anyone have any jokes that they'd like to share, keeping the PG of course
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif)
I'll start with my favorite
why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?
because if it had 4 it'd be a chicken sedan
Moderator: ArcWolf
FAIL! XDJakkal wrote:A German, an American and a Russian are sentenced to dead by shooting.
While they are waiting for the execution in their cell, the American says to the other two: "Listen, the marksmen are very naive! Exploit it!"
The next day, they are brought to the alley. First, they put the American against the wall.
THe commander shouts: "READY!"
The American shouts: "Tsunami!"
The Marksmen are running away, the American is jumping over the fence and is gone.
Next, the german is placed at the wall.
The commander shouts: "READY!"
The German shouts: "Earthquake!"
The Marksmen are running away, the German is jumping over the fence and is gone.
The russian thinks: "well, I can do that!"
The Russuan is placed at the wall.
The Commander shouts: "READY!"
The Russian shouts:"FIRE!"
That's interesting. Over in England we have the exact same joke, only ours is "Englishman, Scotsman, Irishman", with the Irishman always doing the stupid thing.A German, an American and a Russian are sentenced to dead by shooting.
I've heard that joke too, except it was the whole blond/burnette/red head thing. Interesting how some jokes have such similar formats and only vary by region....sliceofdog wrote:That's interesting. Over in England we have the exact same joke, only ours is "Englishman, Scotsman, Irishman", with the Irishman always doing the stupid thing.
Kuja wrote:"Why should the world exist without me? That wouldn't be fair. If I die, we all die!"
I've got a follow up blonde joke for that one.Jersey wrote:I've heard that joke too, except it was the whole blond/burnette/red head thing. Interesting how some jokes have such similar formats and only vary by region....sliceofdog wrote:That's interesting. Over in England we have the exact same joke, only ours is "Englishman, Scotsman, Irishman", with the Irishman always doing the stupid thing.
Anyway, joke:
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''
Next joke I put in here won't be a blond joke, I swear! =P
That was epic...devils wrote:i have a joke!
The Detroit Lions
Kuja wrote:"Why should the world exist without me? That wouldn't be fair. If I die, we all die!"
Ok, I laughed at that.Sleet wrote:Knock knock?
Who's there?
Interrupting joke that doesn't really work over the internet.
Interrupting joke tha-
MOO.
Thank you for inspiration...Sleet wrote:Knock knock?
Who's there?
Interrupting joke that doesn't really work over the internet.
Interrupting joke tha-
MOO.
Kuja wrote:"Why should the world exist without me? That wouldn't be fair. If I die, we all die!"
Jason Mraz wrote: My goal is to show everyone that they, too, can do what they love to do.
Daggy wrote: Look a shadowpriest, what a cutie.... POW
Jason Mraz wrote: My goal is to show everyone that they, too, can do what they love to do.
Daggy wrote: Look a shadowpriest, what a cutie.... POW
I can beat that with a true story :pi have a joke!
The Detroit Lions
that eerily reminds me ofsliceofdog wrote:I can beat that with a true story :pi have a joke!
The Detroit Lions
During our recent election campaign, one candidate, David Cameron, was asked the best joke he had heard recently. His reply was "Nick Clegg", who was the third-party underdog candidate in the campaign.
After the election, Cameron became Prime Minister, and formed a coalition with Nick Clegg's party, who is now Deputy Prime Minister. In their first ever public address a reporter brought up Cameron's 'joke', and Clegg hadn't heard about it before then. Fun times were had :p
Anyhow;
A scotsman, a blonde and an alien walk into a bar. The barman turns to them and says "What is this, some kinda joke?"
A horse walks into a bar. The barman sees him and says "Why the long face?"
A duck walks into a bar. He goes up to the barman and says "Have you got any bread?". The Barman says "No, sorry. Would you like anything else?"
The duck thinks, and says "That depends; Have you got any bread?"
The barman, a little irritated, says "No, I just told you. We don't have bread. You can order a drink if you like"
The duck nods, and then says "Have you got any bread?"
The barman leans in and says "For the last time, we don't serve bread. If you ask me one more time I'll nail your beak to this bar"
The duck replies "Have you got any nails?"
The barman hesitates, and says "No"
"Well then," says the duck "Have you got any bread?"
XD Yeah, I think that's the longer and a little more kid friendly version. And the... song version :pthat eerily reminds me of
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q
Jason Mraz wrote: My goal is to show everyone that they, too, can do what they love to do.
Daggy wrote: Look a shadowpriest, what a cutie.... POW
When it's the timer on a microwave?Enty wrote:Not so much a joke as a riddle, but still.
When is 100 less than 99?
His Horse's name was Friday.sliceofdog wrote:Hey, if we're doing riddles as well now;
A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays for two nights, and leaves on Friday. How?