Rick Griffin's Dracula

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Harry Johnathan
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Rick Griffin's Dracula

Post by Harry Johnathan »

Dracula - Maxwell
Johnathan Harker - Res
Mina - Grape
Lucy - Sasha
Dr. Jack Seward - Miles
Martin - Ralph
Quincey - Kevin
Arthur - Fox
Van Helsing - Keene
Renfield - Delusional Steve
Mrs. Westen - Lucretia
The Gypsies - The Opener Cult
Dracula's Sisters - Mr. Bigglesworth
Dracula's Rats: The Neighbourhood Mice
The Nuns: Sabrina, Tarot and Daisy
And Introducing: Peanut as Dracula's Pet Dragon! (?)
Last edited by Harry Johnathan on Sat Dec 19, 2020 11:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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Harry Johnathan
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Re: Let's Imaginate: 'Bram Stoker's Dracula!'

Post by Harry Johnathan »

JeHoVah
SCENE + A HOTEL
RES: (enters hotel, as everyone inside starts brawling like maniacs and drinking Orange Soda) This certainly looks like a family establishment. (One dog crashes through a table) Okay, maybe not.

INNKEEPER: We don't serve your kind here.

RES: Incredibly nervous writers who have never acted in their entire lives?

PEANUT: (Off panel) Res, stay focused.

INNKEEPER: No, cats. (Points to sign)

RES: What if I got the Queen of England to vouch for me?

INNKEEPER: You know Queen Elizabeth?

RES: No, I meant the Canadian Penny.

INNKEEPER: Oh.
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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Amazee Dayzee
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Re: Let's Imaginate: 'Bram Stoker's Dracula!'

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

This looks really great so far! I hope that you continue to write it!
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Harry Johnathan
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Re: Let's Imaginate: 'Bram Stoker's Dracula!'

Post by Harry Johnathan »

SCENE - WHITBY, ENGLAND
GRAPE (V.O.): I fear for my beloved Jonathan, who is currently on a mission for the Godalming Company, selling land to a eccentric Count Dracula. I heard many nasty rumors about Transylvania. Let us pray they are not true.

SABRINA: They're not. I've been there.

PEANUT: Sab, shoosh!

(Flashback time!)

REX: Re- er, Jonathan. I have heard that our previous clerk, Milo Renfield, has gone bonkers.

DELUSIONAL STEVE: (In a cell) I can hear smells!

RES: I believe it.

REX: Anywho, I'm sending you to visit Dracula in Renfield's place. Succeed on your mission, and I'll promote you to executive office. It's basically the same as your current position, but you get to use catnip indoors, yell at people and sit on a swivel chair.

RES: Gee, thanks!

GRAPE: I can't for see anything going horribly wrong

(Flashback ends)

RES: Can you hurry with my food order, I must hurry if I wish to get to Dracula's castle before nightfall!

INNKEEPER: Dracula? I heard many rumors about that man, I must advise you to stay away.

RES: But the swivel chair!

INNKEEPER: Forget the swivel chair! Your life is at stake!

DOG: Ha, ha stake!

RES: But the catnip!

INNKEEPER: Alright, go. But please, take this cross!

TRINKET: Ooh, shiny!

PEANUT: Get outta here, Trinket! Shoo.

SCENE - Dracula's Castle

MAXWELL: Hello, friend. I am Dracul-

RES: Dude, what is up with your hair?

MAXWELL: What? What's wrong with it

RES: It looks like a baboon's butt

MAXWELL: Egads! You're right. I must fire my hair stylist immediately

SCENE - THE TAPESTRY Room

MAXWELL: Since THE rest of the castle is in utter disrepair, I'm afraid you'll have to sleep here.

RES: WHY don't you fix the Castle?

MAXWELL: Because this place sucks and I wanna leave. Is that so hard to understand?

(As Res sleeps, three Vampire maidens converge upon him.)

BIGGLESWORTH: Ooh, I wanna eat him first!

BIGGLESWORTH: Hey, I called dibs

BIGGLESWORTH: No, I called dibs

BIGGLESWORTH: Is he single

DRACULA: That man belongs to me!

BIGGLESWORTH: That... Can be taken many ways.

DRACULA: Shut up and eat this baby I found!

RES: (wakes up) Oh, hey I'm awake! AHHHH

DRACULA: Oh poop.

