Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by ReCreate »

Dean wrote:
ReCreate wrote:Same here but... That post is not whole chapter is it? :roll:
Of course not. :) There is a lot to do and I haven't even revealed who Shaun's father is yet. :P
Oh. Okay. :)
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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Ebly »

Sinder wrote:you are such a liar
am not
I was going to make a joke but then I did.

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Buckdida »

HEY! You updated again! Why do you keep stealthing these?!

Oh, and I'll get to your PM soon. I've been a little busy lately...
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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Dean »

Buckdida wrote:HEY! You updated again! Why do you keep stealthing these?!

Oh, and I'll get to your PM soon. I've been a little busy lately...
Hehe :P Not so much as stealthing, just trying to keep clean. I don't want to fill my thread with shout outs saying I updated. :P Unlike most fanfics here, I'd probably be saying it a lot since it's the longest one in the forums. :P

Thanks Buck, but like I said, take your time. :) I don't mind. :)

Also, I'm ending the story today, finally scene is already more than half way through so check back later. :)

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Teh Brawler »

Aw, poor Pete. :P
On the other hand, I CAN'T WAIT
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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Dean »

Now that the story has finally ended, I'd like to say goodbye. For now.

Send off:

To be completely honest, I love rereading your reviews. I personally enjoy the fact that people actually like what I'm doing. Do understand that, though writing may not be new to me, to gain such appreciation for my work is. People have liked my work before but you guys make that feeling of a job well done so much better and all the more satisfying.

I'd personally like to thank Teh Brawler, Ebly, Alex, caesalson, Buckdida, Two_Twig, ArgentFlame, caelei, Icharus, Zlashdrive, Jack, GameCobra, ReCreate, ctcmjh, all those who have read but not posted (you guys are still awesome and much appreciated :D ) and especially The Game (for her lasting support), James319 (who introduced me to Housepets), and Sinder (for his amazing work and eventual teachings), for all accepting me into the Housepets community and keeping me going for the story's duration. You guys are great! :)

I wish I could walk up to you in person, shake your hand, and maybe laugh a little on how things have been in this community. It's a positive feel, all too wonderous and euphoric to give up. This place has provided me with a spark in my heart. A feel of joy that seems to spring from an honest people that are so hard to find in this messed up world. I'm lucky to have found it, and am more than happy to stay till it's departure.

And though some people will probably be reading this while I am no longer here for a time, I still enjoy the sight of the rising Views count. It may seem egotistic of this pleasure but I have an honest joy in my heart that springs from the feeling of acceptance. Thank you all again, and special thanks to Rick for activating my account, creating the world of Housepets we know and love, and resparking my inner writer with his striking story.

I will be leaving the forums for a while to gather my thoughts and focus on other things but rest assured that I will come back. Hopefully, when I do, I'll be meeting new faces here. :)

It's been a great ride, and I'm sure we'll meet again, friends. :)

~Dean
Last edited by Dean on Mon May 17, 2010 8:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Teh Brawler »

Good luck in life, man. It was amazing reading your stuff, and I'm sure that this is just the start for you. However, I do have to make one comment before you go.
Dean wrote:The Game (for his lasting support)
Invert that pronoun :lol:

Oh, and you will have made one member very happy when he reads the end. :D
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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Dean »

Teh Brawler wrote:Good luck in life, man. It was amazing reading your stuff, and I'm sure that this is just the start for you. However, I do have to make one comment before you go.
Dean wrote:The Game (for his lasting support)
Invert that pronoun :lol:

Oh, and you will have made one member very happy when he reads the end. :D
Sorry 'bout that :P I've gotten accustomed to that since the internet doesn't usually give a face. :P

And thanks again Brawler :)

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Ebly »

Ewwww, grape/peanut. *giggles*

It's a shame you're taking a break, but understandable. See you later, and hopefully when you come back you'll post in more than just this one topic, heehee.
I was going to make a joke but then I did.

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Two_Twig »

It's been a blast reading your story Dean, hope you return soon, and have a great one :D
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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by IceKitsune »

Ok I have to say this first because I know some people are going to flame me but I really did like this story It was very well written. The major problem is that the whole thing hinges on a Deus ex Machina and every one in the story being very stupid and unobservant aka an Idiot Plot. Its just poorly plotted its well written but that's about it a lot of that has to do with you not picking out a father for Dayshaun at the beginning. Everyone in the town should have figured out who the father was when Grape came back from being away with Peanut for 3 Months it should have been obvious to anyone with a brain. Not to mention that his ears flop and are longer then normal. I can forgive the Deus ex Machina but not the Idiot Plot I'm sorry I'm not insulting you so please don't take it that way it just this is how I feel about it.

