Joys And Sorrows

NHWestoN · Post by **NHWestoN** » Wed May 19, 2021 8:23 pm

I'm not familiar with it.

But I can kind of relate to your anxiety. When I was a child, my parents bought a television - must have been about 1954. Saturday was children's TV morning and many of the programs featured reruns of old 1930s-1940s serials. Usually there'd be a host, a couple of puppet pals, and a ten-fifteen minute film. These often featured children in peril from various predatory creatures - especially scary, sneaky ones like crocodiles, sharks, giant squids, with their actions accompanied by deeply foreboding music.

I found these films both terrifying and riveting. I'd hide behind my father's overstuffed chair, creeped out by the music. And, then, there were the comic books, the various horror titles which I also found the stuff of nightmares. My parents, of course, tried to keep me away from them and I never bought any, but there were older kids who had them and let me read them. They sure weren't Cark Barks...

My son, who was an adopted Korean child, had not seen television or movies until he came to live with us. We often had to explained to him that what he saw on TV programs was theatrics which was tricky - since there were also news programs and those were "true".

Now, all this said, Oded, I do not have the medical difficulties you must wrestle. With those, I can only empathize through what others have shown and taught me. That's why I have to admire how bravely you have ventured into animation and taken up the challenges of your life with such creativity and energy. You have so much talent and insight. I pray you let these gifts help you and that you also have a support system to sustain you as you deal with these issues. Be not dismayed, sir.

Post by **Sleet** » Wed May 19, 2021 9:03 pm

Joy: Only two days left of school ever!

Amazee Dayzee · Post by **Amazee Dayzee** » Thu May 20, 2021 2:06 am

Joy: It is slowly starting to get more nice out!

Harry Johnathan · Post by **Harry Johnathan** » Thu May 20, 2021 2:43 am

Amazee Dayzee wrote: ↑Thu May 20, 2021 2:06 am Joy: It is slowly starting to get more nice out!

Whoop whoop!

NHWestoN · Post by **NHWestoN** » Thu May 20, 2021 8:02 am

Ah ... warm weather. And butterflies!

Harry Johnathan · Post by **Harry Johnathan** » Thu May 20, 2021 8:03 am

NHWestoN wrote: ↑Thu May 20, 2021 8:02 am Ah ... warm weather. And butterflies!

Great!

Down on the Rez we've got storms and grey skies.

trekkie · Post by **trekkie** » Thu May 20, 2021 11:13 am

Congrats Sleet, or should I say, Dr. Sleet.

Further Sorrow/Anger: The dude who was fired for stealing from the store where I work has had the audacity to demand that he be paid for the time when he was stealing . The owner is looking into filing charges we have it on video.

Joy: My book club podcast wherein we read comically bad books has revealed their latest book. It looks to be a delight.

Welsh Halfwit · Post by **Welsh Halfwit** » Thu May 20, 2021 12:07 pm

trekkie wrote: ↑Thu May 20, 2021 11:13 am Joy: My book club podcast wherein we read comically bad books has revealed their latest book. It looks to be a delight.

And its name is..?

trekkie · Post by **trekkie** » Thu May 20, 2021 12:12 pm

372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back.

Welsh Halfwit · Post by **Welsh Halfwit** » Thu May 20, 2021 12:17 pm

trekkie wrote: ↑Thu May 20, 2021 12:12 pm 372 Pages We’ll Never Get Back.

Joy. Conversations that are amusing.

I meant what's the book?

trekkie · Post by **trekkie** » Thu May 20, 2021 12:28 pm

Oh, I beg your pardon. Modelland by Tyra Banks.

Kind of a Harry Potter-ish book except instead of wizards the characters are trying to be models.

NHWestoN · Post by **NHWestoN** » Thu May 20, 2021 4:03 pm

trekkie wrote: ↑Thu May 20, 2021 12:28 pm Oh, I beg your pardon. Modelland by Tyra Banks.

Kind of a Harry Potter-ish book except instead of wizards the characters are trying to be models.

I knew it! Voldemorte's not really DEAD!!!

Amazee Dayzee · Post by **Amazee Dayzee** » Thu May 20, 2021 5:23 pm

Joy: Most places over here are slowly starting to get rid of wearing masks!

OdedZeituni98 · Post by **OdedZeituni98** » Fri May 21, 2021 2:31 pm

Sorrow: I'm afraid I have to suffer this video game and those sitcoms thoughts forever

CunningFox · Post by **CunningFox** » Fri May 21, 2021 5:31 pm

Joy: Got my second vaccine.

