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Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Tue May 07, 2013 4:06 pm
by Silly Zealot
George Clooney and the kitty cats, man! I'm telling you: Stop refferring to Dmitri as "Brunolf" just because all the other characters think that's his real name!
I know you told me that he won't go back to calling himself Dmitri in the foreseeable future, but you can't just call a character by a name in one chapter and start calling him another in the next. The narration needs consistency!

Mod edit: Use of that name as a swear is prohibited

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Tue May 07, 2013 4:28 pm
by GeckoZY
But, it makes it more confusing than necessary. I don't really see the problem with calling him 'Brunolf', isn't it better to make it clearer rather than consistent?
(let's just continue the discussion through chat with VEB, he just went offline half an hour ago, he'll be back later)

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Tue May 07, 2013 4:50 pm
by Silly Zealot
GeckoZY wrote:But, it makes it more confusing than necessary. I don't really see the problem with calling him 'Brunolf', isn't it better to make it clearer rather than consistent?
(let's just continue the discussion through chat with VEB, he just went offline half an hour ago, he'll be back later)
The reader needs consistency in order for things to be clearer.
And continuing this conversation in private chat would prevent copper and all your other sexy followers to participate and say what they think.

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Tue May 07, 2013 5:30 pm
by GeckoZY
Silly Zealot wrote:And continuing this conversation in private chat would prevent copper and all your other sexy followers to participate and say what they think.
Okay. I'll agree with that. XD

Question of the day(s?): Should we continue calling Dmitri 'Dmitri' or should we go with 'Brunolf'?
Leave your answers in the comments section below. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and don't forget to Subscribe.

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Tue May 07, 2013 10:36 pm
by copper
Quite simple... When referring to himself, he should be who he identifies himself as, so Dmitri... if his mind is wiped or something, then he would identify himself as Brunolf and you can use Brunolf at all times. Until that point though, he should still be Dmitri when thinking or in exposition.

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Tue May 07, 2013 10:47 pm
by Silly Zealot
copper wrote:Quite simple... When referring to himself, he should be who he identifies himself as, so Dmitri... if his mind is wiped or something, then he would identify himself as Brunolf and you can use Brunolf at all times. Until that point though, he should still be Dmitri when thinking or in exposition.
Also keep in mind that this is not a first person narrative, but one from a pseudo-omniscient, pseudo-omnipresent narrator. That, however, would still imply that the main character should be referred to as "Dmitri" during narration, as such a narrator would use objective nomenclatures such as that name, which is the closest to Dmitri's real name that we have any knowledge about.

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Thu May 09, 2013 7:45 am
by VEB152
Despite GeckoZY and Silly Zealot being locked in the same room to discuss some important story-telling stuff, an update is here to keep you entertained, or experiencing any other emotions that you have while reading this!

We have a Twitter account?!
File 8: Thoughts on Over-Thinking

Soon after the husky had left, Dmitri started devouring the pastries. He hadn't been able to have a decent meal ever since his plane crashed at North Korea.

Various things came to his mind at that moment: The letters from the cat, theories on why he was being hunted, why someone wanted to terminate him, and why somebody was helping him. Was he part of a bigger conspiracy? Or was it just a really weird twist of fate?

~Would heading to Moscow really fix my problems?~ Dmitri started thinki-


The man was drinking some soda when he heard the noise. He almost choked on the drink. Luckily, he was able to stop it from really happening.

Grey had placed a couple of heavily packed bags onto the living room’s floor.

"Whoops, sorry, I dropped my bag. I've brought a couple of things with me. Papers, some money, snacks and some stuff for my brothers. I also got you a travelling bag. You might want to get something when we reach Vladivostok."


Dmitri placed his cup on the table, stood up and took the bag from Grey. He was going to ask more about the picture on the fireplace, but-

“-BEEP BEEP-” the sound of a car’s horn boomed outside the house.

"Seems like my dad is ready, let's go!"

The husky dragged the Dmitri towards the back end of the house where a friendly looking man in his early thirties was sitting inside a pickup truck. The man stepped out of the truck and headed towards Dmitri to greet him.

"Oh, hello there! I'm Mr Manny Bachs, the father of Grey. Nice to meet you. Grey told me that you're accompanying him to Europe. I hope that you'll have a good time with him."

“Hello sir, I do hope so, too!”

“By the way, thanks for accompanying him there, I cannot go there because of some issues within the family. He wants to visit them and he really pleads a lot. I just want to tell you... “ The man moved closer to Dmitri to whisper. “ not get him overly excited about it. He tends to cause a lot of problems when he gets excited.”

“Problems?” The man stares at the husky.

Unexpectedly, Dmitri received his reply from the dog, it was a big grin from the excited husky.


Meanwhile, in China...

Sam stared at a set of footprints in the snowy ground.

"The footprints suggest that this is probably a dog."

The man looked in front of him while following the footprints. He noticed something peculiar in terms of its location, a mine entrance lay hidden behind a small patch of trees and bushes.

"So a dog was accompanying the Subject and showed him this secret passage through the border."- Sam murmured as he moved forward.

Entering the dimly lit mine, he drew a flashlight from his gear and switched it on. He started walking into the mine.

"This is getting interesting..."


The road spread long and peaceful, with only the sound of the wind and the roaring of the car engine breaking the otherwise absolute silence on the way to the port. Dmitri sat in the passenger seat, pondering about the recent series of events that had placed him into this current situation.

“Mister Bachs, may I use a sheet of paper? You know, I just want to write the layout for the trip while we still have a bit of time.”

“Why not?”- Replied the man beside Dmitri, shrugging.

Dmitri clicked an ink pen, and began writing down all he knew so far.

It's a long shot to say he knew a lot, but all that had transpired up to that point definitely needed to be structured, reviewed and analyzed.

He could say for sure that going as far away from Korea and China was top priority. This dog's idea to go to Austria fitted pretty well on that respect, but... why? Why would he even want to go there with him? They barely knew each other, and he already had the husky’s complete trust to accompany him... It was too good to actually believe, at least for now.

Dmitri glanced at the mirror, where he could see Grey's face, who was sitting happily on the back seat.

~No, maybe he is just a really easy-going character. He sounds quite young as well, and I've heard dogs tend to behave that way.~

He put aside the paper, and looked for the ticket in his bag again. He tried to find something out of the ordinary on it, but to no avail. Just a standard issue of a railway ticket, from Vladivostok to Moscow. The train was not the fancy one, but he wasn't looking for luxury at that moment. He would be happier with an airplane taking him away, of course, but getting it would be something that would only come out of an ideal world.

Dmitri drew a line under all the abbreviated facts he thought of up to that moment. The main question for him was where to go next. He obviously couldn't just go and run through several other borders to get to Austria - that would be, at best, pure lunacy. Since his passport was lost in the fire of the plane crash two weeks before, he would need to get a new one, but that would take too much time. Maybe he could get some help from that man he knew from the police, but that would still take at least another two weeks. On the other hand, it would be enough to look for some cheap tickets to Vienna...

A sudden realization dawned upon his head. ~Tickets! Why a train ticket if that CNS is really an airline? I should look further into that later~ A few more lines connecting the written letters appeared on the paper momentarily.

~Okay, did I forget anything? No, looks like everything's here... Oh, yes, I should buy the notebook as soon as I can, since I’m starting to forget what I told that husky back in the forest alrea--~ Dmitri’s thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a now familiar voice.

"What are those letters you are writing over there?"- It seemed that the husky had been watching him write all along. -"They don't look like landmarks or something like that to me."

"Uh... these? Oh, looks like I'm thinking about my job again!" ~I will never believe this explanation will work.~ Thought Dmitri to himself. -"Still writing all these markings and ratings... I really need some sleep. Hopefully the boat trip will be long enough for me to get some rest."
"You are about to find out." replied Manny, as the car entered the port district in Posyet.


Dmitri, stop thinking, now!!! It is not doing you any good! Just relax, and look for all the positive things. You're making a cross-country trip by the most boring transport ever, isn't it great?

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Thu May 09, 2013 9:39 pm
by copper
Hmm... he really needs to stop and think some more in my opinion, stop adding more lies! :lol:

Ditch the dog!!! It cannot end well with him in tow....

The husky dragged the Dmitri
Since when is Dmitri an object?

