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Harry Johnathan
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Movie Revue

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THE EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC
Rated R for horror violence and scary images.
This is actually in the movie.
This is actually in the movie.
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Based on "The Exorcist" by William Peter Blatty
Starring Linda Blair, Paul Heider, Richard Burton, and James Earl Jones music by Ennio Morricone producers Richard Lederer and Paul Heider written by William Goodhart & John Boorman directed by John Boorman In Color by TECHNICOLOR® a Warner Bros. Pictures/Mill Creek producton

We all know the horror-classic The Exorcist, where Reagen, a teenage girl, is possessed and an elderly preist played by Max von Syndow is sent to save her soul from being absorbed by the demon.

But did you know that in 1977, Warner Bros. produced a sequel to the original hit movie... and promplty spent the next five decades trying to make you forget that it ever existed.

Directed by John Boorman, the man who brought us such amazing lines as "Squeal like a piggy!" and "The (bad word here) is evil", The Exorcist II follows a grown-up and surprisingly hot Reagen McNeil as she rots away in a pysch ward run by a depressed nurse who is experimenting with reading people's minds. Already this diverges from the source-material but surprisingly it manages to get even weirder.

Father Lamont, a priest played by Richard Burton, the man behind that absolutely horrible film adaptation of Faust back in the 70s, is sent by The Pope to investigate claims that Father Merrin, the priest from the original film, was a crackpot who worshipped demons. (Yes, because casting demons out of a girl at the cost of your own life sounds like an occultist to me) Father Lamont forms this creepy "romance" with the, let me remind you, STILL UNDERAGE Reagen, before leaving to Africa to meet with Kakumo, a scientist studying locusts who believes that Reagen is a psychic sent by God to combat the devil. (Proven by Regean healing a mute girl who can't speak because of her advanced autism), After a bizarre tap-dancing scene at a... bar(?), Lamont has a vision of Father Merrin's ghost and vows to end the demon's reign of terror.

After returning to America, Lamont and Reagen reenact her exorcism at her childhood home in an attempt to finish off the demon, now revealed to be named 'pazuzu' (you can stop laughing at that name now). However, the demon turns into a succubus and attempts to... um... with Lamont, but he regains his senses as a swarm of locuts destroy the house, Reagen and Lamont only surviving because of Reagen reenacting an healing ritual performed by Kakumo as a child.

The film is full of bizarre and out of place imagery; the music is amazing (thanks Morricone!) but the script is filled with plot-holes, exposition and idiotic lines like this:

AUTISTIC GIRL: What's wrong with you?

REAGEN: (Perfectly calm) Oh, nothing. I was possessed by a demon.

AUTISTIC GIRL: (Visibly terrified),

REAGEN: But don't worry, he's gone now!

This movie is awful. It has some interesting things to say, but it's executed so poorly it comes across as idiotic. It has some beautiful imagery, sure, and Linda Blair's perfromance is fantastic, but John Boorman's slow-paced direction makes it hard to WANT to get to any of the good parts, like the climax. The power of Christ compels you...to skip this movie!

4/10 (they only even got a point in the first place for at least trying to be original. The second point is because it's actually really funny, though not intentionally. The third is for the score and the fourth is because of the torturous method acting John Boorman put Linda Blair through.)
Last edited by Harry Johnathan on Sat Oct 16, 2021 3:57 am, edited 7 times in total.
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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Harry Johnathan
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Re: Movie Revue with Rydr Warklub

Post by Harry Johnathan »

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Last edited by Harry Johnathan on Sat Mar 16, 2024 7:07 am, edited 2 times in total.
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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Harry Johnathan
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Re: Movie Revue with Rydr Warklub

Post by Harry Johnathan »

THE POLAR EXPRESS
Neato!
Neato!
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Starring Michael Jeter, Tom Hanks, & Tinashe
Music by Alan Silvestri based on the book "Polar Express" by Chris van Allsburg special-effects created by ImageMovers, Ltd. directed by Robert Zmeckis a Warner Bros. Pictures/Castle Rock Productons release
Rated PG for Mild Peril & Scary Images

A lot of people really hate this movie. They say the CGI used in it is uncanny. They say that the story is weak. They say the music is creepy. They say that Tom Hanks playing six roles is too much; "It's a stroke of his ego!", they cry.

I say to all of that; No. It's not uncanny; in fact, I think it looks amazing. Yes, even the character's. I know you all want to complain about Tom Hanks' "zombie eyes" or the Hero Boy's eye-brows or the Nerd Boy's "monkey face", but I never had a problem with it, even as a kid. In fact, this movie got me into trains. And Christmas. The music isn't creepy, it's just atmospheric; I'll admit the story is weak but when you watch it, you don't sense that. It doesn't occur to you. Also, Tom Hanks has been through a lot, he deserves an ego-trip. At least just one.

