You are my Sweetest Downfall

[Obbl]

Had a moment and needed to get this out. There isn't really any joy to find here, so please don't read if you're not in the right frame of mind for sad.

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"Grape..?"

No response came. Max looked over the quiet hunched form of his darling mate. The room felt so empty, the only sound the hum of the irritatingly bright light and the overly loud tick of the clock. The purple cat sat still on that stool and seemingly hadn't moved a muscle in over an hour and a half. He stepped up and put a black paw on her shoulder, and though she leaned into it a little, there was still not much reaction. Looking beyond his mate, Max's eyes fell on the cinnamon brown fur of another mate. He still couldn't overcome the feeling in his heart that Peanut would open his bright eyes again, sit up on that cold steel table, and laugh and joke with them like normal. Like the six years of a normal that had defied all norms. The normal that the four of them had worked so hard to build.

But now?

From outside the door of the sterile room, Max could barely hear the sound of Tarot sniffling. She processed things in her own way, but the black cat knew she would return to her mates again when she needed community. Somewhat unexpectedly, it was Grape that Max feared the most for. If the last month had eaten away at her, the last hour had hollowed her out. His precious cat had turned inward. Her tail hung in the still air, her ears showed no emotion at all. Mom and Dad Sandwich had finally left her on her stool and went to sit in the lobby once it became apparent that she could not be reached. Max's own dad had only been able handle showing up to say goodbye to Peanut before giving Max a firm hug and a manly nod of understanding then heading back out. Everyone was broken, and as much as he hated himself for it, he couldn't help but feel it was unfair that he would have to be the one who was steadfast in all of this turmoil. He'd taken the longest to warm up to their "little arrangement," but that had never been for a lack of love for Peanut. The dog did display a naivete that frustrated the more wily cat at times, and the particular spark between Peanut and Grape had felt threatening at first. Ultimately, though, the others had shown him what it meant to share a deep love and unwavering trust for each other that was both freeing and beautiful, and he never regretted his decision to embrace all three as mates.

And now?

The tears welled up in Max's throat again. He had forced himself to watch as they put the syringe into Peanut's thin shoulder and injected a lethal dose of sedatives. Such a peaceful passing. It was probably the most peace the dog had gotten to experience since the vets had confirmed his cancer just over a year ago. Grape and Peanut had both been so confident at the beginning. Even Max and Tarot felt strongly that everything would turn out alright. The four of them had been taking on the world together for years, and this would just be one more of life's many speedbumps. The treatment took a terrible toll on them all, yet Peanut's continued optimism galvanized them at every turn. It wasn't until Tarot could no longer bear to continue checking into their future that Max had even allowed himself to consider a life without his brother mate. The dog's light shined so brightly. He touched every part of their life. He and Grape created a positive feedback on each other pushing all four mates to boldly charge forward in life. And Max had grown to love the mutt in ways that he'd never thought possible.

And now Peanut was gone.

A paw touched the one resting on Grape's shoulder, and Max looked down to see Grape rest her head on their paws. Her eyes remained fixed on the body of their lost mate. His cinnamon brown fur had been growing back in nicely. The chemo had not done Peanut any favors. Fur fell out in patches and clumps. Even the powerful spirit of Peanut had wavered after months of watching it all disintegrate before his eyes. Max had found the dog sitting on his parents' bed contemplating himself in the mirror.
"Peanut? You feeling okay?"
Those floppy ears had perked up right away, "Oh, yeah," before falling slightly, "I guess I'm as good as I can be."
What a monstrous thing to do, to take a brave and joyful dog like Peanut and slowly break him down like this! Taking Earl's clippers, Max had trimmed everything down short so the patches were less noticeable. They had laughed and cried throughout, Peanut saying it made him look extra naked, and Max had spent the next half hour just grooming his mate as they held each other. Despite the jokes, it was the most vulnerable he'd ever seen Peanut, and it had hurt so much to be incapable of more. They'd bundled up all the trimmed fur in one of Mom and Dad's sheets and dumped it in the back yard for the birds. That cinnamon brown fur had always smelled of dog, first and foremost, and it wasn't lush and soft the way Grape's and Tarot's was. Over the years though, Max had come to enjoy the contrast of the stiffer shaggy fur beneath his fingers, and the smell -- he remembered it well -- it made him think of a warm carpet on which to snuggle by a fire in the deep of winter. He'd never put that thought into words, and only now he realized that Peanut would probably have liked to hear it.

But Peanut could never hear those words now.