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 3:37 am
by VEB152
Hmm... he really needs to stop and think some more in my opinion, stop adding more lies!
I've been trying to tell Dmitri that all the time, but he pretends not hearing me :(
Ditch the dog!!!
Ditching the dog? Why, that's just a talking dog, that weighs ~3/4 of Dmitri's weight, that can lick you to death. What can possibly go wrong?
It cannot end well with him in tow....
I'm pretty sure this whole story can't end in any way with him in tow :D
Since when is Dmitri an object?
Erm.... Since I've forgotten to pay enough attention to mistake-correction work, I guess?

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Fri May 10, 2013 2:30 pm
by Silly Zealot
copper wrote:
The husky dragged the Dmitri
Since when is Dmitri an object?
I failed at my duties again!!!! Like Corvo from the video game that possesses the following name, I am sooooo Dishonoured!

A1 - File 9: Wait For Me!

Posted: Sat May 11, 2013 8:29 am
by GeckoZY
Not so random intro that you never read.

File 9: Wait for Me!
They had reached the port much faster than they would have at an earlier hour, since everybody was now heading north towards their respective households, and not southbound, to work. A strong breeze blew through the vehicle, for at those latitudes the chilly winter nights are still experienced in April. By the time they’d arrived at the port, the late night crew was preparing the boarding of the last ferry leaving the port for Vladivostok.
Known for its speed, the ferry could bring people to Vladivostok in just 5 hours. Tickets were sold at low prices due to the heavy competition. This was the best possible route to Vladivostok, given that driving in the conditions at that time of the year would be perilous.
Manny got out of the pickup truck and waved at some of the familiar faces passing around.
"I'll go get some tickets, Grey. Both of you can just stay right here."
Manny walked away from the vehicle and towards one of the lit building. He slowly faded into the mist that surrounded the port at that time of the night.
"I haven’t seen my brothers in the past 3 years. I've talked to them every now and then through the phone but it doesn't feel the same."
Dmitri listened intently to the husky's story.
"The three of us were adopted by the Bachs brothers and originally lived in their father's estate. It was an extremely carefree and enjoyable time, until a problem with the finances caused some disputes between the banks and their father. The estate was confiscated and the three of us were forced into separate homes. My dad, wanting to avoid any further conflicts or trouble, moved here to Russia, where he could pretty much relax without worrying about that. He could travel around the nearby cities, camp around the surrounding wilderness and enjoy his favorite pastime, fishing."
There was a short pause as Grey seemed to recall some fond memories.
The silence was broken by a tap on the window. Manny was back holding two tickets for the night ferry.
"Here you go, guys. You can board the ferry at that dock over there. Just show them your tickets."
Manny patted the head of Grey and scratched him behind the ears.
"Grey, be a good boy. Don't give your friend here too much trouble. The same thing goes for my brothers. I don't want to get a call in the middle of the night from them telling me you've caused some cataclysm or something similar again. You know how I hate interrupted sleep."
"Okay dad! You don't really need to say all of that out loud!"
A chuckle could be heard behind.
"Oh, and Brunolf, please keep an eye on Grey here, he tends to get overexcited about these kind of stuff. He might end up licking everyone he meets in Austria."
"I will!" ~so he does that to everyone?~ For, some reason, the idea of a hyperkinetic husky licking innocent bystanders amused Dmitri.
"Oh and good luck with whatever it is that you want to do over there. And don't forget to take pictures, guys!" He scratched the huskies favorite spot, that small spot behind his ears. He eventually stopped and patted the husky on his head.
As the two walked towards the pier, Manny entered his vehicle and waved farewell at the two.
"Bye dad!" -Said Grey, waving back with a big smile on his face.
The two entered the ferry and seated at the back side of the boat. By midnight, both of them had become exhausted. They ended up sleeping at the ferry as the now clear skies revealed the bright moon, shining over the sea.
An hours later, Sam arrived at the docks, after learning from the team that this was probably the best way to Vladivostok. After passing through the mine, he had hitched a ride on a dock worker’s vehicle.
~The most logical place for them to go is this port over here, better ask around.~
He approached a group of ferry workers, asking a couple of questions on whether they have seen a guy with a dog, looking for a ferry to Vladivostok.

After asking several groups of workers, he concluded that the Subject did ride one of the ferries.

~They're really not doing a good job of hiding. I'm not even sure if they are even trying to.~

The man checked the timetable for the next ferry service.

"5 am!? Don't you have anything earlier than that?" - He asked the local ticket vendor.

"Sorry, that's the earliest we've got. As you might already know, the last one left an hour ago..."

~So, now they'll have a 4 hour head start. Wow, it will be much harder to track them now. At least I now know that they’re riding this one. They really can’t get too far away in just four hours.~ Sam pondered.

"Anything else, sir?" The ticket vendor asked, hoping that the man in front of him would want more than just complaining.

"Sorry, but how much is the ferry ride, again?"


Next update will be on Tuesday! XP

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Sun May 12, 2013 6:42 pm
by copper
Hmm... I do declare that alternate invisible text made no sense.

You guys are still mixing up tenses, but almost everything else seems okay.

I agree with Dmitri. It would be fun to see Grey licking every citizen of an entire country.

Archive 1 - Image 1

Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 8:35 am
by GeckoZY
Image 1



VEB will be posting the next file in a few minutes. :arrow:

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Tue May 14, 2013 8:36 am
by VEB152
You guys are still mixing up tenses, but almost everything else seems okay.
grrrr, tenses. These are painful to check, but we try doing our best.

I agree with Dmitri. It would be fun to see Grey licking every citizen of an entire country.
Yes, having the whole country "licked" is a fun idea. Grey will be able to dictate his own rules in Austria quite soon. And then he'll invite all the other huskies there. They will coup the government, and then the whole world politics will be dominated by huskies in no time, as all the other world's polititians will be too concerned about not getting licked to death! And then they will create the Huskies' Republic of the World, and...
*Notices everyone staring at him*
Erm... I got carried away again, didn't I?
*GeckoZY nods while looking at VEB152 angrily*
I... I have to leave. Now! I've... left the oven turned on...? Yes, that's it!
*runs away*

File 10: Time is of the Essence

”Brunolf, wake-up already!” Grey started yelling, trying to wake Dmitri up, as the ferry approached the harbour in Vladivostok.

“Ah... Grey? Is that you?” he replied, his eyes still closed shut.

“Yes, that's me! Come on, we are about to dock in Vladivostok and you're still sleeping!”


Dmitri spent the next ten minutes mostly panicking, brushing his teeth, and looking for any possessions he could have forgotten on board, despite the fact that the number of things he currently possessed was still surprisingly small.

The two were the last passengers to get off the boat, and the city welcomed them with the sunrise, and the citizens, who were starting to wake up and move along the streets to work.

He took the ticket out from the bag again - it said that the train would depart at 21:45. They had the whole day for themselves, and at least one of them barely had any idea on how to spend it.

“So, where are we going now?” Dmitri asked, then looked back at the husky, waiting for him to reply.


“And now, on to the Far East situation update, gentlemen.”

One of the attendants of the meeting stood up from his seat and approached the small pulpit.

“Well, the situation is still quite unclear. All we know is that 152C has successfully escaped from North Korea, according to the report from 211705/3, and he has also claimed that he lost track of 152C near the border with Russia. Also a few hours before that there was an explosion in the camp, allegedly caused by a North Korean rocket, yet we are quite sure that’s just our “friends” following their usual protocols. Deliberately or not, they have given away their intentions.”

The man took a sip of water from a glass placed in advance on pulpit’s surface.

“Also, we have just received a transmission from 117202/3, coming from Vladivostok. He says that he has seen 152C get off the ferry in the city, and that he was accompanied by a dog. We have yet to find out in what precise location within the city he has been found, however. We are currently looking for any suspicious entries in the passenger manifest.”

“Will He be leaving the city today at 3 P.M.?”

“Actually, at 9, sir...”

The general stood up from his chair, and his voice began to slightly distort with anger

“The 9 P.M. train?! I've told you we need to get him away from there as soon as possible, and it spends three unnecessary days in transit! Three days of additional funding costs a lot, you know?!”