The story is, Hero Boy, a child beginning to doubt his belief in Santa, is invited to join a group of children aboard "The Polar Express", a magical time-travelling steamtrain that is on route to the North Pole, so that Santa can decide who gets the first gift of Christmas. Along the way, they encounter a creepy Scrooge puppet, a ghost, a firey mountain, a lake of ice, and other obstacles. They reach the North Pole just in time, and Hero Boy, for his, well... heroism, gets to choose the first gift. He returns home, and muses as he grows older that everyone except him had given up on their beliefs; he shows us his gift, a golden bell from Santa's sleigh.


This film is beautiful, no other way to describe it. 10/10
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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Harry Johnathan
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Re: Movie Revue with Rydr Warklub

Post by Harry Johnathan »

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Last edited by Harry Johnathan on Sat Mar 16, 2024 7:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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Harry Johnathan
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Re: Movie Revue with Rydr Warklub

Post by Harry Johnathan »

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Last edited by Harry Johnathan on Sat Mar 16, 2024 7:07 am, edited 3 times in total.
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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Harry Johnathan
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Re: Movie Revue with Rydr Warklub

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BATMAN (1989)
Pew! Pew!
Pew! Pew!
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Starting Michael Keaton, Kim Basinger and Jack Nicholson music by Danny Elfman directed by Tim Burton a Warner Bros. picture
Rated PG-13 for action violence

It's hard to imagine just how big of a deal Batman was when it was first released. Aside from the first "Superman", no one had ever attempted to potray superheroes as serious characters with real emotional arcs. Batman changed all this. And thank God it did.

The story is about Bruce Wayne, an eccentric playboy who falls in love with a reporter named Vicki Vale. However, she discovers that Bruce moonlights as a vilgiante known as "Batman" who is targeting the city's mob, as the city's incompetent police can't stop them. Harvey Dent, a kindly district attorney, is targeted by Jack Naiper, a gangster with a love for theatrics; however, Jack is thrown into a cat of acid by Batman following a failed raid on the Axis Chemicals plant, resulting in him becoming a clown-like supervillain known as the Joker. Batman learns from his butler Alfred that Jack Naiper was the mugger who had killed Bruce's parents when he was a young boy; The Joker kidnaps Vicki at a parade where he unleashes a dangerous poison on the city, intending to make her his bride. Batman arrives in the Batwing to stop the poison from spreading before confronting the Joker, who falls off the ledge of a cathedral and dies.

The film's set design is gorgeous, and the musical score by Danny Elfman is equal parts haunting and beautiful. 8/10
Last edited by Harry Johnathan on Sat Oct 16, 2021 3:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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Harry Johnathan
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Re: Movie Revue with Rydr Warklub

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SUPERMAN THE MOVIE
Weird flex, but okay.
Weird flex, but okay.
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Starring Margot Kidder, Christopher Reeve & Gene Hackman producer Alexander Salkind directed by Richard Donner a Warner Bros. picture
Rated PG for superhero action and mild sensuality

Superman the Movie, despite being over 40 years old, is still one of the best superhero films ever made.

The story? Kal-El, an alien baby from the dying planet of Krypton, is sent by his father Jor-El, a scientist, to the planet Earth via a spiky rocketship made of ice. He is taken in and raised by an elderly human couple, the Kenny's, and named Clark. After John Kent's death of old-age, an enraged Clark travels to Antarctica and discovers the Fortress of Solitude after throwing a mysterious green crystal at a block of ice. There, the ghost of his father Jor-El trains him to become a superhero known as Superman.

Clark takes a day-job as a reporter and begins a relationship with Lois Lane, an eccentric but brilliant co-worker. He saves her from a helicopter crash as Superman, and battles Lex Luthor, a former mad scientist turned realtor who wishes to blow up the state of California with a nuclear bomb to increase his home's retail value.

The film is brilliant, and John Williams's score is very good, and iconic. Jerry Seagle and Joel Shuster, the creators of Superman, reportedly cried tears of joy at the premier.

7/10
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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trekkie
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Re: Movie Revue with Rydr Warklub

Post by trekkie »

Good job on the reviews, they’re concise and enjoyable. Hope to see more.
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Re: Movie Revue with Rydr Warklub

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

Wonderful work once again! These reviews are like art and so nice to browse!
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Harry Johnathan
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Re: Movie Revue with Rydr Warklub

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SPIDER-MAN TRILOGY (2002, 2004, 2007)
DIRECTED BY SAM RAIMI Starring Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Cliff Robertson, J.K Simmons, Ted Raimi, Rosemary Harris, James Francoe and Willem Dafoe
Music by Danny Elfman Effects by John Dykstra based on the Marvel comic book by Stan Lee & Steve Ditko producers Laura Zitskin & Avi Arad screenplay by James Cameron & David Koepp directed by Sam Raimi
PG-13 for all films for fantasy violence and some sexual suggestions
What do I do, what do I do...
What do I do, what do I do...
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Sam Raimi's Spider-Man is better than The Amazing Spider-Man for one reason: It's not afraid to be campy. It doesn't give a single care if you find it too silly, it uses every classic superhero cliché and then some, while having lines like "You're out of your mind, Gobby!" and "We'll meet again, Spider-Man!" said completely seriously. These are movies where Spider-Man can swing around the city delivering *pizzas*, Peter dressed up like an emo/goth teen and dancing on the streets of New York for no reason and still have moments like The Green Goblin being impaled by his own glider or Dr. Octopus destroying his own machine because he realizes it's too dangerous. These movies are golden. Everything about them, from the heartwarming moments to the acting, is golden. Whereas the TASM duology just felt too boring and safe for my tastes, and way too dark and serious to actually be taken seriously. Hans Zimmer's phones in the second films' score aside from the main theme and debatably "My Enemy", which is odd since he's an amazing composer even on bad films, so you get the gist.


