Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

What do you call a fic that's not a fic

Moderators: Hagus, SeanWolf

Locked
User avatar
JohnWillow
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: A treehouse atop a hill

Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by JohnWillow »

Alright!!!

Summer's here...at least that's what people are saying...and now that my course is wrapping up I'm back in the writing spirit.

I wanted to post this a few days ago but thought I'd wait to see Monday's strip.

I'd like this story to be as canon as it can (on) *Dodges the flying brick*

There's a chunk of me that thinks I'm crazy for revealing this story now.

Other topics have shown me you guys have a wonderful amount of patience when someone needs to take their time.

As the name suggests to some of you it is a continuation from my previous stories.

I'll post the first chapter now and then you'll get the second this saturday.

Hopefully i can keep posting them every three to five days from then on.

So people who liked my last fiction, take the time to reacquaint yourselves.

To curious first timers I suggest you read my first two stories to better understand my way of thinking.

And those who click and run....well....click and run.

Here are links to my old stories. As always comments and suggestions are more than welcome.


Story 1 - Res-pite

Plot - Res writes an email to Grape about what's going on in his life.
He has joined an acting class and made new friends.

https://www.housepetscomic.com/forums/v ... =13&t=1816



Story 2 - The Fox Returns (I posted it under the name Wind Res - istance but I wish I called it this)

Plot - Due to strong winds Res's acting class has been cut short.
He stays behind to prevent his classmates thinking he doesn't want to be around them
but finds it hard to enter the physical circle of conversation.
After a pretty face takes him aside he is reunited with an old friend and the details of his rural origin are awoken.

https://www.housepetscomic.com/forums/v ... =13&t=1827



Have fun
Spike - "Seriously, a talking Dog is the weird thing about all this"

Me - "Not at all, the fact that you're a dog and not a lizard is much weirder"
User avatar
JohnWillow
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: A treehouse atop a hill

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by JohnWillow »

Chapter 1 – The slip and slide scene

It was never enough.
A box in the attic on Monday.
The drawer of her mother’s bed on Tuesday.
And now the cool compression of the washing machine.
Always somewhere tight.
Always somewhere disregarded.
But it was never alone enough.
Never out of everyone’s way.
Never a place to not think.
They cleaned out the attic on Monday.
Her mother changed the bed sheets on Tuesday.
So far no one wanted to wash their dirty clothes.
But it wasn’t enough.
The house was alive with ardent watchers of the talking box only steps from her position.
Grape forgot that this was Game of Thrones night and Peanut had invited Fox and King over to watch long before she became a social recluse.
They had obviously settled on watching the news till it was time to switch channels but the chatter amongst them suggested they had little interest in the information.
She heard it….

Controversial actor Sacha Baron Cohen has refused to apologize to Queen Elizabeth for his widely reviled prank during her Diamond Jubilee weekend.
Britain was stunned and outraged after footage was posted online of the actor joyriding through an unknown rural town in a gaudy white chariot dressed up as her majesty.
Here in the footage the actor struggles with a faulty window which he inevitably has to smash open with his shoe.
Moments later Cohen pulls out a bag of commemorative coins and throws them at the citizens while they look on with bored expressions.
A number of references were made about the trunk of the vehicle which bore a striking resemblance to Pippa Middleton’s rear end
…”

*RING*

A thunderous commotion came from the living room as all three dogs cried…

‘I’LL GET IT!!’.

And lost their common sense.

A cat found no force was more alarming than that of a curious dog. Three was nothing short of a volcanic eruption. Grape clung for dear life to the holes around the metal cylinder as they stampeded into the kitchen and wrestled each other for the phone.

‘GGGRREEELLO!!’ one growled, the voice too gruff to decipher.
‘Aw!’ the others sighed.
‘Yea…she’s right here’ said King, apparently the winner. A few steps later he was tapping on the window of the washing machine door. ‘Hey…someone called Re…’.

The machine door opened and slammed shut in an instant.

King whimpered in surprise. He thought only cartoon mice could move that fast.

The machine door opened again.

‘GO…AWAY!!’ screamed Grape. Her upper body seemed as large as the front of a speeding bus.

The dogs needn’t be told twice. All three charged back to the living room in tail tucking terror.

Grape went through a strong change once they left. Shutting the door calmly she spoke with a little more cheer into the cordless phone.

‘Hey…sorry if that startled you’ she said.

‘Oh…no need…’ squeaked Res.

‘What took you this long to call back, are you in Europe or something?’.

‘Sorry…today was my audition’.

‘Oh yea. How did that go?’.

‘Not great…turns out Cheaney’s and wet floors don’t go together’.


‘Poor dear. Are you hurt?’.

‘A little…um…you, well, didn’t sound great…sorry, on your message…um…’.

‘I was in a bad way earlier…things have been, stupid…I’m even talking to you from a washing machine’.