“I understand your concern, sir, but isn't taking the most famous train in the country far too much of a risk? Anyone can find him in there... - The man stated, slowly approaching the general, and ending his speech, whispering to him - And let’s not forget that's what THEY most probably want us to do. To take the most fancy route, to show off how much we can do to annoy them.”
“Maybe”-the general emphasised that word-” you're right; it's too late to change anything, anyhow. Let's hope everything goes as you have just promised me, or, otherwise, we'll have to replace most of you from your jobs, gentlemen. Meeting is over, thanks to everyone for attending. You are dismissed.”

Because the train is going West, not East.

"Why not to take an airplane flight to Moscow?" - the reader would wonder, finishing to read File 10. "Because you can spend a lot of taxpayers' money on paper and supplies, describing 9 days, and not much - with 9 hours" - I will reply, writing the continuation of the story on fine Finnish paper, using an antique gold-covered Parker pen.

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Wed May 15, 2013 1:18 am
by copper
That is a tall dog! Even with perspective, he would reach the shoulders of Herr Brunolf!

So now there are two agencies after him, eh? This should prove interesting...

Not going to comment on any mistakes on this one. I am sure a quick second run through should be sufficient for you all to find them. :)

A1 - File 11: Delays Matches

Posted: Thu May 16, 2013 8:01 am
by GeckoZY
copper wrote:That is a tall dog! Even with perspective, he would reach the shoulders of Herr Brunolf!
Still bad with perspectives. Thanks for the comment. XD


File 11: Delays Matches
The morning sun shined brightly high above the horizon as two figures walked along the small strip of shops near the train station; after an hour or two of wandering around, looking for supplies to buy. The husky and the newly rested man were getting themselves busy, discussing what to get for the trip.
"I think we should get you some supplies, and probably a new set of clothes. You look like you’ve just ran through a minefield in North Korea."
The phrase made Dmitri’s eyes burst open wide for an instant,- "Uh... yeah... mine field... Ha-ha..."- Realizing he was showing a great deal of stress, Dmitri suddenly adopted a calmer posture. ~No, there is no way he can possibly know about me and the camp. I should stop being so paranoid.~
Grey tilted his head, confused at “Brunolf’s” sudden reactions. -"Okay... There seems to be a supply store at the edge of the street and probably a clothing store somewhere.. Oh, there it is!"
Dmitri looked across the street to where the husky was pointing. A plain, two story high clothing store with a neon sign saying 'Ivan Ivanovich Ivanovsky's Clothing Store' on the top. As they looked on, a group of tourists passed by in front of them, talking about a nice restaurant nearby.
Overhearing the subject of the conversation, Grey started to feel hungry. He had forgotten to bring some snacks for the trip while he was still at his house.
Grey’s stomach made a rather audible grumble, urging him to speak his displeasure. -"Uhm, I think we can just get back to that later, I'm starving."
The husky started running, just slightly behind the tourists. He followed them towards the restaurant. Dmitri was left with little choice, other than running, again, in order to catch up with the husky.
At about the same time in the middle of the sea, one of the ferries en-route to Vladivostok unexpectedly halted at the middle of the sea, causing distress among the busy-minded voyagers on board.
Their criticism of the situation, which varied from the inconvenience of the delay, to rather vocal deprecation against contemporary public transportation as a whole, was interrupted by a sound of static, followed by a squeaking noise, signaling a message through the radio from the bridge -"Good morning passengers,”- The voice of the captain could be heard through the radio. -”we seem to have some technical difficulties with the engine. We will be delayed for about two more hours, as we will need to wait for the emergency ferry from Vladivostok to assist on pulling us to shore. Sorry for the inconvenience and enjoy the rest of the journey."
Another short wave of static and a final “click” pointed to the radio shutting off.
A man stood on the ship’s deck, contemplating on what to do next. In the mind of the man, now stranded at the middle of the ocean, random thoughts on how fate had always been against him began to surface.
~Now, I'm not only going to be 4 hours late, but I'll also be late for the train leaving for Moscow at 9:45 AM. He'll probably ride that one. He seems to be trying to get away as quickly as possible from this desolated place.~
As his thoughts drifted on, a woman carrying a backpack approached one of the ferry's crew.
"Uhm, excuse me, since I'll be late for my train, what other alternatives do I have? I really need to leave for Moscow today."
"You can probably ride the next train to Moscow, the one that leaves at 9 o'clock tonight. It'll be a twelve hour delay, but at least you'll still reach Moscow."
"Thanks, I'll just call my friends and tell them about my delay."
The woman promptly left and took out her phone from her purse.
Sam had overheard the conversation between the two. He could probably ride that train instead, and try to switch and catch up with the earlier one.
~Well a twelve hour delay couldn't hurt that much, right?~
Unbeknownst to the man, fate had actually sided with him for once.
After having some local delights and a couple of drinks, the two went to buy the supplies that they would need for their journey. By now, the sun had risen high above the sky, and a few clouds floated in the air, giving the occasional shade for the travelling duo.
"Let's get back to our original business. We could probably get you some new clothes. You still smell a bit. And we should probably look for a place for you to freshen up!"
"I guess so. I kinda forgot my hygiene after spending all that time lost and running."
"Running? Running from what? You only seemed lost in the woods."
"Err... I mean chasing you. You kept running ahead of me."
"Oh, sorry about that."-Grey answered, with a sly grin across his muzzle.
Dmitri was somewhat frightened at the straightforwardness of his husky companion, ~Is he trying to get something out of me? Or is he just really that talkative?~
The two ended up in front of the clothing store they had seen not long before, and promptly entered, finding themselves being greeted by the store’s owner.
"Hello there, welcome to my humble store! I have everything you need, from shoes, jackets, pants to scarves and socks! Just tell me what you need and I will it them for you."
Dmitri was about to say something when he was interrupted by the shopkeeper saying, "Oh, and you smell like you've gone through a minefield."-
"Told you so..."- Said Grey while rolling his eyes, only to be answered by a deathly stare on Dmitri’s part that made the little husky whimper in fear.
"I have a bathroom on the second floor,”- Interrupted the shopkeeper, not wanting to have to clean blood stains off the floor -”You could probably pick some clothes here and try them on there. No offense, but you really need a new wardrobe."
"You're welcome!"
The husky sat near the cashier as Dmitri picked a couple of clothes for him to wear. The store’s owner began to scratch Grey behind the ears, making the little husky wag his tail rapidly as the pleasure went up through his head.
"So, are you two travelling?”-Inquired the store’s owner. -”You seem to be bringing a lot of stuff with you."
"Yeah, we are going to Moscow, and then my friend will accompany me to my brothers’ in Austria."
"Nice, but why does he have such a rugged look? He really does look like he went through a bit of trouble."
Pondering for a moment, and still wagging his tail, Grey answered. -"He got lost somewhere at the border between Russia and China."
"You young guys and your adventures, I've wondered how the world would look like if you always acted like that!"
"I bet you did something crazier when you were young."
"Okay, you might be right, I've been to weird places while serving under the military, years ago."
The two continued to discuss as they waited for Dmitri to change his clothes. He joined the conversation a bit later. After a really long conversation on the man's military career and his adventures as a boy, the two paid for the clothes and left the store, saying their goodbyes to the store’s owner.
By the time they left, the sun was once again looming over the horizon, their shadows extending a couple of meters in length, and the wind was blowing strongly from the south. The two began to walk back to the train station, all the while thinking about the stories of the old man, managing that tiny store.


See you in the next update! XD

Update: Map Depicting Brunolf's 'travels'.

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Thu May 16, 2013 10:06 am
by copper
The tenses were better in this one!

Hmm, a few awkward sentences, and some stuff that doesn't really fit, but overall a nice update.

Seems Grey is just that nice kind of dog who enjoys conversation.

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Sat May 18, 2013 2:11 am
by Silly Zealot
copper wrote:The tenses were better in this one!

Hmm, a few awkward sentences, and some stuff that doesn't really fit, but overall a nice update.

Seems Grey is just that nice kind of dog who enjoys conversation.
Thanks, copper, I've recently gotten more time to correct and double check the file Gecko and VEB game me.
Alas, I realized something:
File 10 wrote:“The 9 P.M. train?! I've told you we need to get him away from there as soon as possible, and he spends three unnecessary days in transit! Three days of additional funding costs a lot, you know?!”
I corrected and repeatedly checked that paragraph, because of several mistakes, and I STILL missed that it should say "cost" instead of "costs", I simply don't get how I keep missing this things.

