2.
Peanut Butter Sandwich presents a special episode of:
THE ADVENTURES OF SPOT (Superdog) and DOC & SMITH (the Eyes of the Law!)
Page 1
Panel 1: a large gathering of animals (crowd) fills the press room of the Auditorium. The chatter fills the air
Panel 2: Spot (Superdog) arrives on the podium. The crowd applauds. (Cheers! Hurrah!). Spot is accompanied by his girlfriend, Stripe.
Panel 3: The audience is silent. Spot starts to speak (the spotlight is on him). “My dear friends. As you know, in recent weeks, there have been growing rumors that my dear friend, Stripe, could actually be a cat...”
Panel 4: “And now I can say that those rumors are true.” (The dog ladies go X_X. Spot holds Stripe’s paws. They look in each other’s eyes.) “Stripe is a cat and I love her very much. And I want the whole world to know.”
Page 2
Panel 1: Stripe speaks to the crowd. “I’m sorry that Spot (Superdog) had to carry on this lie about me being a dog, but I wanted to spare him a great embarrassment. I hope you’ll all understand.”
Panel 2: a dog (journalist) raises a paw “Doggie Report. Your plan was well thought out. But what will you do now?”
Panel 3: Spot says, “We want to get married...”
Panel 4: a light from above envelops Stripe! (ZAP!) Everybody present is dazzled!
Page 3
Panel 1: Spot and the crowd are petrified (shock!). Stripe has disappeared! “STRIPE!” Shouts Spot (anguish).
Panel 2: At a hypersupermegasonic speed, Spot flies from the auditorium and up, up, up to the very sky limit.
Panel 3: Spot flies in the sky, faster than when he distributed the presents from Santa, but there is no trace of Stripe. (Despair
![Sad :(](./images/smilies/icon_e_sad.gif)
)
Panel 4: In the auditorium, standing in the back row, there are two familiar figures: a red striped tabby with a hat pulled down on his head (fedora) and a German shepherd with a holster attached to his shoulder. The cat is stroking his chin thoughtfully. “Dear Smith, it seems that things have just turned out interesting.”
---
Sanders House, 25 Laika Drive
“Gizelle?”
“Too much the indoor type.”
“Sandra?”
“Too young.”
“Maxine?”
“Dog-lover, remember?”
Grape, sprawling belly up on the hammock, scratched her head. “I’m out of eligible candidates. What about you two?”
The white-striped russet tabbies, Tibbets and Enola, sipped what remained of their root beer floats from their glasses. “Same,” Tibbets said. Then he crumpled up the straw and started playing with it, staring at it as if it was the most interesting object in the world. “I remembered Maxwell being less picky. Yet you, Grape, didn’t let any of our proposals pass.”
The lavender cat toyed with an apple she had taken from the tree. “Of course I didn’t: I know Max. We must find a girlfriend who can make him feel alive, and at the same time bear his concept of ‘fun’. I don’t think he had ever seriously wooed anyone, before me.”
“Wrong,” said Enola. “There were two, to tell the truth, although only one really picked up his interest.”
Grape’s ears are pricked. Oh-HO! “And who were they?” she asked casually. With the corner of her eye, she saw that Lucky and Felix, sitting against the tree, looked just as interested. After all, the Three Musketeers were in this mission together...
“His first and ‘true’ love is named Selene,” said Enola. “Does that ring a bell?”
Indeed it did: There was one and only pet with that name, in the Gardens. A thick-furred Persian, perfectly white from head to toe, and jet black on her back, as if a painter had decided to divide her body into two perfect halves. A Persian with two steel-gray eyes and an equally iron will... “Doubleface?” asked Grape. “Maxie wooed Doubleface? Doubleface the unapproachable?”
Selene belonged to the circle of the richest and most pampered pets, including the Fosters, but she also was not a weakling, as the scars on several daring males proved... However, that nickname had caught on almost instantly, although anyone with at least a neuron working would never pronounce it. Not one who wanted to keep on living.
Tibbets nodded. “Don’t be surprised that you didn’t know: If Selene had let such a scandal out, her pedigree would’ve become toilet paper in a moment, and Max would’ve been butchered overnight.”
“Being downgraded to plebeian would be worse than death itself, to her,” Enola added.
Grape gave the two cats a puzzled look. “And you, how come
you know? Their club is so exclusive that, in comparison, the Good Old Dogs club is a liberal den.” In fact, Selene’s Schrodinger Circle was composed exclusively of the neighborhood’s most precious cats. A bunch of the most snobbish and unapproachable creatures. The ‘plebeian’ cats hated them and lusted after them at the same time. A date with a member of the Schrodinger Circle was the highest point of honor.
