Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Now with new GALLERY

Moderator: D-Rock

JageshemashFTW
Posts: 257
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2010 4:28 pm

Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by JageshemashFTW »

There actually is an ‘Incorrect Quotes’ Blog on Tumblr, but for whatever reason the person running it hasn’t updated in a long time. So I figured, in the meantime, I could set up another ‘Incorrect Quotes’ thread here on the forum for funzies. Completely open to anyone who wants to add a quote, of course. Be sure to source when you can!
—-
Peanut: So remember when you told me NOT to burn down the house?
Grape: You burned down the house?!
Peanut: NO! I put the fire out almost immediately. This is a success story!
source:brooklyn99

User avatar
Silly Zealot
Posts: 1756
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am
Location: The land of the dulce de leche!

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by Silly Zealot »

I didn't know about this kind of game. Do we make quotes that were never said but sound completely like something the characters would say?
20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2019, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too!

JageshemashFTW
Posts: 257
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2010 4:28 pm

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by JageshemashFTW »

Silly Zealot wrote:I didn't know about this kind of game. Do we make quotes that were never said but sound completely like something the characters would say?
Yep, that’s exactly it. They can be quotes from pop culture, funny quotes you heard online, or just something you made up yourself.

JageshemashFTW
Posts: 257
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2010 4:28 pm

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by JageshemashFTW »

Max: Why do I constantly feel like crap and waste my time doing nothing?

Max’s Brain: You have depression.

Max: Nah, that can’t be it. It’s gotta be something I ate.

User avatar
Legotron123
Posts: 3892
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2013 3:54 pm
Location: Colorado, missing Michigan

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by Legotron123 »

King: There’s a new feeling inside. It's a lightness. A sense that things will work out for the best.
Bailey: It's called happiness.
King: (In an angry, defensive voice) Whatever it is, I LIKE it!

You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?

JageshemashFTW
Posts: 257
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2010 4:28 pm

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by JageshemashFTW »

King: My wife is too tall for me to kiss. What should I do?

Fox: Punch her in the stomach, then kiss her when she doubles over in pain.

Kevin: Tackle her!

Duchess: Dump her...

Sasha: Kick her in the shins!

Bailey: NO TO ALL OF THESE!! JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN!!

User avatar
Legotron123
Posts: 3892
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2013 3:54 pm
Location: Colorado, missing Michigan

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by Legotron123 »

Max: “When I get stressed I do illegal things!”

You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?

User avatar
Buster
Game Master
Posts: 5251
Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2015 9:26 pm
Location: Σ Disturbing Exploding Face

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by Buster »

Jack: What Ferrari? I didn't steal a car.
June wrote:"I don't think I've tried board games. are they tasty?"
Characters

NHWestoN
Posts: 10761
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:09 pm
Location: North of Boston Boy

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by NHWestoN »

Gale: so, it doesn't have to be hunting season to get Deere on the stock exchange....?

User avatar
Legotron123
Posts: 3892
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2013 3:54 pm
Location: Colorado, missing Michigan

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by Legotron123 »

King: You're enjoying this. You just love to dance around questions and spring surprises when you know something the rest of us don't.
Kitsune: It's like a drug for us gods.

You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?

NHWestoN
Posts: 10761
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:09 pm
Location: North of Boston Boy

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by NHWestoN »

Cerberus: "It was a promotion. Now I get to work with kids!"
Eudoant: "Mine, too. I get to work with low-lifes."

User avatar
D-Rock
Moderator
Posts: 7300
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 12:25 am
Location: Texas
Contact:

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by D-Rock »

Pete: "Look, Cerberus, you have to treat a car like you treat a woman."
Cerberus: "…Go on."
Pete: "……No. I sense I made a mistake of some kind."
Faith doesn't change circumstances. Faith changes me.
Image
Image
Icon by ChaokoCartoons

JageshemashFTW
Posts: 257
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2010 4:28 pm

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by JageshemashFTW »

Bino and Joey are listening to music...
Bino: Hey, what’s this from?
Joey: Oh, it’s from this Japanese band called Ikimono Gakari.
Bino: No, what’s it from?
Joey: ............................ Naruto.

source: ProZD

NHWestoN
Posts: 10761
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:09 pm
Location: North of Boston Boy

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by NHWestoN »

Craig: "I have decided to devote my entire mortal life to the betterment of all beings with whom I share this Terrestrial realm."

Draig: "and I'm gonna help!"

Li'l Dino- demon: "Me, too."