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Sat May 18, 2013 7:23 am
by VEB152
The tenses were better in this one!
Yay, we are slowly mastering time control via usage of proper tenses :D

Okay, this file may or may not be additionally revised, because due to several... erm... coincidences, I have to leave right now, so I couldn't participate in revising at all. Feel free to criticize both this decision and the grammar (but at least it looks like everything's in the same tense now, yay!)

So, welcome the slightly rushed....

Archives 2: Around Russia in 10 days

File 1: Temporal Lag

-“Come on, you're kidding me! It's 15 minutes before departure, and the train is still nowhere to be seen! Oh, I hate railroad transports SO MUCH!”

-“Why didn't you take a flight to Moscow? There are plenty of planes leaving Vladivostok on time every day.”

-“Because some clever guys from the Finance Department say we spent too much money on international visits and we now have to pay for the transport on our own.”

-“That's why you decided to cross the border by merely walking through it?”

Dmitri sighed in response, desperately trying to hide his annoyance. He was slowly but surely getting tired of everyone comparing him to a Korean escapee. Maybe that story about being an Euroliner employee in distress was not the best idea after all.

The two sat down on the bench in the middle of the platform, further away from the railway terminal building, and kept waiting for a train to come. It finally did, but, as expected, it did so 10 minutes after it’s scheduled departure.

~That still doesn't mean the whole trip is ruined. And I can still try changing trains on any of the following stations if something goes terribly wrong... Like the train breaking down or Grey licking half of the passengers to near-death~ Dmitri kept thinking ~well, at least I have some new clothes, and quite nice ones, actually! I wasn’t expecting that from a small shop at the edge of the country.~

Their tickets got checked, and both man and dog were finally allowed to get on the train. Once they were both inside their compartment,, Dmitri put both bags under the seat, and carefully climbed up to the upper litter bed placed against the wall. Grey joyfully jumped on the seats below him. The door slid closing, as no one else seemed to be getting into the train on this station. Dmitri once again looked through his limited belongings, and found nothing of interest, besides a note book he bought in that small shop. Nothing else could provide any more entertainment for 9 days of travel. He faintly smiled - dog's love for talking a lot would be finally welcome. Maybe he'll even scratch behind his ears for the first time... so both of them don't feel lonely.

The carriage shook slightly and the mighty electrical locomotive began moving through the dark night city of Vladivostok, northbound, towards it’s next stop at Habarovsk. The husky began whistling some long-forgotten fun tune, and Dmitri decided to spend some time on making up more complex and interesting details about his past: His education in Russia, getting a job, his first love, and all that fancy stuff from melodramas.

He spent some time on re-writing everything from the paper he had placed all the story he’d fabricated so far to the newly-bought notebook in a somewhat organised fashion, and then tried to add something to it, but, without an inspiration, like the day before, in the forest, it was terribly difficult, and the sound of the train’s whistle didn't really help him.

-“I guess it's too late to go pay a visit to the buffet bar, but it's still too early to sleep. Grey?.. Since I have nothing to read with me, and I couldn't find anything in your bags, maybe you could tell me about your brothers? I just want to know a little bit more about the the people we're going to visit soon. I'll try remembering some funny anecdote from my job, meanwhile; we had a few crazy things happening every now and then. And I think we should go to sleep early today - we’ll arrive to Habarovsk very early in the morning, and I want to take a glance at the city's station while we are staying there.”

He looked down at the dog, who was mostly busy scratching himself, waiting for his reply.


See you all soon, with further revised File 1, and, probably, apologies for dialogue-writing :)

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Sat May 18, 2013 8:24 pm
by copper
Just... please look through that again and edit some more? I don't want to break the word count for posts on this...

Why does he still not think of Grey as more than a dog?

Adding onto a lie is never good... he should not do it.

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Sun May 19, 2013 8:45 am
by Silly Zealot
copper wrote:Just... please look through that again and edit some more? I don't want to break the word count for posts on this...
Unfortunately, Chapter 2 was off limits for me at the time, so I could not fullfill this two gentlemen's request to revise it.
Right now, I find myself on quite the dilemma: I should go and edit this, but I feel a bit sleepy and have the ever present desire to waste my life away on mind-numbing videogames.

A2 - File 2: Fate or Coincidence

Posted: Tue May 21, 2013 8:57 am
by GeckoZY
I can't think of anything to write here, but writing this somewhat contradicts the earlier statement so I can think of writing to write here, which makes writing this whole thing useless. -collapses into itself-

File 2: Fate or Coincidence

Nine hours earlier, slightly past noon at the port in Vladivostok, Sam had just arrived from his 8-hour long 'speed' ferry ride. His arrival was further delayed by an hour, in addition to the expected 2 hour delay. This was due to the heated argument between the ship's technician and the captain, which ended badly for the technician. He got soaking wet after falling off the ferry while attempting to walk away from the captain.

~At least I had a bit of a laugh then. Poor guy!~

Sam thought some more about the matter as he walked through the line of shops in the city center. He felt slightly hungry and started looking for a decent restaurant to have his late lunch.

As he moved forward along the street, he noticed an old man inside one of the nearby store, talking from the top of the store counter, making gestures that simulated something, apparently a rifle, while a gray coated Siberian Husky was listening intently.

~Old people and their adventures, no wonder the world is this crazy.~ Sam thought, before looking up to the sign in front of the store. ~And that has too many ‘Ivans’ in one sentence, I hope he's not crazy.~

He walked towards the end of the street, where he found a shop, filled with customers - so much, so that the queue to the restaurant extended a few stores along the sidewalk.

~This restaurant must be good, and, since the organization pays for everything, why not spend some on good food? I’ll just hope that it will be worth the wait.~

He spent the next 2 hours indulging himself on food and drink inside the restaurant (that is, when after surviving the queue), paid the bill using the organization's credit card, and left the premises.

It was now mid-afternoon, with the remaining time he had left to spare, he visited some supply stores and a couple of local souvenir shops. In one of them, he noticed a fridge magnet with a husky bobble head.

~Nice, my mother would love this! I wonder if I can charge this to the organization?~

Just in case buying knick-knacks for the family would end up with getting him blacklisted by his employers, Sam paid for the magnet with cash, placing it carefully inside his backpack afterwards. After leaving the last shop, he strolled around, wondering how to catch up with the Subject and his apparent canine accomplice.

~How did he ended up with that dog, anyway? Why didn't we have satellite visual at that most crucial time.~

Some of his conjectures on the matter only led to dead ends, some led to something, but it lacked a bit of more evidence. Obviously, nobody could have manipulated the satellite, it was normal for it to be out of range at that time.

~We know which was the organization that helped him to escape from North Korea, but where does this dog fit in all of that? That dog doesn't seem to be a part of any of their plans.~

Walking to a now busier area, he continued to wander off, still caught in deep thoughts. Passing by a cinema, he noticed a movie with a seemingly weird yet catchy title: “The Party of the Dead 3D”.

~Really!? Who makes a 3D movie about parties and zombies?~ Staring at the sign for a bit longer, he suddenly found himself saying -"Wait a minute, the dog could have simply be a third party!”

"It makes sense now." He whispered in realization.

Looking at his watch, Sam noted it still was only 5 PM.

~I have plenty of time right now.~ He continued staring at the board. A list of showing times was printed beside the posters. ~I'll just watch that movie, then go straight to the station and board that train.~

He ran towards the ticket booth, noting that the movie next film was starting in just a few minutes, and bought one for the zombie movie.

"I hope I won't regret this."


Around this same time, on the train, a certain guy and his husky companion were still discussing about each other’s lives.
"I guess I could."- Said the canine calamity.

Grey stood up as he thought about the stuff that he felt he could tell about his brothers.

Finally, he spoke. -"As I've told you before, I have two elder brothers; one is Brey, the eldest with the mostly white fur, Trey the middle with the black fur patch, while I am the youngest with the grey fur patch."

"Yeah, I've seen a picture in your living room, but I didn't know which one is which"

At this point, Grey grabbed a couple cans of sodas from their backpack and opened one, while passing the other one to Dmitri.