‘Really?’.

‘Yea…no joke’.

‘What’s up?’.

‘Max and I broke up a few weeks ago’.

There was a gap.

‘Why?’ asked Res.

‘Res, don’t…’ Grape wiped off a tear, she felt so selfish, ‘just don’t get me to say why, please…my downer’s spreading like bird flu and I don’t want to poison you too…that’s not fair…just let me hear your voice for a while…I need a happy story…ok?’.

‘Ok. I can do that. So what do you want to know…?’.

‘Why didn’t it go so well today?’.

‘Oh, how do you begin’ moaned Res, ‘Well, the first floor of this burning building brings us back to the shoes. HOW EASY, would it have been, to check that they could handle a wet stage? Two seconds, enough said!’.

‘Why was the floor wet? I want to know it all’.

‘It was a last minute idea we added to the first scene where the tramp encounters a lovely lady before he tries to get a job on the police force. So, basically I enter pretending to fight a storm. Hazel saw this clown act two days back called Just Good Friends and she liked this scene where they used a pressure washer to make rain. So we agreed to put it in. I do my bit as usual. I come on and parry the gusts of wind like a defending fencer,
‘Whoa! Gust one…I swing to my left…turned round…
‘Yah! Gust two…I stumble back…let the umbrella drag me…things go back to normal and then…
‘Ho boy! Gust three…a quick blast which brings the umbrella above my head…all to do now is to dance towards the bench and fall over Hazel’s lap…I’m like, here we....


‘WAH!!’.

Res had to take the phone off his ear a second later.

Grape rocked the tumbler laughing riotously. She dropped the phone and kicked her legs up against the metal and then crumpled into a ball of disbelief.

Laughter…back in her life…that was like discovering the god particle.

‘Grape!’ said Res, ‘Did someone turn on the machine’.

Grape picked up the phone. ‘I’m laughing you idiot!’.

‘Oh…I guess it would be tumultuous…someone in your state would’ve barricaded all their natural responses and eventually the pressure…’.

‘Res, would you just shut up’ she laughed.

‘Right, shutting up’.

‘Not for good shut up, what’s the next part of the story?’.

‘Well I missed the bench entirely and summersaulted into Duggan like a bowling ball knocking over the last pin. Poor goat probably would’ve dodged if he’d not been smothered in black clothing.
‘The show must go on as they say so I get to my feet and see that my bowler hat’s fallen off. I thought it might make people forget about the accident if I picked it up. A lot of care went into it but I might as well have been riding on a greasy skateboard. Next thing I know I’m tumbling over the empty side of the bench and wind up another ten feet from the bench with Hazel’s Sunday hat stuck in my claws’.


‘Good grief’ Grape chuckled.

‘That’s when they finally stopped it, thank tabby’.

‘So you didn’t get in the show?’.

‘No’.

‘That must suck’.

‘It does. What’s hit harder than the time and the effort was us spending over two hundred dollars on it all’.

‘Whoa, that’s more than I’ll ever see. I bet that’s just a bee sting to you right?’.

‘Well…I didn’t…make that part obvious’.

‘How so?’.

‘I could’ve put in more money than I did. I could’ve even let them rehearse at my house. But I haven’t told them’. He sighed into the phone. ‘What you know about me’.


‘Ah’.

‘Do you think that’s bad?’.

‘I’m not going to complicate your brain with my opinion, it’s only right since I’m not telling you what happened with Max and me. Why don’t we just throw this subject into the trash’.

‘Ok. By the way, if they sell it anywhere a Chelsea Whopper is a pretty good pick me up. I got one with Hazel right after we left the theatre’.

‘I think they’ve got those at this olden style candy store’.

‘Well get down there, you got to trust me on this’.

‘Sure’. She grinned. ‘Have I not heard this girl’s name like twenty-eight times now’.

‘We’re not going out’.

‘But you’re almost in there right?’.

‘It’s not going to happen. I thought, yea maybe, for a while, but then she told me…um…well, turns out she’s a little more than a fan of foxes…’.

‘Oh, she’s a creepy Joey’.

‘Yea’.

‘I’m sorry’.

‘Hey, what can you do. So have you furthered that story you were writing about the tiny monkey who was born in a nut?’.

‘A little bit. I’m past chapter two but it’s not ready to be shown to anyone. Hang on a sec’.

She put down the phone and cracked open a soda. As a golden bubble stream cried over her paw she took in her surroundings with genuine astonishment.

‘Res…I’m in my room!’ she said back to the phone. The period between her leaving the machine and making her way upstairs was nowhere in her memory. She laughed at this. ‘Boy, if you weren’t a writer you’d make a lot of money in psychiatry’.

‘Like Frasier’ said Res.

‘Yea’ she laughed. ‘So what are you going to do now that classes are over?’.

