That reminds me of the untimely demise of Harry Potter's alcoholic friend, Rum Whisky.
By the way, I am quite passion-ate for love and cooking stories.

okay, I donut want to get back to food puns. I want to leave those in the pasta.

Watt's the problem with them?

Nothing, they're just a pizza work to do well.

I find that ham to believe.

I would like to honey my skills on making s-puns.

soupersalad anyone?

Super salad!

Originally named Kale-el

Wanna taco 'bout it?

No because it's Nacho problem.

Fine-ally! Sum mold pans!

Icy what your all doing with these puns. There's snow way I can't lose with sun of these, weather or not you like them is a completely different matter.

Hail, everyone. I'm here to chill. Hopefully I'll be added to the punner froster, and not just given the cold shoulder.



So... Cold puns? That's cool. I think yours are rather ice. Oh, and weather ones? Those cold be arainged. I just hope we don't branch into warmth ones. Things might get heated then. Or the thread might freeze.

Woah, chill with the punflood or you'll be too burnt up to dish them out later.

Nay, That's not puny! Stop horsing around with food jokes, you wont findus making them nor complaining about Tescos burgers costing a pony, partially because they are part of a stable diet!

Stop being a neighsayer. I get your mane point, though.

I'm to tell you the story of Atila:
He was a great warlord from Mongolia who, despite his clear dominance and prowess in battle, still had to suffer the questioning of his might:

-"No one can attack Europe, and defy the power of her empires!"- Many of his colleagues said.
But Atila always answered their fear with determination. -"Yes, I Khan!"- He used to utter.

And he Khould. He terrorized many cities and populations, with little resistance on his path.
However, there was a setback that neither he, nor any othe man in history, was capable of forseeing or overcoming: His wives.

All the time, during his many military campaigns and conquests, they tried to catch his ttention with sweet phrases the kinds of : "Come on, Atty boy, stop burning that house and come eat dinner." "Please, my barbaric honey bunny, stop torturing those guys and come to sleep, it's getting late!" "Oh, Mighty Conqueror King, why don't you conquer your bad habit of throwing your plate armor and crown on the floor, hmmm?" "Deary, either you stop splashing your clothes with blood, or you help me wash them!" The list goes on.

His soldiers and friends, as well as his enemies, teased him about this, and so he came to be known forever more as "Atila the Hon."

Speaking of the Huns, what were their ballistas, onagers, catapults and such called?

Attilary.

(Okay, so the Huns weren't exactly big fans of that sort of stuff. But who said weapuns had to be accurate?)

Your history lessons are like a terminal disease, not a-cure-ate at all!

Okay, but isn't it more important that they're huninformative?

I didn't quite hunderstand that one, is it informative or huninformative?

I hunderstand why it might be hunclear. Huninformative.

I swear there are HUNdreds of these jokes going around, anymore and Im Gunther kill someone... I really KHANt take it anymore.

Kitsune over there is going to HUNt us down one by one!

Think it's time to branch out. It's hunlikely that we can stick to these exact puns, and I see Ellac of diverse puns. We'd probably be Bleda off not saddled with that restriction.

Not a pun but a poem for Karishad that I have popped on a poetry thread but, as his friends/challengers seem to be here...

I only look cool,
I always look rad
I gotta play the fool
'cause I'm Karishad!

Can't find no tux;
gotta get one fast
but I'm outta lux,
the last one is past

Gotta think quick,
take it to the pad.
Gonna be slick,
'cause I'm Karishad!

Got a tin of paint
and daub it on
I'm gonna look quaint.
It's brain over brawn!

My brain is fast
my humor is no fad,
my way is gonna last
'CAUSE I'M KARISHAD

I think that fox-fellow's name has to do with chairs and eating, because it sounds sat-anic tummy!

Are there any good Fish Puns?

Mullet over and let minnow would you? So I can be put in my plaice.

Oh carp, sea-critter jokes. I was being koi earlier but something fishy is going on here, I was just too preoccupied with dropping the bass to actually notice it.

Fished

I have a very temperamental clock. It's ALWAYS hungry. It frequently goes back four seconds.

(From a bulletin board.)

Shakespeare bought the supermegasized combo when he went to the cinema. Halfway through the film he finishes his ultraginormous drink and realises that he's desperate for the toilet. It's the middle of a key dramatic scene upon the outcome of which hinges the rest of the movie. So he really doesn't want to miss it but he's absolutely busting which leads to his dilemma. To pee or not to pee, that is the question.

Shakespeare is visiting the Alps during winter and he goes into a shop to rent some snow gear but he's not entirely sure which winter activity he wants to try first. So he asks himself: to ski or not to ski, that is the question.

Shakespeare is implicated in a crime and the cops are after him. He's not sure whether he should turn himself in or not, so he says to himself: to flee or not to flee, that is the question.

Shakespeare is really not sure how he went on his exams so when the results come he asks his friend to open them for him. He turns to his friend and says "Two C's or not two C's, that is the question."

Shakespeare sees a crime and while the police are taking his statement they ask if the perpetrator had any identifying marks. Shakespeare remembers a tattoo of a couple of insects but he's not entirely sure what it was. So he replies: "Two bees or not two bees, that is the question."

Shakespeare is directing the positioning of sets on his stage but he can't decide how he wants the forrest set out. Two trees or not two trees, that is the question.

Shakespeare is trying to decide whether to use liquid nitrogen or an antifungal cream to get rid of his warts. To freeze or not to freeze, that is the question.

Shakespeare is working for the police and he's just caught an illegal shipment of orange soda. Now he has to decide whether or not to let them continue to their destination and track them or just to take control of the shipment. To seize or not to seize, that is the question

I tried running in front of a car but I got tired, so then I started running behind it and got exhausted.

Shut your Meowth.

Who mew that was going to happen?

It was Unown to everyone.

I wonder what this entei-als?

These puns are Onix-eptable.