Housepets!

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 8:31 am**

Granted, it's not cold, just looks awesome and doesn't hang out with you.
I wish I had free time.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 8:34 am**

granted , you HAD free time , not anymore though

I wish for a bottle of everlasting water , which is always at low temperature !

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 9:03 am**

Granted, but the water is poisoned.

I wish there was currently a species of kangaroo native to the U.S.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 7:03 pm**

Granted- Kangaroos have now overthrown the government and the USA is being controlled by the kangaroo population.

I wish to be the luckiest person on Earth.

Posted: **Wed Dec 10, 2014 9:14 pm**

Granted, but bad things that should happen to you happen to anyone that's near to you.

I wish to have a dot like this ---> .

Posted: **Mon Dec 15, 2014 6:17 pm**

Granted. Feel free to print this page, cut out the dot and glue it to your nose. Unfortunately that will be the last thing the printer ever prints.

I wish for new fitting and full batteries for my perfectly working flashlight that will continue to work.

Posted: **Mon Dec 15, 2014 6:55 pm**

Granted, but every time you touch it, you are electrocuted - the flashlight, however, works perfectly.

I wish people would be kinder to animals.

Posted: **Tue Dec 16, 2014 3:16 pm**

Granted, now both animals and people are in Kindergarten

Wish to have some cake

Posted: **Tue Dec 16, 2014 4:22 pm**

"Give him the cake! Give him the cake!" *SPLAT!* Granted.

I wish I could find and keep a job that I like.

Posted: **Thu Jan 01, 2015 3:17 am**

Granted, but your stuck with coworkers you don't like.
I wish for sleep and a dragon to snuggle with.

Posted: **Thu Jan 01, 2015 6:21 am**

Granted. You get sleeping pills. And Smaug.

I wish for new shoes!

Posted: **Thu Jan 01, 2015 9:56 am**

Granted, but they're not your size.

I wish the power cord for my Wacom Cintiq tablet would arrive.

Posted: **Thu Jan 01, 2015 10:25 am**

Granted, it arrives but for the wrong version of Cintiq.

I wish for some lemonade

Posted: **Thu Jan 01, 2015 12:56 pm**

The lemonade splashes in your eyes and burns them.
I wish for the ability to animate cartoons.

Posted: **Thu Jan 01, 2015 6:20 pm**

Granted, once you animate one he goes rebel and attacks you, along with other animations animated by it.

I wish nothing.

Posted: **Thu Jan 01, 2015 6:59 pm**

Granted - you are thrown into an alternate dimension where nothing exists.

I wish I had a well-mannered housetrained miniature elephant as a pet.

Posted: **Fri Jan 02, 2015 11:46 am**

Granted, you get a really nice elefant that is well trained to shower you with cold water every now and then without any warning.

I wish for some snow.

Posted: **Fri Jan 02, 2015 11:49 am**

Some is a vague term, so on universal terms it could be a lot. Your house gets crushed by all of the snow, and you have to move elsewhere. It is expensive.
I wish for my art to improve.

Posted: **Fri Jan 02, 2015 11:53 am**

Granted - one of your most obscure previous creations improves slightly.

I wish I wasn't socially awkward.

Posted: **Fri Jan 02, 2015 12:11 pm**

Granted - as I don't want to corrupt a wish like this I'll simply leave it like that.

I wish for italic text

Posted: **Sat Jan 03, 2015 9:06 am**

Granted, but it is bold italics

I wish for free bananas

Posted: **Sat Jan 03, 2015 10:39 am**

Granted - a whole troop of monkeys will not stop pelting you with overripe mushy bananas.

I wish for a good breakfast.

Posted: **Sat Jan 03, 2015 3:31 pm**

Wish granted, you get a good breakfast, but one that's so good you get an immense dopamine high that makes you suffer from a severe breakfast withdrawal.

I wish for tickets to a hip-hop concert.

Posted: **Mon Jan 05, 2015 12:45 am**

Granted. They are a for a concert that was canceled a year ago.

I wish my ears would pop.

Posted: **Mon Jan 05, 2015 12:18 pm**

Granted, your ears are now balloons, ready for popping.

I wish for a cup of tea in a mug at a reasonable temperature with an appropriate amount of milk and sugar with it and no flying monkeys.

Posted: **Mon Jan 05, 2015 1:05 pm**

Granted, but there's also a sizeable amount of salt in it.

I wish all books had happy endings.

Posted: **Mon Jan 05, 2015 1:11 pm**

Granted, there is only one book in the world.

I wish for combustible lemons

Posted: **Mon Jan 05, 2015 1:20 pm**

Granted - but they only combust when they're in your mouth.

I wish we discovered a cute, friendly, sentient species that we could live peacefully with.

Posted: **Mon Jan 05, 2015 1:36 pm**

Granted, you are allergic to them.

I wish exams were over already

Posted: **Mon Jan 05, 2015 1:52 pm**

Granted - you slept through them and failed your courses.

I wish I had unlimited (legally obtained) money.

Posted: **Mon Jan 05, 2015 1:53 pm**

Granted, but the world doesn't work on money anymore, bananas are now the only currency.

I wish for some ice cream

Posted: **Mon Jan 05, 2015 2:04 pm**

Granted, but you have to make it yourself - here's a cow, sugarcane, and a bucket of ice.

I wish people didn't hunt for sport.

Posted: **Mon Jan 05, 2015 2:11 pm**

Granted, but they hunt you instead!

I wish I hadn't caught a cold today.

Posted: **Mon Jan 05, 2015 2:22 pm**

Granted - you caught it last week and it still hasn't gone away.

I wish I had more stamina.

Posted: **Mon Jan 05, 2015 2:28 pm**

Granted, you cannot bring yourself to stop running though!

I wish I could run further and faster

Posted: **Mon Jan 05, 2015 2:58 pm**

Granted, but you can only run once per day - if you stop you're done.

I wish I knew more about Sulenxi.

Posted: **Mon Jan 05, 2015 3:16 pm**

Granted, you get spammed with daily text messages about them.

I wish I had finished the documentation on Sulenx

Posted: **Mon Jan 05, 2015 3:19 pm**

Granted -- what is that? Anyway, you get spammed too.

I wish

Posted: **Mon Jan 05, 2015 3:22 pm**

Granted but it is backwards.

I wish for some bacon.

Posted: **Mon Jan 05, 2015 4:34 pm**

Your wish is granted in the bacon's worth in actual money, but when you go to the store, you get distracted and buy something else.
I wish to go to the moon, and come back to Earth alive and well.

Housepets!

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