HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by legendario13 »

YAY! :D

(But I mean, usually we don't get to see whats going on right away, we need some emplacement first)
A moment of enlightenment...aaaaand it's gone
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

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2.
Costner House, Babylon Gardens

Max put down the phone. Males!, Dragon Sprit thought, somewhere inside and outside the black cat’s mind.
Then his eyes were back to the familiar acquamarine. He rubbed his temple. “Next time you do this, lady, please find a way to avoid the headache. It makes me crave for catnip.”
Someone knocked at his room’s door, making him jump. “Who are you talking to, mangy feline?!” Someone with a familiar gruff voice. “Come out, you still have to help set up the table! And then you must leave!”
Max went to the door and opened it, immediately showing his trademark grin. “Bino, my dearest sibling! I was only giving my fur a shine for my own date. A gentlecat is entitled to look pretty.” And to remark the concept, he gave his own arm a couple of licks.
Bino made a most disgusted face. “Don’t call me that. It’s a disgrace enough that I must share my space with you. Will you come down now?”
Max rolled his eyes on his smile. “Oh, and what’s the magic wo—“ He found himself immediately yanked by his collar and dragged effortlessly toward the stairs.
“The magic word is ‘I won’t rip off your tail if you won’t make this more difficult than it is already’! Bino said, walking down the stairs. “My last sanctuary is being violated and I must put a brave face on it.”
“You could’ve *erk* accepted the suggestion of having the dinner at Sasha’s place.”
“Meaning, Fido’s. No way that—I won’t enjoy this wonderful event here!” he said with a sudden transformation from grumpy- to smiley-face. “Dear, you look really smashing,” he added, letting go of Max –or rather, pushing him away against the stairs.
Sasha stroke her own fur and did a spin. For the occasion, she was wearing her necklace and bracelet studded with rubies, a gift of Martin Foster for her wedding. Her good collar was red with a white strip running along its middle. “Thank you, love! Ohh, can you imagine it? This will be our first dinner together as families! And to think that this was your idea: I knew you were the best dog!” She reached over and kissed his cheek. “I already planned to have the Fosters next, and then the other Fosters, and then Fido and Sabrina –they really should start living together, it’s awkward not to have a single family name. Oh, and let’s not forget the Lindbergs!”
Max simply loved the pure panic in the eyes of Bino when Sasha pronounced the last phrase. “Uh, dear,” Bino said, “King and Bailey haven’t any puppies.” The way he said it, it was clear he felt both relieved at that fact, and at the same time terrified of such possibility.
Sasha clasped her paws in delight. “Silly! Of course they aren’t parents yet! But when they will be, we will have our best dinner with them! King is such an adorable creature, and it’s so good that he found his special one, don’t you think so, too? Say yes or you’ll find your tail stuck into a power socket!”
Bino gulped. “O-of course, dizzydoo. And they will be the most…adorable little bundles of joy.”
---
Milton Family House for The Equal Chance Program, Babylon Gardens

A heavy bundle of paper landed onto the table top.
Keene regarded the pile of thickly scribbled paper and nodded. “This should do, Duke, thank you.”
Duke was still holding a pen in his paw. He appeared to be suffering. “I think I got a carpal.”
“Sorry, but you won’t get a scissorhands transplant. Go get some ice, while I start browsing this list of genial ideas for our careers. Jeeves!”
A pair of hands were suddenly ready for him to step on. The ferret did so. “Thank you, Jeeves. And why do you still put up with this, ol’ chap? This would be a good time for syndical claims.”
The cupped hands lifted Keene up to the bundle top. “If I am allowed, Suh, you are nervous and standing near a heap of flammable material. I consider this simple feat a service to the community, Suh.”
Keene thought over that for a moment. “Not really flattering, but I see your point. Good, now let’s see…” he grabbed the first paper. “Hmm, Martian sparkling water reservoir stocks. Junk shops chain. Pretending to be lawyers in LA. Conquering Canada. X-Factor. Hiring a new writer for this series. Running an Italian government –well, that’s the easier one. Jeeves, the marker!”
The butler handed him a yellow marker. “Suh, if I am allowed, wouldn’t you rather opt for a choice…more fitting your talents? As a family, I mean?”
“You’re not meaning enough,” the ferret said, while marking the list. “And your idea be better than making a ton o’ cash and eating the best pizza and spaghetti you’ll ever taste.”
The butler was thinking about those poor cooks, who would be forced to abjure their teachings to prepare ferret-shaped pizzas covered in jelly… “You and your siblings have the style and the experience of the jet set. And you know how to make a show of it. So why don’t you put that to good use?”
Keene blinked from over the paper. “Like…dispensing our style smart to the uneducated local masses?”
“That would be the proposition, Suh.”
Keene dropped the sheet he was holding and quickly took another from the pile –also causing a blizzard of paper. He was submerged in paper up to his waist, while reading the sheet with intent eyes. “Yes, there it is: Plan 1578, ‘Making the World a Better Place’. He turned his head and called out, “PEONES! ASSEMBLE!”
In a moment, the ferrets were all there in the room. More paper rustled everywhere.
Simon removed a sheet from his head. “I think we should reconsider that name.”
Rock removed his eyes from ‘Plan 1: Declare Milton Manor an Independent Country and Wage Nuclear War against it.’ “Yup: Turns out it’s copyrighted or something.”
“Not to mention that we hate being addressed like that!” An indignant Dolores said.
“You’re so right, precious,” Pit said, kissing her paw. “You’ll forever be our sweet peonitas. And nothing else.”
“Much better.”
“Everybody listen: We may be the new poor of this neighborhood, but we still have our inviolable dignity, our inextinguishable health, our unsurpassed intellect and most of all, our innate good taste! Thus I decided that we will open here in this house our first Milton House of Style and Fashion!”
Chorus of blinks.
Keene’s shoulders slumped. “We will make money again and have fun in the meantime.”
“YAY!”
---
The Gardens of Eden Farm