‘Well it’s funny of you to mention Europe. In a couple of weeks my mom and I will be jetting off there for the premiere tour of Pridelands 2’.

‘That’s amazing’.

‘Yea, but…they’ve become kind of second nature to me. Plus you meet a great deal of snobs at these things, and then you’re forced to dine with them…it gets silly’.

‘What are you doing till then?’.

‘I don’t know…finding out how much escargot I can hold down’.

‘Could I see you before you go?’.


‘Well…yea, I could drop by for a couple of days’.


‘Ok…call me…’.

Neither of them knew what else to say.

‘Chow’ she said. And hung up.

She lay down in bed and sipped her soda, with a thought projected to her ceiling.

What if he’s enough….
Spike - "Seriously, a talking Dog is the weird thing about all this"

Me - "Not at all, the fact that you're a dog and not a lizard is much weirder"
User avatar
JohnWillow
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: A treehouse atop a hill

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by JohnWillow »

Alt Text – “This ship has sailed”
Spike - "Seriously, a talking Dog is the weird thing about all this"

Me - "Not at all, the fact that you're a dog and not a lizard is much weirder"
User avatar
copper
Puppy Wrangler
Posts: 6362
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Location: Florida

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by copper »

Ooo, perhaps a relationship... shipping much? :lol:

As always, well written. I enjoyed reading every bit of it. :D
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image
User avatar
JohnWillow
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: A treehouse atop a hill

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by JohnWillow »

Thanks Copper, I'm glad the quality is satisfying because I wasn't too sure with this one. The next chapter should be up tomorrow as long as I'm not doing anything. Have a good day old friend
Spike - "Seriously, a talking Dog is the weird thing about all this"

Me - "Not at all, the fact that you're a dog and not a lizard is much weirder"
User avatar
JohnWillow
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: A treehouse atop a hill

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by JohnWillow »

Chapter 2 – Falling for you


*Knock – Knock – Knock*

‘Grape!?’.

*Knock – Knock – Knock*

‘Grape!?’.

*Knock – Knock – Knock*

‘Grape!?’.

Grape’s door flew open.

‘What, Peanut’ the kitty pondered. Woken from her coma a week early.

‘Hey,’ said the pounding pooch, avoiding her eyes with fang over fang, ‘last night Fox told me about this new comic shop called Clamopticon’.
He met her souring gaze with his dew claws linked together. ‘He says they sell some cool Pridelands stuff…apparently cool was the word the manager used’.

Grape thought about it and let out a long breath. ‘Ok, that sounds better than what I have planned’.

‘Which is?’ inquired the dog.

She had not prepared a response so just quoted the dream she had last night.
‘Seeing if covering a fur ball in some compost will turn it into a cheeseburger’.

‘Be so cool if that worked!’ said Peanut, beaming from ear to ear.

Grape stared. ‘Goodbye, Peanut!’.

Peanut sensed her frustration and rushed down the hall.

They headed out after breakfast their backpacks, leashes and a fair bit of spending money from mom and dad.

Peanut directed them to a little village across town asking a human every now and then where to find it.
At a set of traffic lights on Ichabod Lane he pointed suddenly to the sky.

‘Ooh! Look! A helicopter’.

Grape turned her eyes to the aircraft which probably belonged to the Milton’s. She then glanced down at Peanuts left hand which had had her curious for a while now.
He brought an extra leash but wasn’t keeping it in his backpack. ‘Hey Peanut, are we meeting someone?’.

‘Well I didn’t find you in the oven this morning, and that pointed to just one thing’ said Peanut. ‘So what time is Res getting here?’.

Grape’s cheeks broke out in a strong shade of maroon.

‘H-How is that the only explanation!?’ she asked.

Peanut pointed to her face. ‘You kind of put it out there when you came downstairs wearing Cub Claw, the official perfume worn by Princess Illaya’.

‘Well you’ve only sniffed out two of those three,’ she said, crossing her arms, ‘even the Starship Enterprise couldn’t get him here till at least tomorrow. He hasn’t called to say when he’s coming. So leave it alone’.

‘Alright, I know when I’m wrong. But just to tell you...I don’t mind if you two have plans, if you want an outside opinion, between him and…’.

A human crossed his sympathetic eye line. One wearing a blue shirt and shorts combo with a tan satchel strapped around his shoulders.

Peanut sprung gaily off screen.

‘MAILMAN!!!’.

‘YAAAAA!!!’ cried the human running for his life.

Grape rolled her eyes and crossed the street as the light turned green.
…..
……….
Sometimes she wished he wore a muzzle….
…..
……….
But he knows her like a cat knows yarn….
…..
……….
Ok….Res is….well….he is what he is….
…..
….......
A low breeze and the deafening whir of the helicopter filled the lonely lane.