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Tiggy »

You should not feel sorry for the way you feel, IceK, even if it may seem harsh to the other part. And Dean, this was VERY entertaining to read, I even had tears in me eyes :3 Thank you alot Dean. <3
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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Dean »

IceKitsune wrote:Ok I have to say this first because I know some people are going to flame me but I really did like this story It was very well written. The major problem is that the whole thing hinges on a Deus ex Machina and every one in the story being very stupid and unobservant aka an Idiot Plot. Its just poorly plotted its well written but that's about it a lot of that has to do with you not picking out a father for Dayshaun at the beginning. Everyone in the town should have figured out who the father was when Grape came back from being away with Peanut for 3 Months it should have been obvious to anyone with a brain. Not to mention that his ears flop and are longer then normal. I can forgive the Deus ex Machina but not the Idiot Plot I'm sorry I'm not insulting you so please don't take it that way it just this is how I feel about it.

It's quite alright, really. :P I actually just put in the ear thing for fun, it wasn't there for the intention of indicating "part dog". I just wanted her to get a reason to tickle Shaun in the first place.

Just to note, I did in fact pick a father for Dayshaun from the very beginning.

Also, the three months plot has it's own reasons. Grape was confused herself at the pregnancy because the "something" with both possible fathers happened at close times plus she disappeared for 3 months (also note that she found out only when she came back but found signs of it but shrugged it off on sooner times. She also gave birth much after her return to Bablylon). Peanut came back after 2 months because of something that will be explained. There's a lot I plotted out but couldn't mention because it seemed to interrupt the story. Sinder taught me that I seemed to draw the eye away with "purple prose" and that bothered me as I was driven to correct. I also took into consideration, and trust me this took a lot of time to think that part through, that pets don't have as specific a pregnancy time line as the norm being it such a different world from ours with extended lifespans and the like.

In my spare time, which I now have a lot of it being Summer for me, I tend to think and sometimes over think everything so that's how I come up with many of my ideas but I tend to take everything in consideration that it slowly becomes complicated and sometimes hard to digress on my own side. :P

So, as you can see, there's much to be explained.

So don't worry, IceKitsune, :) I actually appreciate the fact that you've managed to speak out. I am driven to improve, correct my flaws as much as I can. :) So if you do see that my corrections don't suit or satisfy, or even any other mistakes this story has, tell me. :)
Last edited by Dean on Tue May 18, 2010 5:11 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Dean »

Ebly wrote:Ewwww, grape/peanut. *giggles*

It's a shame you're taking a break, but understandable. See you later, and hopefully when you come back you'll post in more than just this one topic, heehee.
Thanks Ebly, it's been great knowing you. :) But I remained shy and flustered so don't count on me trying to make too much conversation, but I will make more topics, just less replies elsewhere :P
Two_Twig wrote:It's been a blast reading your story Dean, hope you return soon, and have a great one :D
You too Two_Twig. I've actually been really anxious to find out what happens on your story. :) I'm sorry I haven't commented on it, but I needed to keep my shipping a secret. :P Hope you understand. :)
Tobee wrote:You should not feel sorry for the way you feel, IceK, even if it may seem harsh to the other part. And Dean, this was VERY entertaining to read, I even had tears in me eyes :3 Thank you alot Dean. <3
You're right, IceKitsune shouldn't feel sorry about how he/she feels about this. I mean, it wasn't use to offend, simply to correct. And besides where would we be if we denied ourselves the freedom of speech due to fear? In fact, thanks IceKitsune. :)

And thanks, Tobee it feels great to have been able to touch someone like that. :) It's a really great feeling to have. :)

P.S. to everyone reading and wondering why I'm still here, I am going to disappear by the end of this week. Right now, I'd like to respond to my readers who I'd love to thank in person but replying is as close I can get. :)

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by IceKitsune »

Ok I had seemed to have forgotten somethings my bad. And now i remember why I thought that you hadn't picked a father from the beginning. When you where talking about not having reveled the father yet I (for whatever reason) thought that you had not come up with who it would be yet. Why I thought this I don't know because in retrospect it makes no sense at all. I also made the assumption of the gestation periods thing so that screwed me up a bit. I really should have re-read the story before posting but oh well nothing I can do about it now. By the way I'm a guy.

