[Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again) Edit: Part 5 online now

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[Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again) Edit: Part 5 online now

Post by Invisan »

The last time we saw Fox in Heaven he met two nice girls.
(Since Rick never told us their Names im trying to make some up ^^)

After returning back to earth and on the way to the Battle you can see two pins on Fox´s Bandana. One Pink and one Light Green like the two girls he met.
In the continuation of the Story by Rick we see that the two girls tried to call him but he hung up on them since he didn`t know that it was them calling and he didn`t knew the number.

This Story takes place after Fox and the others went back to Babylon Gardens.


It`s a rough night and its stormy outside. Fox awakens from the shutter bouncing against and off the wall. He opens the Window and closes the shutter while still sleepy.

Fox: "Grmbl. Lousy night. Lousy sleep. Back to bed..."

After he went back to bed he falls asleep again.
In his dreams the two girls show up again and he sees the scene after they tried to call him.


On the next day.

Fox meets King and Bailey on the Sidewalk while on his way to the K9`s Training Facility.

Fox: Hey King do you have a second? I have a question i need to ask you.
King: Sure why not?
Fox: You remember our trip to Heaven?
King: Yes i do.
Fox: Could you tell me what happened there and especially what i did there?
King: Well this is a bit more complex. If you have some spare time after work we can surely discuss this. Meet me at the Wolves House when your ready.


A few hours later at the Wolves House.

*knock knock*

Miles opens the door.

Miles: Hey Fox. Nice to see you. How can i help you?
Fox: Hey Miles. Im searching for King is he home yet?
Miles: Sure come in. Hey kids could you play somewhere else? And could one of you get King?

A few minutes and Bitemarks later.

King: Hey Fox you made it. Lets get to a more silent area where we can talk.

After they arrived at Kings Room.

King: So first tell me what you remember from our trip to Heaven.
Fox: I dont know that correctly anymore like i told you before it feels kind of fuzzy. I only remember that it felt like i was welcome and it felt like being home in the Barn where i was born. And i feel like i met someone important of my life but cant remember who... And it makes me feel kind of sad since it seems important...
King: Well we were in Heaven so you... Well how shall i put it. You felt home cause you met your mother there.
Fox: Hmm well that explains something but it makes me even more sad cause i cant remember it.
King: Well at least you were happy as long as we stayed since you met someone else there.
Fox: Who?
King: Err... Well this has to do with the Cassanova thing i mentioned *cough*
Well you met two gorgeous Girls up there. The fur from the one was green and from the other one was pink.
There names were Grace and Pixie. They seemed quite interessted in you. And it seemed you liked them too.
Fox: Hmm that doesnt really sound like me...
King: Well you were quite happy and enjoyed there company. Btw since when do you have those two Buttons on your Bandana? They have exact the same color as Grace and Pixie...
Fox: Oh i dont know. It feels like forever but since you mention it. I guess it was when we came back from Heaven...
And its weird if i touch them it feels as if something of me wants to remember something but i cant grep that memory...
King: Maybe the Girls gave them to you so you would remember them. Who knows? To find out i guess you have to get back to Heaven.
Fox: But how? I cant even remember how we got there the first time.
King: Well i guess i know just the Person we have to talk to there for.


End of Part 1.

(I hope you like the story thus far. If you have some ideas or corrections (grammar wise) just tell me ^^ Im not the best when it comes to grammar ^^ )
Last edited by Invisan on Wed Jul 01, 2015 8:24 am, edited 3 times in total.
My Fan-Fic Fox goes to Heaven (again)

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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Invisan »

Well you asked for it and i shall deliver ^^

Im gonna try to consider everything and hope you like part 2.
After we watched what Fox and King where up to in part 1 we are now going to change the Location to heaven and see what Grace and Pixie are up to.



Meanwhile in Heaven.

