Housepets!

Posted: **Tue Jun 02, 2020 10:15 pm**

Granted, but the only movie playing is a three- hour film about raisin sorting performed by mimes.

I wish I got fewer robocalls.

Posted: **Wed Jun 03, 2020 6:49 am**

Granted. You get the exact same calls but now its people.

I wish I could dance

Posted: **Wed Jun 03, 2020 6:58 am**

Granted, but you can only do polkas.

I wish I had a decent boat.

Posted: **Wed Jun 03, 2020 7:42 am**

you now have an amazing boat. It's big, has GPS, can carry all your things and stuff.

Sadly it's not seaworthy and cant be put in water. But, there you go.

I wish I had a pair of studio headphones.

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 7:57 am**

Granted, they aren’t functional, but hey, they’re yours.

I wish for less humidity.

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 8:24 am**

granted, it is now one percent less humid.

ah wish fer a sponsorship

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 8:27 am**

Granted, you’re sponsored by a guy named Big Lester who insists on complete control over all decisions.

I wish for a functional air conditioner.

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 8:32 am**

you have the best model of a/c possible. Now you just have to go get it from is manufacturing place which happens to be a thousand miles from where you are.

I wish for a desk.

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 12:56 pm**

Granted, however all the drawers are full of angry barn swallows.

I wish for a quicker laptop.

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 2:10 pm**

you've got it, its as fast as the flash! . . . and there it goes!. . wow . . .it's fast.

I wish for some juice.

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 2:12 pm**

Granted, enjoy your cabbage juice.

I wish for less mosquitoes.

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 2:14 pm**

The mosquitoes in your area have been replaced by wood roaches. . . yaaay . . .

I wish for a new fancy stove.

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 2:17 pm**

Granted, it’s so fancy that no one knows how to use it. Nice to look at though.

I wish for less pollen.

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 2:22 pm**

granted. Not there's no pollen. All the trees and stuff start to wilt and die out.

I wish I had a new controller for my xbox.

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 3:03 pm**

Granted, sadly it causes the game system to overload and explode.

I wish for less nosebleeds.

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 3:30 pm**

you no longer get nosebleeds. However it is replaced by awful itchiness that almost doesn't go away.

I wish for adamantium

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 3:41 pm**

Granted, however you set off metal sectors everywhere, and no one believes you when you say you can’t take it off.

I wish for a quality hot sauce.

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 3:48 pm**

it's the most quality sauce you've had. However it burns like nothing you've ever had before. but it taste great~

I wish a boombox

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 3:58 pm**

Granted, but the only music it will play are ukulele and accordion solos.

I wish for less junk mail.

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 4:17 pm**

you no longer get any mail at all! that'll solve the problem.

I wish for some salad.

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 6:07 pm**

Granted, enjoy your salad of peanut shells, peach pits, and stale bread.

I wish for a cleaner ceiling fan .

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 6:22 pm**

congrats. your fan is the cleanest around because it's always producing soap and water. It never stops. . . .I wonder where it comes from?

I wish for a sega dreamcast that works just fine.

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 7:13 pm**

Granted, however it’s now the only thing you own that does work.

I wish for some hair gel.

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 7:39 pm**

granted. you have gel that holds it completely and forever in the very next style you keep it in.

I wish I could summon animals.

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 7:56 pm**

Granted, you can now summon hamsters.

I wish for a nice pie.

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 8:02 pm**

before you is the finest mud pie you've ever had in your life. Made with the highest quality mud!

I wish for a new speaker

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 8:29 pm**

Granted, you have a new speaker, unfortunately it only works if you sing “Oh, Susanna” while hopping in a circle.

I wish there was a decent Mexican restaurant nearby.

Posted: **Sat Jun 06, 2020 8:44 pm**

You get the most authentic restaurant ever. However, its so authentic no one speaks english. I hope you're fluent, or else you can't eat there.

I wish for a giant peanut sandwich plushy.

Posted: **Sun Jun 07, 2020 9:02 am**

Granted, it does yell “Graaaaape!” as soon as you go to sleep, though, hope you’re ready for that.

I wish for my hay fever to be less severe.

Posted: **Sun Jun 07, 2020 10:39 am**

your have fever is so less sever, you now thrive in that environment. however, when you're not in it, you start to feel sickly. . .. I guess it's inverted now.

I wish for a grape sandwich plushy then.

Posted: **Sun Jun 07, 2020 4:14 pm**

Granted, but be very careful waking her up.

I wish for popcorn with real butter.

Posted: **Sun Jun 07, 2020 5:59 pm**

Granted. it's very fattening though . . . I wouldn't eat it. They might have refrigerated the butter.

I wish for an otter friend.

Posted: **Sun Jun 07, 2020 6:13 pm**

Granted, but the otter keeps borrowing money and promising to pay you back “in a couple days”.

I wish for less expensive movie concessions.

Posted: **Sun Jun 07, 2020 6:34 pm**

you've got it. they're so inexpensive because all movie theaters no longer sell any! . . . I hope you have a way to bring some in.

I wish for a bo staff.

Posted: **Sun Jun 07, 2020 7:10 pm**

Granted, but it is made out of poison ivy and poison oak. (Don’t ask me how or why they did that.)

I wish for less noisy motorcycles.

Posted: **Sun Jun 07, 2020 7:28 pm**

all motorcycles are now completely silent. Sadly this has cause harm because now no one knows when they're coming. leading to many cartoonish near misses and such.

I wish for a hover bike.

Posted: **Mon Jun 08, 2020 6:51 am**

Granted, but the bike’s seat causes a allergic reaction and the bike itself only goes in reverse.

I wish the faucet wouldn’t drip all day.

Posted: **Mon Jun 08, 2020 7:38 am**

congrats. IT will never drip again because there's no water coming to your house again!

I wish for some breakfast.

Posted: **Mon Jun 08, 2020 1:01 pm**

Granted, enjoy your orange peels and peach pits.

I wish I had a chocolate cake.

Posted: **Mon Jun 08, 2020 4:00 pm**

you have the best, most decadent cake ever. Sadly though, it seems you've picked up a sever chocolate allergy. . .

I wish for some strawberry jam

Housepets!

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