"Brey is the most athletic between the three of us. He won a number of competitions and is pretty much well known in Austria. His father was a perfectionist and served in the SWAT for years."- He then took a sip from the soda. - "He also knows martial arts and has done mountain climbing, long treks, skydiving and some other obscure sports that nobody with a sound mind can handle. He's kind of the outdoor and adventure type, but he can get really competitive and will always pull some prank on me." - Grey took another sip from the soda. -“He’s currently working part-time as a lifeguard at the lake near of where he lives. He really loves swimming.”

After a brief pause, Grey took another sip and then continued with the lengthy talk about his brothers.- "Trey, on the other hand, is the intelligent one. He usually spends his time reading books and listening to music. He loves the computer and usually programs pretty cool stuff in there." -He finished the soda, and proceeded to take another one. -"He seems to be fond of astronomy, he has become kind of a night owl, usually awake at night, and sleeping the entire morning off. He always gets back home late. He studied and was also given honors during his education.”- One more sip. -“I think he got employed by a research company there."- Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you ex-SIP-it A. -"He likes helping others and really hates the sunlight. Sometimes I wonder if he is actually a dog-vampire hybrid, if there's even such a thing."- Sip me, baby, one more time. -"Basically, he's kinda the nocturnal and nerdy tyype."- His words began to get draggy as he grabbed a third soda can.

-"So how do you fit in all of these?"- Asked Dmitri to his husky friend, as the latter started to sway slightly.

-"Ohh, me?"- Grey answered, before taking (wait for it) another sip. -"I'mm just a regular dog. I'm told thaat I’m a little biit sporty an' a little bit nerrdy. I cannot reeally compete with them in theeir own expertishe, but"- The following sip? I’ll say it was quite deep! -"I haave been soomewhat like the thiing that biind them togetherr."- Sip time, folks! -"Theyy rarelyy interact wiith each oderr withouut meee..." - Grey’s body finally gave in, falling to the floor with a thud.

~Did he just get drunk with soda? That's kinda weird. But I guess, that information would be helpful, if he gets too talkative in the future.~ Thought Dmitri, both be-puzzled and amused.

Tucking the husky into bed, and deciding they’d both had enough crazy going on for one night, he prepared to go to sleep. As he laid down on his bed, he heard a sound that would haunt him for the rest of the night...

The husky gave out a deafening snore.

-"Oh, please save me..."


In another compartment, a man lied down on his bed, reading a book. Satisfaction could be seen in his eyes as he thought about what he had seen earlier…


The best movie he had ever seen!


Next update will be on Thursday. XD

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Tue May 21, 2013 10:17 am
by Silly Zealot
I sincerely hope we've gotten better at this narration stuff....
Hey, you! Yes, you, over there! What are you waiting for, pal? Give us some feedback!
Hit that reply button! Smash it!

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Tue May 21, 2013 9:52 pm
by copper
I will be too busy to give exact criticism for the next week or so, but yeah, getting better, but work on it some more? I saw quite a few mistakes and awkward sentences in there.

Quite the colorful ways in which you described him taking a sip of soda...

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Tue May 21, 2013 10:42 pm
by Silly Zealot
Thank you for the input.
But do specify, either here or through PMs, what mistakes and messy sentences we've made.

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Wed May 22, 2013 9:46 pm
by copper
Sorry, cannot do so until after Tuesday of next week. HUGE workload right now... barely have time to get on the forums.

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Wed May 22, 2013 11:23 pm
by musclecar326
I have been quietly reading this without commenting for a long while, but i have to say I really love these short but frequent updates. The character development is great, and I barely ever see a mistake but that might be due to my C grade in English.

Anyway I loved that Grey started to slur his words while talking in that last paragraph. Also the movie 'The Party of the Dead 3D' sounds like an amazing movie that i would see on opening day!

keep going, this story is great! I love reading this one! :mrgreen:

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Thu May 23, 2013 11:53 am
by VEB152
HUGE workload right now... barely have time to get on the forums.
Well, I definetely wish you luck with whatever takes so much time.
And thanks for taking time to read and see/look for mistakes in our story despite that!
But do specify, either here or through PMs, what mistakes and messy sentences we've made.
Can't do anything, but agree with you here. Knowing where exactly you've messed up with tenses/words/phrases/whatever is quite a nice thing.
So thanks you for expressing my thoughts, and limiting the amount of these "you've got a mistake there!" PMs in the future by all means - you're doing a nice job with that :)
I have been quietly reading this without commenting for a long while, but i have to say I really love these short but frequent updates.
Well, can't say anything bad about it, with most of my posts being numbers in a certain forum game, heheh.
keep going, this story is great! I love reading this one!
Thanks you for reading and liking it, as well!
And sorry for this "original" and "creative" reply making less sense than it could, because if you wouldn't have liked this story you would, probably, have just avoided reading it.


<this is not a placeholder for a nonsensical introduction thingie!>

File 3: Drawing Masks

It took fifteen long minutes for Dmitri to realise, that the dog’s snoring - quite a unique experience for him - would not let him sleep at all.

~Didn't really want to sleep anyway...- He thought in resignation. -Le-e-et’s see what we can do with all that time...~

He made one last desperate attempt at getting a bit of sleep time by 'accidentally' dropping an empty can of soda from his bed. Despite the fact that it loudly crashed into the plastic-covered floor, Grey didn't seem to even flinch, and kept snoring.

Dmitri displayed his unparalleled sighing skills once again, and proceeded to pick up his notebook, trying to come up with a few new fake details about his life, but all he could come up with was a draft of a generic 'girlfriend from the high school'. He needed inspiration, yet, emptying the last soda can left, did not suffice to provide him with it.

But, coincidentally, fate finally smiled on him - behind one of the compartments at the side of the bunk bed, there was a yellow-and-black book, left behind by either a forgetful passenger, or a charitable and altruistic one, who had the foresight to realize a situation such as the one Dmitri was currently on could befall a future traveller. Surprisingly, it was quite new, and it was quite obvious that whoever owned it before had not finish reading it. It's hard to answer the question 'How is it no one noticed it before?', but who would wonder about that in the middle of the night, without being able to sleep and nothing else to do? No one, that’s who.

'Accidents that shaped aviation safety' didn't sound like the most entertaining reading subject, especially if you are scared of flying (and, since he had found it on the train, the person who had previously owned the book might not have been greatly fond of flying), and Dmitri nearly threw it back to where he found it, until he remembered his promise to talk to Grey about his 'job', and the lack of anything to say about his several years, apparently, spent working.

-“Bingo!”- He exclaimed with joy, after joyously finding a story about a postal service plane that crashed near an archipelago in the Mediterranean, giving him an idea about giving postal related details on his job. However, he exclaimed that word louder than it was prudent, or required, for that matter, causing the dog to stop snoring for a moment. Paying that reaction no heed, Dmitri began looking for the most interesting cases he could find.

The night passed swiftly, with Dmitri having nearly 20 pages worth of stories to tell - both real and altered for 'personal use' - and he had read barely a bit more than half the book. Stopping at this point, Dmitri thought, would have been unwise - and so his pen kept leaving blue traces on the white paper, telling stories about his old mother (who, of course, was also afraid of flying), his father, who had disappeared in the early 90's, and a sister who had run away from home with her fiancé to Canada a few years ago... And swiftly doodled the sketches of a few houses (most of which, he would later claim, were conveniently demolished, now) from the neighbourhood where he lived during his time of job-hunting. After all this had been done, the only story he had still needed to invent was the one describing how he had decided on moving abroad to work for Euroliner, but making up such a story was proving to be more difficult than he had thought - up until then, the only borders he had crossed had been through illegal trespassing while running away from the unwanted attention of government officials in Far East. He wrote a note to himself to think about it later, and finally decided to look through the window.

The moon was nearly touching the horizon now, and the other side of the sky was probably already painted red by the slowly rising sun.

The buffet car was still a few hours away from opening, the book wasn’t useful anymore, since the inspiration it provided had faded away. Dmitri gently got off the bed, trying not to step on the husky in the process (despite the fact that it was tempting), and went to the end of the car to wash his face, brush his teeth, and try to pretend that he had had a good night sleep.

