Corrupt a Wish

FireworkFox · Post by **FireworkFox** » Wed Jan 22, 2020 2:18 pm

Granted. You now have to pay for everyone else's groceries. Have fun in bankruptcy-land!

I wish for nothing.

JayBarker · Post by **JayBarker** » Wed Jan 22, 2020 2:25 pm

Granted. your life and everything related to it becomes nothing.

I wish for my bathroom to be clean forever.

FireworkFox · Post by **FireworkFox** » Wed Jan 22, 2020 2:27 pm

Granted. Your bathroom was just cleaned by the best cleaning company in the world. And it's going to STAY clean because you can never enter it again.

I wish this wish wouldn't get corrupted.

JayBarker · Post by **JayBarker** » Wed Jan 22, 2020 2:30 pm

Granted. The was pure. So pure in face that you couldn't possibly handle the purity and got sick.

I wish for a bottle of clean water.

Nathan Kerbonaut · Post by **Nathan Kerbonaut** » Wed Jan 22, 2020 6:59 pm

Granted. No food for you.

I wish I had stronger arms.

JayBarker · Post by **JayBarker** » Wed Jan 22, 2020 7:15 pm

Granted, you have arms the size of redwoods and can no longer do anything but admire how apparently strong your arms are.

I wish for a new guitar.

FireworkFox · Post by **FireworkFox** » Wed Jan 22, 2020 10:32 pm

Granted. It's so new, it won't even exist until Earth Spacedock is completed in the late 2200s. Better go buy a DeLorean.

I wish for a DeLorean.

JayBarker · Post by **JayBarker** » Wed Jan 22, 2020 10:46 pm

Congrats, you get Zachary DeLorean. Song if John Delorean. He seems unhappy, feels kidnapped, and is threatening litigation.

I wish for a perfectly harmless bowl of Pho.

Nathan Kerbonaut · Post by **Nathan Kerbonaut** » Thu Jan 23, 2020 9:47 am

Granted. It's harmless now, but it has a suspicious aura. Feeling lucky?

I wish I could shapeshift.

FireworkFox · Post by **FireworkFox** » Thu Jan 23, 2020 9:49 am

Granted. You shift into a brick, and because bricks have no brains or organs, you are basically dead now. Congrats!

I wish I could get my hands on some Super Soldier Serum.

JayBarker · Post by **JayBarker** » Thu Jan 23, 2020 9:57 am

And you did! You get a vial of super soldier serum. Unfortunately there seems to be no way to get it out of its vial as it's indestructible and does not open. It's there though!

I wish to have a Stand that won't kill me.

FireworkFox · Post by **FireworkFox** » Thu Jan 23, 2020 10:00 am

Granted. It won't kill you, but it will hurt you.

I wish for a new meme.

JayBarker · Post by **JayBarker** » Thu Jan 23, 2020 10:09 am

You get a brand new meme. Its funny. Really funny. You're compelled to share it because its just so funny.... But no one Is laughing but you, forever, as you do nothing but share.

I wish I was good at scrabble

FireworkFox · Post by **FireworkFox** » Thu Jan 23, 2020 10:13 am

Granted. But that's all you're ever gonna be good at.

I wish for a starship.

JayBarker · Post by **JayBarker** » Thu Jan 23, 2020 10:33 am

Granted, you get a starship capable of interstellar travel. it is, however the size of a hotwheels car so . . . .Hop in!

I wish my cellphone never died.

Vertigo Fox · Post by **Vertigo Fox** » Sun Jan 26, 2020 12:57 pm

Granted, your cellphone's now a living organism which you have to care for like a pet.

I wish someone would get these fleas out of my pelt.

JayBarker · Post by **JayBarker** » Sun Jan 26, 2020 1:59 pm

Granted, you get a have been rubbed with a salve that stops fleas from ever getting to you again. You also can never grow hair again. Oops.

I wish I owned a successful restaurant

NHWestoN · Post by **NHWestoN** » Sun Jan 26, 2020 2:09 pm

You do! Congradu … oh, you do know about the massive ptomaine poisoning outbreak the occurred at you establishment, requiring you to spend your life dealings with the lawsuits, the investigations, and the public villainizations, right?

I wish my goldfish could sing opera.

JayBarker · Post by **JayBarker** » Sun Jan 26, 2020 2:22 pm

Congrats, your fish becomes the most successful opera act on the planet. Unfortunately the fame goes to its head and it acts kinda like a diva and ends up never thanking you as it steps over you for even more success, leaving you behind.

I wish for a friendly duck.

FireworkFox · Post by **FireworkFox** » Mon Jan 27, 2020 10:07 am

Granted, but you are now trapped in a certain Disney cartoon. Oh, and you are also a duck.
Woo-oo!

I wish for some vibranium.