"Hey Grace, what do you think is he doing right now?" Pixie asks while resting her Head on her Hands.
"Well at least not answering my calls." Grace says while staring at the Display of her Phone half sad and half angry.
"And i thought he was such a Gentledog. He was a bit shy first when i talked to him, but god he know how to behave."
"WHO MENTIONED MY NAME?" A Loud Voice asks in Grace and Pixies heads.
"Oh sorry. I didn`t meant it that way. It`s just a saying. But since you are already listening maybe you could help us? You remember the Dog who was here with the Guy turned to Dog? Could you help us contacting him? He is not answering our calls."
"SORRY BUT THAT IS NOT IN MY POWER. BESIDES CONTACT BETWEEN HEAVEN AND EARTH IS FORBIDDEN AND YOU TWO KNOW THAT. AFTER HE LEFT HEAVEN HE FORGOT MOSTLY OF WHAT HAPPENED HERE. AND THE THINGS HE REMEMBERS ARE JUST VAGUE LIKE A DREAM."
"Awwww come on Kitsune. That`s so not fair. He was almost perfect. Why couldn`t he stay with us a bit longer?"
"Ladies, Ladies. You know how old you are in comparison to him. His time had not come yet. Also he was just a guest of King."
"Ahhh come on Kitsune. Who better then you knows that love knows no age? Or do you want to say the 300 decades difference between you and Dragon are just a tiny thing?"
"Whoa whoa. Careful there. Now your just being mean Pixie. When it comes to that i shouldnt even be allowed to tell you that in no way i gave fox two dream receivers. And i absolutely should not be allowed to tell you that you can contact him when he is sleeping so you could keep contact since im that generous. But nope im not telling you nothing."

Grace and Pixie look at each other and seem to be caught a bit of guard. They neither now if they should be happy now or just perplex. That was the last thing they hoped would happen.

"Y... You mean... We couldve been able to contact him all the time?" Grace stutters.

"Nope i never said nothing like that officially. And i also never told you and will tell you that he rejected your Phonecalls because he didnt know who called him. Cause that are the rules and we dont play against the rules. Have a nice day you two and i see you around." says Kitsune.

Grace and Pixie look at each other overwhelmed first but then start to glare at each other happily.

"So he wasn`t rude after all. He just didnt know we where calling." Grace mumbles while having a slight thinking look on her face. "What do you think Pixie? How are we supposed to use the dream receivers? How can we contact him?"

Grace looks a bit worried after that last sentence. While seeing the worry on Graces face Pixie hugs her and tells her "I have no clue Grace. But i know something. If the dog wont come to the bone. The bone has to get to the dog." Grace looks questioningly at Pixie. "What do you mean with that? You think we... No Pixie! You know thats neither allowed nor possible." "Why not? Dragon, Pete and Kitsune do it all the time? Why should we not be allowed to do it?" "B... Because!" "Oh for dog`s sake. Now you are just playing dumb Grace. I will try it with or without you."


>>>>PART 3<<<<



Well i hope i took your suggestions to good use. It`s 4:12 am in good ol Germany so i will head to bed now. Next part will hopefully be ready somewhen next week. Since i have the whole week off work i should be able to get something together ^^
Last edited by Invisan on Tue Jun 02, 2015 2:11 pm, edited 3 times in total.
My Fan-Fic Fox goes to Heaven (again)

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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Saturn381 »

Nice job, Invisan. Can't wait to see more.
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Buster »

The 'chat log' format is a bit grating, but it's an interesting concept.
Most important thing I've learned from D&D?
No matter how tempting it may be, as a DM I can't both present a problem and solve it.
Every time a DMPC or NPC fixes something a payer couldn't i'm diminishing and undermining that player's contribution.
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Invisan »

Well i thought the overview might be better that way. Since that much text in a conversation tends to loose the reader and to cause some serious trouble staying in the right reading order.
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Obbl »

We're all readers here. We like to read stories, and while this format certainly makes it easy to read the dialogue, we also don't get any of the little details between the spoken words that can make a conversation really sparkle. :D
Your grammar is pretty decent. Don't worry too much on that front, our most prolific fanficcers at one point were Italian and Polish, so we're used to a little non-standard English ;) (...or... I am at least. These young whippersnappers may not be as used to it. I don't know :P )
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Buster »

I'm more used to seeing bits of Spanish pop up, but yeah, same idea.
Most important thing I've learned from D&D?
No matter how tempting it may be, as a DM I can't both present a problem and solve it.
Every time a DMPC or NPC fixes something a payer couldn't i'm diminishing and undermining that player's contribution.
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Invisan »

Thx for your comments Obbl and Buster.

