(Meta-fic) Please Stop Letting Grape in Here

Amazee Dayzee · Post by **Amazee Dayzee** » Wed Oct 02, 2019 2:22 am

So this fanfic has become so crazy even the dead can rise again. Awesome! :3

Buster · Post by **Buster** » Wed Oct 02, 2019 7:47 am

not what i was implying. more that you wont see anyone who didn't already have a way of coming back, dying. i haven't added any.
you know, something like being immortal and living in a place where the passage of time is weird so taking centuries to heal having your head cut off, or being chopped in half, by an angry corgi with a magic sword is far less of an inconvenience than it should be.

Amazee Dayzee · Post by **Amazee Dayzee** » Wed Oct 02, 2019 2:42 pm

Oh I'm sure it is far less troublesome because they act least are able to regenerate since they have that prior to their demise.

Buster · Post by **Buster** » Wed Oct 02, 2019 3:49 pm

If anyone sees Lester planning to go to a movie adapted from a Japanese novel please stop him BEFORE we have to arrest him for arson next time? Please?

-Fido

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Peanut,

The book club would like me to remind you that the complete unabridged works of L. Ron Hubbard, take more than one afternoon to get through for most pets. or people. even some computers...

Reading through all of them thoroughly enough that you can recite entire chapters word for word in only a few hours is actually kinda, not physically possible, and frankly terrifying.

-Fox

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Knight please stop trying to tear down the tree car, the squirrels live in that thing.
Besides the entire department spent a week trying to get it out of that tree and we couldn't, you're wasting your time.

-Fido

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How is it you guys are actually competent at keeping cats out of meetings when Bino isn't here, but when he is you just stand around snickering at the inevitable tantrum he thr

Nevermind i just answered my own question.

-Fido

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Peanut, why does your teleporter ALWAYS land you on top of Bino? That can't be coincidence.

-Fido

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Would dogs please stop tricking bino into standing on the bulseye peanut put on the floor? It's a warning where he's going to land, not an invitation to prank someone.

-Fido

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While i'm sure Kevin will be pleased, the rest of us are just confused why anyone would want those calendars. let alone one dog buying all 100 of them.

-Fido

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Also, Sasha, Bino would like to have a word with you.

-Fido

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So would your owner's credit card company.

-Fido

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Also tarot says she's going to be marathoning the Halloween movies Friday, anyone who wants to come is welcome.

-Fido

trekkie · Post by **trekkie** » Wed Oct 02, 2019 7:00 pm

I’m enjoying these notes/chapters very much. Keep up the good work.

Some observations:
The dogs seem to like pranking Bino.
Peanut is an astoundingly quick reader.
Does Bino still think Sasha is is girlfriend even after she ordered all this Kevin calendars?

dr_eirik · Post by **dr_eirik** » Wed Oct 02, 2019 7:05 pm

trekkie wrote:I’m enjoying these notes/chapters very much. Keep up the good work.

Some observations:
The dogs seem to like pranking Bino.
Peanut is an astoundingly quick reader.
Does Bino still think Sasha is is girlfriend even after she ordered all this Kevin calendars?

The idea that Peanut is an astoundingly fast reader is canon, actually. It's come up a few times, like when he found out about Pridelands and knocked off the previous books while waiting in line for the most recent release. Also, when Fox was astonished that he hadn't read Dune, he found out that Peanut had actually read most everything at the library, but Dune had been checked out that weekend.

Edit: Found the specific comic. Finding out you could search for multiple characters at a time is a real time saver!

Buster · Post by **Buster** » Wed Oct 02, 2019 7:11 pm

that's actually the page that inspired that note. i just took it up to eleven, given that particular author has written 1000+ works, and i would think going through ALL of them in one sitting is a feat even by peanut's standards.

i picked that author specifically because Guinness acknowledges him as the world record holder for most published works.
personally i prefer authors that have a few dozen good books over one that has hundreds of terrible ones, but this worked best for the joke.

