"Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go take a shower so I can't tell if I'm crying or not."
-Bojack Horseman.

"Life is a cooperative venture. Us is all in it together and ain't nobody gettin' out of it alive!"
Pogo Possum.

Hannah: I was thinking I wanted to get him something when I moved in; a present, and since you know him so well --
Brennan: A telephone! Get him a telephone!
Hannah: I was thinking something a little more personal.
Brennan: A vintage rotary phone. Booth loves them and hasn't been able to find the right one.
Hannah: Really?
Brennan: Yes! He's been looking. Booth says that's what a phone is supposed to be: indestructible and heavy enough to knock someone out. -Bones

Hodgins: (to Brennan) If you can perform surgery out of thin air, then I can pull a little thin air out of thin air. -Bones Season 2 episode 9

Those who make the rules always insure to put themselves above those rules ... Different strokes for different folks and different spanks for different ranks.

"Say goodbye to the universe, Maximals! The future has changed, yessssss. The Autobots lose! Evil triumphs! And you...YOU NO LONGER EXIST!"
-Beast Wars Megatron.
Most villains make a season ending cliffhanger by dealing the heroes a really bad defeat. Beast Wars Megatron makes a season ending cliffhanger by negating the heroes existence.

There is nothing new under the sun. It has all been done before

If we could fly out of that window hand in hand, hover over this great city, gently remove the roofs, and and peep in at the queer things which are going on, the strange coincidences, the plannings, the cross-purposes, the wonderful chains of events, working through generations, and leading to the most outre results, it would make all fiction with its conventionalities and foreseen conclusions most stale and unprofitable.

-sherlock holmes

"If you can't say something nice, you can just sit right here by me."

Oh Mr Moseby! (Does that count as a quote? Don’t care, already submitted)