And Maxwell made it to the
crème de la crème? “Wow,” said Grape. This was admirable, she must concede that to the rascal.
“We knew,” Enola was saying, “because I know a Schrodie, who loves to gossip just like Jeijan. By the way, she made it clear that if I spilled the beans to anyone else, I would wake up one day without my tail.”
Grape shook her head. “Don’t you worry about that. Even if I told it around, who’d believe me... Heck, I don’t believe it.”
“And you’re thinking of getting ‘em back together,” Lucky said.
Felix yawned. “This smells like big time mess.”
“Yup,” said the malamute, nodding solemnly. “The Musketeers implicated in secret plans to bring havoc to the social hierarchy.”
“They’ll tear us to pieces.”
“They’ll scorn us forever.”
Grape held out her paw to her old friends, and they placed their own over hers.
“So totally cool!” They said, all together.
“So what’s the plan, Princess,” asked the dog.
Grape grinned mischievously. “To begin with, we must learn more about this ex relationship, but first… Enola, Tibbets, you spoke about another girlfriend of Max, before?”
Tibbets nodded. “Yup. It was Sabrina.”
Grape’s heart skipped a couple of beats. Her tail had puffed up to double its size. “You’re kidding,” she said.
Enola shook her head. “Nope. It was short-lived, but it was her who consoled Max out of his depression for losing Selene. Then they became friends, and then something more.” She winked. “We don’t know why they broke up, but it seems she couldn’t stand his guts. Max is not an easy guy to deal with, you must know that by now. What’s sure is, no one knows who Sabrina started to date after Max, if she started dating someone at all, that is.”
Grape hoped her expression didn’t betray what she knew. De facto, she and Peanut were the only ones to know the truth.
You’d be in for a surprise, folks!
A part of her was glad, and she felt less guilty for it, that it was over with the black cat. To test Sabrina to the breaking point must’ve been a feat even for that rascal’s standards!
---
Babylon Gardens Temporary Shelter for the Abandoned and the Ferals
“Welcome, Messrs. Highman,” Martin said, shaking hands with the young couple, standing at the gate.
Charles Highman’s grip was firm. “Mr. Foster.”
“Please, call me Martin. So the great day has come.” The shelter’s owner showed off his best smile.
Marcia sighed happily. “Oh yes! We are so excited!”
“Not like our ladies are. All medical examinations and vaccinations are in order. As you know, you are entitled to the first check-up and first boosters free, and one month of free food from Pets’r’Us.”
“I wanted to ask you, Mr. Foster: aren’t you afraid they might run away?” asked Marcia, seeing the animals were looking at them from inside the kennels, but with no door to close the facilities.
Martin shook his head. His smile faded a bit. “After what they suffered, that’s the least of their desires. They just want a family, or at least a place to stay in peace.”
“I said to your Miss Sunman that we admired the work you’re doing with the working site,” said Charles, changing topic. “You think big: Are you rebuilding a shelter, or putting up a residence?”
“Both, to be honest. The complex will host a series of pet-dedicated facilities: gym, school, hospital, mess hall, shed, heliport, internet point, real housing and not those sorry excuses for cages. Plus, the potential parents will be able to spend the night with their adoptees, to get to know them better, since the apartments can be arranged to host a human couple with two children.”
Charles was fazed and didn’t care to hide it. “Are you sure they will
want to leave for a family?”
Martin smiled and nodded. “Believe me, Mr. Highman:
nothing can compete with the desire to live with a family. But I must make sure that the animals who won’t find one will be able to spend the rest of their lives comfortably. And, comfortable, a cage is not… Ah, here we are.” They stopped at the entrance of the prefabricated housing that was the interview room. “Ready to become proud parents?”
The two newlyweds were beside themselves with joy. Martin opened the door for them, revealing the room where, sitting on a bench, Siber and Taiga already had their red collars on, the color chosen by their new parents during the first visit. Evelyn Sunman had spoken of love at first sight. And Martin felt the same way, seeing how the cats ran to hug their humans. He may had grown cynical and diffident, but he could tell the Highmans were not playing a role—
“Get away from those animals!” said a cold voice, followed by a canine snarl.
Martin spun around to see... “King? What the..?”
The corgi was staring at the Highmans as if they were demons from the deepest infernal circle. Keeping his blue eyes fixed on the humans, he said, “Martin, get them away from those cats. Now.”