Amazee Dayzee · Post by **Amazee Dayzee** » Wed Oct 02, 2019 10:51 pm

I prefer authors that have a few good books over authors that just write for the sake of it also. Though I really don't read books now much anymore.

Post by **D-Rock** » Thu Oct 03, 2019 9:57 pm

I see that Knight is still holding to the "humans things=evil" ideology.

Buster · Post by **Buster** » Thu Oct 03, 2019 11:00 pm

I don't know what tarot and sabrina did to it, but the old manor is off limits until further notice. the walls presently have picked up the habit of spontaneously rearranging. it took us a week to find max and get back out, and Terrence is still in there somewhere.

-Sgt. Ralph

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To the visiting zoo animals, please no flash photography near the teleporter, i tends to set it off.

-Peanut

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Hey fido? how quickly can we send a search party to Quebec?
Bruce is bad at following directions.

-Peanut

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Knight, please stop trying to incite open rebellion against everyone's owners.

-Fido

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Also stop equating the department to slave labor. I DO get a paycheck, and have as much control over my schedule as any other officer.

-Fido

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Okay, who gave knight a lance?!

-Fido

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Bino, i dont care if he's 'one of the faithful' you cant go around giving people weapons!
Besides your stupid cult is about abusing mailmen. what does faith have to do with that?

-Fido

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I will question whatever the heck i want, thankyou.

-Fido

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King and knight have been arrested for causing a public incident.

-Fido

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actually, hang on, Bino, where did YOU get a lance to give to him?!

-Fido

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To anyone in possession of the woodland village's currency,
Dont try to use it outside the village, and don't let your owner's have it.

-Sgt. Ralph

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To the villagers,

While I admit watching officer Bradford turn into a weasel was hilarious, please do not try to pay fines with whatever that coinage was. the insurance paperwork from this incident alone is a nightmare.

-Sgt. Ralph

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Peanut wants to have a word with whoever gave the squirrel in his back yard redbull.

-Fido

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Grape, stop raiding the snack table every week you're not even supposed to be in here.

-Fido

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That is the strangest dogfood commercial i have ever seen.

-Fido

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Miles, turning him into a half-weasel werewolf isn't helping.

-Sgt. Ralph

Post by **D-Rock** » Thu Oct 03, 2019 11:15 pm

Welp, now we got two sources of transformations.

Amazee Dayzee · Post by **Amazee Dayzee** » Fri Oct 04, 2019 12:27 am

That's got to be double the fun right there.

Buster · Post by **Buster** » Fri Oct 04, 2019 7:44 am

D-Rock wrote:Welp, now we got two sources of transformations.

three. you forgot pete.

trekkie · Post by **trekkie** » Fri Oct 04, 2019 11:28 am

I guess Fido is referring to the dog food commercial that Sasha starred in. That was an odd commercial.

Amazee Dayzee · Post by **Amazee Dayzee** » Fri Oct 04, 2019 5:14 pm

It was also very odd that she decided to put on a body suit for it, but then again, it IS Sasha.

Post by **D-Rock** » Fri Oct 04, 2019 8:59 pm

Buster wrote:
D-Rock wrote:Welp, now we got two sources of transformations.
three. you forgot pete.

Well, oops.

Not sure how I forgot the original.

Also, the idea of a half-werewolf, half-weasel reminded me of this character from one of Rick's other projects, Dogmen.

Buster · Post by **Buster** » Fri Oct 04, 2019 9:02 pm

doesn't look enough like a stoat... but still interesting imagery.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, last minute change to the secret santa list, i know there's only a week left before Christmas but Trrence managed to find his way out of the old manor yesterday. would anyone be willing to give him the name they got and get his gift in stead? come see me in private.

-Fido

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I would ask how joey got an 80 chapter novel published on literally no budget, but i'm not sure i would believe the answer.

-Fido

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Fox, next time you start an iceball war between the club and the woodland village, keep two things in mind: 1) ice balls can crack windows, and 2) king can apparently use his sword's sheath as a baseball bat quite effectively.

