Risks (HP Fanfic)
Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 1:39 pm
Risks
By Daemon
Description: Peanut may be naive, but he isn't stupid. (Sad, Character Study, Semi-Grapenut)
------------
You know, everyone thinks I always have fun, and I never get really sad. Well, Grape knows that isn't true. But sometimes I get angry, sometimes I feel like no one understands. But everyone thinks they do. They think they understand me completely, top to bottom, even Grape. They all think I'm a naive dog who doesn't have a care in the world. Here's a fact: I might be naive, but I'm not stupid. But the fact is, it isn't really about me is it? I love having fun, but that's all I do. Grape is still trying to enter a cat society, while Joey wants to be accepted by other dogs. Fido has his secret relationship with Sabrina, heck, even Fox is trying to change his lifestyle, siding with that King person and such.
But me? I'm always happy, they think. I'm always content having fun. And I think that's what really bugs me. Grape has taken risks, Joey has taken risks, Fido and Fox have taken risks, but me? I never have done any of those things. I have never taken risks to get what I want. I just listen to Grape, because I'm naive and she's responsible. The worst part is is that I know it, and even though I could try, I'm to afraid to take those risks.
I'm such a mess aren't I? I want to change, but I'm afraid to. And the sad fact is, the one time I took a risk, the one time I was going to change my lifestyle, it was too late. Because Grape had called Max. Ever since then, I pretend to be happy for Grape, I pretend to be friends with Max, and I pretend to have moved on with Tarot. Tarot... huh, maybe if I had never known Grape, I believe I would loved her. I actually told her my feelings, told her that I can't love her, and all she did was smile and say that she loved me, and that was enough for her. Whenever I look at her, I feel guilty, because I'm always focused on Grape, and she is dear to me too. I see her as a friend, but a part of me wishes I could love her.
I'm so selfish aren't I? But even now I'm more confused. I'm happy for Grape, but I hate the fact I never took my chance. I want to love Tarot, but I can't.
I want to hate Max, but I can't, because Grape loves him. My head is filled with opposing thoughts, and sometimes I wonder if it would have been better to have never had met Grape. Maybe I wouldn't be so confused about who I am.
So yeah I'm happy, happy for everyone else. Because they have what they want, because they are living their lives the way they wanted it, while I sit, playing my video games, trying to ignore the fact that no matter what I have, I'll never have the things I need. But it's becoming worse, because now it's getting hard to hide behind my happiness. I realized this when Bino began his daily insults towards me.
You're sick you know that? You are just a sick cat lovin-argh! It had happened so fast, and before I knew it, Bino was on the ground, and I was growling.
I wanted him to shut up, I wanted him to stop reminding me of my love of Grape. I wanted him to stop making me hurt! But as I stood over him, my mind cleared. I didn't have a choice, I ran.
I realize now I'm going to have to change soon. I can't pretend to be happy for much longer. I can't pretend to be fine with Grape dating Max. And I can't pretend to ignore Bino any longer. I have to decide. Who am I? I'm not Peanut, the dog who is always happy, enjoying life and being naive. Once I was him, but now... he's dead. I don't know who I am anymore. But I will find out. From now on I will take risks, and maybe, just maybe, I might finally get what I've always wanted.
A/N
This is staying as a oneshot. I wrote this because Peanut is always getting the short end of the stick in my opinion. It's just my opinion and whatnot, but sometimes it makes be annoyed that Peanut is usually presented as naive and a bit... dumb and whenever he is sad or angry he seems to be more intelligent. I don't know if I did the character justice, but this is my take on his personality.
Also, I added the Tarot thing in order to explain my total annoyance with the shipping triangle with Grape and Peanut. Grapenut, MaxxGrape, TarotxPeanut, PeanutxDragon. Really, look how convoluted it is! That's why I presented this as a oneshot. I'm serious fanfic writers, no matter what you do, this triangle literally destroys any chance of no drama.
That's why I presented Tarot/Dragon, as understanding, because she loves Peanut, and I feel Tarot loves him enough to understand if he doesn't love her. And I do feel that Peanut does have some feelings towards Tarot/Dragon, but I feel that Peanut just loves Grape more.
But this is my point here. I don't think I'll ever write a gigantic shipfic because this love pentagon thing is too complicated to unravel. To any writer who tries, good luck.
But if there is any feedback you would like to send me, I'll appreciate it. Grammar, personality, anything really. You criticise me all you want, I want to get better at writing.