Harry Johnathan · Post by **Harry Johnathan** » Fri May 21, 2021 6:05 pm

OdedZeituni98 wrote: ↑Fri May 21, 2021 2:31 pm Sorrow: I'm afraid I have to suffer this video game and those sitcoms thoughts forever

Nah, fam. Sure it will pass.

OdedZeituni98 · Post by **OdedZeituni98** » Sat May 22, 2021 9:10 am

I'm about to really cry right now, thinking about how my life went downhill...

Post by **Obbl** » Sat May 22, 2021 8:30 pm

It's okay to cry, we know this is a really difficult situation

It just takes time, and we'll be here for you along the way

OdedZeituni98 · Post by **OdedZeituni98** » Sun May 23, 2021 1:27 pm

I can't take my life anymore... I forgot to look at a single detail on a picture from one of those searches on the internet that makes me uncomfortable and now it is bothering me every second!

Harry Johnathan · Post by **Harry Johnathan** » Sun May 23, 2021 5:09 pm

OdedZeituni98 wrote: ↑Sun May 23, 2021 1:27 pm I can't take my life anymore... I forgot to look at a single detail on a picture from one of those searches on the internet that makes me uncomfortable and now it is bothering me every second!

It's okay, it's gonna be okay.

Amazee Dayzee · Post by **Amazee Dayzee** » Sun May 23, 2021 10:08 pm

Just take some time and relax by focusing on something that makes you happy and try to calm your mind. Life is worth living and you will eventually realize that.

Post by **D-Rock** » Mon May 24, 2021 12:15 am

My mom had an rather bad day today. As of late, she's been incredibly fatigued, and she's been sleeping a lot more than usual. She also has little appetite due to stomachaches.

Almost a month ago, she had stents placed in her bile ducts, as her previous ones were clogged, leading to a dangerous level of the chemical bilirubin to build up in her bloodstream. I don't know much of the barometer that they use, but apparently safe levels of bilirubin is measured at two. Hers was at 14. Two weeks after the successful stent placements, the levels dropped all the way down to eight. Great news right there, but the doctor said that as long as it was high to begin with, she's be feeling these effects. She also finally got a CT scan to locate her cancer, we haven't gotten an update on the results of those yet, but it should be soon.

Regarding today, once again she was sleeping a lot, and could barely get herself to eat. In order to help, my dad got her some mineral water, but a really bad bout of nausea hit her. She was feeling weak for the rest of the day. It's possible that drinking the water quickly caused this bout, as since it had a horrid flavor, she tried to get over it quickly.

It hurts to see her like this, and she's on the verge of giving up on everything, explicitly telling me that she'd been wanting things to just end. We can't get these procedures done fast enough, and it's not helped that her infection earlier this year made us lose months of treatments.

I'm doing my best to not be worried about this, as it's starting to affect my own well being now, but after today, that might be impossible.

Harry Johnathan · Post by **Harry Johnathan** » Mon May 24, 2021 12:17 am

D-Rock wrote: ↑Mon May 24, 2021 12:15 am My mom had an rather bad day today. As of late, she's been incredibly fatigued, and she's been sleeping a lot more than usual. She also has little appetite due to stomachaches.

Almost a month ago, she had stents placed in her bile ducts, as her previous ones were clogged, leading to a dangerous level of the chemical bilirubin to build up in her bloodstream. I don't know much of the barometer that they use, but apparently safe levels of bilirubin is measured at two. Hers was at 14. Two weeks after the successful stent placements, the levels dropped all the way down to eight. Great news right there, but the doctor said that as long as it was high to begin with, she's be feeling these effects. She also finally got a CT scan to locate her cancer, we haven't gotten an update on the results of those yet, but it should be soon.

Regarding today, once again she was sleeping a lot, and could barely get herself to eat. In order to help, my dad got her some mineral water, but a really bad bout of nausea hit her. She was feeling weak for the rest of the day. It's possible that drinking the water quickly caused this bout, as since it had a horrid flavor, she tried to get over it quickly.

It hurts to see her like this, and she's on the verge of giving up on everything, explicitly telling me that she'd been wanting things to just end. We can't get these procedures done fast enough, and it's not helped that her infection earlier this year made us lose months of treatments.

I'm doing my best to not be worried about this, as it's starting to affect my own well being now, but after today, that might be impossible.

I'll pray.

Post by **D-Rock** » Mon May 24, 2021 12:22 am

thanks.

GameCobra · Post by **GameCobra** » Mon May 24, 2021 12:28 am

I'll be keeping your mom in my prayers tonight, D-Rock

Oded, please don't look at life like that. You never know what happens in life, good or bad. I hope you feel better

DDeer · Post by **DDeer** » Mon May 24, 2021 8:04 am

Sorry to hear your Mum is going through a bad patch D-Rock, thinking of you and your family and hoping they manage to get the required procedures sorted for her soon, I can empathise with your feelings, just remember it is o.k. for things such as this to have an effect on you.

