Housepets!

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 7:04 am**

I teleport beside you and hit you with a pan, then teleports away.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 7:26 am**

Too bad it was one of those aluminium foil pans. XD It just makes a loud noise.

I feed a time-worm the pawful of your fur which I grabbed as you teleported. The worm will now crawl through all of space and time in every dimension until it finds you at which point it will explode very messily.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 7:38 am**

I'll teleport next to you XP

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 7:50 am**

I drop a brick wall between us.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 7:57 am**

I push the brickwall, making it collapse on you.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 8:04 am**

I dig under it so it just falls harmlessly onto the ground. I also dig under you so you fall into a pit 100000ft deep. And no, that's not binary.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 8:26 am**

I redirect magma into your rabbit hole.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 8:33 am**

I use a firehose to cool and solidify your magma.

I throw a gnu at you.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 8:39 am**

I tie you to some high voltage wires.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 12:44 pm**

I throw a boulder at you.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 12:45 pm**

I tail slap you. Nine times, with each tail.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 12:47 pm**

I choke you with a collar.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 12:49 pm**

I drop a anvil onto you.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 12:50 pm**

I smash you with a mallet.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 12:53 pm**

I club you with a GameCube that is welded to a number of Nokias.

Pure evil

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 12:54 pm**

I pinch you with mouse traps.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 12:57 pm**

I crush you in a giant rat trap (it was designed for mutants at the nuclear plant)

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 12:58 pm**

I stab you with a arrow.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 12:58 pm**

I drop a block of flats on you.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:00 pm**

I hit you with a baseball bat.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:00 pm**

I cast Flare on you

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:01 pm**

I push you into a giant fan.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:02 pm**

I push you in a volcano.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:04 pm**

I kick you to the moon.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:05 pm**

I hurl at meteor at you

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:07 pm**

I drop a to Torii gate on you from Heaven.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:10 pm**

I blow the fan boy whistle and they charge directly at you

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:20 pm**

I say you cheated on your girlfriend to a group of feminist and they maul you!

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:23 pm**

I drag you to court for slander and get back up from...

OBJECTION!

Ace Attorney - Phoenix Wright!

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:26 pm**

I plant C4 under your comment and detonate it!

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:29 pm**

I draw your avatar a mustache with magic marker!

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:53 pm**

I paint your avatar orange.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:54 pm**

I give your avatar a reason to blush

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:56 pm**

I hit you with a soccer ball.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 1:57 pm**

I slap you with a bass!

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 2:00 pm**

I hit you with a keyboard.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 2:07 pm**

I crush you with an electrified boat!

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 2:08 pm**

I smash your face with a pumpkin.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 5:25 pm**

I punch you in the face.

Posted: **Mon Jun 17, 2013 5:29 pm**

I stomp your feet.

Housepets!

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