Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

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trekkie
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by trekkie »

Sorry to hear about your ear infection, those can be horrid, sorry I’m so late saying that. I think you’re doing great, the only advice I’d give is that the darker purple was a touch hard for me to read. Just because of the color, not because of the writing style, which is excellent, very easy to understand and follow.
“Freedom has cost too much blood and agony to be relinquished at the cheap price of rhetoric.” - Thomas Sowell

“The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.” Phyllis Diller
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Amazee Dayzee
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

While I know probably a lot of people won't want to do it and just say you should ditch the purple text, what I did was highlight the text to read it. Just something I want to put out there.
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Dogglar »

Davis or Lindsey's text? I really can't tell it's that dark because of my monitor settings.
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by trekkie »

Davis’s. Again not a huge deal, but it was hard for me to read at first.
“Freedom has cost too much blood and agony to be relinquished at the cheap price of rhetoric.” - Thomas Sowell

“The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.” Phyllis Diller
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Dogglar »

Okay, so his speech is colored in #400080, which looks like this

So I can change it to look like this.

This is Lindsey for reference
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

It still is purple so I think it will work and definitely won't be too hard to read and the text color won't have to be changed that much.
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by trekkie »

That's easier to read for me, I like it.
“Freedom has cost too much blood and agony to be relinquished at the cheap price of rhetoric.” - Thomas Sowell

“The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.” Phyllis Diller
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Dogglar »

All of the previous chapters have been updated as well
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

Great that you did that so now more people can read it easier.
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by NHWestoN »

I can't do purple. Sorry.
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Dogglar »

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm okokokok I'll give it some more editing
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

There are colors that are like purple but are not purple. There is red-violet (#C71585), medium purple (#9370DB), pale purple (#FAE6FA), mauve (#E0B0FF), thistle (#D8BFD8), orchid (#DA70D6), heliotrope (#DF73FF), phlox (#DF00FF) and mulberry (#C54B8C). Hopefully that helps.
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Dogglar »

Tremendously, finding hex codes that actually work in the text is hard sometimes, I appreciate it
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

I am just in awe about how many shades of certain colors there are.
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Dogglar »

Chapter Six - Operation



Agent Lindsey dashs around the corner and falls next to Ralph.
"What happened?!"

"Oни здесь! Хватай их!"
("They're here! Get them!")


Lindsey responds only with gasping as Ralph tends to her.
"Are you hurt? Sarah, listen, are you hurt?"
She winces as she nods. "K-keep an eye on them! I'll be fine!"
Ralph peeks around the corner to find nobody there, an opportunity to move, but he instead stays by his companions side.
"Okay, they've gone back. I need you to go down the stairs and get Fox, Kevin, and the other one, your girl. Take them around to the stairway, but keep going along the ground floor, right corner. I'll stay here."
"No no no that's a bad idea, you'll...okay, okay. Don't get in over your head." She hesitates. "Ralph I-"
"Go, quickly! I'll be fine!"

"Where's Ralph?! I didn't see him!"
"Left! Left! Bruce, keep the one in the center in that room!"
Bruce proceeds to fire above the door of the room the thug retreated into. The rounds impact the brick, throwing small pieces of brick down onto the balcony.
"He's not comin' out anytime soon!"
"Good. Fido, come quickly!" Without another word, he sprints from the planter to the alleyway on the right. Fido catches up quickly.
Davis takes their place at the planter from the vans.
Pressed up on the wall, Fido asks,"Why has it all gone quiet?"
He holds his paw out in the air. "Sssh, sssh."

"я здесь."
(I'm here)

"Успокойся! Я думаю, они не за горами! Слушать..."
(Keep it down! I think they're around the corner! Listen...)

"They're smarter than that. You must first respect your opponent to fight them. My guess, they are...debating. I never learned Russian."
Holland stays quiet for a moment, then very slowly peeks around the corner.
"...Okay, go now. Stay close."
The two move at a snail's pace, carefully placing each foot in front of the other as deftly as possible.
Sergeant Holland waves his hand to the right. Fido...doesn't know what it means. He waves more aggressively, then looks to him after a bit longer. Fido shrugs and shakes his head, then Holland, obviously frustrated, points sternly to the wall opposite him. Fido carefully moves over, and they wait.

"Ты псих! Давай, Максим наверху застрял!"
(You're crazy! Come on, Maxim is stuck upstairs!)

"Хорошо."
(Fine.)


A weight is lifted from the air as the agents hear their opponents walk away.
After a moment, Fido, as silently as possible, sits down on the wall from his crouched stance. "Phew."
"You'll be fine, my friend. Let's go."
Fido takes a moment to catch his breath, then runs with Holland to the end of the alleyway.

Fox leans out from the van, looking down the alleyway, as Kevin holds the corner nearest to the street with their companion, Kayla.
"What do you see?" ,she asks.
"One of your buddies. Fido should be over there..."
"Which one is Fido?"
"Nevermind. I-"

A very sudden commotion arises from within one of the rooms further down the balcony.
"Выходи сейчас же!"
(Come out, now!)

Almost as soon as the assailant yells the words, multiple figures emerge from the room.

Behind the wall, Kevin can hear a familiar voice.
"Drop your weapons and put your hands up!"

"Где он!?"
(Where is he!?)

"На меня! Помогите!"
(On me! Help!)


*BANG*

Following the discharge, the commotion becomes much greater as nearly a dozen more suspects emerge from multiple rooms on the top and bottom floors.
Bruce takes a peek over the planter.
"Ohhhhh that's not good."