User avatar
Buster
Game Master
Posts: 5251
Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2015 9:26 pm
Location: Σ Disturbing Exploding Face

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by Buster »

Dalas: There is no core breech imminent.
Lester: I know that.
Dalas: Good. Because I'm not sure what I'm even saying at this point.

Joey (mumbling to self): I can't believe he just got tricked into quoting that and didn't notice.
June wrote:"I don't think I've tried board games. are they tasty?"
Characters

User avatar
Legotron123
Posts: 3892
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2013 3:54 pm
Location: Colorado, missing Michigan

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by Legotron123 »

Lester: Lester’s life lesson number one! The ruder you are, the more people will respect you. Why d'you think everyone listens to Bino?"
Joey: "Because he's in charge of the club?"
Lester: "Wrong! Because he’s a jerk to absolutely everyone. I hate him. But I kinda think he's amazing too. I get confused feelings."
Also;
King: "You know why you can't get a handle on me? Because I'm an ordinary person. I'm normal. I'm just a random Corgi who takes each day as it comes. I'm not particularly chatty, handsome or clever, but you know what? I get by. I manage. So don't dismiss me just because—unlike all your pals in that club—my personality isn't the product of a crippling psychological disorder."

You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?

User avatar
Amazee Dayzee
Posts: 16258
Joined: Tue Aug 12, 2014 6:24 pm

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

You're right. Your personality is the result of a sucky childhood and an even suckier adulthood. :lol:

JageshemashFTW
Posts: 257
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2010 4:28 pm

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by JageshemashFTW »

Bino: Grape... Peanut... Where’s Sasha?!

Peanut: Promise you won’t be mad?

Bino: ... I promise.

Grape: We lost her.

Bino: Gh!? Ack?! You-!! *opens a lidded pot and screams into it*

Grape: I think he’s mad.

Bino: HOW DO YOU LOSE A WOMAN!?!

Peanut: ... You forget to cherish her.

User avatar
Amazee Dayzee
Posts: 16258
Joined: Tue Aug 12, 2014 6:24 pm

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by Amazee Dayzee »

Pretty much how Bino lost Sasha in the first place (though considering that Sasha was busy trying to throw herself at his brother, that isn't really that much of a loss.)

User avatar
Legotron123
Posts: 3892
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2013 3:54 pm
Location: Colorado, missing Michigan

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by Legotron123 »

King: "Religion-wise, I don't so much lack faith as actively hate god."

You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?

NHWestoN
Posts: 10761
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:09 pm
Location: North of Boston Boy

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by NHWestoN »

Legotron123 wrote:Lester: Lester’s life lesson number one! The ruder you are, the more people will respect you. Why d'you think everyone listens to Bino?"
Joey: "Because he's in charge of the club?"
Lester: "Wrong! Because he’s a jerk to absolutely everyone. I hate him. But I kinda think he's amazing too. I get confused feelings."
Also;
King: "You know why you can't get a handle on me? Because I'm an ordinary person. I'm normal. I'm just a random Corgi who takes each day as it comes. I'm not particularly chatty, handsome or clever, but you know what? I get by. I manage. So don't dismiss me just because—unlike all your pals in that club—my personality isn't the product of a crippling psychological disorder."
Dallas: "Sooooooo .... we're not gonna play "Sorry" after all?"

User avatar
Legotron123
Posts: 3892
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2013 3:54 pm
Location: Colorado, missing Michigan

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by Legotron123 »

Marion: So I was at Target...
Falstaff: Stop bragging!

You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?

User avatar
D-Rock
Moderator
Posts: 7300
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 12:25 am
Location: Texas
Contact:

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by D-Rock »

King: desperately praying to Bahamut
Bahamut: "Of course, when he's in trouble, he remembers I exist."

source: Noah's Ark. an incredibly weird animated take on the story.
Faith doesn't change circumstances. Faith changes me.
Image
Image
Icon by ChaokoCartoons

JageshemashFTW
Posts: 257
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2010 4:28 pm

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by JageshemashFTW »

King: I’m kinda cold.

Bailey: Oh, here babe. Take my jacket.

King: Aw, thanks hun.

Max: ... Hey Grape, I’m cold too.

Grape: Well dang Max, I can’t control the weather.

Peanut: Hmm... Hey Tarot, I’m a little cold.