SCENE - WHITBY

SASHA: I'm sure John is fine.

GRAPE: I hope you're right. This letter he wrote me is kinda strange.

THE LETTER: (Mina honey, help me I'm being held hostage by vampires who want to take over England-)

SASHA: Yep, nothing weird here!
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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Harry Johnathan
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Re: Let's Imaginate: 'Bram Stoker's Dracula!'

Post by Harry Johnathan »

SCENE - DRACULA'S CASTLE

DRACULA: Mr. Harker, now that you have discovered my plan, you must die! The Weird Sisters will feed on you as I leave for London.

RES: Welp. This was life. I give it 3 stars.

BIGGLESWORTH: Let's hope he doesn't notice the incredibly easy to escape he in the wall- oops.

(RES escapes.)

SCENE - the ST. Demeter

CAPTAIN V.O: This is the captain of the St. Demeter. We are currently bringing 50 boxes of soil to London.
Incredibly strange events have been taking place lately...

(Dracula attacks and eats several sailors)

CAPTAIN V.O: Eh, nothing too serious

SCENE - DR. Seward's sanitarium

MILES: The case of Renfield grows odder everyday.

DELUSIONAL STEVE: I smell music! WOooo

MILES: As all good doctors know, there is only one way to truly understand the mind of a mad man.

(MILES reaches for an orange soda)

MILES: And that's to get as intoxicated as possible

DELUSIONAL STEVE: Wow, you're a terrible doctor!

MILES: I know

SCENE - WHITBY

SASHA: It's so hard being me. Ever since I sent out that notice over 400 suitors have tried to court me.

GRAPE: Lucy, it's only three.

(RALPH, KEVIN and FOX are having a battle)

SASHA: I don't see the difference

GRAPE: (V.O) I hope Jonathan returns soon. His absence worries me deeply. Also, he's the one who cooks, and Mrs. Westena's cooking disturbs me.

LUCRETIA: I never knew how difficult it would be to fry a live chicken!

SASHA: It's not supposed to be live!

LUCRETIA: Ow, it bit me!

WHAT CHICKEN: (Gives Lucretia and Peanut the death glare before going off on it's angry way)

PEANUT: I blame Karishad for this.

SCENE - A CONVENT IN ROMANIA

SABRINA: (writing to Grape) Dear Miss Mina. Jonathan is currently housed at our convent. He fears that you are in danger, and requests your presence in Romania so you may wed.

GRAPE (In Whitby reading telegram): Gee, and I was just getting used to the idea of breaking up. I wish it wasn't the 1890s so I could get divorced!

SASHA: Achoo!

RES: (being cared for by DAISY and TAROT) Also, tell her about the awesome massage parlor next door.
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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Re: Let's Imaginate: 'Bram Stoker's Dracula!'

Post by NHWestoN »

Rydr Warklub wrote: Thu Nov 12, 2020 4:20 pm Dracula - Maxwell
Johnathan Harker - Res
Mina - Grape
Lucy - Sasha
Dr. Jack Seward - Miles
Martin - Ralph
Quincey - Kevin
Arthur - Fox
Van Helsing - Keene
Renfield - Delusional Steve
Mrs. Westen - Lucretia
The Gypsies - The Opener Cult
Dracula's Sisters - Mr. Bigglesworth
Dracula's Rats: The Neighbourhood Mice
The Nuns: Sabrina, Tarot and Daisy
And Introducing: Peanut as Dracula's Pet Dragon! (?)

Love the casting!
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Obbl
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Re: Let's Imaginate: 'Bram Stoker's Dracula!'

Post by Obbl »

This is an absolute barrel of laughs! :lol:
Thanks for sharing it with us :D
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Amazee Dayzee
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Re: Let's Imaginate: 'Bram Stoker's Dracula!'

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

I can't wait to see what you come up with next! Awesome!
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Re: Let's Imaginate: 'Bram Stoker's Dracula!'

Post by trekkie »

You’re doing very well so far, love Max and Res in their parts. Keep up the good work!
“Freedom has cost too much blood and agony to be relinquished at the cheap price of rhetoric.” - Thomas Sowell

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Harry Johnathan
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Re: Let's Imaginate: 'Bram Stoker's Dracula!'