The telephone started ringing with such energy that it started hopping on the table. A hand grabbed the handset. “Gardens of Eden, Foster speaking—Oh, it’s you Keene. A new firm? Well, congratulations…” the man listened for a few minutes. “No, I don’t have any problem borrowing you the construction material. Come think of it, we’ll need to team up about that—“ he then had to take the handset away from his face, as the object just tried to bite him! The earpiece was still gnashing and hissing the most horrible words, when Martin – his wrists tied by the cord – managed to say, “Keene, no offense meant but animals can’t run a startup yet. Unless you want another steward—“ the handset went rigid, then started bawling and spouting like a wounded whale. The man patted it. “Now, now: Didn’t mean to scare you off, fella. Look, I’m sorry for acting like a jerk today. This new partnership will be only formal, a game of smoke and mirror. My lawyers at Roosevelt, R&R will make sure you are in complete control as executors of this idea officially belonging to me. We will secretly deposit every idea of yours so that, when Gabriella is Mayor and River Ridge will change some patent laws for good, you will be recognized as the owners of everything that came out of your institution. Of course, since you are a bunch of poor, ownerless ferrets, it will be my care to transfer every penny you’ll make on an account of your choice as charity. Good enough?”
The handset started purring against Martin’s ear.
“Good boy. I’ll send you my lawyers ASAP. Oh, and let me check a moment with Miles, since you are supposed to live—“ At that moment, someone knocked at the door. “Hold on, Keene. Yes, come in.”
The door opened. Miles walked in. “Mr. Foster, you may tell the ferrets that we are good with their plans.”
The human was dumbfounded. “Huh? I haven’t even told you—“
Miles shrugged. “Worked for them for some time, remember?”
Martin nodded. “You guys worry me.” He also discovered that the connection had been closed. He put down the handset.
“It’s accept their ideas or getting a ulcer worrying about them. Ah, and Mr. Foster, have you seen little Jon?”
The man chuckled. “Did your cubs lose track of him again? Never thought I’d see the day.”
“I wouldn’t mind that. In fact, it’s good that they meet a challenge for their tracking skills… But they also learnt to honor their debts. And they bet Poncho’s good poncho. And Poncho doesn’t like the idea that his poncho may be used as a pirate sail again.”
“How human of them –no offense meant. But if I see Jon, I’ll only tell them I saw him going to another universe.”
Miles gave him the ‘Big Meh!’. “Sir, you really need to work on your humor.”
---
Keene put the phone down. “And that’s one. Now, what does a startup like ours need?”
“Advertisement!” Rock said. “We need shiny lights! Wordy rappinghood to spread the word! Social networks! The Rolling Stones singing ‘Paint it Shiny’ in the front yard for the inauguration!”
Keene sighed, while picking the phone up again. “’Advertisement’ is just about fine. We’ll leave the rest to a trusted specialist. Please, guys, remember that we have a limited personal fund.” He punched in the numbers.
---
Terrace High

The phone rang a couple of times, before a brown-furred paw grabbed it.
“Good to see your love for this job in these times of crisis, Reb!” the pug said to the woman sitting at the desk, fuming behind a tabloid. Then the dog said. “De2 Advertisement Agency. Linus Carter speaking, feel yourself free to feel flattered.”
“For what you pay, this is what you get!” the woman said. Her nails sported an embarrassing shade of pink. Linus shushed her. He made a new note to shred his Dads’ shins for doing their friends a favor!
“Hello, Mr. Carter,” said the non-human, strangely serious voice despite it being essentially squeaky.
Linus recognized that voice and looked at the phone as if it was glowing of a white aura. “Hold it there a second, Mr. Milton! Changing line.” He quickly pressed a couple of buttons and put the handset down. To the not-so-secretary, he growled, “Ruin this call, and I’ll give you the tapeworms!”
“Oh, I won’t touch that thing if you touched it already: You know that.”
Linus nodded and ran away.

