Joys And Sorrows

[OdedZeituni98]

Sorrow: I can't see properly anymore because I looked at one of the images from those searches while (I think) half of my vision was with my glasses and half of the vision was without glasses, now everytime I look at a cartoon I remember that image in my mind, I don't want to search those people again as I made a promise to myself not to do that again, I don't know when it will last my promise

[DDeer]

Joy: I have a job interview to see if I am qualified for the position I applied to!

Good luck Amazee With the interview, remember not tor rush and think if there is anything you want to add when answering questions. You can do it!

[DDeer]

We got bad news. In the five months my mom spent recovering from her infection, the cancer made a strong rebound. Apparently it’s spread to other parts of the liver. She’ll be starting stronger chemo in the coming weeks. The feelings of fatigue and nausea won’t go away until that’s gone.

The regular chemo was bad enough on her, now they’re planning stronger stuff. Of course, there is now the issue of how much the cancer itself has mutated. If it hasn’t, that’s a good thing, just have to deal with the stronger chemo. If it has, that’s a bad thing, but apparently the doctors have a new procedure that works extremely well on it should that be the case, so in a strange way, win-win.

At least, that’s what I keep telling myself, and it’s something that my dad and brother are trying to instill in me as well. Right now, I can’t be left alone to my thoughts. They can’t do radiation therapy until it’s been beaten back to a certain level.

Please continue to pray for us.

You are still in our thoughts D-Rock, your dad and brother are right, all you can do at the moment is focus on the fact that they now know what they are dealing with and they do have a plan of treatment but I understand that is hard.

[Amazee Dayzee]

Joy: The new garden where the koi pond once was is coming along nicely.

[OdedZeituni98]

Sorrow: this day went awful for me, in the morning I was confused with directions while riding a bus, then got late for an interview, then called my grandma to pick me up
then I stopped dad in the middle of his work to take me to the place
and then at evening I downloaded photoshop from a file called "filewomen" or something and then my computer acted weird
and I got treated like a clown

[CunningFox]

We got bad news. In the five months my mom spent recovering from her infection, the cancer made a strong rebound. Apparently it’s spread to other parts of the liver. She’ll be starting stronger chemo in the coming weeks. The feelings of fatigue and nausea won’t go away until that’s gone.

The regular chemo was bad enough on her, now they’re planning stronger stuff. Of course, there is now the issue of how much the cancer itself has mutated. If it hasn’t, that’s a good thing, just have to deal with the stronger chemo. If it has, that’s a bad thing, but apparently the doctors have a new procedure that works extremely well on it should that be the case, so in a strange way, win-win.

At least, that’s what I keep telling myself, and it’s something that my dad and brother are trying to instill in me as well. Right now, I can’t be left alone to my thoughts. They can’t do radiation therapy until it’s been beaten back to a certain level.

Please continue to pray for us.

So sorry to hear this, D-Rock. Thinking of you and your family.

Sorrow: this day went awful for me, in the morning I was confused with directions while riding a bus, then got late for an interview, then called my grandma to pick me up
then I stopped dad in the middle of his work to take me to the place
and then at evening I downloaded photoshop from a file called "filewomen" or something and then my computer acted weird
and I got treated like a clown

It sucks when you have days where nothing goes right. Hope tomorrow's better for you.

[NHWestoN]

Yesterday, I received a jolting email from a colleague back at the University where I taught. One of my best friends there had died, apparently of a coronary, very early that morning (2:00 am or so). He had been sitting in his lounger when he suddenly experienced mild heartburn, which then grew intolerably painful and proceeded to shortness of breath. The ambulance took him to the hospital and he was operated on, a stent being what they thought would work. Tragically, it did not and he left us without ever regaining consciousness. His wife, the department, and so many others are devastated.

Bruce was younger than me by many years, seemed to be in excellent health, and had just celebrated his retirement from teaching that weekend. He had actually retired a year earlier, partly from the Covid concern and partly from exasperation over the befuddlement of the administration and the techno-anarchy of constantly changing classroom/zoom/computer class teaching strategies. He was a charismatic teacher, passionate about his history and his students, a compassionate advocate for animal welfare, and devoted to his missus, herself a powerful local voice for the protection of abused women. He was, incidentally, a close and treasured friend to me and his passing has left me profoundly saddened.