She looked up to watch it leave. As it crossed her path…

Someone in a bright yellow uniform jumped out. After a forward roll the jumper pulled a chord, opening their parachute a hundred feet from the ground. The short stranger landed but steps from where she was standing and pulled off his helmet before the parachute touched the ground.

‘Wassup!’ yelled Res, still talking at on flight volume, ‘I know it’s kinda messy, but my mom insisted. It means now I can stay a few more days….isn’t that awesome…’.

Grape’s only response was a mummified gawk.

‘So yea…’ Res yelled, scratching his head, totally uncomfortable, ‘I’m here now’.

‘RES!’ cried Peanut as he pounced and hugged Res off his feet.
Spike - "Seriously, a talking Dog is the weird thing about all this"

Me - "Not at all, the fact that you're a dog and not a lizard is much weirder"
User avatar
JohnWillow
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: A treehouse atop a hill

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by JohnWillow »

Alt Text – “Could you call my pilot…I think I’ve fractured a rib....sorry”
Spike - "Seriously, a talking Dog is the weird thing about all this"

Me - "Not at all, the fact that you're a dog and not a lizard is much weirder"
User avatar
EvanAierkan
Posts: 221
Joined: Fri Dec 03, 2010 5:45 am
Location: Up north

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by EvanAierkan »

What's the name for the GrapexRes shipping? Grapes? Idk, waiting for updates.
Image
User avatar
Skruffy
Posts: 66
Joined: Mon May 02, 2011 5:58 pm

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by Skruffy »

Grapres, maybe.
User avatar
JohnWillow
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: A treehouse atop a hill

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by JohnWillow »

I'm not sure either but I always figured it was Gres
Spike - "Seriously, a talking Dog is the weird thing about all this"

Me - "Not at all, the fact that you're a dog and not a lizard is much weirder"
User avatar
copper
Puppy Wrangler
Posts: 6362
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Location: Florida

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by copper »

It is Gapres, because her Fanfic's main character, which is mostly her, is named Gapre. :roll:

Great fic. Res coming out of a chopper... amazing. I did not know he had it in him~ :lol:
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image
User avatar
JohnWillow
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: A treehouse atop a hill

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by JohnWillow »

copper wrote: Res coming out of a chopper... amazing. I did not know he had it in him~ :lol:
The image of him falling out of the sky has been stuck in my head for ages. I always figured he had the money and if Grape was in trouble he'd want to be there as fast as possible. He might be socially awkward but I'll bet he has a few daring hobbies.
Spike - "Seriously, a talking Dog is the weird thing about all this"

Me - "Not at all, the fact that you're a dog and not a lizard is much weirder"
User avatar
JohnWillow
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: A treehouse atop a hill

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by JohnWillow »

Chapter 3 – Clash of the nerds


With all three of them helping to fold Res’s parachute was in his bag within minutes. He put away all his sky diving gear bar his helmet for obvious reasons which Peanut begged to let him try on…for obvious reasons.

‘Pew-Pew!’ Peanut yawped as he jumped from place to place making the gun sign.

Grape and Res stayed a few steps behind and talked amongst themselves while he role played.

‘There might be a lot of your fans here you know’ said Grape.

‘Don’t worry’ said Res. ‘I’ve kept a very low profile over the years. I doubt anyone will know me in a small town like this’.

‘Oh no!’ cried Peanut, standing dramatically, ‘Our bullets had no effect. If only there was a computer aboard their mother ship that works just like an earth computer, thus we could upload a virus and conveniently take down every last force field at once. AH! I’M GOIN DOWN! Tell my son…he’ll never be Ralph Macchio!’ and then he plopped dead on the sidewalk.

Res beamed brighter than the sun. ‘I really missed this guy’.

‘You can take him’ said Grape in a small voice, averting her eyes from the stares of perplexed citizens across the way. Unfortunately she had to put up with five more minutes of this before they reached the store.

The Clamopticon stood out like a sore thumb among the stretch of secluded stores. It was double the size of the others and a fantastic mural of comic book characters was painted over everything except the sign for its name and the usual do not do boards. At the front door stood a Labrador in a waistcoat whose nametag read: Bowser.

‘Hey guys, before you go in I need to make sure your claws are dull’ said Bowser reaching into his breast pocket for a nail file. ‘I’m sorry for this inconvenience but there’s a lot of valuable items inside’.

‘Fair enough’ said Grape, handing him her paw.

‘You don’t have to wear a leash either,’ said Bowser, filing away, ‘my dad owns the store, and he’s the only human that works here’.

‘Huh, my friend skipped over that part’ said Peanut raising an eyebrow.

‘Have fun browsing’ said Bowser when he’d finished his duty, opening the door to let them cross the threshold.

The first room held an array of boxed and positioned action figures and strategy board games ranging from Warhammer to Dungeons and Dragons. After a quick wander through the aisles they moved around the corner to a room where there were comic books and life size cardboard cut-outs of movie characters ranging from the fresh to the golden age.