Imho it was enough at least for me that Fox said what he was feeling. But i can surely add more feelings without the talking like "xy looks depressed" or something if thats what you meant with it.
I never felt it was needed though since i was reading it like you were directly a part of the conversation. But i guess that comes if you create subtitle for series all the time. You tend to forget to describe the scene better since you mostly see the total scene either on your screen or in this case your inner eye.
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Buster »

Take this section for example,
Invisan wrote:It`s a rough night and its stormy outside. Fox awakens from the shutter bouncing against and off the wall. He opens the Window and closes the shutter while still sleepy.

Fox: "Grmbl. Lousy night. Lousy sleep. Back to bed..."

After he went back to bed he falls asleep again.
Had I written it it would go more like:
It's a rough night, a storm howls outside as fox tries to sleep. One of the shutters clatters against the wall waking him.

Grumbling to himself the sleepy dog goes to close it.

"Lousy night, lousy sleep... Back to bed." He mutters, heading back to his bed, asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.
It's not what you write, it's how you've formatted it. What you have looks like it came from Skype rather than a book.
Most important thing I've learned from D&D?
No matter how tempting it may be, as a DM I can't both present a problem and solve it.
Every time a DMPC or NPC fixes something a payer couldn't i'm diminishing and undermining that player's contribution.
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Invisan »

I will try to consider it for part two. I already have a slight idea how to geht rid of the "Skype"style though ^^
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

Nice job on this so far! I look forward to more!
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Invisan »

Thx :) I hope i will have part two ready by the end of this week.
Depends how much im in the mood for writing ^^
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Invisan »

Part two is now live directly beyond part 1 https://www.housepetscomic.com/forums/v ... 80#p683580
My Fan-Fic Fox goes to Heaven (again)

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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Buster »

It's an improvement.

It still has a rather terrible case of talking head syndrome, but at least the story's formatting flows a little better. Apart from the absence of proper paragraphs anyway, but you're getting there.
Might want to work on the balance between dialogue and description now.

for example, is kitsune just standing there as he talks, or is he doing something? is your version of him the type to make emphatic gestures as he speaks? is his tone calm, cheeky, nervous, rushed? Does he change tones between sentences? does he break into his trademark grin at any point? what are the girls up to? are the characters thinking about anything worth mentioning? where are they? I mean, i know they're in heaven, but that's like saying king is in North America. Where specifically? is there anyone else around who isn't speaking? is it day or night? are they in a quiet environment or a loud one? does anyone have facial expressions? like at all? are there any unspoken messages being passed via body language? Is one of them pretending to be a mythical animal, or a space whale, or some random other thing today?

dialogue alone can't answer these questions without a lot of 'as you know' speak, and 'Capitan Obvious' comments, which come off as stilted extremely easily. they're things you don't have to think about when subtitling visual media, because the pictures do that part for you, but in written form it's entirely necessary, other wise everything just leaves your audience feeling less like they're reading about actual characters, and more just a collection of talking heads.
Most important thing I've learned from D&D?
No matter how tempting it may be, as a DM I can't both present a problem and solve it.
Every time a DMPC or NPC fixes something a payer couldn't i'm diminishing and undermining that player's contribution.
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by The-J-Man »

i implore you to read other people's Fan-fics @Invasion so that you can not only get inspired, but see how descriptive the writing needs to be.
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Invisan »

Thx for your Input again Buster.

@The-J-Man yeah already done that. But its kinda hard to recreate the exact same feeling ^^

Guess im gonna prewrite the stories in my native Language German rather then creating them directly in english. Maybe i can grab a better feel then. Since for a non native Speaker i guess its kinda hard to write stuff directly while creating the story at whole while writing ^^
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Buster »

as a general rule, if your paragraphs are averaging less than 50/50 between dialogue and thoughts vs descriptions and actions, you're probably leaving something out that you shouldn't. there are certainly exceptions to that, but most of the good stories either keep the balance or lean toards more description than dialogue.
Most important thing I've learned from D&D?
No matter how tempting it may be, as a DM I can't both present a problem and solve it.
Every time a DMPC or NPC fixes something a payer couldn't i'm diminishing and undermining that player's contribution.
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Invisan »

Well well. Here we are now for part 3.

It took some more time then before but well. I hope it was worth the effort ^^ Since this is my 100 Post in the Forums. (Uhey Jubilee) I thought i wanted to give you something special. Something which hasnt been done before in the Fanfics (At least the ones i read yet ^^).


So here you go with Part 3 as Text Version



Since we now also know what the Girls where up to in the Meantime. We are now going back to earth and see what happens in Babylon Gardens now with the Part of King and Foxs Story.

