Housepets!

Posted: **Thu Apr 09, 2020 4:44 pm**

Granted. The only way in is via the 30,000 foot ladder.

I wish I could enjoy the nice spring weather.

Posted: **Fri Apr 10, 2020 12:11 pm**

Congratulations, You get to enjoy spring weather all the time as long as you want because your living situation is now gone. Ta dah~

I wish for my favorite pizza.

Posted: **Sat Apr 11, 2020 12:13 am**

Granted. However, it falls to the ground and floods Station Square.

I wish to uncover the hidden lore.

Posted: **Sat Apr 11, 2020 7:36 pm**

You got it! You've uncovered the lore! You can't read it and it can never be translated. But it was there!

I wish Station Square wouldn't flood from chaos anymore.

Posted: **Mon Apr 13, 2020 7:42 am**

Graaaaanted! It's still flooded but now it's entirely your fault.

I wish everybody here except me could be really good at absolutely everything.

Posted: **Fri Apr 24, 2020 4:09 pm**

Granted, though this also makes everyone really good at dying, so everyone is dropping like flies which will leave you in extreme isolation with no one to talk to, driving you to absolutely insanity, but not before you get tortured for years because of how well people can torture others which could drive you to insanity even sooner.

I wish that boos (from the Mario series) are real.

Posted: **Fri May 15, 2020 10:34 am**

Granted, they're real Unfortunatly, like the game. You'lll never get to see them or know they're around until its too late. . . because, you know, they go invisible when you look at them.

I wish for a party where we're all invited, make it okay, and have a good time.

Posted: **Sat May 30, 2020 6:15 pm**

Granted, you have lots of good thyme. What're you gonna do with it?

I wish that lockdown was over...

Posted: **Sat May 30, 2020 6:36 pm**

Granted, but now there’s a one month waiting period for haircuts.

I wish the vacuum cleaner wasn’t so loud.

Posted: **Sat May 30, 2020 6:40 pm**

Granted. Now its so quiet it sounds like its off. Because it is. Always. Its broken now.

I wish my internet was free and good.

Posted: **Sat May 30, 2020 6:47 pm**

Oh it’s free and good. Unfortunately, you can only visit sites that compare the merits of different styles of cucumber salad.

I wish there were more strawberry stands.

Posted: **Sat May 30, 2020 6:54 pm**

Granted. There are many many more strawberry stands. Unfortunately they're out of season and most of the strawberries are under ripe or over ripe.

I wish for a fuzzy blanket.

Posted: **Sat May 30, 2020 7:03 pm**

Granted. Sadly, you can’t get it off you and it is 95 degrees out, and your home has no air conditioning.

I wish I could swim faster.

Posted: **Sat May 30, 2020 7:27 pm**

You can now swim as fast as you want. Unfortunately though the next body of water you step into, you're stuck in forever.

I wish I had amazing athletic ability.

Posted: **Sat May 30, 2020 10:14 pm**

Granted, however everyone thinks that you take performance enhancing drugs, and all your wins are nullified.

I wish I had a better washing machine.

Posted: **Sun May 31, 2020 7:08 am**

Granted. Its a full .0000000001 percent better than the one you have.

I wish for a new fancy hat.

Posted: **Sun May 31, 2020 7:18 am**

Granted, unfortunately you can’t take it off.

I wish for a fully stocked freezer.

Posted: **Sun May 31, 2020 7:25 am**

your freezer is fully stocked with ice. Top to bottom. Just ice. Nothing can fit. . .

I wish for a new Keyboard to play.

Posted: **Sun May 31, 2020 9:27 am**

Granted, unfortunately all keys play the same note, and that note summons deranged wombats.

I wish to have a castle in the sky.

Posted: **Sun May 31, 2020 10:15 am**

Hey look, there it is. . . . .and there it goes . . . .. there was nothing for it to stand on in the sky . .. it was there though!

I wish for a pet turtle

Posted: **Sun May 31, 2020 10:26 am**

Granted, but it goes rogue and steals a car, blaming you for the crime.