He climbed back up, as the train began to slow down. That could mean only two things:

1) Habarovsk was no more than 15 minutes away.

2) He would finally get a chance to walk properly for a while, just like he wanted. And since walking alone is usually too boring...

Dmitri chuckled quietly, and looked back down at the sleeping and ever snoring Grey. The day was having a great start so far. And if crying 'Wake up!' loudly didn't help to get the little husky to his feet, he still had a glass of cold water.


Before you say the book staying aboard makes no sense - think of Moscow-Minsk train, that used different currencies on its way (in 2006), yet staff charged the same miniscule fee for all the services.
Or maybe it's just RZhD (railway company) competing with Aeroflot, spreading aerophobia by all possible means, I don't know.

P.S. Sorry for a later-than-usual update. Let's call it "personal reasons".

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Thu May 23, 2013 6:45 pm
by copper
Hmm, interesting. He is getting more intricate with his lie... also, he needs to burn the book so Grey does not read it! It would be funny if that was Grey's book though, and he remembered all of those stories. :lol:

A2 - File 4: A Sticky Situation

Posted: Sat May 25, 2013 6:23 am
by GeckoZY
For anybody who has an urge to strangle somebody after reading the following files please redirect your attention to VEB. :mrgreen:
I'll just crawl away slowly... *runs for dear life*

Oh wait, this isn't that file!? Err... Yes VEB, I wasn't planning on ditching you if that happens. ;)

File 4: A Sticky Situation
Grey was sleeping peacefully on the floor after passing out from his orange soda frenzy. He rolled around every now and then with his feet moving, as if walking with some occasional tail wags. His tongue was sticking out, drooling. From Dmitri’s perspective, it was obvious that the dog was having a nice dream. That is until, with all the rolling and turning, the husky’s head ended up stuck underneath one of the beds.
~Perfect!~ Thought Dmitri with sarcasm and amusement, looking at the sleeping dog.
He walked around the compartment, positioning himself as close as possible to the husky. Grey continued to 'run' as he dreamt about chasing something. Dmitri took a deep breath, and...
The unexpected scream shook the husky out of his dream. And as he attempted to jump up on his feet, it led to nothing else but with Grey’s head hitting the bed’s base.
The husky crawled out of his ‘sleeping space’ while he held his now throbbing head and started growling. Soon after processing Dmitri’s message, he started running around the compartment, looking for the “problem”.
"What is problem!? I don’t see anything!" said the still slightly groggy husky, swaying from his rude awakening and painful forehead.
Dmitri gave off a faint smile. "The buffet car is closed, and I'm a bit hungr... ...Ahhh!!!"
That was the moment when Dmitri realised how much of a bad idea it was to stir the puppy up - he was, once again tackled by the husky. He was being pressed by the heaviest thing that had ever fallen on him for a second time, and he was definitely not enjoying this.
"So you woke me up just because you're hungry!?" - Grey was staring right into Dmitri’s eyes, just like he did in the store.
"Uhm... err... I also need someone to accompany me in my walk?" - Dmitri desperately tried to soften the ever so cruel dog’s punishment, making the most innocent face he could. Alas, he didn’t convince the growling husky about his innocence.
"You have broken one of my best dreams for a long time... I'm finally chasing some squirrels after this extended winter. Nobody disturbs me from my slumber. And because of that, I shall punish you...” An undeniably nefarious grin filled the husky’s face. “...with my lick of death!!"
These were the words, Dmitri hoped not to hear during this trip, something that he had experienced before and something that he had already being warned would happen.
"No, please! I just washed my face!"
The poor man attempted to escape his predicament - a slimy, wet and sticky face, but the dog continued pinning down on the man with all of his weight. Dmitri’s attempts of escape were futile, and he did the only thing he could now - slowly re-imagining the horrors he had encountered, when he first met Grey. This, obviously, didn’t save Dmitri from the extreme face-licking procedure.
"Ewww, nooo! Somebody help me!"
"Mwahahahaha, nobody is here to save yo-"
Someone knocked at the compartment’s door, making both travellers to turn their heads to it.
"Can you please keep it quiet there?” - A man’s irritated voice could be heard from behind the closed door. “I'm trying to sleep!"
The dog remembered that they were in the train heading to Moscow. ~Oh, right. It's still early in the morning!~ And since Dmitri was barely able or willing to respond to the call from behind the door, due to the wet and sticky mess that was now covering his face, it was Grey who replied back - "Sorry, we'll try to avoid making any further noises." - This seemed to be enough to appease their visitor, and the two residents of the compartment heard a set of heavy footsteps as the man walked away.
Even then, Grey was still sitting on top of Dmitri, staring at his pinned assailant..
"I will remember this and I shall take my revenge. But I'll let you live... for now..."
Dmitri was terrified with the dog’s smile for a second time; it was the scariest of the two smiles he had made that day. And what a day that was! He still wasn't sure whether the husky was serious or joking. He was completely sure, though, that he could feel the shivers travelling down his spine, as if feeling the presence of an evil spirit.
And, just like an evil spirit leaving his host, the husky instantaneously returned to a happier, more peaceful state.
"So, when does the buffet car open?"
Grey’s tail began wagging in a flash again, and his eyes were sparkling with excitement.
Sam was walking back to his compartment after knocking at that noisy neighbours’ door, located just two compartments away.
"What kind of prick makes all that ruckus at this early in the morning? Can't they let a person sleep in here? The train is noisy enough."
He entered his room and locked the door, noticing that there was a message left in one of his phones. It was the one used for his 'business', a high tech phone from the company. It was even capable of frying itself if somebody attempted to access information inside it.
He flipped open the phone, inputted a password, and pressed his thumb on the screen.
The device was quiet for a few moments, validating the user’s identity, and then finally turning on.
[You have one new message] - said the robotic female voice, that was so popular with electronics-developing companies lately.
~A message from the organization? I wonder what they are updating me on.~
Sam read the message, sent by his team within the Organization. His expressions went blank, and only his eyes and thumb moved as his mind processed the text on the screen.
"What!? They didn't find the Subject in that earlier train? But... how? He couldn't have taken a plane, he didn't have the papers. He could have stayed back in Vladivostok, but why? No, that’s impossible, according to the latest intel, we have already confirmed that he was given a ticket to Moscow." ~And why am I talking out loud?~ - Sam suddenly realised that he had been talking to his phone the whole time.
The man continued to reflect on the events that had just transpired. He was supposed to capture the Subject, but the Organization had no leads on him. Somehow, the Subject had become more elusive, and as time passed by, their chances of actually capturing him were becoming slimmer.
Sam’s thoughts on the Subject’s escape were interrupted by his growling stomach.
~I’d better get some food, fast. Some nice hot breakfast, mmm... That would be perfect!~ - He thought to himself, checking his wrist watch.
~I wonder at what time the buffet car opens today....~

Next update will be on Tuesday! XD

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Sat May 25, 2013 8:44 am
by copper
A few more mistakes to go over, but not many! Mostly just forgotten words.

Hey, the Husky deserved it! Loud snoring is quite troublesome!

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Sat May 25, 2013 1:52 pm
by Silly Zealot
copper wrote:A few more mistakes to go over, but not many! Mostly just forgotten words.

Hey, the Husky deserved it! Loud snoring is quite troublesome!
If you notice more evident grammar errors, it is because a certain someone was too lazy and sleepy to go over them, as was their responsability.

You can probably figure out who that one was. (Hint: rhymes with whimpy peanut*.)

*Not to be confused with Peanut Butter Sandwich.