After King and Fox finished there Story they leave Kings Room at the Wolves House and are now on there way to the Mansion of the Miltons.

After a more or less short time for walkies. They arrive at the Mansion of the Ferrets.
Jeeves opens almost instantly as if he was just waiting behind the door after they ring the bell.

"Hello Suh`s. Can i be of help to you two?"

"Hello Jeeves, we would like to speak to Keene. Is he there?"
"I am sad to inform you that Suh Keene is at the moment not able to talk to you. He is currently very busy with preparations for the big Fair."
"Hmm. Could we speak to Karishad then?"
After thinking for a few seconds Jeeves answers "I am afraid that i dont know anything about Master Karishads current whereabouts. But if you would like to have a seat here in the Foyer i will see what i can do for you. May i offer you some tea and cookies while you are waiting?"

Both Fox and King deny the generous offer. After Jeeves left both awkwardly examine the Foyer. "Wow King, i never even thought that the Ferrets have so much Money that they could pay for all of this. The Foyer is almost as big as my House." King and Fox walk a bit around before sitting on an awkwardly looking thing they think might be a bench right in front of a big fountain with some adornment cherubs. "It`s awkward. Even though i was Human once, i don`t know if what we are sitting on now is a bench or some kind of Art."

Both look a while around and discover more interesting and awkward stuff. One of them being a big group Image of the Ferrets in front of the Zoos Ferretcompound with Keene behind the glass pane hammering on it in rage.

"I wonder why Keene hasnt tore that one of the wall and beat the others whit it yet." "Ahh well. Keene has more effective ways to let them pay for that. And to be honest? I think he found it funny too after he finally was able to get home."

After some time Jeeve comes back. "I am afraid that i could not find Master Karishad. But Master Rock asured me that he was seen somewhere in the Garden near the Cave of the Opener. If you follow the way passing the pool and then right into the direction of the Tennis courts you should start hearing Explosions. While you get closer to them you should find a huge hedge turn then right till you reach the gate. After you reach it you should be at the cave within 10 Minutes."

With this advise King and Fox head on. After 10 Minutes they get closer to the Explosions. "Im curious whats exploding there... I should have asked Jeeves about that." "Oh well, while we are already here we could have a look and find out." With this words both head on right in the direction of which the Explosions are coming from.

After 10 more Minutes they reach their destination.


>>>>PART 4<<<<



Okay since the Forum wont let me put files up which are bigger then 256 KiB you find the surprise right here.
Last edited by Invisan on Tue Jun 02, 2015 2:10 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

Really great addition to the story so far! I love how this is coming out!
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Invisan »

Thx Dayzee :) How did you like the Surprise?
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

I can't download anything on this computer so I couldn't click on the link.
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Post by Invisan »

While Fox and King are searching for Karishad they heard some explosions. While they where searching for the reasons of the explosions the girls had a talk with Kitsune.

"Oh cmon Pixie. We can`t do that..." "Oh yes we can. If theres a bone there will always be a dog there trying to get it. Or dont you wanna see him again?" Grace hems and haws a bit before answering. "S-Sure i wanna see him again... But not like that. Just think how long we are already up here. We could just wait till he will be here too." Pixie looks at Grace a bit sad. "You know, you have a point there. But what if he falls in love again in that time? Do you think he will wait for us forever? That would be a really sad life. What if he forgets about us? I WANT to know! I want to know what WE mean to HIM!" Pixie pounds here paw on the desk in her room in anger. "And i want to know especially why he is rejecting our phone calls!"

While Pixie is getting angrier by the second and talks herself to fury, Grace tries to hide and calm Pixie down.

"Calm down. He wont forget us and i bet he has a valid reason why he is not answering our calls."
Pixie is still mad and answers "Ha, your just trying to sweet talk that to yourself. Stop being such a muffins and cookies dreamer! I WANT TO SPEAK TO HIM! NOW!" Grace looks very sad after that rant by Pixie before she answers "It may be. You know yourself that i want talk to him as much as you want it. But whats it worth to you? We could be kicked out of heaven!" "I will try whatever the cost is! With or without you!" "But didn`t you listen to Kitsune? We can talk with him in his dreams!"

Now Pixie is looking sad again. She looks to the ground before mumbling "Yes... Yes we could. But do you know how? Cause i muffins and cookies well dont..." Grace now looks at Pixie decidedly. "Thats true. But you know what? We wont find out if we just sit around and dont even try it. But i have another idea how we can get more infos about him. Maybe that will help us connecting to him while hes asleep."

