The Vending Machine Game!

NickCole · Post by **NickCole** » Tue Dec 29, 2009 1:40 pm

You get a 1-Up mushroom!

*inserts life*

Hipstar · Post by **Hipstar** » Tue Dec 29, 2009 1:43 pm

you get upset that you couldn't complete the joke I WAS GUNNA BE HIPSTAR SUPERMAN!!!

*inserts Neutral Milk Hotel's In the Aeroplane Over the Sea*

Teh Brawler · Post by **Teh Brawler** » Tue Dec 29, 2009 1:45 pm

You get my anger at expressing boredom at Owl City

HOW DARE YE
*inserts a Prius*

Hipstar · Post by **Hipstar** » Tue Dec 29, 2009 1:51 pm

you get good mileage and cheap gas and sowwy im a hipstar fury (oh god that would be a horrible sight: "yeah my fursona is a raccoon with black rim glasses but I don't really care I'm apatheic to groups even though I'm in the furry fandom. Isn't that ironic?")

*inserts brevity*

Keeshah · Post by **Keeshah** » Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:27 pm

you get FreeFall

* inserts a gold foil wrapped chocolate coin *

mathgrant · Post by **mathgrant** » Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:36 pm

You sit there, waiting for the vending machine to dispense something. Bored, you check your watch. It is 12:54 PM. Your thoughts turn to all of the things you're missing out on right now; you're supposed to be at a party at Mr. Howell's house 1:00 PM, but you absolutely refuse to leave this vending machine until it has dispensed something. If there's one thing you know about Mr. Howell, it's that he knows how to host a truly excellent party, even in spite of his refusal to serve any potables more potent than Dr Pepper. Staring at the vending machine, you see that nothing has come out yet. You worry that you will be late; will they start a round of Apples to Apples without you? As much as you love that game, though, getting something out of this vending machine is obviously more important. Frustrated, you kick the vending machine. The vending machine collapses; apparently, it was only made out of cardboard, and it doesn't have anything in it to dispense. Depressed by the thought of having been fooled by such a trick, you pull out your handgun, which was a present your loving father got you for your 20th birthday, aim it into your throat, and pull the trigger. Nothing happens; apparently, you forgot to load the gun. You run to your car, rifling through the various crevices, such at the glove compartment and underneath the seats, in which your bullets might have slipped. Alas, you fail to find any -- but you do find an unopened can of Hemlock-Cola which you forgot you had. You eagerly open it, planning to drink the contents and end your life. However, it turns out not to be a real soda can, but a safe disguised as a soda can; the safe contains nothing but $17 in change and your grandmother's secret calzone recipe. Wait a minute -- your grandmother's secret calzone recipe? Suddenly, you remember how good her calzones are, and regain your will to live. Instead of attending the party or killing yourself, you opt to drive to your grandmother's house to eat one of her calzones. However, the moment you arrive at her house and exit your car, you see something you did not expect to see: the vending machine, back with a vengeance! It explodes, and not just one, but thousands of gold-foil-wrapped chocolate coins like the one you inserted start raining -- or maybe hailing -- from above. You're so stunned, that the idea of avoiding the chocolate rain (or maybe hail) doesn't occur to you, and you just stand there, getting pelted on the head by the coins. You sustain major head injuries, and die.

(This was intended as a response for "brevity", but hey.)

*inserts "7 Joyful Automatons" again*

Hipstar · Post by **Hipstar** » Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:48 pm

you got shameless self promotion, but hey, well done NES music!

*you insert delicious beer*

Slippery-Q · Post by **Slippery-Q** » Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:53 pm

I get hard-liquor
*Inserts a half-full bag of takis and a pair of skull-candies*

Anthroguy101 · Post by **Anthroguy101** » Wed Dec 30, 2009 12:57 pm

You get El Dia de los Muertos
*Inserts 9001 Pesos*

mathgrant · Post by **mathgrant** » Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:07 pm

You get a posse performing 9001 poses. (Get it? Anagram humor.)

*inserts a MasterCard*

Keeshah · Post by **Keeshah** » Wed Dec 30, 2009 7:30 pm

you get charged 29.9 % on all your purchases

* inserts BBQ ribs *

The Game · Post by **The Game** » Thu Dec 31, 2009 2:25 pm

you get full

*inserts chocolate (yum

)*

caesalson · Post by **caesalson** » Thu Dec 31, 2009 8:14 pm

You get obesity!
*inserts Weezer*

Teh Brawler · Post by **Teh Brawler** » Thu Dec 31, 2009 8:17 pm

You get Weezing.
Inserts a sig banner*

WolvenPaw15 · Post by **WolvenPaw15** » Fri Jan 01, 2010 4:55 am

You get an avatar

*Inserts his own blood*

The Game · Post by **The Game** » Fri Jan 01, 2010 12:22 pm

you get a blood bank

*inserts giant banner that says 2010*

mathgrant · Post by **mathgrant** » Fri Jan 01, 2010 2:20 pm

You get arrested for trying to pass off a giant counterfeit $2010 bill.