I wish I hadn’t had a better running car.

Posted: **Sun May 31, 2020 1:06 pm**

Congratulations. You hadn't had a better running car. It was worse than you ever remembered.

I wish I could sound like anyone I wanted to at any time.

Posted: **Sun May 31, 2020 1:29 pm**

Granted, but everyone you try to talk to is hearing impaired.

I wish the motorcyclists in my town would stop going by my house so late at night.

Posted: **Sun May 31, 2020 1:31 pm**

Done. They now go by maybe five minutes earlier! Enjoy the extra time.

I wish I could snowboard like a pro.

Posted: **Sun May 31, 2020 1:37 pm**

Granted. Unfortunately, you now develop an allergy to snow. (Don’t ask me how.)

I wish my toaster didn’t burn the toast.

Posted: **Sun May 31, 2020 2:20 pm**

it will never burn toast again, because now it just freezes it!

I wish I have a roll of tape that never ran out.

Posted: **Sun May 31, 2020 2:47 pm**

Granted, unfortunately the only thingS the tape works on are jumbo sized packages of Sour Patch Kids and papers that have the phrase “boogie down, bro” written on them.

I wish more movies came on VHS.

Posted: **Sun May 31, 2020 2:53 pm**

Granted. Now everything comes out on VHS. It would be neat if it wasn;t for the great Vcr purge that also happened. It's now illegal to own, make, or rent such technology.

Posted: **Mon Jun 01, 2020 7:11 pm**

Your wish is granted, however unspecified. As a result your life will be negatively affected in a random fashion at a random time. Enjoy the anticipation!

I wish I could talk to my cats.

Posted: **Mon Jun 01, 2020 7:14 pm**

Congratulations. Your cats now talk to you. . . all the time . .. it never stops . .. and they all have personalities you don't really vibe with . . . but you still love them. . . right?

I wish I had the powers of miles morales spider-man.

Posted: **Mon Jun 01, 2020 8:10 pm**

Granted, however the real Miles Morales declares you an imposter and thinks you’re up to no good, telling his allies this.

I wish I could play the guitar well.

Posted: **Mon Jun 01, 2020 8:11 pm**

You can now play guitar fairly well. Unfortunately you now have a rival who will always be a little bit better than you and you will never stop hearing about it.

I wish I had the leadership skills of Captain America.

Posted: **Mon Jun 01, 2020 8:31 pm**

Granted, sadly you are now trapped in a world that really, really, HATES Captain America, and anyone who exhibits similar qualities is hunted down and imprisoned.

I wish I was a good artist.

Posted: **Mon Jun 01, 2020 8:36 pm**

Granted, you're a good artist now. And that's all you'd ever be. Not great, not wonderful, your art will only just be seen as slightly better than "okay" to everyone forever. But not enough to really catch attention.

I wish For a sequel to one of my favorite games.

Posted: **Mon Jun 01, 2020 9:07 pm**

Granted, sadly the game is only sold in Namibia and is illegal to export.

I wish for Hollywood to have an original idea every once in a while.

Posted: **Mon Jun 01, 2020 9:10 pm**

They have original ideas once again. But sadly original doesn't mean good so every single movie is an objective flop and even offensive to watch.

I wish I never had to vacuum my floors for them to be clean.

Posted: **Mon Jun 01, 2020 9:32 pm**

Granted, you now have to use a Zamboni machine to clean your floors.

I wish that refrigerator door would close and stay closed.

Posted: **Mon Jun 01, 2020 9:33 pm**

It is close. Forever. It will never open again, but it has been turned into a smart fridge so you can see exactly what's in there. Also you can play skyrim on it.

I wish I knew how to be a writer.

Posted: **Mon Jun 01, 2020 9:40 pm**

Granted, however all you can write are comedies about yam farmers named Allen, Lamar, or Esmerelda.

I wish my oven’s timer actually worked.

Posted: **Mon Jun 01, 2020 9:42 pm**

The time works. However it only runs in Metric time.

I wish I could go see a movie.

Housepets!

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