As the polite dog out front said, 99% of the staff were the owner’s pets, and boy were they exotic. Past the bodies of paying customers the owner sat behind the checkout stall stroking the head of a komodo dragon. A capuchin monkey pulled a Stanley knife through the midriff of a brown box to uncover a treasure trove of One Piece volume 66. There was a modest café in a cut off room run by pigs and one very daunting python that slithered between the table legs. It was a regular zoo in here.

‘Do you know much about collectables?’ Peanut asked Res as he tried out a NERF gun.

‘Not a great deal,’ said Res, ‘I was really into card games but then I had, um…well other commitments, do you?’.

‘Comics are my thing, but I’ve read every one in here, twice over’.

‘Really, I don’t recall seeing any comics in your room, did you just start collecting?’.

‘No, I went through them while you were buying a sandwich’.

That might’ve cracked him up if they’d only just met but now that Res was a good friend to be told this caused a lot of mixed feelings.

‘By the way, did you see where Grape went?’ Peanut asked.

‘You know I actually didn’t’ said Res, looking over his shoulder.

They found her where they should have guessed. Admiring a life size statue of Lord Parnok.

‘Why my lord, to hold your spear while you wrestle the three eyed Gengasquash would most flatter me’ said Grape, lost in its eyes as she caressed its plastic bicep.

Peanut clapped his paws next to Grape’s ears but to no response.

‘Yep, she’s way out of our reach’ he said, turning to Res. ‘You can keep looking around if you like. I’ll keep watch in case she gets…weirder’.

‘Ok then’ said Res, and went elsewhere. A little later while pondering how practical Hulk gloves would be in everyday life he slipped over thoughts of his fan base, and trembled.

Down the hall he came across an arrow sign that read:


LIKE CARDS? MEETING NEW PEOPLE?
THEN COME DOWN TO THE BASEMENT AND GET YOUR GAME ON!!!



A deplorable reference but the room seemed worth a browse. He enquired about the location then worked his way across the tight graphic novel section. When he crossed to the other side an angel stood at the gates of heaven. And her name was Sabrina.

‘Hey there cutey cup’ she said with a hungry gaze, stuffing a strip of red paper into his collar. ‘You just take this here and thank me later’.

Res walked on with a fire around his eyes. Once he was a few steps down he whipped out the piece of paper she gave him. It was a free pass to the local zoo. He laughed. Of course it was.

He reached the bottom step and looked in. The room was lit by gargoyles holding torches, so not very well. A few steps away there were three rows of long stone benches where sat a great number of pets and human teens. He watched a few duels from afar and literally smelled the past. It reminded him of the money his Gram-Gram spent on cards to keep him happy. He was the best player back in his home town, but then his only opponent was a certain magical fox that probably threw a few games on purpose. Good times….

‘Res!’ someone from across the room said his name.

This wasn’t heaven after all.

‘Wow…Max!’ said Res with the greatest of simpers.

Max stood up for a better view. After what was like a minute of accusatory staring he started laughing. ‘My, my gosh…’ throwing up his paws, ‘what, you’re here!’.

‘Yea!’ said Res, shrugging nervously.

‘Well join us why don’t you’.

Why not…it was a while before Geppetto saw land.

Res approached the empty space next to Max’s gaming buddy. An orange cat with freckles.

‘This is Marvin’ said Max, gesturing across the bench.

Marvin and Res shook paws, greeted each other and then Res sat down.

‘Battle of the Pridelands!’ said Res, noticing the cards on the table.

‘Yea, have you ever played?’ asked Marvin.

‘I used to,’ said Res, ‘who’s….’.

Max cut him down with a chainsaw.

‘YOU PLAY!’ he exclaimed with jazz paws, ‘The things we learn. Marvin, why don’t you give Res your deck and go for some air. Maybe get that frozen yoghurt you owe me!’.

‘I’m not out of essence’ said Marvin.

Max slapped down a telesm card. ‘Call of the Wild brings King Goke back to my savannah plane. Then I play Heeshan’s Javelin. Vanilla! Mush!’.

Marvin scrutinized the board but Max called it right. He sighed and left.

Max improved his posture, resting his head on his knuckles. ‘That’s a nice bag’.

‘It’s actually a parachute. I had to come by helicopter’.

‘A chopper. Neat. I walked here. I walk everywhere. That’s all I can afford’.

‘Grape’s upstairs’.

‘Imagine that!’.

Res would be here for hours if he tried to get Max to cool his jets. He’d rather not learn how they broke up in a situation where misjudgements would be made out of fury, and if he had any hope of saving Grape and himself a storm of clichés, tears and half-baked excuses the only way out was winning this game. To keep the plot moving forward he showed his zoo pass. ‘I see one sticking out of your collar. Something tells me there’s only two of these’.