Technically speaking, the Raimi films are masterworks. Featuring stunning camerawork and surprisingly decent CGI for the time. Danny Elfman's score is fantastic. They're not perfect, however. Mary Jane getting kidnapped so often can become boring as a plot device, and the third film ruined Venom as a character. Overall, a solid 9/10.
Last edited by Harry Johnathan on Sat Oct 16, 2021 4:16 am, edited 3 times in total.
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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Harry Johnathan
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Re: Movie Revue with Rydr Warklub

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THE WIZARD OF OZ (1925)
Starring Larry Semon, Dorothy Dawn, G. Howe Black, Oliver Hardy and Fredrick Ko-Vert
Music by Robert Israel Produced by Frank Baum, Jr.
Screenplay by Larry Semon
Distributed by Chadwick Pictures, Inc. Based on the novel "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" by L. Frank Baum.
Rated PG.
They don't look very happy...
They don't look very happy...
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Oh boy, this film was a mixed bag.

Larry Semon's The Wizard of Oz has the honor of being the first feature-length adaptation of The Wizard of Oz novel. Except it actually isn't, because the entire plot is replaced with a new one where Dorothy (played by Dorothy Dawn, ha!) is a long lost princess to Oz, now depicted as a random micronation, and is taken there via airplane by Oz's ruler Prime Minister Kruel (basically a male Wicked Witch of the West), along with her 3 suitors, Larry Semon, Oliver Hardy (before he met Stan Laurel and became a comedy superstar) and a racist sharecropper caricature named "Snowball". Her suitors don costumes made of trash, being this film's equivalent of The Scarecrow, Lion and Tin-Man, and battle for Dorothy's heart while she rules over Oz with this random guy called Prince Kynd, who she instantly falls in love with despite their lack of chemistry, and the actual Wizard, who is depicted as a racist old man who has a thing for crossdressers, who used to be a carnival barker and sells snake oil and hits children with his cane. After a sword battle with the Tin-Man and Dorothy's abusive Uncle Henry, Larry the Scarecrow attempts to escape the Oz police via a passing bi-plane but dies after falling off; Dorothy meanwhile marries Prince Kynd and has Kruel placed in the dungeon after he attempts to make moves on her. The film is a mess, and was a giant box-office bomb and has been savaged by critics for it's casual racism and misogny, it's long stretches of unfunny slapstick humor, it's nonseniccal plot and lack of fidelty to the original Oz books. The film bankrupted it's star, Larry Semon, and is largely forgotten now.
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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Harry Johnathan
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Re: Movie Revue

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BATMAN FOREVER
Starring VAL KILMER, NICOLE KIDMAN, CHRIS O' DONNELL, JIM CARREY, TOMMY LEE JONES, ELIZABETH SANDERS, PAT HINGLE & MICHAEL GOUGH
Music by ELLIOT GOLDENTHAL Producers MICHAEL E. USLAN & BENJAMIN MELINKER based on the DC comics by BOB KANE & BILL FINGER screenplay by AKIVIA GOLDSMAN directed by JOEL SCHUMACHER
Rated PG-13 for action and nudity
Heh heh
Heh heh
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Not as bad as people make it out to be. Some make it out to be a horrid film on par with "The Room", but this is not the case. The effects are amazing for 1997, especially the fluid CGI, and it treats Batman good as a character, giving viewers a layered Bruce Wayne for the first time. The pacing is also fantastic, the film is over 2 hours long but feels like only one. Goldenthal's score somehow manages to be just as good as Elfman's, Kidman and Kilmer have a well done romance, Chris O' Donnell is a great Robin and is a well rounded teen character, with various interests and dreams and not being overly whiny or sullen (until the next film that is...) and Jim Carrey is hilarious as usual. Only real gripes are Two Face... Tommy Lee Jones phones it in in what amounts to a pathetic attempt to steal Carrey's spotlight as the hammy villain. The script does him no favors, reducing the character to an uninteresting one-dimensional bad guy and wasting the tragic story of Harvey Dent from the comics. Another thing that bothered me was that the film can be too dark to see at times, especially during the finale. And the film has a strange clashing tone, with cheery extras and cheesy one-liners while retaining the gothic designs from Tim Burton's Batman films. Overall, I liked it a lot and like to recite some of the film's goofier lines from time to time. A solid piece of entertainment and a worthy addition to the Batman franchise. Overall, solid 8/10. And R.I.P to the late Joel Schumacher out of respect and to be completely transparent.
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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