-Fido

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'king and i were just playing around and it escalated' is not an excuse.

-Fido

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You just HAD to drag the wolves into it didn't you?

-fido

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SNEAK ATTACK!

-Sabrina

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WHY?!

-Fido

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Knight, put the tree back.
you are like mr. anti-fun you know that?

-Fido

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in future events, Sabrina and tarot are banned from making things levitate, fly, or float, King and knight are banned from using super-canine strength, peanut is banned from teleporting an entire snowbank over someone's head, fox is banned from spy gadgets (where did you even get those?) gargoyles are just banned in general, And tiger, please don't launch zach at people.

also why did the wolf team have an extra canine?

-Fido

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WAIT, THAT'S JEFF?! I THOUGHT EVERYONE GOT THAT FIXED!

-Fido

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Fiddler, keys, 10PM on christmas eve is not a good time for a rock concert.

-bino

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Yeltsin, i don't know where you Boris and Rex got those outfits or when you learned to play the drums but you are not turning this into a battle of the bands!

-bino

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I'm calling my brother's squad down here if you don't stop! Both of you!

-bino

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WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY HAVE PERMITS?!

-bino

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Just enjoy it little bro. they'll probably be done by one or two.

-Fido

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No, i have no idea why Keven is in korea.

-Fido

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So, uh... Jack got out of prison...
apparently he managed to steal and pawn all the tazers and cell doors, and just walked out.

-Sgt. Ralph

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would the bigglesworth that has the Bast themed tag please refrain from 'practicing flying' in public? the green glow and frequent crashes are freaking out the neighbors.

-Fido

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Tarot, Please stop making game night so realistic. while it's great you and king are getting along with that lot, seeing joey levitate a car scared the fur off of me.

-Fido

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Bino, the life size mailman pinata is a bit much considering it's just you and knight.

-Fido

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And the 'Wild dogs' apparently i cant believe they're insisting on being addressed by their band name now....

-Fido

dr_eirik · Post by **dr_eirik** » Fri Oct 04, 2019 10:11 pm

Nice to see that Fox and King are still freinds in this crazy reality. Hope that he gets to meet Bailey, too.

Nice work as usual.

Buster · Post by **Buster** » Fri Oct 04, 2019 10:18 pm

i dont think this king meeting bailey would have quite the same end result due to one short yellow-brown complication...

Amazee Dayzee · Post by **Amazee Dayzee** » Fri Oct 04, 2019 11:18 pm

I'm pretty sure if this King meant Bailey it would end in a colossal calamity.

Post by **D-Rock** » Sat Oct 05, 2019 12:51 am

Okay, so seems that Jack maxed out his Pickpocket skill.
Interesting to hear that standard lycanthropy is easier to reverse than the coin or godly shenanigans.
Also, that must have been one heck of a snowball fight.

Nathan Kerbonaut · Post by **Nathan Kerbonaut** » Sat Oct 05, 2019 10:02 am

Lighten up, Fido, magic(k) is fun

dr_eirik · Post by **dr_eirik** » Sat Oct 05, 2019 1:52 pm

Buster wrote:i dont think this king meeting bailey would have quite the same end result due to one short yellow-brown complication...

It will go the way you wish it, naturally. But sometimes if two souls are meant to be together the universe will find a way.

Amazee Dayzee · Post by **Amazee Dayzee** » Sat Oct 05, 2019 6:36 pm

Just as long as the way isn't a totally horrible result, I could be fine with it.

trekkie · Post by **trekkie** » Sun Oct 06, 2019 11:37 am

So Joey is now a published author, I wonder if Squeak helped out at all.

Amazee Dayzee · Post by **Amazee Dayzee** » Sun Oct 06, 2019 2:29 pm

I think that it is fine to assume that Joey did all of the artwork but Squeak was the one who did the revising of the text itself.