Oded, is there anyone close to you who you trust who you can talk to about these unwanted thoughts? it is obviously causing you some distress at the moment and sometimes just sharing these things can be a big help, alternatively there are confidential phonelines out there that may be able to help, are there underlying pressures on you that may be causing these thoughts maybe, it could be a sign of putting too much pressure on yourself, remember no one is perfect.

NHWestoN · Post by **NHWestoN** » Mon May 24, 2021 1:03 pm

Sorry for your mom's and your difficulties, D. It's so vital that she has your strong love and family support during this seemingly endless ordeal. You have my prayers and keep keeping us all informed. There's a large community of caring here in this funny little forum.

CunningFox · Post by **CunningFox** » Mon May 24, 2021 2:08 pm

Keeping your mom in my thoughts, D-Rock.

OdedZeituni98 · Post by **OdedZeituni98** » Mon May 24, 2021 2:10 pm

I feel like I get blinded by those actors, I see only them in my mind and nothing else, I can't forget them no matter what I do... can't enjoy a cartoon without thinking about them

trekkie · Post by **trekkie** » Mon May 24, 2021 4:31 pm

D-Rock: I am so sorry things with your mom are bad right now. I wish I could do more but I will keep you all in my prayers. Stay strong, we are here for you.

Oded: Try and seek out professional help if you can. If these searches are getting in the way of you living your life, then you should seek out a professional. If you need to go off the internet for a while to help vanquish these thoughts, than that is better, we will be here for you when you come back.

OdedZeituni98 · Post by **OdedZeituni98** » Mon May 24, 2021 5:58 pm

What is it with my mind thinking about those cringe searches all the time
I start to think about an episode from a tv show that aliens control tv featuring one of the actors and my mind connects it to my favorite cartoons... Which gives me headache

Amazee Dayzee · Post by **Amazee Dayzee** » Mon May 24, 2021 6:01 pm

Joy: Its not as atrocious hot and muggy as it was yesterday!

Post by **D-Rock** » Mon May 24, 2021 7:12 pm

The good news is, my mom wasn’t anywhere near as sickly today as she was during the weekend, so there’s that. She was even able to keep food down, albeit still not much of an appetite. There’s also the fatigue that still there. But one joy at a time, it seems.

Amazee Dayzee · Post by **Amazee Dayzee** » Mon May 24, 2021 11:14 pm

Glad things seem to be a bit better for you Rocky. I will keep thinking of your family.

NHWestoN · Post by **NHWestoN** » Tue May 25, 2021 7:58 pm

Amazee Dayzee wrote: ↑Mon May 24, 2021 11:14 pm Glad things seem to be a bit better for you Rocky. I will keep thinking of your family.

Yeah, those are good signs - being tired at first is okay. It's hard work, being sick, D-Rock.

Amazee Dayzee · Post by **Amazee Dayzee** » Wed May 26, 2021 12:21 am

Joy: We are making plans to go visit my last surviving pair of grandparents and family down in Vermont this summer!

Post by **D-Rock** » Wed May 26, 2021 8:24 pm

We got bad news. In the five months my mom spent recovering from her infection, the cancer made a strong rebound. Apparently it’s spread to other parts of the liver. She’ll be starting stronger chemo in the coming weeks. The feelings of fatigue and nausea won’t go away until that’s gone.

The regular chemo was bad enough on her, now they’re planning stronger stuff. Of course, there is now the issue of how much the cancer itself has mutated. If it hasn’t, that’s a good thing, just have to deal with the stronger chemo. If it has, that’s a bad thing, but apparently the doctors have a new procedure that works extremely well on it should that be the case, so in a strange way, win-win.

At least, that’s what I keep telling myself, and it’s something that my dad and brother are trying to instill in me as well. Right now, I can’t be left alone to my thoughts. They can’t do radiation therapy until it’s been beaten back to a certain level.

Please continue to pray for us.

Harry Johnathan · Post by **Harry Johnathan** » Wed May 26, 2021 8:41 pm

Oof.

Sorry this is happening, Rocky.

I prayed.

trekkie · Post by **trekkie** » Wed May 26, 2021 8:50 pm

I’ll pray for you all, Rock.

Amazee Dayzee · Post by **Amazee Dayzee** » Wed May 26, 2021 11:15 pm

Joy: I have a job interview to see if I am qualified for the position I applied to!