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Tue May 28, 2013 8:18 am
by VEB152
copper wrote:Hey, the Husky deserved it! Loud snoring is quite troublesome!
You see, Gecko?! Snoring dogs are NOT adorable!
Silly Zealot wrote:it is because a certain someone was too lazy and sleepy to go over them
I'm still surprised this someone doesn't forget about his responsibilities time to time :D

Yes, yes, of course, "wasn't planning" *stares at the door GeckoZY left through*
Well, I have nothing else left, but to read what he has left here...
"Thanks you everyone for staying with us for 1.5 archives already! It's definitely a fun thing - to write, get this stuff read by someone, and even get comments on the result! Oh, and,by the way, don't mind the weird accent, it was VEB's idea, as I've told already"*stares at the door angrily again*", and not me writing the whole thing that way. In case of an urgent need to throw something at someone, bricks are located under, or in between your seats. Thanks you all nce again, especially the 1337th viewer. Bye!"
"Okay, who was that kind person?! We need to talk as soon as the accent wears off, hehehehe"

Subtitles! ((switched upon request, sorry for all the inconveniences))
"7h4nk5 y0u 3v3ry0n3 f0r 574y1n6 w17h u5 f0r 1.5 4rch1v35 4lr34dy! 17'5 d3f1n173ly 4 fun 7h1n6 - 70 wr173, 637 7h15 57uff r34d 8y 50m30n3, 4nd 3v3n 637 c0mm3n75 0n 7h3 r35ul7! 0h, 4nd,8y 7h3 w4y, d0n'7 m1nd 7h3 w31rd 4cc3n7, 17 w45 V38'5 1d34, 45 1'v3 70ld 4lr34dy"*5tar35 at th3 d00r an6r1ly a6a1n*", 4nd n07 m3 wr171n6 7h3 wh0l3 7h1n6 7h47 w4y. 1n c453 0f 4n ur63n7 n33d 70 7hr0w 50m37h1n6 47 50m30n3, 8r1ck5 4r3 l0c473d und3r, 0r 1n 837w33n y0ur 53475. 7h4nk5 y0u 4ll nc3 4641n, 35p3c14lly 7h3 13377h v13w3r. 8y3!"
"0k4y, wh0 w45 7h47 k1nd p3r50n?! W3 n33d 70 74lk 45 500n 45 7h3 4cc3n7 w34r5 0ff, h3h3h3h3"

File 5: Discussions over Lunch
“It should open at 9AM, but I doubt I'll be allowed to go in there with a face like this” - he gave a slightly angry look to the husky - “And since the bathroom in the train is closed while we're in the city, I'll have to look for one inside the station... They must have one, surely. By the way, you can let me go now. We can’t make too much noise, yet.”
Grey stood for a little while on top of Dmitri’s tummy, undecided, then gave him one final lick across his entire face, and let him go.
Dmitri took the towel, that the service crew had provided them with the day before, and tried to wipe the dog's saliva as much as possible. It's hard to say that it helped much, but at least the wind wouldn't make his face freeze instantly. He put on his new jacket, and slowly opened the compartment’s door to leave.
-“Come on, a bit of running on the fresh air has never killed anyone... At least that I know of.” - Said Dmitri, waving his hand. The husky stood up and went towards the exit door behind his friend.
-“Just remember - never meddle with me while I'm sleeping, unless you want to get licked all over the face again”.- Said Grey, stating his ultimatum.
Dmitri looked back at the dog again. He was sure, that this was a real warning, but at least Grey didn't seem to be so angry anymore.
~There's nothing that a good scratching behind the ears can't fix, when it comes to relating to dogs~ He told to himself.
The two exited the railway car, and went towards the big building that comprised the station. Finding a bathroom was, fortunately, not a problem with all the signs hanging around the building, and 10 minutes later man and husky were ready to enjoy their short break at the station.
-“I guess we could find someplace to eat down this boulevard... It should go all the way to Amur River, I bet there is a nice view there!” Dmitri said, and Grey rushed forward with excitement, finally being able to explore a completely new place, with many new potential licking victims. That left Makarov to resort to running after the dog again, but, at least, it was slightly warmer there, and he was not as tired as two days ago.
They kept running, with Dmitri having to put some effort in actually managing to see where Grey was going, until the road ended in a small park at the side of the river bank. They looked around in search of any restaurant, but with most of the visitors in the area being tourists, all were closed, and nothing was going to change for the next couple of hours.
-“Let's go back the way we came and look more carefully this time.”- Proposed Dmitri.
-“Why didn't you do that while we were still there?”- Replied Grey with irritation.
“Mostly because what’s 'walking' for you, is 'running while trying not to crash into someone accidentally' for me!”
They both smiled and turned back, looking at the station in the distance. The two slowly began walking up the boulevard, and in 15 minutes finally found a small café that was open at the time, mainly serving all the people who didn’t want (or had no time to) make something themselves to have a breakfast. The owner didn't like the idea of a dog walking inside, saying something about shedding and distracting customers, but nobody else seemed to care about it. Shortly after, Dmitri was happily eating a sandwich and drinking hot black tea, so happy in that state, that he preferred not to pay attention to the world around him.
-“What do you mean 'We have no men currently stationed in Habarovsk'?!”
-“Precisely that, sir. We arrived into this region barely 2 weeks ago, and don't have any solid network of contacts and agents to speak of, sir.”
The general sighed, and turned to the big computer screen, currently displaying a map.
-“So we don't know if he's still on the train, then?”
-“I'm afraid so, sir. We just have to hope he doesn't accidentally leave it before Chita.”
-“Chita?! If that is some sort of a joke, then it’s a terrible one. The city's 2000 kilometers away from Habarovsk!”
“I have no time for jokes, sir, sorry. We have no choice but to sit down and wait for the next two days.”

Question of the week - Why does GeckoZY keeps telling when the next update will be coming, when there was a schedule somewhere at the beginning of the thread? At least I remember seeing one there.

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Tue May 28, 2013 11:56 am
by Silly Zealot
Ten points for Gryffindor if you can find the Predator movie reference.

A2 - File 6: His Story on History

Posted: Thu May 30, 2013 6:40 am
by GeckoZY
If I were to reconstruct the world with just Lego bricks... ...I would lose a foot or two, be sun's core deep in debt and 'proud' owner of a deflating semi-molten plastic sphere. At least, it would have it's own atmosphere.

Here's your update. XD

File 6: His Story on History

Sam was in the bathroom, washing his face, trying to get his current predicaments off of his mind.

-"Get a hold of yourself, you need to do this! You still have a job to complete for your friend and you have to do it correctly!"

His “friend” was someone whom he still owed a lot to due to a series of seemingly unfortunate events, which led to his current situation. Someone whom he had met barely a few years ago and who learned much, too much, about the job he had being doing during that time. Sam could recall the events quite clearly in his mind.


Five years before, the Italian Mafia had hired Sam to kidnap the head of a secretive German organization which had control over several companies and governmental factions all over the world from behind the scenes. The job was supposed to be straightforward and simple: Infiltrate the target's family estate and bring them to his employers to be used as leverage against that powerful organization.

Infiltrating the manor was indeed simple enough. He got himself hired as a waiter and chef assistant for the household. Specifically, he cooked for the owner’s pet dog. He spent most of his free time watching around, looking for patterns, analyzing schedules and eavesdropping during conversations.

The target’s dog was a German Shepherd named Karl, whom he treated as his son. After spending a few weeks helping prepare the dog’s meals, he became fond of the dog and eventually became close friends with him. They played board games, played chase and the occasional exploring. He invited the dog to join him in his adventures, which ranged from simple food trips to what is, from a normal person’s point of view, really bizarre extreme sports.

After getting closer to the dog, he eventually learned from the dog that his owner was grooming the dog to become the next head of the family, which, from the point of view of the organization, was also the new head of the group. The family has been the roots of the organization since its creation during the early 1900s.

After gathering sufficient data by living in the estate for about two months, Sam had started drawing up his plans to kidnap the head. He made sure he had everything planned for almost any scenario. From getting caught mid-kidnapping, to being chased by helicopters across the nearby lake and even in cases that are particularly out of this world like military intervention and extreme weather phenomena. Everything was accounted for except for one small bit, he forgot to account for his friend, Karl.

It was the night before the planned date; the German Shepherd visited Sam’s room looking for someone to play some games with but ended up discovering the plans for the kidnapping. Sam froze in place upon entering his room, seeing the dog holding up those several sheets of paper.

He didn’t stay frozen for long. The dog lunged on the man, baring his teeth and putting into use the training he has gotten from years of practice.

The man tossed the dog off of him and rolled towards his desk. He slipped his hands underneath the desk and brought out a foldable knife. His hand was still a bit shaky from the initial attack, but he stood there, slightly crouched, ready for the next attack.

An angry canine leaped into the room, bouncing off the nearby wall, redirecting himself to Sam. His attack was deflected by the man, throwing him towards the door, shutting it. He used his weight to pin down the dog, still holding the knife close to the dog.

