The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

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MilesKingford

The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by MilesKingford »

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musclecar326
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by musclecar326 »

Very interesting, i like it so far but wonder where you will go next. Not very much to criticize about, great job. Also I wonder what Pete has in store for her?
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by kavviyenta »

Shouldn't Pete have golden eyes? I supposed there would be the explanation to Pete's imprisonment during the time skip though that isn't important. You kinda need to replace the repetition of proper noun with similar wording.

Other than that, it's a nice start. A fox in BG, wonder where this will go?
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by MilesKingford »

kavviyenta wrote:Shouldn't Pete have golden eyes?
Should he? Appearances can be deceiving. You will have to wait and see what happens. I'm sure you will not be disappointed.

The next chapter will be ready by next week (the one I wrote got...misplaced, so I had to rewrite it again), so I apologise in advance to the delay.

Added: Also, thanks for the comments everyone, keep them coming.

MilesKingford

Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by copper »

A nice story, but you tend to mix the tenses a bit in the last part of both updates, suddenly switching from past to present.

I like it! Can't wait for the next update!
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by musclecar326 »

I like this story, it has a very unique character in it. And also good job Alex!
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by kavviyenta »

That's an interesting perspective in which Grape is only being indirectly manipulated.

Seems like Alex is going to be in for a surprise when Miles move in.

Typo alert! Gryphon is misspelled.
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by copper »

Good update! Just a couple of noticeable spelling and grammar issues, some flow issues, and you are still mixing your tenses.

And though I agree Pete is immoral, I believe you meant immortal. :)
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by KizerZin »

why every one hate on Bino? being Evil is really hard work!
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by MilesKingford »

Hi guys!

Now, due to the fact that Christmas is just round the corner, everything is getting rather... busy. So, I may not be able to continue posting weekly like I have been doing, sorry it took until now to say anything but as mentioned things are getting busy. Therefore, all I will be able to do until after Christmas is finish the current chapter, which should be ready by Thursday (though, I don't know whether it would be the last part of the chapter).

Though do not stop commenting! (And more comments would be really great, by the way, any criticism would make progress).

So, see you all Thursday!

To KizerZin - I don't hate Bino...

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by KizerZin »

what a HATE-filled update... so lovly, it brings joy to the darkest pasts of my Heart~
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by MilesKingford »

KizerZin wrote:what a HATE-filled update... so lovly, it brings joy to the darkest pasts of my Heart~
...I'm not sure what to say to that :?

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by Foxstar »

KizerZin wrote:why every one hate on Bino? being Evil is really hard work!
Because Bino is not evil, he's a socially maladjusted jerk. We have yet to really see a 'evil' character in Housepets, which given the fact that it's a funny animal strip and not Grimdark, that's perfectly fine.

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by MilesKingford »

Hello...

Sorry I have not posted the new update but I am working on it... hopefully I will be able to post it very soon, but... if not then I suppose it may be January when I start this all up again.

Once again, sorry.

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by copper »

Good chapter! Power corrupts. Always, it seems. Too bad no one had the sense to put Peanut in charge...

Um, it is throne, not thrown. a few other mistakes, but nothing glaring.

It is fine. This is a stressful time. We will wait for you.
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by copper »

Great update! Bino really knows how to kick a pet while it is down, huh? :lol:

Well, at least Alex tried. She can at least say that...
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by EvanAierkan »

How come so many writes Bino as a power hungry sociopath and forgets all his sympathetic qualities?
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by KizerZin »

HA HA Haaa! I love it~ It's Nice to see Bino WIN! Evil For The Win~
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by copper »

EvanAierkan wrote:How come so many writes Bino as a power hungry sociopath and forgets all his sympathetic qualities?

Because Bino makes a wonderful bad guy.

Remember Kids. Everyone loves a good villain.
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by MilesKingford »

copper wrote:Great update! Bino really knows how to kick a pet while it is down, huh? :lol:

Well, at least Alex tried. She can at least say that...
Glad you enjoyed it! Yeah, Bino (or at least my version of him) is a little unforgiving. But the rivalry between Alex and Bino is not over, it will surface again... someday.
EvanAierkan wrote:How come so many writes Bino as a power hungry sociopath and forgets all his sympathetic qualities?
Because you can make Bino into anything you want him to be, Rick gave us gold when he created him. Generally he seems to fit the role as the "enemy" but you could also make him into other things like "the guy with a bad attitude with a heart of gold" or "the guy with deep personal issues" and even "the guy your character has a complecated love/hate relationship with" as well as various other roles. It's whatever your imagination can make possible for him.
KizerZin wrote:HA HA Haaa! I love it~ It's Nice to see Bino WIN! Evil For The Win~
I thought you would like this one, Bino lost initially but he just doesn't stay down for long.