Post by Harry Johnathan »

SCENE - THE WESTEN MANSION

LUCY: Mother, I feel exceptionally sick.

LUCRETIA: I'm sure it's nothing, sweetheart

LUCY: Mom, a creepy Vampire man is biting my neck.

DRACULA: Yum!

LUCRETIA: That just means he loves you!

SCENE - THE LONDON UNIVERSITY

KEENE: Vampire bats are responsible for many blood diseases plaguing my country today-

BAT: Hey!

MILES: Prof. Van+Helsing! My daughter Lucy has gone done with a strange illness, and I'm afraid we need your assistance!

KEENE: Thank goodness I just happen to be in town!

MILES: We're very lucky to have you.

SCENE - WHITBY

(We see that John has bought a fancy new house)

RES: Now that we're married Mina, we can move in!

GRAPE: Oh, Johnny! It looks wonderful!

DELUSIONAL STEVE: Feed me, Seward! Feed me!

GRAPE: Even though it's next door to the Insane Asylum

MAXWELL: Hello, friends! I'm your new neighbor, Alucard

RES: Say, you look awfully familiar.

MAXWELL: (Slaps off butthair wig) What? No I don't

RES: Hmm. Must have been your accent

MAXWELL: Indeed

DELUSIONAL STEVE: The master has arrived

MAXWELL: Shut up Renfield, You'll blow my cover.

RES + GRAPE: ?

MAXWELL: Oopsie daisy. Pretend I said nothing
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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Harry Johnathan
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Re: Let's Imaginate: 'Bram Stoker's Dracula!'

Post by Harry Johnathan »

JeHoVah
SCENE - WESTEN MANSION

SASHA: My beloved suitors. I wish I could marry all of you, but unfortunately now I cannot marry of you because I'm dying.

THE SUITORS: Aw!

KEENE: Lucy, do you know how you got these bites?

SASHA: If I did, I would've told you already.

KEENE: Lucy, I'm afraid tha- Oh, wait. You're dead

SCENE - THE SEWARD ASYLUM

DELUSIONAL STEVE: The master is in London!

MILES: Who's the master?

DELUSIONAL STEVE: Dracula!

MILES: Who's Dracula?

DELUSIONAL STEVE: The man across the street!

MILES: No, that's Alucard

DELUSIONAL STEVE: Dracula!

MILES: Alucard!

DELUSIONAL STEVE: Dracula

MILES: Alucard

DELUSIONAL STEVE: Dracula

MILES: It's no use arguing with you, is it?

PEANUT: It really isn't

SCENE - THE GRAVEYARD

LUCRETIA: I can't believe it? Lucy, dead

GRAPE: I know, right

JOHNATHAN: She was a dear friend.

MAXWELL: My apologies, Madam Mina

GRAPE: It's not your fault she's dead, Mr. Alucard.

MAXWELL: (Chuckles) That's what You thinK...

MINA: What?

MAXWELL: I said nothing

SCENE - THE WESTEN MANSION

KEENE: We have reason to believe that Lucy is now a vampire that feeds on the youth.

SASHA: Yummy puppies!

ROCK, ACE and ROOK: Help!

KEENE: We must take her in the heart before it's too late! Seward, Martin, Arthur and Quincey, come along. Mina, you stay here with Mrs. Westen.

GRAPE: Why me? I'm just as capable as you guys

KEENE: I know, but we need a damsel in distress.

GRAPE: Rats!

PEANUT: Stay, and I'll give you a doggy biscuit.

GRAPE: .......

SCENE - THE ASYLUM

DELUSIONAL STEVE: So, anyway. Dracula promised me eternal life in-

RATS: Yawn!

DELUSIONAL STEVE: You guys suck!

SCENE - THE GRAVEYARD

KEENE: Lucy!

SASHA: Rats! (Frees puppies)

VAN+HELSING: Begone from us, you fiend! We cast you out, from Shadow into Light! Harm us no more, you vile villain!

LUCY: (crying) That's mean-

KEENE: Seward, stake her!

SEWARD: (Throws a cooked stake at Lucy, which kills her)

DRACULA: (Watching from afar) Ouch.
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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Harry Johnathan
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Re: Let's Imaginate: 'Bram Stoker's Dracula!'