Grace takes Pixies paw and pulls her out of the house. Pixie just looks at her baffled while running behind her without resisting to let her best friend pulling her around. "What are you doing? Where do you even wanna go?" Grace turns around a bit while they are progressing past the park. "I dont know the location yet. But we will find her. Fox talked about her almost all the time while he was here. He thinks highly of her. And if someone knows how he thinks its her." "You mean we are visiting HER?!" "Indeed i do."




Meanwhile on earth Fox and King finally reached their destination.

"Wow. I knew the Manor of the Ferrets was big. But i had no idea it was this big. That something like this even exists..."

Fox and King stare at two big lakes which are divided by a large wall. Fox opens his muzzle and closes it again while trying to find the right words. But he is to surprised to find them.

While both are standing there and watching the scenery they hear another explosion followed by a large splash where water splashes up and creates a rainbow in the air.

After some time standing there Fox finally is able to say something again. "What the hell is this King?"

King looks at him a bit confused. "If i wouldnt know better i would guess its a big real life Battleships game... But... thats... IMPOSSIBLE!"

While both still stand there watching the scenery a bit baffled they hear another explosion followed by a second one before they hear a voice saying "Hit and sunk."

"Awwwww Rock. You won again. Im starting to get bored playing Battleships with you. You win everytime we are playing." "Lana. I keep telling you to stop forming an L with your Battleships everytime we play. Otherwise it would be pretty challenging and you would have a chance to win yourself. Also, your not allowed to place them near each other too." "But... But... It looks so beautiful if they are forming an L plus it stands for Lana... Oh... Rock. Look there. We have guests." Lana turns around and waves her arms in the direction of King and Fox. "Hey guys. Do you wanna play some Battleships with us?" "Hi Lana, hi Rock. No sorry. We are searching for Karishad and just wanted to see what the reason for all those explosions was. Did you see him or do you know where he is?" After King shouted that into Lanas direction they hear a big horn sounding from the biggest Battleships on Rocks side of the wall. "Aww Rock. Your not playing fair here again. You have Karishad again as gunner. No wonder i loose all the time." Meanwhile Karishad is leaning out of the window of the ship hes on and waves to Fox and King happily.

Rock looks a bit puzzled. "But... I didnt choose him as gunner... Im using the computer for it like you do..."

While the ferrets are trash talking at each other while walking in the direction of King and Fox they hear another explosion and see something orange red flying their way accompanied by a loud "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!"



>>>>PART 5<<<<
Last edited by Invisan on Wed Jul 01, 2015 8:24 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again) Edit: Part 4 online

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

I really like this chapter very much! Very intense!
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again) Edit: Part 4 online

Post by Invisan »

Im happy you like it Dayzee. :-)

Tried to write a bit more this time. But im not good when it comes to longer stories xD Im more into short stories. Seems to help me though to prewrite the story in german and then translating it.

I miss the old days when i was younger and could write awesome stories where i could share the excitement and electrify the readers. Maybe i will get back to my old form when i continue writing. At least i hope so ^^


What did you think of the real life Battleship Game?
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again) Edit: Part 4 online

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

I actually thought that it was really funny.
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again) Edit: Part 4 online

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Canine projectile inbound! Take cover!
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again) Edit: Part 4 online

Post by Saturn381 »

Nice update, Invisan. :)
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Invisan
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Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2015 7:28 am
Location: Germany / The Web

Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again) Edit: Part 4 online

Post by Invisan »

Thx Saturn :)

And yup you got that right J ^^


We will see if you like the next update as much as this ^^ I hope so at least. But well that will have to wait a bit. Before that i have to create some more HP Lego Drawings ^^
My Fan-Fic Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Well i have a furaffinity acc now so i can upload my Fanart somewhere else then imgur ^^ Come in and find out.
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Invisan
Posts: 366
Joined: Fri Apr 24, 2015 7:28 am
Location: Germany / The Web

Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again) Edit: Part 4 online

Post by Invisan »

Well well it took some time and i guess part 6 will take some time too but well its finally done ^^



Karishad lands right in front of King and Fox accompanied by a loud crashing voice. King and Fox look at him baffled while the air is filled with dust and a heavy smell of gunpowder.