Tarot: *looking up from her book* What? Why didn’t you say anything? *takes off her jacket and puts it on Peanut* I keep telling you to remember these things… *takes off scarf and wraps it around him* But, no, you have to be so forgetful… *steals a passing pet’s hat and puts it on Peanut* And now I have to take care of you again-

NHWestoN
Posts: 10761
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:09 pm
Location: North of Boston Boy

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by NHWestoN »

Jessica: "More tolerant? ... Me? .... I already tolerate YOU!"

User avatar
Legotron123
Posts: 3892
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2013 3:54 pm
Location: Colorado, missing Michigan

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by Legotron123 »

Joey: "The back door's this way. No one make eye contact with anybody. Especially not you, Bino."
Bino: "Why especially not me?"
Joey: "Because you've got one of those faces."
Bino: "What's wrong with my face?!"
Joey: "It's basically a punch magnet."
Bino: "So rude! Fox, did you hear that!?"
Fox: "No. Was it about your face?"

You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?

NHWestoN
Posts: 10761
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:09 pm
Location: North of Boston Boy

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by NHWestoN »

Keene: "The important thing about money, Breel, is you can always use it when you run out of cash."

User avatar
Buster
Game Master
Posts: 5251
Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2015 9:26 pm
Location: Σ Disturbing Exploding Face

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by Buster »

I can't believe they put sarge in a cone for going after Keene again.
June wrote:"I don't think I've tried board games. are they tasty?"
Characters

JageshemashFTW
Posts: 257
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2010 4:28 pm

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by JageshemashFTW »

Grape: Heh, this coffee is so good, it’s like catnip! Ha! Right fellas?!

Keene: You would hear crickets chirping, but they were just so uncomfortable by how unfunny that was.

Grape: So what? I’m not funny?

Keene: No, I think you’re very funny! When you’re being sarcastic or you’re up on your high horse. Y’know, as long as you stay right in your wheelhouse.

Keene: *moving around the group* It’s no different for any of us. King is funniest when he’s being an anal retentive train wreck. Your boyfriend sells it with a cocky attitude.

Max: Well, y’know, I do what I do and I do what I do.

Keene: Tiger is amusing because, quite frankly, he’s insane.

Tiger: I made shoes for my rabbit.

Zach: Help me.

Keene: And Alice here... *gestures to Peanut* Well, he can turn a phrase. I’m assuming because I just called you Alice, you’re now imagining me as the maid from the Brady Bunch.

Keene: *dressed as Alice from the Brady Bunch* Am I right?

Peanut: *shrugging* He’s right.

Keene: Tarot believes in a higher power, that’s hilarious to me. Jessica hates everything. Sasha is walking, talking irony. Fox can’t get a date to save his life. And Zach is the town sad-sack.

Zack: I am?

Keene: Yes, you are.

Zach: Aw...

Keene: Me? I’m funny because I commit. C-O-M-M-I-T-T-T-T-T-T-T *pause for dramatic effect* T. I also do funny rants. Matter of fact, there’s only one guy in this entire dump who’s funny, no matter what he says.

Bino: Holy Christmas! Is this new collar made of wool?! I think my cakehole is getting heatstroke.

Keene: The point I’m trying to make is... *clasps hands in prayer* Please... Please, don’t tell anymore jokes!

Source: Scrubs

User avatar
Legotron123
Posts: 3892
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2013 3:54 pm
Location: Colorado, missing Michigan

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by Legotron123 »

Bino: This is what being a great leader is all about. The ability to quickly make bold decisions when you have no idea what the other person is talking about.

You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?

User avatar
D-Rock
Moderator
Posts: 7300
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 12:25 am
Location: Texas
Contact:

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by D-Rock »

Bailey: "Remember that time you dared me to launch the go-kart off a cliff?"
King: "No, I said, 'Bailey, don't launch the go-kart off a cliff.' And you said, 'don't tell me what to do, King,' and then you launched the go-kart off a cliff."

Source: ProZD
Faith doesn't change circumstances. Faith changes me.
Image
Image
Icon by ChaokoCartoons

JageshemashFTW
Posts: 257
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2010 4:28 pm

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by JageshemashFTW »

Max: Okay. Kiss, Marry, Kill. Me, Peanut and Res. Go.

Grape: Kiss Peanut, Marry you, Kill Bino.

Bino: I WASN’T EVEN ONE OF THE OPTIONS! WHAT THE-

JageshemashFTW
Posts: 257
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2010 4:28 pm

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by JageshemashFTW »

Sabrina: Fido! PETA kidnapped Bino!