Only once had Martin seen that dog so tense, his eyes burning with hatred, his fur standing on end, and his sharp fangs bared. On that occasion, King had recognized in Martin the elder brother of Joel Zechar-Foster, Fox’s kidnapper. King, who as far as everyone knew, was abducted himself, once.
King, under whose flesh and fur was hidden Joel. The man who knew all too well those two ‘nice’ persons… “You are from PETA,” he snarled. “Magda, William, how you doing, ol’ crooks?”
And it looked like those words had hit the mark, by the way the couple paled.
---
Peanut Butter Sandwich presents a special episode of:
THE ADVENTURES OF SPOT (Superdog) and DOC & SMITH (the Eyes of the Law!)
Page 4
Panel 1: ‘Professor Spot Dean of Creative Arts’. Professor Spot sits in a chair, stroking a picture of Stripe. He cries. “I miss you so much...”
Panel 2: ‘Knock Knock’ (door). Professor Spot is startled. “Maybe the kidnappers want to leave a ransom note!”
Panel 3: Professor Spot opens the door. On the threshold there are Doc and Smith themselves!
Panel 4: The cat, chewing his favorite Beef Jerky, says, “Hi... Spot (Superdog)!”
Page 5
Panel 1: Professor Spot stutters, “No, no, you’re wrong, I’m not Spot (Superdog)! I’m just a friend!”
Panel 2: Doc enters the room. “Yes, and you dated the same girl. Not very smart, for a hero of your reputation.”
Panel 3: Spot says, “I knew I couldn’t get away with it, with you two. Why are you here?”
Panel 4: Smith thumbs up and winks. “To help you find your girlfriend, what else!”
Page 6
Panel 1: ‘The secret lair of the Collarless Gang, in a secret location!’ The room is dark except for a cone of light (lamp) that illuminates the figure of Stripe, firmly tied to a chair
Panel 2: (Voiceover) “It’s been too long since last time we met, my dear Stripe.”
Panel 3: Stripe snorts. “And you have not lost your bad habits yet. Couldn’t you tie me less tightly, this time?”
Panel 4: (Voiceover) “My dear Stripe, what with the risks I took to take you away from that so-called hero, I can’t take any chances right now.”
Page 7
Panel 1: Stripe says, “Spot will save me and kick your butt into next Christmas, so what do you think you could do?”
Panel 2: A red eye glows ominously in the dark. “For starters, I want to ask for your paw, my dear.”
Panel 3: Stripe shrieks. “BARBARIAN! You want to cut my paws to show you have no respect for a lady?!”
Panel 4: The light turns on, revealing the figure of… THE CYBORG! (Du-Duuun!) “What are you thinking? I want to propose to you! What else could you ask a lover, after all, my beautiful cat?”
---
The Schrodinger circle reflected the status of its owners’ members.
Poe Plaza, where said pet owners lived, was the third most luxurious area after the Milton Residence and Foster Mansion. The houses were surrounded by gardens worth the cover of
House & Garden Magazine. The interiors matched the exterior: The neighbors competed in spending money to come up with the most intriguing and elegant solutions, although respecting the architectural limits.
The animals were not to be outdone. Poe Plaza was known as ‘Cat Area’. Although there wasn’t a single square meter where pets couldn’t walk on, there was a tacit agreement among the local residents to keep cats, considered cleaner and more reliable than dogs.
“When does this museum close?” Felix asked, looking around. There was a smell of clean everywhere, including the concrete they were walking on. Fox would have made a disturbing comparison with the community of Stepford.
“Never, unfortunately,” said Grape. “They say that some human, here, wants to secede from the Gardens.”
The Three Musketeers were on their own. Tibbets and Enola preferred to avoid Poe Plaza. Enola in particular didn’t want to risk getting caught for spilling the beans...
“Where are we going?” Lucky asked, instinctively keeping his voice low. There was an unnatural silence. Even birds and insects seemed afraid to disturb peace, here.
“To the only local pet willing to talk with us... Ah, there he is.” Grape waved her arm in greeting. “Hey, Baron!”
Baron Jeoffroi Amarri de LaMotte IV. An eight-year old harlequin Great Dane, one of the few who could physically look at Antares and Aldebaran straight in the eyes. Alas, a dog who had also been raised in the purest cotton wool. Probably the toughest thing that Baron had ever done in his life had been wagging his tail (with discretion, for goodness sake!) for his masters. He was a splendid specimen, but Pap the puppy could have taken him down with little effort.
“Hi, Grape Jelly,” said the dog when he saw who was calling. He left his doghouse where he was resting, and went to greet her at the driveway’s gate. “Who are your friends?” With his neighbors he had to appear snobbish and aloof, but with the cat who loved to tease said neighbors he felt at ease.