A quick shift of weight gave the dog an advantage, effectively reversing their situation. Karl restrained the man, with his teeth just inches away from the man’s throat. They were now locked in their positions as the man also has his knife just a hand’s width away from the dog’s chest. A single move could prove fatal for either one or even both of them.

The dog was staring at the man, ready to attack at a single movement. His eyes were red with anger but Sam saw something else in the dog’s mind. At this situation the dog still had the upper-hand, he could bite the man and avoid the knife’s blade with his much quicker reflexes- the dog was hesitating.

He felt a wave of remorse as he remembered the weeks they have spent enjoying their free times, having a friend whom he genuinely had a great time with. He never really enjoyed the company of his usual ‘friends’, having nothing but money in their minds. Sam let go of the knife, even if it could easily mean the end of him.

Sam was expecting a quick and perhaps painful end, he cannot defend himself from anything that the dog can give him. But instead, he felt a blunt blow on his face. It was still a rather weak punch given the dog’s standard. A knock on the door by the estate’s security quickly ended any plans of further aggression. They were left there sitting in the room, quiet, for the whole night.

By morning, Karl gave Sam an ultimatum. Sam was to work for Karl for the next few years and he should end all plans against his family, or he could easily have him disposed. Sam agreed to the former, and apologized to the German Shepherd. He didn’t want to lose his friend.

They eventually got along and tipped Karl’s dad on the mafia’s plans. The group was easily taken care of through several stock market manipulations and takeovers. A quick end to the enemies that dared threaten the family.

Oddly enough, the patriarch died the next month from a heart-attack and Karl eventually became the head of the group, the family and all of the estates.

Sam, being loyal to his words, joined the organization, and eventually completely regaining the trust of Karl. Nowadays, both of them were busy with their respective jobs, but they still have their fun. Their times together were spent on random vacations, extreme sports and attempts to control the world. An unusual outcome of a kidnapping gone wrong.


Even after all that time, he still felt that the debt he owed was never really repaid. If he was caught by somebody else back then, he was sure that he will not be having the time of his life.

"I'll just hope that I can find them soon enough. They could have done something else. For the meantime, I'll just stick with trying to catch up with that earlier train."

The man finally exited the bathroom after several minutes of just standing there and staring at the mirror. And as he left, he noticed a husky exiting the train car.

~Wait a minute, that husky looks familiar... I think I saw him in Vladivostok.~

He paused for a while and thought a little bit more about it.

~Nah, must be too hungry right now.~

Sam headed for the buffet car, hoping to find a breakfast that was substantial enough to satiate his hunger.


Silly VEB and his conspiracy theories *activates trap door*

You shouldn't be asking that, we both know that we're using that final line to subconsciously brainwash the readers into being our minions... Err... I mean to simply remind our readers when the next update is, it wouldn't hurt anyone, right? Next update would be posted next Saturday. :D

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Thu May 30, 2013 10:36 am
by Silly Zealot
Is it too obvious that only half-revised this part?

Also, some hitman Sam is for going to eat instead of making sure that wasn't the husky he was looking for!

No sense, indeed.

Posted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 9:22 am
by VEB152
Don't be too hard on him, he's a human, after all! We all have our weaknesses!

The further we go through the kinda-slow Archive 2, the more I think that the appropriate name for it would have been "It's hard to keep train ride entertaining, you know!"

File 7: A Title with No Sense

An hour later, outside a cafe in the city, two figures were walking back north through the main boulevard.

-"So, why are we heading back this way again?"

-"Uh... We kinda ran out of one supply, we need to replenish it, hehehe..."

-"I feel that you're not telling me something. Let me guess, would that supply be orange soda?"

The husky froze on his feet, paralyzed in sheer shock by the words.

-"Uh... err... not really."- Grey replied with a clearly fake and unconvincing smile. -"We also need some... ...apples. Yes, apples!"

Dmitri stared scoldingly at Grey for a few seconds.

-"I'm still not convinced."

-"Okay, okay, you got me, I was planning on getting more! I think I drank through the whole pack in one night. Although I'm pretty sure that I only drank 3 out of 6 of them... I wonder, whether I drank two more than what I remember?"

-"Oh, yes, you did pass out!" ~Okay, I might have drank the rest while coming up with my stories.~ Thought Dmitri to himself, as he said that.

-"So, can I get some?"- The husky asked, putting on a regular, for him, puppy face.

-"Sure, why not? But try to moderate yourself, you really snore a lot when you're down!”

-"No, I don't!"

-"Yes, you do! I couldn't sleep for most of the night!"

The rest of the walk was spent by the mismatched duo on arguing on whether Grey was a victim of respiratory deficiencies. They eventually reached a store and bought some additional supplies, some of which were, as unbelievable as it might sound, not just orange soda. After finishing their short-lived shopping frenzy, the two headed back towards the train, as the departure time was fast approaching.

As they came closer to the station, a massive flood of people could be clearly seen in the distance, trying to enter. As the two made their way in, with lots of bumping and apologizing, and even a tripping over, in one instance, they eventually merged with the crowd until finally managing, with no little effort, to board their train.


Dmitri got back onto his seat, and then looked for his note book. Dmitri found it still inside the bag, just where he left it. He tried to continue coming up with things to tell Grey, but the streak of inspiration had come to pass, along with the night in the moving train. He rolled the pen in his hand for a few minutes, but found that he couldn't write a single word.

~Maybe becoming a writer is not such a great idea after all...~ He looked around again, searching for something else to entertain himself with. Reading the book would spark more uncomfortable questions from Grey, should he see the title, so that was out of the question.

~Grey!~-an idea came into the man's head. Dmitri still had a barely reasonable wish to apologise for that not-gentle waking up the dog up that day. He clicked the pen again, so it doesn't accidentally colour the husky's fur blue (that would have been an embarrassing apology!), took it by an end, reached with it for the husky's head, and scratched gently behind the dog’s ear with it a couple of times.

Husky didn't expect that to happen, and the dog swiftly jumped into the passage in the middle of compartment, and looked up at grinning Dmitri.

“Okay, let me guess, someone wants to say 'Sorry for waking you up this morning so rudely, Grey!'”

“Well.... Maybe” - Dmitri said, still smiling.

“Uhm... I should have guessed that faster... Anyway, we still have a lot of time, and if I were you, I'd spend it apologising. So, keep scratching, and, by the way - using pen is lazy!”

“But I can't reach you with just my hand!”

“Get down here then!”

~Well, I can't write a single word anyway...~ Dmitri threw the note book with a pen clipped to it back into the bag, and jumped down on the floor. The train slowly started going forward, carrying a man a a really satisfied dog away from the Far East.


13 train cars closer to the destination, the annoyed cat was looking for a new place to sleep in the piles of bags, filled with mail. Why couldn't any of these humans send a teddy bear, or something equally soft and fluffy across the country, so the cat can finally sleep well while not being at work? And boss is even better - why couldn't he ask someone to get her a nice, regular ticket? The financial crisis could not hit the company so badly, especially since they gave tickets to that person they don’t even know the real name of!

“A-ah, why am I even thinking of it? There is nothing I can do now, at least without some more money.”

A few minutes later she found a small space in the far end of the carriage that was just big enough for her to fit in.

“All right, let's go and sleep for a little whi-i-ile, and then I can do a bit of an intel. Heheh, everyone’s going to love this!”


The next update will be coming as soon as GeckoZY is cured from his compulsive world-conquering. I expect it happen on Monday, but... who knows what can go wrong?

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 2:05 pm
by Obbl
Ah, Grey. So impulsive. :lol:
But who is this new cat? Can't wait to see where all the intrigue ends up. :D

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 2:11 pm
by VEB152
Well, that's what Grey is about, isn't he? ;) Actually, I don't know for sure myself, since we haven't finished the story yet, obviously.

You'll have to wait, sorry. Hopefully, the waiting will be over before you get tired of doing it :lol:

Re: Temporal Coincidences

Posted: Sat Jun 01, 2013 8:04 pm
by Silly Zealot
Obbl wrote:Ah, Grey. So impulsive. :lol:
But who is this new cat? Can't wait to see where all the intrigue ends up. :D
The cat already appeared at the end of one of Chapter 1's files.