Housepets!

You get your wish. He is no longer hunting you. Right now. He sah's he'll get back to it eventually so, you know, keep your head on a swivel. could be any time, any where.

I wish for a years supply of trash bags because I'm out.

Granted, but in order to get the trash bags, we used alchemy to turn your house into trash bags.

I wish Isaac was an actual fighter in Smash Ultimate and not just an assist trophy.

Congrats, He's in the game. Its an actual fighter. but he's a shadow of the least fitting character, ganon I guess, and doesn't have his own voice lines. But he's in the game, AND a fighter.

I wish for guilty gear strive to have a better lobby system.

GRANTED: THE LOBBY SYSTEM NOW PLAY VERY NICE MUSIC, WHICH MAKES IT BETTER.

I wish that people would get off the Gamecube Nostalgia trip so I CAN AFFORD A COPY OF F-ZERO GX

Granted, you can now afford one, unfortunately it contains a two hour introduction featuring grainy footage of the Rockettes with a didgeridoo , accordion, and vuvuzela soundtrack.

I wish the faucet wouldn’t drip all day.

You faucet now doesn't drip all day, just for 23 and 59 seconds out of the day. but not ALL day.

I wish I knew how to make a good bowl of humus.

Yes, your bowl of humans is quite, tasty, and floating, þe chance of you reaching þat bowl of humans is nigh impossible

I wish þat a ps1 port of Star Wars Jedi Knight retroactively was made.

Congrats, it was made! and it everyone hates it be because it's poorly made. At least its there!

I wish I could do a sweet kick flip on a skate board.

A sweet kick flip, you say? Okay. Try it. It will still go wrong, horribly, horribly wrong, but if you start to bleed from your many injuries you might notice the blood tastes like sugar.


I wish that Cheshire Cat would just leave me alone.

He does. Unfortunately, he is now giving away large amounts of money to everyone he talks to.

I wish I had a castle in the sky, oh, way up, where the bluebirds fly.

Boom! A castle appears in the sky. It's too high up for you to reach. It's too high up for a helicopter to fly, and it doesn't have a runway.
Maybe NASA could help you with this one?

I wish I was an astronaut.

In a terrible twist of fate your rocket crashes into Trekkie's sky castle, which is also evil and full of horrible monsters now? Weird. You survived, but now you have to run and hide from all the horrible monsters while you try to find a way back to the ground.
Oh and also, all the official press releases refer to you as one of those animal astronauts, for some reason... I don't know why they'd do that. You didn't sign on for some space mission that was super-classified, did you? 'Cause then all official knowledge that you even left the surface probably gets disavowed, which means nobody knows you're missing and even if they did, they're not allowed to look for you.
You could try growing wings, but, in this place, I bet you'd end up growing more than just that...

Me, I'm just tired of all this poking and prodding. Wish I could get out of this lab.

Granted, you escape from the lab and run into my sky castle.

I wish the frying oil wasn’t so heavy.

Granted, your frying oil evaporates into nothing but air. It is no longer heavy.


But now I wish I had something to eat..

Granted, you have a pudding of iceberg lettuce, wads of chewed gum, cucumbers, tinfoil, caulk, and orange gummy bears.


I wish town hall had more convenient hours.

Granted, Town Hall is now open 24/7. However due to these hours and many people coming in, nothing gets done.


I wish for more control over my life

Granted. You now have to consciously think about breathing in order to breathe. Good job.

I wish I had an authentic Apollo A7L-B space suit.

Granted, you get it, you win the lottery, a commercial space shuttle launch center opens just outside your hometown, you get to go to space, you're spending your month in a space resort, and one day, you finally go on a spacewalk, you put on your authentic Apollo A7L-B Spacesuit, and you open the airlock.

You are sucked out into the void of space, you have approximately 13 hours of oxygen.
You see something in the distance, as you get closer, you realize, it's an anthropomorphic Speothos Venaticus* eating Mango Sorbet.

"Man, I wish that I could've been a cat and not... uhh... this, it's cute and all, but cats, cats are little bundles of adorable chaos, what I've always aspired to be." I said, revealing myself to be the mysterious space-breathing anthropomorphic creature.

*note, i used the scientific name as to not get confused with politics.

Granted, you're now a cat. Have fun trying to learn how to run around on all fours and fighting alley cats for food.


Now I wish I could improve in my art skills

Congratulation, you wished and now you received. You can indeed improve your skills, you now have permission. I hope it goes well for you!

I wish that I had perfect penmanship.

yes, you do, but whenever you touch a writing utensil, it EXPLODES

I wish for two fully functional 32 terabyte hard drives.

You get them, alright, but they were mistakenly delivered inside Pandora's Box.
If you open the box they're in, not only will you unleash unimaginable evil on the world, but the box and everything in it will explode.

I wish for a plain piece of cardboard, delivered without any packaging. Don't need to use it for anything, just kinda want cardboard.

Congrats, you not have come cardboard. The second it arrives ,it just kinda catches on fire. No real explanation, but it happened. . . Wish fulfilled!

I wish for a some Raycon every day E-15 ear buds.

Congrats, you now have Raycon every day E-15 ear buds. They are super bassy and suck, what a waste.

I kinda wish I had could get some more commissions

Your wish is granted!

Unfortunately you did not specify when you’d like to get those commissions sooooo… guess you’ll have to wait a little while! Oh well…

I wish I was a Formula 1 driver.

Congrats, you're not a fromula 1 racer. But you have no team, no crew, no car, nothing really besides the official recognition and a title.. . .But hey, that's a start!

I wish I had a duckling as a friend.

Granted. You have a duckling as a friend. However, its mother sees you as a threat and pecks your eyes out. Good job.

I wish for a Nintendo Switch port of Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart.

Your wish is granted!

Unfortunately, however, the cartridge for the game is a pirated copy, which will probably grab the attention of both Sony and Nintendo, who will not only take the cartridge away and sue you for piracy and/or copyright infringement, but will also repeatedly question as to how on earth you managed to do it, leaving you to be constantly bombarded by the media for at least the next month with random interviewers asking the exact same questions over and over again.

Enjoy!

I kinda need a break from the insanity that is life… I wish I could play Mario Kart with Peanut for a day.

Granted, you get to play Super Mario Kart with Peanut, oh and also you can only use an N64 controller.

I wish for a very large atom.

You got it ... but, since it's an atom, you can't find it.

Wish I had new tires for the car.

There you go. But now the car is alive and has a horrifying hunger for human fingers.

I wish I had a sandwich.

Granted. You are now the proud owner of Peanut. Unfortunately, Rick Griffin's lawyers show up and turn your life into a living hell. Good job.

I wish I could meet Céline Dion.

Granted. They will never leave your side and refuse to stop making noise. It’s been weeks since you last slept, your mind is beginning to crack.

I wish I had a hamburger.

Granted. Oh you wanted a REAL hamburger. Sorry we only had plastic ones available, and they are also speakers that play elevator music ... forever. Enjoy!

I wish I had a cardboard box.

Okay, you get a swimming pool filled with pure vanilla extract.
...what? it sounded like a bad idea already
And I like vanilla

I wish I could get a black hole named after me...

Granted. The scientists decide to send you to a black hole. Hey the public need some reason why a black hole was named vertigo fox .
you are being sent to the 'Vertigo Fox' black hole.
Good luck!