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Dean »

IceKitsune wrote:Ok I had seemed to have forgotten somethings my bad. And now i remember why I thought that you hadn't picked a father from the beginning. When you where talking about not having reveled the father yet I (for whatever reason) thought that you had not come up with who it would be yet. Why I thought this I don't know because in retrospect it makes no sense at all. I also made the assumption of the gestation periods thing so that screwed me up a bit. I really should have re-read the story before posting but oh well nothing I can do about it now. By the way I'm a guy.
S'okay. :P It gets confusing for a while since I tend to forget a few things myself and I rethink in a quite spot on my plot ideas. :P But anyway, thanks for speaking out and thanks for reading. :)

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by ctcmjh »

Great job Dean. Great job.
Ebly wrote:Ewwww, grape/peanut. *giggles*
This

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Dean »

ctcmjh wrote:Great job Dean. Great job.
Ebly wrote:Ewwww, grape/peanut. *giggles*
This
Thanks ctcmjh, :) I appreciate it. :) Though I did suspect you were a Max/Grape, though. :P

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by ctcmjh »

Dean wrote:Thanks ctcmjh, :) I appreciate it. :) Though I did suspect you were a Max/Grape, though. :P
Yeah, I'm a big Max/Grape fan, as well as Peanut/Tarot, but I don't hate the Peanut/Grape pairing :D

And you're welcome! It was a pleasure reading this story!

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Two_Twig »

Dean wrote:
Two_Twig wrote:It's been a blast reading your story Dean, hope you return soon, and have a great one :D
You too Two_Twig. I've actually been really anxious to find out what happens on your story. :) I'm sorry I haven't commented on it, but I needed to keep my shipping a secret. :P Hope you understand. :)
Completely, I'll be looking forward to your input :D
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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by ReCreate »

wait what? the story is over? where was the last chapter?
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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by ReCreate »

nevermind saw the update on the previous page.

this is amazing.
just amazing and epic.
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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Dean »

ReCreate wrote:nevermind saw the update on the previous page.

this is amazing.
just amazing and epic.
Hehe, thanks ReCreate :P

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Sinder »

Image

Just for you, Dean.

GRAAAAAPE
ImageImage
ImageImage

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by IceKitsune »

:lol: Oh my that is just hilarious thanks I'm saving that.

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Cerberusx »

Ok, so I've read chapter 1, butI can't understand the plot/story line. What is going on? And I don't want to read anymore, for the fact that I don't read things that leaves me with a question mark over my head. So can someond explain what is going on?
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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Teh Brawler »

Cerberusx wrote:Ok, so I've read chapter 1, butI can't understand the plot/story line. What is going on? And I don't want to read anymore, for the fact that I don't read things that leaves me with a question mark over my head. So can someond explain what is going on?
It's a futuristic setting, but the entirety of what's happening isn't explained until later.
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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by The Game »

]Wait...waitwaitwaitwait,wait. It's over?? Wha....waht?? that was not expected.....

Dean, I really liked this story. I admit it was confusing at times, but when it was understandable I loved it. Some people may say that it was 'bad', or 'weird' or 'it made no sense' but I don't agree with them, and i will take a bazooka on those people. :lol:
I know you probably won't see this, but so everyone knows, i give this story 4 1/2 stars. (the other half, cuz of the confusing places).
I hope you keep writing, Dean. :P
Cerberusx wrote:Ok, so I've read chapter 1, butI can't understand the plot/story line. What is going on? And I don't want to read anymore, for the fact that I don't read things that leaves me with a question mark over my head. So can someond explain what is going on?
We all figured it out, and it's really not that hard. read it slower and try not to skip, then you should understand.

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Dean »

Sinder wrote:
Just for you, Dean.

GRAAAAAPE
Haha! Thanks Sinder. :P
The Game wrote:]Wait...waitwaitwaitwait,wait. It's over?? Wha....waht?? that was not expected.....

Dean, I really liked this story. I admit it was confusing at times, but when it was understandable I loved it. Some people may say that it was 'bad', or 'weird' or 'it made no sense' but I don't agree with them, and i will take a bazooka on those people. :lol:
I know you probably won't see this, but so everyone knows, i give this story 4 1/2 stars. (the other half, cuz of the confusing places).
I hope you keep writing, Dean. :P
Thanks Game, :) I really appreciate your um.... appreciation. :P I owe you a great deal of gratitude. :) You really helped out with keeping me going.

Although, I would really like to know what parts are confusing? I know the story has it's flaws and I really appreciate it if they were pointed out.