One month to live. That was the ultimatum. Max watched with growing despair as Tarot began to shut down and Grape slowly withered. Yet Peanut, more determined than ever, dropped the chemo so he could enjoy his last month with his mates and pulled all of them together with sheer force of will. And once he set out to enact his will, that cinnamon brown dog was unstoppable. Even Max had to admit, that was the best month they'd had in a long while. From imaginate sessions to picnics in the park to mischief at the Good Ol' Dogs' Club, despite the hardship on Peanut's already frail body, they'd left nothing undone. Then the night before today, when the pain was making it difficult for Peanut to even sleep, Dad Sandwich had called the vet to make the appointment. So that was the night, the last night Peanut would spend on this earth, and they'd stayed up till morning snuggling and enjoying each other's company, then went outside to watch the sun rise over the trees. Peanut had made them all promise they would take care of each other and that they would never forget him. He was so scared to reach the end of his journey, but no one had wanted to mar those final moments with their fears, so they'd just told Peanut they'd be with him soon, and expounded on how great an adventure the next life would be together.

And now he was gone.

It was all so unfair. Max's free paw clenched into a fist as he squeezed out some stray tears from eyes. Peanut was still so young, so full of life, had so much left to do! The four of them had built a life together. They weren't asking for much. They were happy with what they had. Why couldn't they just have that? The black cat turned back toward the still unmoving Grape, his concern growing steadily with each tick of that clock.

And what now?

People and pets would remember Peanut as a happy go lucky dog who loved to draw comics and played imaginate with all the neighborhood pups. The wolf cubs and King and Bailey's pups would forever remember the goofy faces and fun games, and no one would ever forget the unusual relationship he had forged with his mates. But then time would pass, and his memory would pass out of mind. His deeds would be forgotten, and history would move on without a single mention of that cinnamon brown fur in its annals. And for those left behind? Were they just left to find their own way forward?

What now?

Grape's helpless form called out to Max. Slowly her shoulders rose and fell with her breath, but she was held spell bound by the lifeless shell of her mate. He took a deep breath and, with one last look to Peanut, Max wrapped Grape in his arms the way she always liked to be held. Peanut was gone, and Max had no answers for that, but he couldn't leave his first love to suffer this way. Finally, the spell broken, the purple cat turned to look into her mate's eyes, and he looked back into hers. Her eyes were so empty, and the fur around them was soaked and twisted. There were no more words to say and no more tears to cry. Max tucked her head into his chest and held her close brushing his paws gently through her fur.

"It's gonna be okay, Grape."

She just held on to him, needing a rock to cling to. The feeling of unfairness hit him again, and his face squinched in frustration at the unwanted intrusion in his mind. But there was no way to escape that feeling. After all, who, Max wondered, was going to hold him and tell him that beautiful lie that everything would be okay?

[trekkie]

I have to admit I cried a little. You did a beautiful job of describing the relationship between between the two couples and between Maxwell and Peanut, and helplessness when a loved one passes. ETA: I feel like hugging Maxwell, Tarot and Grape.

[CunningFox]

Absolutely beautiful.

[GameCobra]

Heavy, but man so realistic and sad. Poor Peanut

Good stuff, Obbl.

[Nathan Kerbonaut]

This story hit hard. Powerful writing, I'll be thinking about this for a while.

[NHWestoN]

Heartbreaking. You're style is very moving and tender.

[Amazee Dayzee]

This story just hit me right in the feels and it hurts a lot. Nice job on writing this!

[RemonyRavine]

This was beautiful.

It was very bittersweet, and beautiful.

What really got to me with this is that you've taken into detail of the developments that occurred in the comic's canon--this newly forged relationship between basically all four of the characters in this story. It makes me realise just how much potential there is for. . . would one call it a Love-Square? Whenever the phrase "love triangle" comes up, it's often associated as antagonistic, which was certainly not the case here. Hmmmm. . . I'm going to have to workshop this terminology!

Basically! What I'm trying to say is, I was very happy with the development of the love between Peanut, Tarot, and Grape, and even Maxwell! And I'm glad you brought that into play with this read. This shared connection the four of them have, these shared feelings, the willingness for all them being. . . happy together!

Tragedy can hurt, and the pain can last a very long time, but it's that tragedy which can also brings people ever closer together, to not want to lose another. This short but (bitter)sweet read helps emphasise on that, and it's for that reason it's so beautiful.

Well done. Now Imma go sort out my heart-strings.

[Buster]

i don't think love square works, as i've seen that used before with hero characters who are attracted to each other, but both have secret identities who are their own main competition for convoluted reasons (worst offender by far was fan works made during Mriaculous' first season. Marinette and Adrien in cannon was already bad, but... ow.)

also, pretty much all of the "love (insert shape here)" labels already out there imply antagonism or competition anyway, so even if you make a new one it might be assumed to be like the others.

[Amazee Dayzee]

I believe that it would be easier to classify it as a polyamorous relationship rather than a love square at least on the part of Peanut and Grape who have a relationship with each other as well as with Tarot and Maxwell.