Housepets!

Posted: **Sun Sep 08, 2019 2:36 pm**

You get a Waffle House breakfast special and a couple of horse race tips from the guy you sat beside at the counter. (Gosh, the stuff they pack into this machine!)

In goes a Brontosaurus (okay, okay, I know, it's an Apatosaurus - sheesh!).

Posted: **Mon Sep 09, 2019 9:37 am**

you get fred flintstone

i insert twitter's main server. don't worry, i'm sure nobody will miss it.

Posted: **Tue Sep 10, 2019 9:46 am**

You get canceled.

I insert a single jean.

Posted: **Tue Sep 10, 2019 10:38 am**

you get a very angry phoenix.

i insert Hugh Jackman

Posted: **Tue Sep 10, 2019 10:11 pm**

A cross between a

and a

I insert PBG (Peanut Butter Gamer)

Posted: **Wed Sep 11, 2019 2:05 am**

Out comes Peanut Butter Sandwich.

Drop in a python.

Posted: **Wed Sep 11, 2019 4:28 am**

You get Monty Python And The Holy Graill ~~The documentary of king Arthur's life.~~ Jk, It's just a silly movie

I insert Pokéfarm Q

Posted: **Wed Sep 11, 2019 12:50 pm**

You get Avenue Q.

In goes a Harley-Davidson chopper.

Posted: **Wed Sep 11, 2019 8:40 pm**

out comes a mud covered slightly deranged looking Arnold Schwarzenegger.

in goes a facehugger egg.

Posted: **Thu Sep 12, 2019 8:08 am**

Out goes a head crab
I insert Mickey Mouse Club House

Posted: **Thu Sep 12, 2019 8:51 am**

You get a Cease and Desist notice courtesy of the house of mouse.

i insert a bag of doritos

Posted: **Thu Sep 12, 2019 10:19 am**

You get the bag back - empty.

Drop in a pair of swimming trunks.

Posted: **Thu Sep 12, 2019 6:29 pm**

In return you get only a swim shirt

I insert a rooster at dawn

Posted: **Thu Sep 12, 2019 9:08 pm**

you get one of those chattering plastic teeth things

i insert a rose, a creeper costume, and a bear suit

Posted: **Fri Sep 13, 2019 7:42 pm**

You get Barney Bear doing a minuet to the Woody Woodpecker theme.

We pour in a barrel of Hawaiian poi.

Posted: **Sat Sep 14, 2019 6:38 am**

You get Hawaiian Punch
I insert Scott Sterling, a kingdom hearts 2 creeper, and every single episode of the Veggietales Larry Boy cartoon.

Posted: **Sat Sep 14, 2019 7:25 am**

you get scott pilgrim making a salad.

i insert an empty chip bag

Posted: **Sat Sep 14, 2019 8:12 am**

You get a full bag of chips and a note saying you owe the machine a dollar

I insert a gently used silk glove

Posted: **Sat Sep 14, 2019 7:59 pm**

You get several hundred clippings from the "Mis. Manner's etiquette column.

In go four boxes of Cheez-its.

Posted: **Sun Sep 15, 2019 6:08 pm**

You get "so much cheese we may just run out of cheese"

I insert a copious amount of notes

Posted: **Sun Sep 15, 2019 10:10 pm**

you get wallpapered with off-brand post-its

I insert Hawkfang's next post

Posted: **Sun Sep 15, 2019 10:11 pm**

You get NOTHING
I insert Yuri Lowenthal

Posted: **Sun Sep 15, 2019 10:18 pm**

you get world peas (no that's not a typo)

i retroactively insert your post.

Posted: **Sun Sep 15, 2019 10:30 pm**

You get every single book you will ever want, but only in 1337
I inset the profanity filter filtering out the first name of an actor.

Posted: **Mon Sep 16, 2019 10:26 am**

You get a bag of circus peanuts and a water bed.

In goes a box of Honey Nut Cheerios.

Posted: **Tue Sep 17, 2019 9:28 am**

you get a box of Froot Loops

I insert a 4 pound bag of pretzel m&ms

Posted: **Tue Sep 17, 2019 1:04 pm**

You get a case of bottled water and a slightly used couch.

I insert a pair of Ray-Ban sunglasses.

Posted: **Tue Sep 17, 2019 5:46 pm**

You get a ban-ray. The world cowers in fear.

I insert one of those springy door stops that makes a weird noise when you pull em back

Posted: **Tue Sep 17, 2019 6:00 pm**

You get a slinky

I insert a skull

Posted: **Wed Sep 18, 2019 9:12 am**

You get a DVD of a community theater staging of Hamlet and a bowler hat.

I insert a bottle of diet soda.

Posted: **Wed Sep 18, 2019 3:24 pm**

You get a case of the hiccups with an aftertaste vaguely resembling Naugahyde.

So, we'll drop in a porcupine.

Posted: **Wed Sep 18, 2019 3:59 pm**

Out comes a can of peaches in heavy syrup and a bottle of wine.

In goes a case of motor oil.

Posted: **Sat Sep 21, 2019 1:39 pm**

Out comes a pile of pistons and an oil pan.

In goes a stack of Captain Video DVDs.

Posted: **Sat Sep 21, 2019 5:03 pm**

Out comes cap- "FALCON PUNCH!"

*koff* *koff* him.

*stuffs the idiot back in*

Posted: **Mon Sep 23, 2019 12:14 am**

You get F-Zero.

I insert Nopunintendo (A bunch of game related (mostly Nintendo related) jokes by Terminal Montage)

Posted: **Mon Sep 23, 2019 12:15 am**

Out comes an N64.

In goes Homer Simpson.

Posted: **Mon Sep 23, 2019 10:06 am**

Out comes a box of donuts and a six-pack of Duff beer.

In goes a box of green tea.

Posted: **Mon Sep 23, 2019 12:13 pm**

Out comes a Japanese Tea ceremony kit.

In goes a Star Trek badge.

Posted: **Mon Sep 23, 2019 1:08 pm**

out comes Terrok Nor/Deep Space Nine.

i... can't actually get to the vending machine to put something in, there's a kilometer wide space station in the way.

Posted: **Tue Sep 24, 2019 6:04 pm**

Don't worry about it, the Prophets send their blessings anyways.

I insert one Raktajino.

Housepets!

The Vending Machine Game!

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