JayBarker · Post by **JayBarker** » Mon Jan 27, 2020 10:42 am

you get a solid brick of vibranium. Congrats. Although there's sadly no technology to use it and no tools to chip at it enough to even use it in small fragments. But you have a brick of it at least!

I wish I was able to use Chi.

FireworkFox · Post by **FireworkFox** » Mon Jan 27, 2020 10:46 am

Granted. And then Kai (the villain from Kung Fu Panda 3) immediately steals your Chi.

I wish I was in Starfleet!

JayBarker · Post by **JayBarker** » Mon Jan 27, 2020 10:56 am

Congratulations! you get an acceptance letter saying you have indeed made it in. Although no one ever comes for you, and it doesnt seem like any contact effort is made but .. . on paper you're in!

I wish for a poster of grape.

Nathan Kerbonaut · Post by **Nathan Kerbonaut** » Mon Jan 27, 2020 8:10 pm

Granted. It has a surface area of 5 square microns.

I wish for days when everything was available on Netflix.

JayBarker · Post by **JayBarker** » Mon Jan 27, 2020 8:35 pm

Congratulations, unfortunately the deal just doesn't work in ( your country). Aw shucks.

I wish for a plushie of peanut.

OrWasIt.EXE · Post by **OrWasIt.EXE** » Tue Feb 25, 2020 10:42 pm

Granted. You get a plushie of a peanut. On it is a picture of Peanut, attached with a piece of tape.

I wish for an egg sandwich.

FireworkFox · Post by **FireworkFox** » Wed Feb 26, 2020 10:12 am

You receive your egg sandwich, but it was made with bad eggs.

I wish I was better at Super Smash Bros.

JayBarker · Post by **JayBarker** » Sat Feb 29, 2020 11:07 am

Congratulations, you're now on par with m2k and HBox, unfortunately that means you're now a melee pro. So now you have to go to melee tournaments . . .and you have to deal with the melee smells . . .oh dear . . . there may have been no winning there.

I wish I was better as wishing.

Vertigo Fox · Post by **Vertigo Fox** » Wed Mar 11, 2020 10:43 pm

You can wish as well as you like but you still won't get anything real from it.

I wish that this wish would give me something slightly bad.

NHWestoN · Post by **NHWestoN** » Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:15 pm

Fair enough - there's a squashed brussel sprout on your heel. It's NEVER coming off.

Wish this roof leak would stay fixed.

Vertigo Fox · Post by **Vertigo Fox** » Thu Mar 12, 2020 7:26 pm

dang, a brussel sprout... that's my favourite vegetable
Well all the leaks in your house are now fixed... by every definition. Making it completely opaque and impenetrable to everything. Say goodbye to light, and to ever leaving again.

I wish I didn't have to be so meta all the time.

Nathan Kerbonaut · Post by **Nathan Kerbonaut** » Sun Mar 15, 2020 8:26 pm

Granted. You've been demoted to a two-dimensional existence.

I wish I was immune to all diseases.

Zesortinge · Post by **Zesortinge** » Mon Mar 16, 2020 12:21 pm

Granted. You can't catch a disease if you're an inanimate plush toy.

I wish that toilet paper wouldn't run out.

Foxfan2164 · Post by **Foxfan2164** » Mon Mar 16, 2020 1:58 pm

Well toilet paper won't run out if you don't have a toilet. Or anything else you'd need toilet paper for.

I wish I didn't have to sleep.

JayBarker · Post by **JayBarker** » Fri Apr 03, 2020 6:43 pm

Granted. you no longer need to sleep. However you still feel just as tired, but your body doesn't require the sleep. It's just a feeling now.

I wish for a pillow that stays fluffy and soft forever.

Vertigo Fox · Post by **Vertigo Fox** » Tue Apr 07, 2020 7:12 pm

Granted, but in order to stay that soft and fluffy it needs to take in nutrients. So sometime very soon your pillow is going to eat you.
Sweet dreams!

...I wish I'd get to eat you before that pillow does...

JayBarker · Post by **JayBarker** » Tue Apr 07, 2020 7:32 pm

Granted. You get a pie filled with my hair, skin flakes, and miscellaneous other fluids and bits... Enjoy ~

I wish I was a had an Tablet with all the legal movies I wanted.

trekkie · Post by **trekkie** » Tue Apr 07, 2020 9:27 pm

Granted, but they’ve all been translated into Urdu.

I wish I had a rake that was intact.

JayBarker · Post by **JayBarker** » Wed Apr 08, 2020 5:48 pm

You have your rake. Its intact and solid. So solid you can't lift it or use it in any meaningful way.

I wish I had a new friend who was a good person and around fairly often.

trekkie · Post by **trekkie** » Thu Apr 09, 2020 9:35 am

Granted, unfortunately all s/he says is “Please give my best wishes to everybody.” which gets rather tiresome.

I wish I had a castle in the sky.