Corrupt a Wish

Website · Post by **Hlaoroo** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 3:27 am

Granted. But just because you can doesn't mean you should. You are now phyiscally able to eat anything. but physiologically? Not so much.

I wish for a carrot.

Kyuunado · Post by **Kyuunado** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 3:35 am

Granted, it is seethed in poison that gives you hiccups and makes you laugh non-stop. That is very painful.
I wish I had acupuncture needles.

Website · Post by **Hlaoroo** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 3:55 am

Granted. But they're blunt. Enjoy trying to use them.

I wish I had a pet kangaroo.

Kyuunado · Post by **Kyuunado** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 5:27 am

Granted, it's a very violent one with boxing gloves called Ricky.
I wish I could adjust my centre of gravity perfectly,

Website · Post by **Hlaoroo** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 5:55 am

Granted. Too bad you can no longer make any other movements.

I wish for a phonograph.

GeckoZY · Post by **GeckoZY** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 6:31 am

Granted, you also went back to Thomas Edison's time to get it.

I wish for cacti to survive much longer without water and sunlight.

VEB152 · Post by **VEB152** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 6:39 am

Granted, but now it can't survive without champaigne and Joe Dassin's song records playing all through the night.

I wish for my phone to break down.

Website · Post by **Hlaoroo** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 8:07 am

Granted. It's now clinically depressed and using all your tissues as it cries on your shoulder.

I wish I was a mod.

Argent · Post by **Argent** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 8:39 am

Granted, here's your theme song Chico Hamilton: For Mods Only

I wish I could play the saxophone like a president.

Website · Post by **Hlaoroo** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 9:07 am

Granted. You can play like George Washington.

I wish I could play trumpet like Louis Armstrong.

RioluNation · Post by **RioluNation** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 10:26 pm

Granted, no one likes to listen to YOU play.

I wish I could prove Paranormal Activity isn't real.

Website · Post by **Hlaoroo** » Thu Jun 06, 2013 11:45 pm

Granted. That whole movie franchise collapses and you get sued for defamation.

I wish I could visit Redwall Abbey.

GeckoZY · Post by **GeckoZY** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 12:46 am

Granted. You get stuck in that age.

I wish for a massage chair.

Kyuunado · Post by **Kyuunado** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 2:25 am

Granted, its faulty and breaks your ribs. Mmmmmm ribs...
I wish I had some ribs.

GeckoZY · Post by **GeckoZY** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 2:46 am

Granted. The Hlaoroo stew is now done, you can get the ribs. But it's slightly overcooked.

I wish for cake!

Website · Post by **Hlaoroo** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 2:54 am

Granted. You get yellow cake and all international security agencies arrest you for possessing it.

I wish for a barber.

Kyuunado · Post by **Kyuunado** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 4:34 am

Granted, he used the cut-throat blade and was bad at it.
I wish I could see in the dark.

Website · Post by **Hlaoroo** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 5:20 am

Granted. You get turned into an owl.

I wish my chair was softer.

GeckoZY · Post by **GeckoZY** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 5:48 am

Granted. You sink in and never get out.

I wish I have a water bed.

hyperfox · Post by **hyperfox** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 5:51 am

granted, just dont poke it with anything sharp..

I wish I had a french silk pie.

Website · Post by **Hlaoroo** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 7:07 am

Granted. Just watch out for the needles holding it together.

I wish for something to get the crumbs out of my keyboard.

Kyuunado · Post by **Kyuunado** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 8:23 am

Granted, they put the breadcrumbs on you. Run.
I wish I could see through walls.

Website · Post by **Hlaoroo** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 8:44 am

Granted. But you can't see through windows or doors.

I wish for Bad Wolf.

Argent · Post by **Argent** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 9:02 am

Oops, you got Bad Lions instead.

I wish for a cornucopia machine. And a plastic spork.

Website · Post by **Hlaoroo** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 9:15 am

Granted. But the spork induces a glitch into the machine so that it can only produce more sporks and more cornucopia machines which can only produce sporks and cornucopia machines. This leads to you getting swamped in an avalance of sporks and machines which continues to grow exponentially.

I wish for an English Country Garden.

Argent · Post by **Argent** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 9:31 am

Granted. Unfortunately it's in Dunwich.

I wish for a copy of the Necronomicon.

Website · Post by **Hlaoroo** » Fri Jun 07, 2013 9:42 am

Granted. Too bad it's in an obscure, forgotten language so you can't read it.

I wish for a 1950's video camera.

hyperfox · Post by **hyperfox** » Sat Jun 08, 2013 12:36 am

Granted, it looks like new.

I wish for extended time, or ability to freeze time

Website · Post by **Hlaoroo** » Sat Jun 08, 2013 1:03 am

Granted. But you can't unfreeze or unextend it.

I wish for 3 tonnes of gold bullion.

hyperfox · Post by **hyperfox** » Sat Jun 08, 2013 1:14 am

granted.

I wish that my car was fixed completely

Sat Jun 08, 2013 1:24 am

granted, it can no longer have babies.

I wish everyone would remember that they can't just grant a wish, but have to corrupt it

Website · Post by **Hlaoroo** » Sat Jun 08, 2013 1:34 am

Granted. They remember it but choose to ignore it.

I wish for more puns like Brent's.

hyperfox · Post by **hyperfox** » Sat Jun 08, 2013 1:46 am

granted, but its more difficult than you think.

I wish for pie again.

Website · Post by **Hlaoroo** » Sat Jun 08, 2013 2:10 am

Granted. Look over there! --> *custard pie to the face*

I wish for a camera to record that moment!

hyperfox · Post by **hyperfox** » Sat Jun 08, 2013 3:21 am

Granted, but it dies before you have a chance to.

I wish for a towel to wipe my face

Website · Post by **Hlaoroo** » Sat Jun 08, 2013 4:14 am

Granted. But it comes engraved with a "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy" reference and a clinically depressed robot.

I wish for an infinite improbability drive.

hyperfox · Post by **hyperfox** » Sat Jun 08, 2013 4:28 am

Granted, but it doesn't work.

I wish for a new car

Website · Post by **Hlaoroo** » Sat Jun 08, 2013 4:50 am

Granted. It's a 1982 toyota camry with 730,000 miles on the clock. But, you've never owned it so it's new to you.

I wish for perfect 20/20 vision.

GeckoZY · Post by **GeckoZY** » Sat Jun 08, 2013 4:54 am

Granted. You lose your sense of taste.

I wish for a universal remote.

Website · Post by **Hlaoroo** » Sat Jun 08, 2013 5:13 am

Granted. The remote will switch the universe on.

I wish for some orange and green striped curtains to match the pink and yellow spotted couches and the purple, red and blue plaid carpet I've just bought.

(Well you said I'v lost my sense of taste!

)