‘Very perceptive’ said Max. He put the loose cards back into his deck and shuffled while he spoke. ‘They’re only valid till the end of tomorrow but she has to cover for her friend Joanie. Marvin didn’t want to go’.

Res put his pass on the table. ‘How much else do you want?’.

‘Well…if I am the winner of our game…you’ll convince Grape to throw herself at my doorstep, and when I decide to let her in she’ll be treated to some skilfully gentle wooing, followed by a lovely trip to the zoo’.

‘Alright, and if I win I want you to leave us well alone and part with whatever corroborates the futility of me leaving this seat. If that’s not English enough I’m saying I want you to destroy any pictures or letters which can reveal the true me’.

‘Done!’.

Res took a minute to familiarize himself with the cards. He shuffled and before they drew their hands they played rock, paper, scissors, lizard, spock to see who goes first.

Max won the exchange with spock beating lizard. He drew five cards, studied them, smirked and picked up a sixth.

‘I play the telesm card “Deadly Nature” which allows me to summon up to four beasts as long as they belong to separate element squares. I summon “Rashop the Tiger” to my savannah. “Grish the Lava Snake” to my volcano. “Kodd the Vampire Trout” to my river. And “Jagon the Wise Eagle” to the cloud kingdom. Finally I lay down a subterfuge card…..have fun with that’.

‘Nice work’ said Res, sitting cool as a cucumber. It was an incredible move, but he had one better. He picked up his sixth card and played it right away. ‘I throw down Jane the…’.

Max took the bait just like he thought.

‘Activate subterfuge. “Sempiternal Pit”. This card takes your warrior out of the game completely’.

Out of respect Res clapped his paws then wiped his throwaway off the board. ‘In that case I play “Pittance” which allows me to draw five cards and discard four. The four I discard are Huvot, Buvot, Yavot and Yevot of the bloody night. When either of these cards are discarded from my hand to the elephant’s graveyard they get special summoned to my cavern squares. And now I use their second ability. By discarding another four cards I can destroy up to four of your beasts. I then attack your village taking you down to three hundred essence points. You shouldn’t even bother drawing because I’m holding “Zenthan’s Offering” which sacrifices one of my beasts and damages you with the value of their attack points’.

Max smiled out of half his mouth. ‘Well done, you may leave in peace’. He handed over his pass. ‘Have fun, you couple of crazy kitties’.

Res could say anything here, something to bring order to the situation but he didn’t linger. He almost collapsed for relief on his way upstairs. There was nothing left to worry about.

Marvin returned with Max’s frozen yoghurt a few minutes later.

‘It’s already over?’ he asked.

Max ingested a scoop of yoghurt. ‘The game…yes…the war…I can’t imagine why’.
Spike - "Seriously, a talking Dog is the weird thing about all this"

Me - "Not at all, the fact that you're a dog and not a lizard is much weirder"
User avatar
JohnWillow
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: A treehouse atop a hill

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by JohnWillow »

Alt Text – “This isn’t vanilla!”
Spike - "Seriously, a talking Dog is the weird thing about all this"

Me - "Not at all, the fact that you're a dog and not a lizard is much weirder"
User avatar
JohnWillow
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: A treehouse atop a hill

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by JohnWillow »

I don't feel like i've been giving this story my all. In my last story I paid closer attention to bodily behaviour during conversations but with this i've gone for a brisker approach. Heh, just like a writer to be his own worst critic.
Spike - "Seriously, a talking Dog is the weird thing about all this"

Me - "Not at all, the fact that you're a dog and not a lizard is much weirder"
User avatar
copper
Puppy Wrangler
Posts: 6362
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Location: Florida

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by copper »

Do you mind if people give criticism?

Hmm, Res one quite the hand, it seems. I loved all the references! Quite a few in this last update.

.... Grape has gone off the deep end. :roll:
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image
User avatar
JohnWillow
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: A treehouse atop a hill

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by JohnWillow »

I don't mind at all. I welcome anyones advice as I'd like to pursue writing and stage acting as a career and show you the best of my abilites. I just have this habit of misappropriately sharing thoughts about the quality of my work. I guess it's because I want to emulate such writers as Richard Adams, this story is obviously in a different style to his but I'd hope you'd get my point.
Spike - "Seriously, a talking Dog is the weird thing about all this"

Me - "Not at all, the fact that you're a dog and not a lizard is much weirder"
User avatar
Furryforever
Posts: 23
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2012 11:32 am

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by Furryforever »

Loved the references as well as the story. Your an excellent writer and you shouldn't be to harsh on yourself with criticism. I personally enjoy this thoroughly.
User avatar
JohnWillow
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: A treehouse atop a hill

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by JohnWillow »

Thanks man....or gal

I hope I can continue to please.
Spike - "Seriously, a talking Dog is the weird thing about all this"

Me - "Not at all, the fact that you're a dog and not a lizard is much weirder"
User avatar
JohnWillow
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: A treehouse atop a hill

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by JohnWillow »

Chapter 4 – All’s fair in love and war


Grape certainly had a good time at the store. She may be the first cat that’s ever been put to sleep by delusion. It took a great deal of trial and error to pry her from the statue without wrecking it. The staff where very nice about the whole thing and didn’t ask they pay for the damages. With Grape piggybacking Peanut and Res left the store, walked straight home and up to her room.

