Yet another Original Fiction attempt

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Liam
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Yet another Original Fiction attempt

Post by Liam »

So yeah, jumping on the bandwagon, huh?

Maybe I can get somebody interested in my Sci-Fi(sorta)/Horror(kinda) piece.

Here's Part I. (WARNING: Definitely not PG, contains strong language, you have been warned.)

Thoughts?
"It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it." - Upton Sinclair
Wanderer wrote:You don't need a job, you need money.

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Liam
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Re: Yet another Original Fiction attempt

Post by Liam »

Is it really that bad? ;_;
"It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it." - Upton Sinclair
Wanderer wrote:You don't need a job, you need money.

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Dusty
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Re: Yet another Original Fiction attempt

Post by Dusty »

Liam wrote:Is it really that bad? ;_;
The only comment I've gotten on mine is yours. So don't feel bad.


EDIT: Intresting, the whole thing about plebs, is that just slang for a peasant or a poor person?

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zeekgenateer
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Re: Yet another Original Fiction attempt

Post by zeekgenateer »

The story is a bit confusing, plus there isn't much in the way of a character introduction for the professor. It's an interesting premise, though the gladiatorial thing at the start was... well it was very vague and without a lot of description it sounded a lot like pokemon or something. Not to say that's a bad thing, but it's not something I'm a big fan of.
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Liam
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Re: Yet another Original Fiction attempt

Post by Liam »

Dusty wrote:Intresting, the whole thing about plebs, is that just slang for a peasant or a poor person?
The common, non-privileged people, yes.
zeekgenateer wrote:It's an interesting premise, though the gladiatorial thing at the start was... well it was very vague and without a lot of description it sounded a lot like pokemon or something.
Yeah, in hindsight I should have fleshed that part a little bit more out, since it's, err, basically the story's pivot. :oops:

And yes, the allusions are intentional. :3
"It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it." - Upton Sinclair
Wanderer wrote:You don't need a job, you need money.

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