Post by Harry Johnathan »

JeHoVah
SCENE - THE WESTEN MANSION
MAXWELL: Madam Mina! You have a choice! Either poor Miss Westen's life goes bye bye, or you become my vampiric bride and live with me in Transylvania!

GRAPE: I could never marry a vile fiend like you!

MAXWELL: I won't make you sign a pre-nup

MINA: W-

RES: Stop, Dracula!

MAXWELL: Rats! I must flee!

KEENE: He's heading to the harbor! Quick, we must stop him before he heads back to Transylvania!

SCENE - THE ST. DEMETER

KEENE: It's the end of the line, Count Dracula!

THE GYPSIES (Bound and gagged by Lucy's Suitors) Hmph!

KEENE: Either we kill your beloved gyspies, or you surrender and let us finish you off!

DRACULA: Go, ahead! Kill me of you dare! But you'll have to face the wrath of my fearsome dragon!

PEANUT/DRAGON: ROAR!

KEENE: (Laughing hysterically) Really, now?

DRACULA: What?

KEENE: It looks freakin' goofy! ha ha h-

(The Dragon kills Van+Helsing)

KEENE: Ow. I'm dead.

MAXWELL: Now what will you heroes do?!

RES: Oh, look. A big UV flashlight.

MAXWELL: Ah, no! My weakness: sunlight!

(Dracula dies)

RES: Talk about a bad tan!

SCENE - THE ASYLUM

(Renfield and the Rats are playing D&D when...)

RENFIELD: No! The master is dead!

RATS: Yeah yeah. Are you going roll a 7 or not?

DELUSIONAL STEVE: You guys suck.

SCENE - WHITBY

GRAPE: We did it! We killed him!

RES: Yeah, through dumb luck.

GRAPE: At least we won't have any mor-

(The dragon, now being commanded by Renfield and the Rats, bursts into the mansion, killing everyone and escaping)

RENFIELD: I AM DRACULA!

RATS: Sure you are. Can we destroy the exterminator's office, next?

DELUSIONAL STEVE: You guys suck.

PEANUT: I'm an artistic genius.

FIN(?)
Last edited by Harry Johnathan on Fri Nov 13, 2020 10:39 am, edited 1 time in total.
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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Re: Let's Imaginate: 'Bram Stoker's Dracula!'

Post by NHWestoN »

Stark!
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Amazee Dayzee
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Re: Let's Imaginate: 'Bram Stoker's Dracula!'

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

This was a really nice read! You did a good job!
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Re: Let's Imaginate: 'Bram Stoker's Dracula!'

Post by Obbl »

I love the tone of this! It fits in so well with the personality of imaginate sessions :lol:
Excellent work, thanks again for letting us read it :D
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Re: Let's Imaginate: 'Bram Stoker's Dracula!'

Post by Harry Johnathan »

Thank you all for your support!
END CREDITS
WRITTEN AND DIRECTED by
Peanut Sandwich
CAMERA+WORK BY
Rock Milton
BASED ON THE NOVEL DRACULA by
BRAM STOKER
WITH SCENES LOVINGLY STOLEN Borrowed from THE PLAY BY HAMILTON DEANE
BIBLICAL QUOTATIONS FROM A SCENE WE CUT OUT COPYRIGHT..... GOD, I GUESS?
CARDBOARD PROVIDED BY
ACME CORPORATION
BUDGET HANDLED BY
That Creepy Badger down the Street
LOCATION SCOUTING
By Poncho and Trinket
SETS BUILT BY
The Good Ol' Dog's Club
FUNDING BY
The Milton Company
TECHNICAL ADVISOR
Grape Sandwich
CATERING
Jill and Earl Sandwich
CASTING
Peanut Sandwich
EDITING
Rex Halloway
And special thanks to SPO and SQUEAK for convincing the rats we weren't trying to eat them!
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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Amazee Dayzee
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Re: Let's Imaginate: 'Bram Stoker's Dracula!'

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

The credits there are really funny. Glad you did this!
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Re: Let's Imaginate: 'Bram Stoker's Dracula!'

Post by CunningFox »

Great casting and very witty.
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Re: Let's Imaginate: 'Bram Stoker's Dracula!'

Post by NHWestoN »

We always sit through all the credits. Besides the occasional "surprise" at the end, it's kind of a way to pay respects to all the folks who contributed their labors.

... Or wake up.
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