Wait. Did you just fire yourself over here with that canon Kari?” “Sure. Why shouldn’t I do that?” Karishad looks at King like he did ask something really dumb. The jaws of King, Fox, Lana and Rock are dropped all the way down to the ground, at least they feel like it.

Some more seconds pass before King can focus again and stumble a sentence which almost makes sense. While the others are still standing there and dont understand everything.

"But... You know this should be physically impossible? I mean... Your not meant to fly. And especially not out of a cannon..." "Why? Everything went well. I dont know what you are so upset about. It was really fun. I think im gonna do that again later on. You should try it too. Its really blowing your ears free." Fox raises his paw as if he wants to say something. But as confused as he is he lets it down again while his view bounces back and forth between Karishad and the ship.

Meanwhile King has his thoughts back under his control. "Karishad we need your help. Do you have a moment?" "Even two moments for you. Follow me. Lets get to my crib." "Err... Dont you live here with the Ferrets?" "Well kind off. But i have my own place near here."

After the 3 said there goodbyes to Lana and Rock they head of to Karishads place, while the Ferrets are starting to argue again who of the two has won or who did cheat. Target oriented Karishad leads them to a hole in the earth. "Welcome. This is my place. Come in and make yourselves comfortable." Karishad enters while King and Fox look at each other baffled. "He lives in this hole in the earth?!? Not very comfy..." "Well he is a Fox after all."

Both head down and cant believe what they are seeing. A few steps after the entry of the hole the tunnel widens and they find themselves in the middle of an ancient Temple which Karishad made to his home. "If you need something just say it. At the start its a bit confusing but as you are getting used to it its really nice. Behind the big Statue to your right there is the door to the Bathroom. If you enter that room and move across it the Toilet is behind the door at the end of the room. If you need something to eat the Kitchen is one your left side. Aside of that take a seat and get comfy. Im gonna head to the Kitchen and get myself a Tea and after that we can talk."


Fox and King can’t believe what Karishad refered to as Room. It’s a giant Cavesystem. Fox heads into the direction of the toilet while King went to the Kitchen to get something to drink.
Fox enters the Bathroom through a tiny door with a symbolized Hydrant on it. He opens the door carfully and stops overwhelmed. After the entrance he expected anything but not that. Even though the entrance / Living room Area was quite big, the bathroom does not need to fear the comparison to it. In the middle there is a Lake with a little waterfall at the other side of the “room” which is recharging (Don’t know if that would be the correct word in this case?) the Lake. In the other Corner of that giant Cave is a little plateau with a bubbling hot spring. Fox crosses the Room and enters the door which Karishad mentioned as entrance to the Toilet. Also, this time Karishad totally understated. The Toilet is a real Toilet with dozens of gimmicks and real bath amatures. The walls are slightly golden and it has a Floor completely build of natural marble.
Meanwhile King tries to escape Karishads giant Cooler. After he found the Kitchen he wanted to grab a drink and while searching for that he came across the cooler and decided to grab something to eat too. Even though the cooler looked like a normal cooler from the outside it was just a door of the cooler while the real cooler is approximate 60 square meters in width and length. At least that’s what King thinks after wandering around in it for almost 5 Minutes. After another 5 Minutes of wandering around between metre high racks he finally found the exit. Jittering he returns back to the Main / Livingroom where an all-round carefree Karishad is waiting with hot Tea and some cookies and a well slightly perplex Fox already are waiting.
My Fan-Fic Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Well i have a furaffinity acc now so i can upload my Fanart somewhere else then imgur ^^ Come in and find out.
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Amazee Dayzee
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Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again) Edit: Part 5 online

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

I really like how this has came out! It looks like it is a very interesting chapter! Great job!
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Invisan
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Location: Germany / The Web

Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again) Edit: Part 5 online

Post by Invisan »

Part 6 which might be the biggest Part yet and maybe the last part will come at the end of the month. Currently i dont have the time i would like to put into this but i will have the time at the end of the month finally.
My Fan-Fic Fox goes to Heaven (again)

Well i have a furaffinity acc now so i can upload my Fanart somewhere else then imgur ^^ Come in and find out.
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Amazee Dayzee
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Joined: Tue Aug 12, 2014 6:24 pm

Re: [Fan-Fic] Fox goes to Heaven (again) Edit: Part 5 online

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

I was wondering what had happened to this! I'm glad to see that it is coming back!
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