People comment, saying they love it. But I know I have a lot more to learn and there are flaws that are out there, and I'm pretty sure there are lot more than I think there are. (Even aside from some grammatical)

So tell me what you see is wrong. I'd really like to know what I need to improve on.

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Jack »

why did i forget to finish this??!?!?!?!?!?!? it was beautiful!!!! one of the best stories i have ever read! im sorry dean for not commenting! i had to leave the forum a bit for tests and all that other stuff!

*sniff* *sniff* this story... *sniff* is absolutely, the best fanfic i have ever read! and i even dare to say that it is better then some of the published books i've read!

dean, you are great!

EDIT: oh! and here is what i think about it in more detail:

the story is well thought out, the plot is great, every scenery is so beautifully described that you can actually get a very clear view of everything in it and to top it all off, PEANUT IS THE FATHER!!!

i love it!
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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Dean »

Jack wrote:why did i forget to finish this??!?!?!?!?!?!? it was beautiful!!!! one of the best stories i have ever read! im sorry dean for not commenting! i had to leave the forum a bit for tests and all that other stuff!

*sniff* *sniff* this story... *sniff* is absolutely, the best fanfic i have ever read! and i even dare to say that it is better then some of the published books i've read!

dean, you are great!

EDIT: oh! and here is what i think about it in more detail:

the story is well thought out, the plot is great, every scenery is so beautifully described that you can actually get a very clear view of everything in it and to top it all off, PEANUT IS THE FATHER!!!

i love it!
Thanks Jack, I appreciate it. :)

You've been great to have. :) And thanks again, you really helped me out. :)

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Jack »

Dean wrote:
Jack wrote:why did i forget to finish this??!?!?!?!?!?!? it was beautiful!!!! one of the best stories i have ever read! im sorry dean for not commenting! i had to leave the forum a bit for tests and all that other stuff!

*sniff* *sniff* this story... *sniff* is absolutely, the best fanfic i have ever read! and i even dare to say that it is better then some of the published books i've read!

dean, you are great!

EDIT: oh! and here is what i think about it in more detail:

the story is well thought out, the plot is great, every scenery is so beautifully described that you can actually get a very clear view of everything in it and to top it all off, PEANUT IS THE FATHER!!!

i love it!
Thanks Jack, I appreciate it. :)

You've been great to have. :) And thanks again, you really helped me out. :)
DON"T LEAVE ME! DX
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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Dean »

Jack wrote:DON"T LEAVE ME! DX
I'm not leaving silly. :P I already did that. I just came back after a bit of recuperating and inspiration hunting. :)

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Jack »

oh :u
...
then im good. so what are you inspired for now? :3
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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Dean »

Jack wrote:oh :u
...
then im good. so what are you inspired for now? :3
Something... :P You're just gonna have to wait and see, friend. :)

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Jack »

oooooh! how exciting!
so dean, you gonna start posting in other places on the forums too? or possibly give me your msn? im good either way, but both will be better!
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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Dean »

Jack wrote:oooooh! how exciting!
so dean, you gonna start posting in other places on the forums too? or possibly give me your msn? im good either way, but both will be better!
I doubt I'll be posting elsewhere other than commenting on other fics. (Though I might end up being too shy to do even that for the most part)

But msn means Messenger, right? I'll be happy to PM it! :D Send me yours too, kay? :)

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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Jack »

Dean wrote:
Jack wrote:oooooh! how exciting!
so dean, you gonna start posting in other places on the forums too? or possibly give me your msn? im good either way, but both will be better!
I doubt I'll be posting elsewhere other than commenting on other fics. (Though I might end up being too shy to do even that for the most part)

But msn means Messenger, right? I'll be happy to PM it! :D Send me yours too, kay? :)
done!
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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Karl »

I was reading this fanfic for 3 days. And I must say that it's still stucked in my head.

You have a great ability to make a specific atmosphere during the plot. While I was reading, I've felt like I was inside of this story. Also it was playing on my emotions and to the last chapter it kept me curious of how all of this will end.

Also I'm fascinated of your language. I'm not comming from an english - speaking country, but I'm putting a lot of effort in mastering english language. But after I've seen your story, I've realized that I still need to study hard if I want to write as good as you in english.

You have a talent in writing. Also a very good imagination. Keep up the good work.
I'm a bookworm!

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Private Elliot
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Re: Dayshaun - Memories of the Mother (PG-13)

Post by Private Elliot »

i DONT UNDERSTAND THIS.
what IS IT ABOUT? DOES IT HAVE A PRELUDE?
hi I'm on steam that's it now

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