Grape introduced them to him. “We came here to find out if certain rumors are true,” she said, reaching almost to touch the wrought iron gate.
Baron shivered.
“Don’t touch it, please...” he whispered. Then, “And what would these rumors be about?”
“About Selene and a certain alley kitty.”
Baron’s eyes widened, threatening to pop out of their orbits. “You’re crazy!?” He hissed. “Lies, gossip, wives’ tales!”
Grape touched a bar of the gate with a finger. “Mmm-hmm, yeah?”
“Don’t touch it!” squeaked the poor dog. “Should Mom see just a hair on that thing…”
“Ohh, all this tension is making me nervous,” Grape went on, ignoring him, moving her finger up and down on the bar. “And you know that cats could let out a claw so easily when they become nervous.” And out came a claw, moving dangerously close to the metal.
“It’s all true!!” Baron whispered. “Truer than true! Now remove your finger, please!”
Grape put her paws behind her back, leaning forward to listen well. “I’m all ears.”
“That Maxwell courted her relentlessly for months. Every single night he came to sing a serenade, leave a dead rat underneath her window, and other very unpleasant things. Selene’s Mom protested several times with his Dad Jeff, but that diabolical cat never gave up.
“And you know what the craziest thing was? That pompous, arrogant cat was always waiting for him! Every night she waited at the window and wouldn’t leave until her loverboy left first. And finally, one day, when her parents were away, let him in! I saw it, I swear: After two hours, he leaves, happy as if he had won the lottery, moving about the garden as if he lived there. After then, and the whole next week, it’s her who leaves her place to date him outside the Plaza. Only Greta and I know, but now my life is in your paws. Greta is a gossip, but she never talked to the Circle’s members, oh, no, she values her life too much. Please, Grape, keep the secret, or I’ll be so dead that not even all of your nine lives would help me!”
Lucky and Felix saw Grape rubbing her chin in that familiar way that was always the prelude to a plan…
---
“Uncle Martin, what’s happening?” Siber asked. Until a second ago, she and her sister were about to have a family. And now they were watching the doors of a nightmare opening in front of them. Their stomach churned.
King, growling, kept watching Marcia Highman – no, the woman he had known in another life as Magda.
Martin had pushed Charles Highman, aka William, against the wall. The shelter’s owner looked ready to do much worse, but he was holding back not to frighten those poor creatures even more. “What’s happening, girls, is that according to King, these two ‘good guys’ are members of the People for Ethical Treatment of Animals movement, otherwise known as PETA. Their concept of ‘ethical treatment’ involves kidnapping pets and ‘setting them free’ in the wild.” His voice was nothing short than a wolfish growl.
The two cats were still confused.
King explained it for the man. “These humans take an animal from a shelter, a family, often against his or her will, and abandon them in the street. According to them, pets should all be ferals!”
The room fell into a dead silence, for a moment. No one moved a finger. Then Taiga, staring at the man first, then at the woman who was about to adopt her, murmured, “You wanted to abandon us...”
“NO,” cried Charles, ashen-faced. “Girl, no, really, we’d never do this to you! Let us explain—”
Instead, the two cats seemed to sag. It was like watching a puppet whose wires had been suddenly cut. Without saying a word, Siber leaned to her sister, who took her under her arm, and slowly both walked out the room. They had such a nice place to stay, but Martin had spoken the truth, earlier. The cats looked as if they were walking to the scaffold. The corgi made a step toward the woman, who stepped back. He didn’t think he could hate someone with such a passion, especially because he used to do such things! He used to be a… monster like these two!
Martin, without losing sight of Charles, turned on his Bluetooth earpiece. “Miss Sunman? Please take care of Siber and Taiga. We met some… problems. Please make sure no one enters this room until I say so, got it? Thank you.” He hung up, then pointed at a bench. Sit down, both of you. Now.”
The couple obeyed. Martin remained where he was. He seemed calmer, now, but King knew it was only the eye of the storm. These idiots where in for a nasty one if they tried to lie to him.
Martin raised a finger. “One reason. Give me one, one single excellent reason for not calling first an ambulance and then the Police, if you take my meaning.”
Charles held his wife’s hand. “One excellent reason, Mr. Foster? Marcia and I, because now those are our names, both left PETA. We left that life for good behind our back, with the promise to amend for it. That’s why we came here. Because we knew you were the manager.”
Martin and King exchanged glances. They sounded sincere, but for now they decided to listen at their explanation all the same...