‘Hefff!’ exhaled Peanut as he rolled his torso. He made for the door. ‘We haven’t made up a bed for you yet but I could clear out a drawer in my room if you need a place for your things’.

‘Thanks, but I didn’t really bring that much…’ said Res, making himself a seat at the end of Grape’s bed. ‘I’m gonna drop my mom an email, so, if I’m not so social for a couple of minutes then I’m very sorry’.

‘It’s cool. If you’re not too tired feel free to stop by my room. Knock hard because I’ll have a game going’.

‘Alright,’ said Res with a salute, ‘I’ll get back to you’.

Peanut then closed the door and let him get on with things.

Res tapped Grape with his paw.

‘Do you want to ask my mom anything?’.

‘Does she know the Men in Black?’ asked Grape, doubled over her pillow.

‘She wouldn’t be able to tell a soul if she was’.

Grape let out a guttural cry.

Res sighed. ‘You know I did something much more embarrassing once. I went in for this county fair talent contest dressed as the Grinch and half an hour before this I had had a pretty big chilli dog. And when I…’.

Mental note…upchuck stories are never to be told.

Peanut was playing Super Smash Bros Brawl when Res knocked.

‘Come on in’ he said.

Res entered and sat in the beanbag next to Peanut’s. He didn’t say any greeting till Mario was done beating the stuffing out of Fox McCloud.

As the battle credits commenced Peanut reached for the other controller without taking his eyes off the screen. ‘Would you like to play?’ he asked.

‘No thank you’ said Res. He tackled his email instead.

Peanut sat back up and started a new game as Link versus Pikachu. ‘She kick you out?’.

‘Yep’.

‘Sucks…!’.

The battle began.

Res had a hard time staying awake as he typed. He didn’t manage to sleep much on the flight here, there was so much to concentrate on earlier that his batteries kept running when they shouldn’t. It was also difficult to concentrate when he came to write that everything was going fine as that digressed his thinking towards Grape and her situation. After multiple edits he decided - to heck with it – and decided some things were more important.

‘Gah, why do they even make characters that short!’ Peanut complained.

The new round started.

A few punches in Res finally said it.

‘I encountered Max at the store’.

Peanut froze along with the game. After a long time he stood up. ‘Excuse me a minute’. And in that minute he managed to shove six doorstops, a dozen pillows and his book shelf in front of his bedroom door. ‘Whew, ok, that should do it…but in the event we need to use the window you’ll find the schedule for a bus that’ll take us across Texas for six bucks a pop. So what did you say to each other?’.

‘We didn’t say much at all…’ said Res, struggling to comprehend the need for all that hustle and bustle. ‘He forced me to play a card game down in the basement, which I won in the end. But it pretty much started and ended with the duel. I wasn’t told anything incriminating but if I’d been there any longer he’d have said something really dumb out of anger’.

‘I wouldn’t put that sort of thing past him. I’m sorry we weren’t around’.

‘I’m sorry to put this on you but there’s no way I can ask Grape without upsetting her…did their break-up have something to do with me?’.

‘Yea, but you were just a pebble in the ocean’ said Peanut. ‘Things started to get crazy after you came over for New Years. I wasn’t aware you were coming, and because you were trying not to think about Pridelands she didn’t tell Max either. But one time when he came over he found the video of you two making faces to the webcam. He went plain loco about it and they ended up not spending valentines together. About a week later he came over with some chocolate catnip roses and an apology poem. Their relationship slowly mended itself, there were some ugly moments and then something occurred a few weeks ago. I went with Grape to a midnight premiere of Pridelands 2 and we totally forgot to invite Max, we didn’t even spare a quarter to call him, the worst part is he was sitting in the row behind us’.

‘Yowch!’ Res exclaimed.

‘Deep yowch!’.

‘And that’s how it all ended?’.

‘Uhuh. They haven’t spoken since that night. Don’t get silly over it or nothing, we’ve all played a small part in this. It ended because it was meant to end. I wouldn’t take on any shame’.

‘I’m really happy you could tell me’.

Res yawned hard and prepared for a well-earned rest. It was so good to know there was no one thing that tore them apart. He didn’t want to have to not like Max on Grape’s account. This morning was only the second time he and Max had met in person and he liked the cat he’d read about. As long as Max stuck to his end of their deal he could count the card game as no more than him lashing out during a bitter period of adjustment. ‘Would you mind if I slept here a while?’ he asked Peanut.