Buster · Post by **Buster** » Mon Oct 07, 2019 2:27 pm

I Hope everyone's new years was memorable, lets see what 2011 has in store for us.

-Fido

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We apparently have a new dog in town due to what peanut is calling 'wall shenanigans'. (he tried to explain it to me but it didn't make any sense. something about giving guests canons???) Anyway, i'd like everyone to give a warm welcome to Spot.

-Fido

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Can someone get Kevin a hobby? the big lug thought a tackle shop was a type of gym.

-Fido

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So the K9 unit's ice fishing trip has been canceled on account of weather. a lot of weather.

-fido

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Just FYI, Since we're expecting the power to go out (thanks for the heads up Tarot) King let us bolt an alternator to the windmill the village has and run an extension cord.
Dad will have running water and a working stove, and says anyone can come over tomorrow to use it if you need to as long as you share.

-Fido

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Peanut, put the tv and console away, we need that power to run the dryer and the stove. there isn't much to spare.

-Fido

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I dunno, find a board game or something.

-Fido

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i never thought i'd see the day Knight caved and wanted to come inside, what happened to a dog house being 'more than enough' and us being 'irredeemably corrupted' for wanting mondern conveniences? Little beagle feeling a bit frosty in the storm?

-King

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No Bigs, you are not going to "go deal with the storm". you might be the only bigglesworth with weird magic powers, but you're still just one cat. you're staying here for your own safety.

-Fido

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So i guess i'm in charge while the k9s are busy digging everyone out? I haven't done this in a while...
Oh, Um, thanks for the tunnels peanut, but next time try making them people size instead of dog size.

-Bino

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Has anyone seen scratch? I can't find the little guy...

-Bino

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Apparently the Tree Car is above the snow line, and the squirrels have been able to clear off the little solar plate Jasper got for them a while back, so if anyone small is missing that's probably where they went.

-Bino

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Max cut that out.

-Bino

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Okay, that's it, this side of the house is for DOGS ONLY.

-Bino

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GET BACK ON YOUR SIDE MAX!

-BINO

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WHY IS GRAPE OVER HERE?!

-BINO

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Does someone what to explain to me why Max and Bino are duct-taped to the walls at opposite ends of the house and there's a line of green masking tape down the middle of the living room?

-Fido

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we finished this fast because Kevin got the idea to give spot a shovel. that dog can really move.

-Fido

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so apparently the storm has been getting worse as it moved, we might be out of the woods here, but it's in Chicago right now, and most of the substations between there and here are down.
they're saying it's going to be a week before power is back.

-Fido

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Bigs, i don't see how letting you go would have stopped it. it's a STORM. you're magic but you're not THAT magic. Heck, even Sabrina has more tricks than you do.

-Fido

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Hey, don't you go all glowy eyes echo voice on me mister.

-Fido

dr_eirik · Post by **dr_eirik** » Mon Oct 07, 2019 2:51 pm

Spot is real now? That's a little disturbing...

Love Kevin mistaking what a tackle shop is for.

Nice work!

GameCobra · Post by **GameCobra** » Mon Oct 07, 2019 3:02 pm

Can't wait to find out Spot is secretly a dog Clark Kenting :3

So who taped Max and Bino up? My bet is Grape. x3

Buster · Post by **Buster** » Mon Oct 07, 2019 3:02 pm

GameCobra wrote:Can't wait to find out Spot is secretly a dog Clark Kenting

he needs to save the world, from itself.

dr_eirik wrote:Spot is real now? That's a little disturbing...

and the moral of the story is always wear your helmet.

trekkie · Post by **trekkie** » Mon Oct 07, 2019 3:09 pm

I wonder if Spot will be another hunk that Grape will swoon over.

Good job, as usual.

Amazee Dayzee · Post by **Amazee Dayzee** » Mon Oct 07, 2019 9:49 pm

Since Grape seems like she will swoon over any hunks that are dogs, I'm gonna guess that will be a resounding yes.