By Daemon
Description: Peanut may be naive, but he isn't stupid. (Sad, Character Study, Semi-Grapenut)
------------
You know, everyone thinks I always have fun, and I never get really sad. Well, Grape knows that isn't true. But sometimes I get angry, sometimes I feel like no one understands. But everyone thinks they do. They think they understand me completely, top to bottom, even Grape. They all think I'm a naive dog who doesn't have a care in the world. Here's a fact: I might be naive, but I'm not stupid. But the fact is, it isn't really about me is it? I love having fun, but that's all I do. Grape is still trying to enter a cat society, while Joey wants to be accepted by other dogs. Fido has his secret relationship with Sabrina, heck, even Fox is trying to change his lifestyle, siding with that King person and such.
But me? I'm always happy, they think. I'm always content having fun. And I think that's what really bugs me. Grape has taken risks, Joey has taken risks, Fido and Fox have taken risks, but me? I never have done any of those things. I have never taken risks to get what I want. I just listen to Grape, because I'm naive and she's responsible. The worst part is is that I know it, and even though I could try, I'm to afraid to take those risks.
I'm such a mess aren't I? I want to change, but I'm afraid to. And the sad fact is, the one time I took a risk, the one time I was going to change my lifestyle, it was too late. Because Grape had called Max. Ever since then, I pretend to be happy for Grape, I pretend to be friends with Max, and I pretend to have moved on with Tarot. Tarot... huh, maybe if I had never known Grape, I believe I would loved her. I actually told her my feelings, told her that I can't love her, and all she did was smile and say that she loved me, and that was enough for her. Whenever I look at her, I feel guilty, because I'm always focused on Grape, and she is dear to me too. I see her as a friend, but a part of me wishes I could love her.
I'm so selfish aren't I? But even now I'm more confused. I'm happy for Grape, but I hate the fact I never took my chance. I want to love Tarot, but I can't.
I want to hate Max, but I can't, because Grape loves him. My head is filled with opposing thoughts, and sometimes I wonder if it would have been better to have never had met Grape. Maybe I wouldn't be so confused about who I am.
So yeah I'm happy, happy for everyone else. Because they have what they want, because they are living their lives the way they wanted it, while I sit, playing my video games, trying to ignore the fact that no matter what I have, I'll never have the things I need. But it's becoming worse, because now it's getting hard to hide behind my happiness. I realized this when Bino began his daily insults towards me.
You're sick you know that? You are just a sick cat lovin-argh! It had happened so fast, and before I knew it, Bino was on the ground, and I was growling.
I wanted him to shut up, I wanted him to stop reminding me of my love of Grape. I wanted him to stop making me hurt! But as I stood over him, my mind cleared. I didn't have a choice, I ran.
I realize now I'm going to have to change soon. I can't pretend to be happy for much longer. I can't pretend to be fine with Grape dating Max. And I can't pretend to ignore Bino any longer. I have to decide. Who am I? I'm not Peanut, the dog who is always happy, enjoying life and being naive. Once I was him, but now... he's dead. I don't know who I am anymore. But I will find out. From now on I will take risks, and maybe, just maybe, I might finally get what I've always wanted.
A/N
This is staying as a oneshot. I wrote this because Peanut is always getting the short end of the stick in my opinion. It's just my opinion and whatnot, but sometimes it makes be annoyed that Peanut is usually presented as naive and a bit... dumb and whenever he is sad or angry he seems to be more intelligent. I don't know if I did the character justice, but this is my take on his personality.
Also, I added the Tarot thing in order to explain my total annoyance with the shipping triangle with Grape and Peanut. Grapenut, MaxxGrape, TarotxPeanut, PeanutxDragon. Really, look how convoluted it is! That's why I presented this as a oneshot. I'm serious fanfic writers, no matter what you do, this triangle literally destroys any chance of no drama.
That's why I presented Tarot/Dragon, as understanding, because she loves Peanut, and I feel Tarot loves him enough to understand if he doesn't love her. And I do feel that Peanut does have some feelings towards Tarot/Dragon, but I feel that Peanut just loves Grape more.
But this is my point here. I don't think I'll ever write a gigantic shipfic because this love pentagon thing is too complicated to unravel. To any writer who tries, good luck.
But if there is any feedback you would like to send me, I'll appreciate it. Grammar, personality, anything really. You criticise me all you want, I want to get better at writing.