The Vending Machine Game!

[Hipstar]

You get a pet that you can have a beer with (therefore he'd be a bad president)

*inserts Maxwell*

[mathgrant]

You get blues artist B. B. King and rock artist Billy Joel Maxwell House coffee.

*inserts Dragonforce*

[Alex]

You get impossible fast solos that are sped up, and a horrible live performance.
*Insert Ozzy Osbourne*

[Hipstar]

You get tired of his shtick.
*inserts animal collective*

[Teh Brawler]

You get a copy of Animal Crossing.
*inserts Sly Cooper*

[Hipstar]

you get one of your favorite game series of all time
*you get Rita*

[caesalson]

You get looting!
*inserts Mr. Bigglesworth*

[Teh Brawler]

You get Mr. Bigglesworth. A different Mr. Bigglesworth
*inserts Gapre*

[The Game]

you get an embarrassed cat

*inserts pen*

[Hipstar]

You get a flowing gyrocopter
Mixing the indecisions of centuries
Into a soupy salsa that cried for its mother
To abort the mission and restart the PlayStation 3.

*inserts feedback*

[Keeshah]

you get white noise.

* inserts CoConuts *

[Teh Brawler]

You get Cocoa Puffs
*inserts Sony Ericsson stock*

[Keeshah]

you get Enron stock.

* inserts 55" plasma screen HDTV *

[EchoFireant]

You get a usable Black & White TV with a DVD player.

*inserts a Nikon D90*

[Black Wolf]

you get a Polaroid camera (loving retro)

*inserts a spirit*

[caesalson]

You get Ghostbusters!
*inserts James Earl Jones*

[Keeshah]

you get THIS is CNN!

* inserts a small hoard of FLEAS!*

[Teh Brawler]

You get a Flea Collar
*inserts a Fender Acoustic Guitar*

[Slippery-Q]

You get a Dean Acoustic Bass
*Inserts a Taylor 814ce <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333*

[Keeshah]

You get the astronought Tayler from planet of the apes

* inserts Pyxis cursed collar *

[The Game]

you get a lightning struck tower tarot card

*inserts a butterfly*

[Hipstar]

you get a diving bell and viola, one of the best films of the decade
*inserts 4chan*

[Ebly]

You don't want to know what you get

Inserts: Something much better!

[Teh Brawler]

You don't get anything back. Great. You just got jipped my the vending machine. It took that great thing from you, and didn't give you anything in return.
*inserts a Strawberry Fanta*

[mathgrant]

You get orange juice!

*inserts O. J. Simpson*

[Hipstar]

you get a murderer OH CONTROVERSY!
*inserts whatever board Teh Brawler visits on 4chan*

[Teh Brawler]

Once again, you get nothing. Cuz Teh Brawler doesn't go on 4Chan. Oh wait, here comes something.......OH SNAP YOU GET EBLY-LIKE WRATH AT THE MISSPELLING OF A NAME EXCEPT IT'S FROM BRAWLER THIS TIME
*inserts Lunesta*

[mathgrant]

You get Viagra, a pill that also helps you in bed (albeit with a different action).

*inserts Cymbalta*

[Hipstar]

you wonder why Heath Ledger did just use Lunesta it works (ps 4chan is awesome i lurk on /mu/ all the time)

*inserts the fact that i am ignoring that mathgrant responded first*

[mathgrant]

You get mathgrant being suicidally depressed because he posted first, and was ignored, which means nobody loves him!

*inserts Cymbalta*

[Teh Brawler]

You get the love of everyone in the forum. Except Loudhawaiianshirt, 'cause he's a jerk.
*inserts a brass hippo head*

[Hipstar]

you give mathgrant a big non jerky hug and you give teh brawler a hug as well because hipsters have compassion too. you have no idea what to do with the brass hippo head so you repackage it to your mother.

*inserts teh brawler*

[Teh Brawler]

You geOH MY GOODNESS I'M STUCK IN THE MACHINE PLEASE HELP I'M CLAUSTRAPHOIC EXCEPT NOT REALLY BUT THEY DON'T HAVE ANY CHEESE PUFFS LEFT SO PLEASE HELP ME
*Inserts a distress call*

[Hipstar]

you recieve the distress call and save teh brawler from a fate without cheese puffs
*inserts cheese puffs.

[mathgrant]

You get Cheap Puffs, the less expensive (and inferior in quality) version of Cheese Puffs.

*inserts the. . . erm. . . "goshdarn". . . Batman*

[Hipstar]

you get the greatest "goshdarn" superhero ever!
*inserts worst superhero ever*

[Teh Brawler]

you get the greatest "goshdarn" superhero ever!
*inserts worst superhero ever*

You get Viewtiful Joe
*inserts Megaman*

[EchoFireant]

you get a NES to play the megaman which you've just inserted.

*inserts Pong*

[Hipstar]

you get entertained for 15 minutes before going outside.
*inserts Beethoven's Symphony #7*

[EchoFireant]

you get addicted to classical music.

*inserts Chef from South Park*