Fido: Again? How much do they want for him?

Sabrina: Eighty-five dollars.

Fido: That seems cheap...

Sabrina: It’s a good deal!

Fido: Do we have to pay for shipping?

Sabrina: Oh, twenty dollars shipping.

Fido: See, that’s where they get ya.

Bino: WILL ONE OF YOU IDIOTS JUST COME SAVE ME ALREADY!!

JageshemashFTW
Posts: 257
Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2010 4:28 pm

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by JageshemashFTW »

*everyone playing Water Gun War*

Sasha: ......... Hello. It’s me.
Bailey: Are you... are you singing?
Sasha: I was wondering if after all these fights you would withdraw.
Bailey: Oh my god, you are singing! What the heck!
Sasha: To go over...
Bino: ... Sasha? What are you doing?
Sasha: Everything.
Bailey: She’s singing Bino, let her live.
Sasha: They say that time is supposed to heal you. But I require healing.
Jessica: COME TO THE FREAKING LEDGE THEN!!
Sasha: Hello...
Bailey: So... are you gonna take any shots or not, what’s happening?
Sasha: Can you hear me?
Bino: She’s completely off comms, so probably not.
Sasha: I’m here on the payload dreaming, about what we could have been.
Bino: Wait... Is this... Is this ADELE?!
Bailey: Oooooohmyyyyyygoooood. Thisishappening! ThisishappeningRIGHTNOW!
Sasha: When we we’re younger. Not brainwashed.
Bino: She isn’t.
Sasha: I literally do not remember how we were before. What are the lyrics?
Bailey: AHAHAHA!! SHE IS!!
Sasha: There’s such a difference...
Bino: Sasha, no, no, do not do this to me!
Sasha: Between us!
Bino: Please, as your kinda-sorta ex, I am begging you!
Bailey: AHAHAHAHAHA!!
Sasha: And seventy-five miles!!
Bino: SASHA, NO!! YOU’LL GIVE AWAY OUR POSITION!!
Bailey: GO, GIRL, GO!!!

Sasha: HELLOOO FROM THE OTHER SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!!!!!!!!!!

—-

*meanwhile, at the other team*

Grape: .... Does anyone else hear Adele?



Source: Omahdon

User avatar
D-Rock
Moderator
Posts: 7300
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 12:25 am
Location: Texas
Contact:

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by D-Rock »

Eudoant finally manages to escape Hell
Eudoant: gleefully "All the things that I have missed! The Black Plague! The Spanish Inquisition! The Brady Bunch Reunion!"

Source: Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers The Movie
Faith doesn't change circumstances. Faith changes me.
Image
Image
Icon by ChaokoCartoons

User avatar
Buster
Game Master
Posts: 5251
Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2015 9:26 pm
Location: Σ Disturbing Exploding Face

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by Buster »

Tarot: Whoah boy, she's cracked, she's gone nuts. Dragon! *knocking* Dragon! Get a grip!
June wrote:"I don't think I've tried board games. are they tasty?"
Characters

User avatar
dr_eirik
Posts: 1179
Joined: Sun Jan 06, 2019 1:00 pm

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by dr_eirik »

King: what do you make of this, Peanut?
<hands over weather map>
Peanut: Well, I can make a hat or a broach or a pterodactyl...
"Say, this is only tangentially relevant, but how many rings is your tail supposed to have?"

User avatar
Legotron123
Posts: 3892
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2013 3:54 pm
Location: Colorado, missing Michigan

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by Legotron123 »

Fido: How big can your brother write ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME on the side of his treehouse before you get justifiably frightened?

You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?

User avatar
D-Rock
Moderator
Posts: 7300
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 12:25 am
Location: Texas
Contact:

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by D-Rock »

Bino: "Hey, girl, wanna 'Netflix and Chill'?"
Duchess: "How about 'HBO and NO'?
Duchess leaves
Bino: "....I was going to say something rude, but that was pretty good." :(

Cowbelly
Faith doesn't change circumstances. Faith changes me.
Image
Image
Icon by ChaokoCartoons

User avatar
CunningFox
Posts: 336
Joined: Thu Oct 18, 2018 3:26 pm
Location: Scotland

Re: Housepets! - Incorrect Quotes

Post by CunningFox »

Max: There's an old cat proverb that goes, "It's better to live one hour as a tiger than an entire lifetime as a worm."

Bino: There's an old dog proverb - "Whoever heard of a wormskin rug?"

Source: Red Dwarf

Post Reply