At my age and my stage, the deaths of friends, familiars, and associates is a sober undertone in your life. You come to accept as one of the how-things-are that mark the steady process of your world, your attachments, and eventually yourself. But there is always something especially grievous when someone you loved leaves suddenly before you. It's just NOT how it's "s`ppose tah be". "So it goes and so it goes and so will you, too, I suppose" (Billy Joel). For myself, t'will be enough to leave quietly, like Alice's Cheshire Cat, disappearing slowly and ending with a smile "that lingered in the air for some time after the rest of him had gone."

[D-Rock]

I am very sorry to hear that, Weston. I can only offer my condolences.

[CunningFox]

So sorry to hear about your friend, Weston.

[NHWestoN]

I am very sorry to hear that, Weston. I can only offer my condolences.

Much appreciated, D-Rock. How's your mom now?

So sorry to hear about your friend, Weston.

Thanks, fox, you're kind.

[D-Rock]

My mom goes back and forth a lot the past few days. She wakes up in good spirits a lot, though she often sleeps in, lacks appetite, coughs a lot, but she’s getting better with that, and she tries more easily as of late. At least today she was able to eat half of a pretty good sized burger.

Today she had physical therapy, which she wasn’t looking forward to, but it turns out that afterwards she’s in a good mood. Her therapists have been good and encouraging people, and it does help to get other out of the house at times.

I’m wanting to believe that her excessive tiredness today was from the workout, which isn’t out of the ordinary, typically. Though it left her having a hard time walking to the end of the day, even with the walker.

She went back to what I think are bouts of nausea, though not too sure on that. It’s usually an extremely painful experience for her, but the recent events are merely coughing up a lot of phlegm as opposed to actual vomit, so that sounds like an improvement overall. At least I hope it is.

If I heard correctly, she’s set to restart chemo on Tuesday, and the doctor responsible for her is now doubling down on making sure she gets the treatments she needs.

When she was last of chemo, it really racked her body, so we know we’re going to have to deal with that again.

I’m trying to keep my anxieties and worries in check, but it’s hard. It does none of us any good. Especially when I realized the other day that I almost forgot to eat until nighttime. My mom seems to be trying to be strong for my sake as much as I’m trying to do the same for her, and it’s so ____ exhausting.

[Harry Johnathan]

That sucks, man.

[DDeer]

Really sorry to hear about your friends passing Weston, my heart goes out to you, it is doubly hard when you loose someone unexpectedly (though never easy). He will obviously be missed by many, your words on the subject are very poetic and apt I think.

I'm glad your mum seems to be bearing up at present D-Rock, when someone who is close to you has a long term illness it can be very fatiguing on all concerned, make sure you look after yourself as well, be no good if you get ill too.

Keep well all, thinking of you both,

Daunted

[NHWestoN]

Take good care of yourself, Rock. That, too, is therapeutic and healing for your mom, knowing you are okay. These medical procedures seem interminable but things seem to be moving in positive directions. You and your mom are in many prayers.

[trekkie]

<hugs Weston and D-Rock>
Sorry , about what’s happened, guys.

Frustration: My niece is acting up in school , my brother and his ex say they don’t know why. However, whenever my niece acted up around family they encouraged her, and said my brother’s ex said that my parents, didn’t know how to parent “in the modern age” . They also fired a nanny who told them that my niece acted up.

[Amazee Dayzee]

Sorrow: It is the end of May and almost the beginning of June and for some reason its now FREEZING out again. <_<

[trekkie]

Yeah, I know, my parents turned the heat on in their house.

[Amazee Dayzee]

Hoping it will warm up a little bit but not too much. We haven't put in our air conditioners yet.

