Housepets!

"I don't mean to be rude, but we probably don't need you here for most of this. we basically know what we're doing."
"No you don't."
"That is a fair point."

*Mutes screaming* "Is anybody here actually qualified for their job?"
"No, That's kinda our shtick."
"...the thought of seeing your budget fills me with dread."

"Oh good, my dog found the chainsaw!"

“Look, I'm sorry, but tearing apart the fabric of the universe is not a dismissible offence! Now please let me go!”

"So let me get this straight. You want to fly on a magic carpet to see the King of the Potato People and plead with him for your freedom, and you're telling me you're completely sane?"

“Turns out to defeat Darkness, you just need to throw massive shade.”

"This the way the world ends, not with a bang but with an … oops, ohnoohnoohnoohnoohnoohnoohnoohnoohnoohnoohno !!!!!"

“There’s barely any conflict, since the necro-cow is too powerful for the stepmother to adequately combat.”

"Chocolate may not make everything right but it makes everything else irrelevant."

“Now get on your flying boat and stop a crazy dwarf vampire from committing election fraud!”

“So many complex emotions, just be hungry or dead.”

"And it's serious enough that i'm throwing a fish at it. That's when you know it's really serious."

"behold, the ceremonial dueling fish!"

"Insomnia, it's amazing!"

"always... The birds... Forever... the birds..."

That second quote reminded me of Dr. Weird from ATHF.

Please bring back ATHF [adult swim].

"I don't care if it's a 'her' or a 'him', I'm hungry."
"What a savage."

“Listen: making puzzles is hard, and it's a lot easier to assume something annoying is going to happen directly above you in a hundred years.“

“You're exhausted, I can read your brainwaves with my fancy robot eyes.”
“Really?”
“Of course not. The mere fact that you'd believe that tells me you're in no shape for field work right now.”

I think we found the one time where being on fire is a good thing.

“Maybe civilization wouldn't have ended if everyone wasn't so busy unboxing new phones all the time and leaving them strewn around the countryside.“

“Insert witty comment here during post production.”

"Busting feeding frenzy. Stay out of the water."

“Oh my god, I got jumpscared by myself!”

“Don’t trust anyone, especially not snake-hands Jimmy. His hands are snakes.”

"I think it was the Halloween after the bunny"

"A bird in the hand worth two in the bush unless it's a Great Blue Heron."

“The only good thing about April 1 is, if I ever want to commit a crime, I just have to do it in a really bizarre way, like rob a bank while dressed like Jesus Christ. Then I know the cops will never show up, especially when they learn I escaped by water skiing.”

"so, i drunkenly sang karaoke so bad, that i released the apocalypse."

“Do you take hands?”
“This isn’t Necromart ma’am.”

"I don't know what happened, i think i became a Pokemon and flushed someone down a washing machine."

"Friends don't shoot friends"

"Well, when you challenge Death, just remember: he's not very good at karaoke."

"We're down to the final event of the deathcathilon. it's worth three points, so it's still anyones battle to win."
"Then why bother doing the other two?"
"Ratings."

She felt her thoughts arrest themselves for a moment, because is that dog drunk? was not a thought she’d ever expected to have.

"You're FACE is a useless freak!"

“I'm in a public beef with an unsanctioned Japanese otter. I needed this.”

"We have...

Myamoto's boy. Donkey. Legolas. all curves. all edge. Gadzuki. The one that got away. Samantha. A digimon. Myamoto's mistake. The nintendo entertainment system system. Bart Lemming. Kirby's Mum. Friend Zone. A Zombie survival game. Biff Tanon. these two banging or brother and sister or what? Shrek. The Wind Fish. Not a Doctor. A Yokai. Birdo. Every anime Character. How tumblr draws every anime character. the best character dont @ me. Statler ant. Darth vader. Is this really the best fire emblem can bring? what? ___ you, that's Marth again! Nuclear Shadow. Fourth wall breaker. Cherubim. Seraphim. No there's definitely a suit there. Dadcubed. (! sound effect) Seriously... Seriously... Dog Fighter. Monkey shirt (uninteligable). original sin. bill Clinton. never hire a stuttering bishop for your coronation. Mysterio. Ultra instinct sonic. _____ old _______. breath of the child. everyones favorite gladiator. horribly in debt. Chastity belt. I'd super smash that if you know what i'm saying. Fashion is it more important than depth perception? a small computer. I literally don't know. the neck strength on her! people would change, scratch out the p turn it into an F. oh, white hair now. how original. Shrek... uh... again. Doctor rob-AWWWW-tnik. we all shot that dog. EYEBROWS. even his gloves have pecs. Backed up online. Oh for ______ sake just TRY! Mum?! Banksy. the real Theresa May. what the twilght films needed. undo those belts and his his arms fall off. Killer Croc. Her birthday is 20th of december, don't ask me how I know that. Demon balor. john. me. and finally, Simon Peg."

“Blowing people up is satisfying, but... sometimes you just want more. So, I've developed an attack I call "The Nicolas Cage Cage": I surround my enemy with angry bees, leaving them trapped in a stinging galaxy while I pelt them with magic.”

“If you don’t like raw aggression, you shouldn’t be working at Build a Bear Workshop.”

"You look like a UPS driver who refuses to wear brown!"

“This was meant to be a simple team building exercise to design the ideal paper airplane.”
”Technically that’s what we did.”
“It has a warp drive, Ben!”

"A giant mushroom, maybe it's friendly?"