*inserts a saw*

Hipstar · Post by **Hipstar** » Fri Jan 01, 2010 2:39 pm

You get a bow and make a musical saw, then you start a Neutral Milk Hotel cover band.

*inserts add looking for band members*

mathgrant · Post by **mathgrant** » Fri Jan 01, 2010 3:01 pm

You get a subtract deciding which band members to do without.

*inserts a plank of wood*

The Game · Post by **The Game** » Fri Jan 01, 2010 3:02 pm

you get kicked by an environmentalist

*inserts zune hd*

caesalson · Post by **caesalson** » Fri Jan 01, 2010 5:29 pm

You get dissapointment!
*inserts Over 9000*

Anthroguy101 · Post by **Anthroguy101** » Fri Jan 01, 2010 5:40 pm

You get the population of Warren.
*Inserts the fact that I hate living here*

mathgrant · Post by **mathgrant** » Fri Jan 01, 2010 5:43 pm

You get a quarter -- call someone who cares (and who isn't an inanimate object, like a frigging vending machine).

*inserts blue Stratego pieces*

caesalson · Post by **caesalson** » Fri Jan 01, 2010 5:46 pm

You get VICTORY!
*inserts leprechaun*

Teh Brawler · Post by **Teh Brawler** » Fri Jan 01, 2010 5:48 pm

You get Diet Dr. Pepper
*inserts a TI-84 calculator*

The Game · Post by **The Game** » Fri Jan 01, 2010 6:09 pm

you get a very confused person trying to figure out how to use it

*inserts Mika*

Keeshah · Post by **Keeshah** » Fri Jan 01, 2010 10:59 pm

you get Flicka

* inserts chocolate coated espresso beans! *

Teh Brawler · Post by **Teh Brawler** » Sat Jan 02, 2010 2:09 am

You get the ability to vibrate through walls
*inserts sparkling Cider*

joeymyhero · Post by **joeymyhero** » Sat Jan 02, 2010 2:30 am

you get bubbles

*inserts lightbulb*

mathgrant · Post by **mathgrant** » Sat Jan 02, 2010 2:33 am

You get an obligatory light bulb joke! How many vending machines does it take to make change for a light bulb? NONE. Because a light bulb isn't MONEY. Also, you get a candle.

*inserts a bed*

EchoFireant · Post by **EchoFireant** » Sat Jan 02, 2010 3:07 am

You get a super large slinky.

*inserts the slinky*

Keeshah · Post by **Keeshah** » Sun Jan 03, 2010 1:03 am

you get a Ferret!

* inserts a Blacklight! OoOooo glowly! *

Teh Brawler · Post by **Teh Brawler** » Sun Jan 03, 2010 1:13 am

You get the cure for cancer.
*inserts Toast*

Keeshah · Post by **Keeshah** » Sun Jan 03, 2010 1:15 am

you get your crusts cut off!

* inserts cotton candy *

Teh Brawler · Post by **Teh Brawler** » Sun Jan 03, 2010 1:17 am

(

Keeshah wrote:you get your crusts cut off!

ouch)
You get a dental appointment
*inserts a witch's hat*

EchoFireant · Post by **EchoFireant** » Sun Jan 03, 2010 1:31 am

You get a vacuum cleaner

*inserts dust bunnies*

Keeshah · Post by **Keeshah** » Sun Jan 03, 2010 1:44 am

you get, a Dust Devil !

* inserts a sun flower *

WolvenPaw15 · Post by **WolvenPaw15** » Sun Jan 03, 2010 4:01 am

You Get BBQ Sunflower seeds

*Inserts Nintendo Wii*

Anthroguy101 · Post by **Anthroguy101** » Sun Jan 03, 2010 12:34 pm

You get a PS3 and a copy of "Project Needlemouse."
*Inserts Joey*

WolvenPaw15 · Post by **WolvenPaw15** » Sun Jan 03, 2010 1:07 pm

You get screwed over by said machine because it gives you Bino for Joey

Inserts King