Housepets!

My friend planted a heap of riding whips the other day. She wanted to grow some crops.

Did you know that I can look at the paw of any anthropomorphic-genre enthusiast and tell you exactly what music they like?
"How do I do it?" I hear you cry.
Simple.
I'm a furr-tune teller!

I once managed to wear a clowns shoes.
It was no small feet.

I would axe you a question but I don't have anymore spray.



I'm in a knotty situation.


How tonight by Monty python.

Hotep the psychic wrote:I would axe you a question but I don't have anymore spray.



I'm in a knotty situation.


How tonight by Monty python.

I guess you got tied up with your knotty joke

What do you call a limited edition Dasyurid? Highly quollectible!

What do you call quolls in a solution? A quolloidal suspension!

I was thinking of posting in this but it dingo as planned.

May you all you dogs bow-wow down to Punderful Spell Cat-ster! I have captured all the felines and-

"Let meowt!"

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I asked a bunch of people to take me around at the zoo, to see if them out the animals knew any good jokes or puns.

All I got was a bunch of amatours.
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My boss said he had some lay offs to do.

"Sir, no one thinks you're fat! There's no need to do any lay offs!"
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I heard Spider-Man was recently turned into a dog. He hides his shame by never leaving the shadows.

"Does that make him Peter Barker or Peter Darker?"
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Let's head over to favored pizzeria. The one with the animatronics.

"Doesn't them being in this universe make them literal animal-tronics?"

(I'm gonna scar them all, so be prepared. ((If you Lion King...)))
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Golden Freddy decided to pay me a little visit while typing this. He groaned as he read over my shoulder.

"Hey! It's not my fault you can't bear my golden humor!"
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Freddy had just put out a small fire on his hat when I walked in.

"Only you can prevent Fredest fires."
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Chica got hit the back of the head, making her eyes pop out.

"Popeye's chicken, huh?"
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Bonnie was picking through a small box of candies the manager gave him. He popped a small chocolate one in his mouth.

"So, does this make you BonBon Bonnie?"
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Foxy was standing on a ladder, stringing up streamers. The ladder fell, causing him to lurch forward and get caught in the streamers, before falling.

"Dumb-tastic Mr. Fox."
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(Marionette, Puppet, Jack, whatever you want to call him, is my favorite. So he's here as well!)

Marionette was waiting for my calico muzzle to show up in the door. He smiled when I opened the door, accidentally letting in a sparrow. It landed on his shoulder, taking a liking to him instantly.

"Hello, Cap'n Jack Sparrow!"
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I pop through the Housepets Logo.

"That's-"

A ball bounces passed.

"Ball folks! I mean, that's-"

A fake wall rides passed.

"Wall folks! Wait! I mean, that's-"

Next a phone rings of screen.

"Call folks! Ok, who's doing that?"

I climb out of the logo and stomp off screen. The Fazbear crew takes my place. Bonnie and Chica had cement on their hands, Foxy and Freddy held cell phones, and Marionette held a basket of rubber bouncy balls.

"That's all folks!"

Bonnie bits into a carrot.

"Eh, what's up, clock?"

They jump out of the logo add I begin to chase them with a mallet.

"I'LL CLOCK YOU ALL ON YOUR HEADS IF YOU DON'T STOP STEALING MY PUNS!"

(Beat all that. Sorry it's long, I couldn't stop!)

Peanut butter not mess with Grape's nap time again - I think he has yet to truly confront The Grape of Wrath.

The other day I heard a person got his whole left side cut off... But I'm sure he'll be all right.

All his left side? Like...straight down the middle and throw away the parts? Left his reactions a bit late didn't he?

I'm not going to take sides on this one.

Right.

Fishing left right now plz leave a line after the beep.

I break into song if I can't find the key.

My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
I really want to get a job cleaning mirrors. It's just a job I can see myself doing.

The elephant attended medical school because he wanted to become a pachydermatologist.

How tearibly punny!

Hlaoroo wrote:My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
I really want to get a job cleaning mirrors. It's just a job I can see myself doing.

Why not just take Selfies? You can picture yourselves doing it!

2nd try. Sorry.

Yo dawg i heard you like T so i got you mr T drinking Tea at T mobile under your Mr T mobile

One doesn't make a joke about Mr T; that's not what us A team do! We're nice people.

The great thing about Mr T, is travelling with him. On account of his name being one letter, first class is a lot cheaper.

The other day I had a piece of cake wrapped in tinfoil with my lunch. And I thought to myself... Opening this tinfoil will be a piece of cake won't it!

Czukay wrote:The other day I had a piece of cake wrapped in tinfoil with my lunch. And I thought to myself... Opening this tinfoil will be a piece of cake won't it!

That's a lie. Portal reference.

The midget psychic escaped prison. He was a small medium at large.
Newspaper Headline Reads: Cartoonist Found Dead at Home! Details are sketchy!
The magician got frustrated and pulled his hare out.
There was once a cross eyed teacher who had issues controlling his pupils. That's Mean!
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
Those fish were shy. They were obviously coy.
What is a Pirate's favourite letter? Tis the C!

Sure climbing small ladders is a poor part of the job, but its a step up!

A plant and its buds were sent uproot for their chrymes.

I guess Author's allergies influenced this pun. I'm going to do something illegal to y-wait a second.

These are so punny: https://www.facebook.com/EMGNdotCom/pos ... 6535223996

"So, you're saying you need some of my magic?"

"In a manna of speaking".

oh this is just going to dragon and on isn't it?

Probably not, for Pete's sake!

This has become so worrying I'm going to have kits-sune.

These puns are Tarotble.

How about a Peanut?

that wasn't a very good pun. what were you thin-King?