Nathan Kerbonaut · Post by **Nathan Kerbonaut** » Tue Oct 08, 2019 9:44 am

Oh god, Peanut's transcending reality to bring his own creations to life. Spot may be helpful now, but will this story corrupt him?

dr_eirik · Post by **dr_eirik** » Tue Oct 08, 2019 10:58 am

Amazee Dayzee wrote:Since Grape seems like she will swoon over any hunks that are dogs, I'm gonna guess that will be a resounding yes.

I don't think that's restricted to dogs. It's just the hunks around her neighborhood tend to be canine. She was anxious to see Res as a were-tiger, after all.

Wonder if he's still transforming when he sneezes?

Amazee Dayzee · Post by **Amazee Dayzee** » Tue Oct 08, 2019 2:04 pm

Sorry I should have clarified. I meant to say that she only swoons over felines and dogs that are hunks. Though I don't believe I have seen her swoon over anybody in the Wolf Pack yet, I guess it pretty much is limited to domesticated canines.

dr_eirik · Post by **dr_eirik** » Tue Oct 08, 2019 3:06 pm

Amazee Dayzee wrote:Sorry I should have clarified. I meant to say that she only swoons over felines and dogs that are hunks. Though I don't believe I have seen her swoon over anybody in the Wolf Pack yet, I guess it pretty much is limited to domesticated canines.

The ones that she's really swooned over have been generally absurdly built, like Jata. Even Mungo. The wolves are built, but they aren't absurdly so.

Post by **D-Rock** » Tue Oct 08, 2019 7:12 pm

Right before I saw that it was Spot that was being introduced, I was thinking portals to other fan fictions opened or something. But hey, we got dog Superman now!

Had me worried about Scratch for a while, honestly.

So, what color did Bigglesworths' eyes turn?

Buster · Post by **Buster** » Tue Oct 08, 2019 7:35 pm

To all residents of babylon gardens,

So, we have some good news, and bad news.
The good news is the power is back.
The bad news us it's currently March 22nd, despite yesterday being January 9th. We tried to use peanut's teleporter to send Spot home and something went wrong. He's still here and time got slightly broken.
Pretty sure it's fixed now though.

-Grape

PS: Also, if you see what looks like a Ginger furred clone of me walking around, can you let us know? she kinda freaked out and bolted.

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Okay who turned the engine compartment of the tree car into a miniature casino?!
great now i've got to find the regulations for that kind of thing...

-Fido

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Would folks stop calling ambulances? Sasha's fine, she's just upset we missed valentines.

-Fido

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I take it back, call everything, she's on a rampage!

-Fido

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has any one seen Bino? Knight says he's missed the last three services.
Sasha didn't hospitalize him when she was doing her whole 'everyone forgot me' thing... did she?

-Fido

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This is the first i've heard of any collar incident...

-Fido

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WAT.

-Fido

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okay okay, lemmie see if i've got this straight, he was trying to reenact an embarrassing moment so he could sell the video, and in the process managed to destroy all his spare collars...

and then he finally gets comfortable stuck without one only to get thrown in the pound, while shopping down town because someone thought he was a stray?

Has anyone told jeff?

-Fido

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What do you mean jeff is in the pound with him?

-Fido

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Oh, Right... Wolf form.
and he tends not to wear pants like that, so can't just change back in public...
hmmm...
So who's going to get them out?

-Fido

trekkie · Post by **trekkie** » Tue Oct 08, 2019 7:50 pm

Nice work on these.

So, now Stripe is in Babylon Gardens too, eh?

Wow, don’t mess with Sasha and Valentines Day.

Yeah, Fido, Bino’s predicament is pretty unbelievable.

I wonder who’ll get Jeff and Bino out? Maxwell doesn’t have much money seeing as how he tried to bribe someone with a quarter.

Amazee Dayzee · Post by **Amazee Dayzee** » Tue Oct 08, 2019 10:17 pm

Hopefully someone will teach Max how to set up a GoFundMe page then he can ask for the money to pay their bail there. XP