The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

What do you call a fic that's not a fic

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copper
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by copper »

Seems Harren is quite experienced in these kinds of dealings.... good training.

Alex needs to let go of that past, or she plays right into Pete's talons, it seems.

A few mistakes on spelling, but a great story! :D
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by MilesKingford »

I still haven't decided how the next part should go. After all, this will be a pivotal moment in the story, it should be just right.

hmm....

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by copper »

It is midst, not mist...

Good story! A family member! And one so very, um..... remarkable?

Nice courtroom drama.
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Karl
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by Karl »

Hmm... I know this fan fiction is supposed to be PG-13, but while reading earlier updates, I didn't think it would start to go in such dark direction.

Also I have a feeling that you ruched up the story this time, which led to lack on details. You must work on structure of your plot so the feelings you want to wake in your reader can be stronger.
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by copper »

Ummmm, this is completely out of Comic continuity. Not even parallel to it, really...... just way off.

Keene has no idea what the guardians are, Tarot has been a resident for a while, Pete was never chained like that, the invasion of the place is way off for tarot or Dragon, as would trying to kill an avatar like that, and Dragon was the one who trapped Pete, so Tarot would know about any forcefield attached to it. And I doubt Tarot is centuries old, although that is debatable right now.

Anywho, it was a good update for your story, if a bit out of whack for characters. It was enjoyable.
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

Post by copper »

Huh, quite the jump in time, I see. Let us hope we find out what will happen in the end.

I wonder why Karishad is in a maximum security prison?

Hmm, Alex is now being actively searched for. I wonder why. :roll:
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Re: The Unwritten Chapters (PG 13)

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