"Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go take a shower so I can't tell if I'm crying or not."
-Bojack Horseman.

"Life is a cooperative venture. Us is all in it together and ain't nobody gettin' out of it alive!"
Pogo Possum.

Hannah: I was thinking I wanted to get him something when I moved in; a present, and since you know him so well --
Brennan: A telephone! Get him a telephone!
Hannah: I was thinking something a little more personal.
Brennan: A vintage rotary phone. Booth loves them and hasn't been able to find the right one.
Hannah: Really?
Brennan: Yes! He's been looking. Booth says that's what a phone is supposed to be: indestructible and heavy enough to knock someone out. -Bones

Hodgins: (to Brennan) If you can perform surgery out of thin air, then I can pull a little thin air out of thin air. -Bones Season 2 episode 9

Those who make the rules always insure to put themselves above those rules ... Different strokes for different folks and different spanks for different ranks.

"Say goodbye to the universe, Maximals! The future has changed, yessssss. The Autobots lose! Evil triumphs! And you...YOU NO LONGER EXIST!"
-Beast Wars Megatron.
Most villains make a season ending cliffhanger by dealing the heroes a really bad defeat. Beast Wars Megatron makes a season ending cliffhanger by negating the heroes existence.

There is nothing new under the sun. It has all been done before

If we could fly out of that window hand in hand, hover over this great city, gently remove the roofs, and and peep in at the queer things which are going on, the strange coincidences, the plannings, the cross-purposes, the wonderful chains of events, working through generations, and leading to the most outre results, it would make all fiction with its conventionalities and foreseen conclusions most stale and unprofitable.

-sherlock holmes

"If you can't say something nice, you can just sit right here by me."

Oh Mr Moseby! (Does that count as a quote? Don’t care, already submitted)

I know now, without a doubt, Kingdom Hearts is light!

Adam West: I love this job more than I love taffy, and I'm a man who loves his taffy.

"There are so many fragile things, after all. People break so easily, and so do dreams and hearts." Neil Gaiman


If the forum rules weren't so strict I would post my favorite Bojack quote.

Roger the Alien: Behind the wheel of every taxi is a sad confused person who lost a bet they didn't understand.

“Imagine the strangest inhabited universe you can conceive of, places where gravity operates linearly and electromagnetism by the inverse cubed rule and topology has 13 basic dimensions instead of 17. How alien it must be. Then ponder the wildest universes those beings could articulate. Then realize that even these musings fail to capture the uncountable infinities that exist in the Omniverse.“
-Vector Prime

Unfortunately, tectonic plates do not come with a matching set of saucers, cups, sugar bowl, or creamer.

Bender: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The ‘x’ makes it sound cool.

“I met Red Alert twice. I found him paranoid, jittery, delusional and appalling at his job. I liked him. I liked him for his flaws. The rest of you, you're so dang pleased with yourselves. You've won a war and you think that elevates you.”
Cyclonus- Transformers MTMTE

Actually all animals speak a human language; they just have very limited vocabularies and really thick accents.

Rose Nylund: "It's like we say in St. Olaf -- Christmas without fruitcake is like St. Sigmund's Day without the headless boy."

“Those who claim living well is the best revenge have never explored the benefits of time travel.”
Shockwave- Optimus Prime #20

Frank Buffay Jr. "My sister's gonna have my baby!"

"Strive for wisdom! Or at least a decrease in idiocy." - Angela, the Herbalist, The Fork, The Witch and the Worm

Master Shake: You know, you're like the repository where my ideas go to die!

"This is why I'm such a good theoretical physicist. I solve problems that shouldn't even exist."
Gordon Freeman- Freeman’s Mind.

"For war is supposed to be waged for what we believe in, not to erase our opposition from existence" - Vaatividya, "The nameless king's betrayal"

D.J. Tanner: Oh, Mylanta!