As Kayla and Kevin hold their guard, Bruce's voice chirps through the radio. *BEEP*"Kayla, I need you over here! Now, please!"
She says, looking back to Kevin,"Stay here, keep him safe.", she nods in Fox's direction.
Kayla sprints across the parking lot to the planter, blindly firing in her wake. Bruce takes the cue and follows suit. Some of the criminals stay behind cars while the others return fire. Two of them take a graze in the arm and drop their weapons, but raise their hands. The remaining six continue their barrage as their accomplices kneel on the side. Davis trades with Kayla to move the detainees back to the vans, muttering,""Come on, punks, let's go to the squad cars.".


Sarah comes down the stairway and towards the van.
"Where's Kayla?"
*BEEP*"We've got two surrendering!"
"Oh how convienient. Nevermind that. Fox!"
"AH! Don't sneak up on me like that!"
"Quit kidding around, let's go. Where's the other guy?"
"Forget it. No time, no time. Errrrrr...Come on!" She starts racing back the way she came with Fox.
When Sarah reaches the corner, she goes past the stairs and towards the back end of the property.
She and Fox both overhear stammered and scattered speach in a language they are not familiar with. When faced with a short hallway leading back to the front of the building, the duo spots the remaining six assailants.
"HEY! Stop right there!"
"No, Fox- Ugh. Hands up! Come on!"
They each turn on a swivel, facing them. The roughest, and shortest, of them wears a wide smile and points his weapon at them. His posse follows suit, and Fox and Sarah are now stuck in a narrow corridor with six guns pointed at them. With no feasible options, they drop their weapons and hold their hands up high. Fox is frightened while Sarah is just exasperated.
"Fox, you fool..."
"Ssssshhh...Надень их."
(Ssssshhh...put 'em on.)

The shortstacked gangster holds his hands together to represent cuffed hands.
The rookie and the veteran both know when to comply, and proceed.
"А теперь тихо, мальчики, пусть выходят вперед. Мы поставим их на место."
(Quiet now boys, let them come forward. We'll put them in their place.)


With his adversaries rapidly approaching, Ralph acts as quickly as he can. He charges around the corner and through the bandit in front, and tackles the one in the back, leaving his friend understandably disoriented. When the brigand manages to ground himself, he turns to find his friend in Ralph's grip. Leaving him no other rational choice than surrender, Ralph manages to convince both to pacify themselves. Ralph performs the arrest and moves on.
After a moment, the hardened Sergeant observes a sudden silence, both in gunfire and shouting.
He reasons with himself,"Better bruised than worse...", and starts down the alleyway in the same direction he implored Lindsey to take.

With everything unfolding, the climax of this battle may be very dangerous if not handled properly.

And possibly deadly.

END OF CHAPTER SIX

Author's Note:
How's everyone been so far? Shoutout to Hagus for the start of his new fanfic, "The Griffin's Champion"! Get better soon :)

As always, all criticism is appreciated, and I appreciate your guys' help with dialogue coloring. I apologize if I've made it convoluted and confusing by having so many characters, but the Russian text is supposed to help in that regard, as well as trying to feature some characters more frequently than others so it's not a full-on rainbow that has to be deciphered.

I hope you all enjoy, but...
Good night! :D

EDIT: I cannot believe it I forgot to finish the chapter title
Last edited by Dogglar on Tue Oct 06, 2020 9:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

Awesome job writing this story! I was waiting for you to get back to writing it!
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

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Amazee Dayzee wrote: Wed Sep 30, 2020 11:30 pm Awesome job writing this story! I was waiting for you to get back to writing it!
... and with Cyrillic subtitles!
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by trekkie »

I love the backstory you're giving to Ralph and Sarah. Excellent job!
“Freedom has cost too much blood and agony to be relinquished at the cheap price of rhetoric.” - Thomas Sowell

“The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.” Phyllis Diller
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Dogglar »

COVID cannot stop me, I won't let it!

Alright let's do this.
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

Onward to the reveal that Sarah is Ralph's sister!
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Harry Johnathan »

Neat story.
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

I hope that the next part of the story is up soon! I really enjoyed reading up to this point!
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Dogglar »

...dusty
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Harry Johnathan »

Dogglar wrote: Sun Sep 19, 2021 10:55 pm...dusty
Dusty? More like cryogenically sealed, ready to be brought back to life.
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

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Dogglar wrote: Sun Nov 15, 2020 1:06 am COVID cannot stop me, I won't let it!

Alright let's do this.
lol I really jinxed that one
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

So you are saying that you did eventually get COVID? That must have been scary and I hope you managed to recover fully!
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Dogglar »

Amazee Dayzee wrote: Mon Sep 20, 2021 2:39 am So you are saying that you did eventually get COVID? That must have been scary and I hope you managed to recover fully!
I think I wrote that while I had COVID, but I'm young so I'm completely fine. But thank you for your concern!

I stepped away because I started a job and school was starting to get backed up. Now that I've gotten used to actually having responsibility I think I can manage to touch up on this some more.
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

That is good because when you said that I got a bit worried. Anyway can't wait to find out that Sarah is Ralph's sister in the story! :mrgreen:
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Dogglar »

Amazee Dayzee wrote: Mon Sep 20, 2021 11:18 pm Anyway can't wait to find out that Sarah is Ralph's sister in the story! :mrgreen:
Honestly who knows at this point. I certainly don't!

Anyways, I have an update. Officially, I am going to try to jumpstart this, but I have some bad news;
I will be unable to do much for the next month or so, so updates will be few. However, when that time comes around, I'll be able to work on it more.

Thanks, y'all :D !
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Harry Johnathan »

Awww... well, see ya around.
Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But [The LORD] said, “Yes, you did laugh.” - Genesis 18:15 (NIV).
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Re: Operation Homecoming - A K9 Story

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

Since you don't know how they are related, that gives me time to convince you to make them siblings! :D
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