[OdedZeituni98]

I want you guys to know I'm suffering those searches in my mind for like a year now, those searches and those people ruin everything that I love like Disney characters or dogs... it is all because of that game Night Trap and then it goes to shows like Diff'rent Strokes, Maude, Mr. President... which features those actors and I keep saying their names all the time, even actors who worked on their movies is troubling my mind. I feel like I got Schizophrenia and OCD from those things, it's like a trauma that can't be unseen, I wish I could go back in time and avoid getting those in my mind in the first place

[Harry Johnathan]

Oof. Sucks, man.

[NHWestoN]

Forgive my naivete, Oded. Aren't there some medications or therapies to help control or limit these mental imagery intrusions?

[CunningFox]

Oded, are you seeing someone about your problems? If not, I recommend that you do.

[OdedZeituni98]

well I had seen a psychiatrist but it was weeks ago, I take special me medications that helps reduce it, I try to do other things to distract me but when I try to find something to distract me it's just getting stronger... my mind just randomly wants me to think about it while doing something else and I try to refuse but it messes my vision up when I think of something else like Disney characters or dogs in general.

[Amazee Dayzee]

Maybe you should ask your psychiatrist if you can get an increase on your medication. That could possibly help you in some way.

[DDeer]

Joys went out shopping for first time in a long time, got a new Ticket to Ride board game expansion, a fun game and easy to learn, a good one for all the family (and friends). I highly recommend it.

Daunted

[Harry Johnathan]

My mom and dad just had a fight for the seventh time today. Mom always thinks she's right and Dad is just mean. I hate both of them.

[trekkie]

Gah. Yeah, parents suck sometimes. Sorry you have to listen to them quarreling.

[Amazee Dayzee]

Joy: Got to go to different cemeteries with my grandaunt, granduncle and mother today to visit relatives.

[Welsh Halfwit]

Joy: Got to go to different cemeteries with my grandaunt, granduncle and mother today to visit relatives.

It shows the state of things that THAT'S a joy!

[NHWestoN]

My parents grave is less than a mile from here. Dad joined the Navy in the 30s to escape the Depression and for lack of educational opportunities. A lot of Maine men (and women) did that. He served in World War Two in the Pacific where they promoted him to officer ranks (very common in the war). He did not see action in Korea since submarines had no real role to play. My mother had married him in 1935 and served in a variety of civilian support roles during the war years. She died in February, 1998, at the age of 84. Dad then died six weeks later.

Memorial Day always brings up a swirl of contradictory emotions for me, but then my service was a different kind in a different time under very different circumstances. Maybe its value, even though it's a secular holiday, to have a day where you feel an obligation to remember those who have gone before. For many I know, it's more personal than patriotic, and that doesn't necessarily diminish the occasion. We all owe so many debts we could never repay ... the least we can do is reflect at times on those who made our lives a little better than they might have been.

And then maybe remember to take every opportunity to pass on to other what lies in our power to give. Over time, all headstones eventually mark the names of people who will cease to be remembered but for the inscriptions remain legible. Flowers die, flags tatter and fly away, visits dwindle and ceremonies go unremarked but our kindnesses sink deep into the DNA of the people and animals we have touched.

[Amazee Dayzee]

It was mainly a happy time for me because I got to learn about family members that I don't remember meeting or haven't met at all. Its fun to learn a bit about my family history.

[OdedZeituni98]

Sorrow: finally those searches made me completely mentally blind

[Welsh Halfwit]

Sorrow: finally those searches made me completely mentally blind

I have enough trouble with earworms that I don't actually know what to say to that other than what others have said. Find an expert.

[Amazee Dayzee]

Sorrow: Rick is taking a hiatus for over two months and I am sad.

Joy: He said he is coming back! Yay!

[Sleet]

Joy: I'm a doctor now!

Sorrow: Going through residency is going to be a lot of work for three years. :O

[CunningFox]

Congratulations, Sleet!

[trekkie]

Congrats, Dr. Sleet! You’ll do great, with your residency.

[NHWestoN]

Joy: Sleet's a doctor!

[Amazee Dayzee]

Great job on becoming a doctor Sleet! I hope you don't completely vanish from the net though.

[Harry Johnathan]

Paging Dr. Sleet.