‘Not at all’ said Peanut. ‘I’ll even turn down the volume’.

‘Thanks. Hey, just one mo...aauuuugh…sorry…’. He refrained from going into his question as something curious had befallen the conversation.

Peanut was sitting still with pricked up ears. A moment later his bedroom door opened towards the hall. He had overlooked that detail.

Grape had barely said his name when Peanut made a start for Texas. ‘Why’s all this stuff in front of the door?’.

‘He was, uh, you know, making room for me’ said Res in a loud voice to cover the sound of the window opening. ‘And now he’s just downstairs, I think, making a sandwich’.

The fear of being found out actually worked in his favour. He sunk a tad more into his beanbag chair right as she got over the obstacles and attained eye contact with him. It was enough to suggest his cowering was because she’d yelled at him. And she hated herself for that.

An entire conversation passed between them with just this stare.

They forgave and forgot.

She came over and joined him on the beanbag.

He wrapped her in friendship’s soft forgiving arms.

A state of half sleep come over them both. He asked her one thing before he couldn’t.

‘Do you like the zoo?’.

*

Patience my darling…when they come out….that is when we play….when we feed…the taste may disappoint but revenge is a hearty meal…once we consume the criminal grip of the past will no longer pull our heads...she thinks us the pebble on the mountain…we are not shed fur....the dust the carpet traps under their dancing feet...no…we shall write the final chapter....our soliloquy will embellish us…all cats and dogs shall weep….

In another few minutes the front door of the Sandwich house opened and the sinners took their seats in the family car….the engine purred as the car
rolled out of the driveway with open windows….fare.…well…….no……you shan’t……

Max lay down his binoculars, stiff from sitting in the tangled bones of the tree’s canopy since dawn….we strike my precious….

‘Excellent!!’ he said, ‘All I need now is a fool proof plan to get inside’.

….8 minutes later…


‘Hey Peanut! I think I left my one of my books in Grape’s room’.
‘Ok, come on in’.


….2 minutes and 38 seconds later…


‘YES!! With his laptop in my control, his demise shall be global!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!’.

‘Fresh baked cookies!!’ Peanut announced as he entered the room.

‘Oooh!’ said Max, choosing his favourite from the tray, ‘Thank you’.
Spike - "Seriously, a talking Dog is the weird thing about all this"

Me - "Not at all, the fact that you're a dog and not a lizard is much weirder"
User avatar
JohnWillow
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: A treehouse atop a hill

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by JohnWillow »

Alt Text – “He shall crumble like this sugarific treat. Mwahahahahaaaa!!!”
“Are you…talking to me?”
Spike - "Seriously, a talking Dog is the weird thing about all this"

Me - "Not at all, the fact that you're a dog and not a lizard is much weirder"
User avatar
Furryforever
Posts: 23
Joined: Sun Jun 17, 2012 11:32 am

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by Furryforever »

Wow seeing just this of max in the story (the card game and laptop stealing) you can tell he's seriously gone of the deep end about res and grape.
User avatar
JohnWillow
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Nov 06, 2011 9:29 pm
Location: A treehouse atop a hill

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by JohnWillow »

Yea, I always figured Max would be a little messed up after ending things with Sabrina.
Spike - "Seriously, a talking Dog is the weird thing about all this"

Me - "Not at all, the fact that you're a dog and not a lizard is much weirder"
User avatar
copper
Puppy Wrangler
Posts: 6362
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Location: Florida

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by copper »

Hmm, well this is definitely interesting. You have the Peanut and Res friendship dialogue down pat. :lol:

Grape is strong. Peanut is right to fear her.

So Max has become THE villain. I hope he knows what he is doing. It is not wise to mess with Millionaires.
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image
Big Fan
Posts: 80
Joined: Thu Jan 20, 2011 10:44 pm

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by Big Fan »

copper wrote:Hmm, well this is definitely interesting. You have the Peanut and Res friendship dialogue down pat. :lol:

Grape is strong. Peanut is right to fear her.

So Max has become THE villain. I hope he knows what he is doing. It is not wise to mess with Millionaires.
Considering Tuneski's advice about using power sparingly, I doubt Res is going to be using his money that much for a personal vendetta. There's also his personality to take into account. I'm pretty sure his transformation during the game was due to the confidence he gained from being in his element. He just seems to nice to use his money in such a way.
Last edited by Big Fan on Mon Jun 25, 2012 10:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.
User avatar
copper
Puppy Wrangler
Posts: 6362
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Location: Florida

Re: Planet of the Pridelands - The Auburn King

Post by copper »

Oh I do not mean he would go out and try to hurt Max, I am saying if that Max tried to expose him, his mother, and Grape to harm, he would find the courage to use his resources to stop Max... everyone has that streak in them to a certain degree.
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image
Locked