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by kavviyenta »

Amusing conflict, villain wins since this is pretty much a foregone conclusion to canon.

I'm sure we may see who this mysterious stray happen to be later on.

Peanut and Grape should at least know Fido and Sabrina's relationship already.
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by Karl »

MilesKingford wrote:
EvanAierkan wrote:How come so many writes Bino as a power hungry sociopath and forgets all his sympathetic qualities?
Because you can make Bino into anything you want him to be, Rick gave us gold when he created him. Generally he seems to fit the role as the "enemy" but you could also make him into other things like "the guy with a bad attitude with a heart of gold" or "the guy with deep personal issues" and even "the guy your character has a complecated love/hate relationship with" as well as various other roles. It's whatever your imagination can make possible for him.
That depends. You can interpret his character in many ways if you're trying to tell in your story about Housepets! universe in your way. But problem appears when you wanna stick with his canon personality.
If you go for following canon, it's hard to describe, or even show, Bino's personality, because it's very complicated and because of his attitude, hard to understand. Some think of him as a bad guy and they wish him harm whenever it is possible, some as a guy who has something reverse to sociopath, because of his desire for full attention of everyone. But actually, Bino is enigmatic actually as in comic he was mostly shown from one side. That's why most of people don't like it and there are only few fans of him who believe that there must be more about him than a jerk. But only those who have vivid imagination, or pehaps they feel they have similar personality, are able to see how complicated he is inside.

By the way, MilesKingford, I see that you're planning your fic pretty well. Because of your last update, I came to the point where I can't trust any character here. I cannot trust Bino because I'm not sure was he telling Alex truth or was just playing with her mind. And I cannot trust Alex either since she looked like she also started to care about her power too much. So all of this is really complicated now and I like this.
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by MilesKingford »

Karlos wrote:By the way, MilesKingford, I see that you're planning your fic pretty well. Because of your last update, I came to the point where I can't trust any character here. I cannot trust Bino because I'm not sure was he telling Alex truth or was just playing with her mind. And I cannot trust Alex either since she looked like she also started to care about her power too much. So all of this is really complicated now and I like this.
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it.
kavviyenta wrote:Amusing conflict, villain wins since this is pretty much a foregone conclusion to canon.

I'm sure we may see who this mysterious stray happen to be later on.

Peanut and Grape should at least know Fido and Sabrina's relationship already.
I have been thinking that perhaps making a split from Rick's storyline might make things more interesting, but I can only think of problems occurring if I did that. Still, something to think about if things become too predictable.

Sorry I haven't posted the latest yet, its already written up but it needs to be properly proof read and edited before posting but that should be done by Friday.

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by MilesKingford »

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by KizerZin »

"Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer" so Bino learned from Sun-tzu too? Excellent~ HA HA Haaa!
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by MilesKingford »

Well, it would seem that last update was not very popular. I had thought that introducing a more domestic theme might be popular but it does not seem to have paid off. :?
Oh, well, it doesn't matter. The next update will not be based in Babylon Gardens this time. I thought that it might be interesting to see another prospective to this world of humanoid animals and their place within human society.
I hope you will like it, and I will be busy over the weekend to finish it off. Just posted this to inform those that read my fanfiction as well as pique your interest.
See you all next week. ;)

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by copper »

To tell the truth, I didn't see the update for some reason! :lol:

It was nice. I saw a few spelling and grammatical issues, but nothing serious.

One thing... Sgt. Ralph, not Officer Ralph. His title is well known, so even if she never met him, she would probably know...
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by MilesKingford »

Hi to all my readers

In case you have not checked the "Announcements for leave and return" thread, I will no longer be visiting housepets for the next 8 weeks. I am sorry I was unable to finish the latest chapter before I had to leave. But, on the upside, at least I will have plenty of updates to post when I do come back. :lol:

Bye :)

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by copper »

See ya! Can't wait for you to come back. I hope it is only 8 weeks, and not months like last time... :?
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by MilesKingford »

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by copper »

Well, that was interesting. Wonder what the pearl does.

Poor Alex. I hope she gets over this part of her life before she does something to Miles.Bino would probably gladly help, if only to assert himself more. :roll:


Seems Harren needs to take a break and look around him. Maybe he'll find Babylon Gardens a bit more appealing if he does.
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by MilesKingford »

Hi guys

I am back again and I will now be able to update my fanfiction more regularly and respond to comments far sooner than before. I will have to go through my notes and see where I left off but I am sure I will have an update for you soon enough. And I will now be able to read through the other fanfictions which I could not do before.

Stay tuned.

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by kavviyenta »

We got a huge case of revenge before reason going on.

If Miles ever explains the fate of his previous pack and how he became alpha, that would solve the problem, but that would mean no further plot.
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