When he was in his own office, he said, “Sorry for the delay, Sir. Anything we can do for you?”
“Actually, I was looking specifically for you, Mr. Carter.”
Linus sat down on his chair. “Oh.” He felt his stomach fluttering. “You have my attention.”
Keene explained, without omitting any details. “…And so, we’re starting this project. But advertisement is not enough. You claim to have what it takes to get to the pet side of fad. And so I want you to do just that: The animals of Babylon Gardens must become the new frontier of market.” Linus was listening with increasing drool. “Why limiting the possibilities to the variations of the usual accessories, bland phones, one’s fur fluff-up? And for Pete’s sake when’s somedog going to use some perfume on their butts?!?”
Linus leaned against his chair. “I can understand your position, Sir, but there are certain…areas in the Gardens where I am sure you can find an adequate clientele—“
“I see no sense in selling ice to the Eskimos. I am interested in improving the charm of the vulgus. It will increase the neighborhood's reputation. And you are my dog for that. Your suggestions created at least four top dogs at the latest shows. Imagine this like a long, long lasting pet show. I’ll take only yes or no, now or never. Oh, and you will be paid only in proportion to your success rate. Epic fail, no gain.”
Linus was puzzled...No, make that intrigued. Terrace High was a lousy market for his ideas, competition was aggressive, there were already many shops dealing with pet beauty,
Makeup and accessories for the middle class wasn’t exactly something on the ‘think big’ field…But it was also true that the Gardens were a virgin market.
It was a crazy idea. The ferrets had proven themselves good at crazy ideas.
Linus bent forward. He giggled. “Mr. Milton? I think you have a partner…”
Last edited by valerio on Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:25 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by valerio »

Whoppeee, made it! The spree is back and you guys had the time to catch up some. Sorry for this wait, but now onward with the fun!
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by Legotron123 »

Hhmmmmmm... The little rodents in fashion. Interesting. I wonder if they'll keep that going after Thomas and jerk-lady-who's-name-I-cant-remember somehow lose control of the fortune. Because we all know that going to happen (unless its one of those 0.83111183% episodes)






Also I know ferrets aren't rodents I just want to tick argent off. That guy is WAY too obsessed with the little furry evil genius tubes.
Play The Hayseed Knight. This isn’t self promotion, I just really like the game.

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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by Argent »

Legotron123 wrote:Also I know ferrets aren't rodents I just want to tick argent off. That guy is WAY too obsessed with the little furry evil genius tubes.
Just you wait until I see someone calling civets weasels, or calling cape hunting dogs hyenas.
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by Legotron123 »

Argent wrote:
Legotron123 wrote:Also I know ferrets aren't rodents I just want to tick argent off. That guy is WAY too obsessed with the little furry evil genius tubes.
Just you wait until I see someone calling civets weasels, or calling cape hunting dogs hyenas.
What's so special about hyenas and weasels. :D
Play The Hayseed Knight. This isn’t self promotion, I just really like the game.

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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by GeckoZY »

valerio wrote:“It’s accept their ideas or getting a ulcer worrying about them. Ah, and Mr. Foster, have you seen little Jon?”
I wonder who little Jon is... I don't remember anyone named Jon in the fiction. *checks cast page* Must be a random character.

later...
valerio wrote:“How human of them –no offense meant. But if I see Jon, I’ll only tell them I saw him going to another universe.”
Wait a minute... it's that Jon!
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by Argent »

Legotron123 wrote:What's so special about hyenas and weasels. :D
Nothing, except that Civets are not related to weasels, and hyenas aren't canines at all. Words matter.
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by Legotron123 »

Argent wrote:
Legotron123 wrote:What's so special about hyenas and weasels. :D
Nothing, except that Civets are not related to weasels, and hyenas aren't canines at all. Words matter.
Tell me about it. On the Internet everything sounds 50% ruder. That causes me so much trouble.
Play The Hayseed Knight. This isn’t self promotion, I just really like the game.

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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by valerio »

3.
Foster Family House for The Equal Chance Program

“Welcome to our new, although temporary residence, Mr. Carter,” Lana said.
Linus took a first look at the wolves’ house. “I knew you were in financial troubles, guys, but this is a serious drop in your standards. I see why Keene was adamant on ‘pay upon results’. I'll have to break my back only to make this place look decent.”
Lana shrugged. “We are not exactly deprived of everything we need for this startup, Mr.—“
“Linus, please.”
“Linus. And I don’t think we can start in any conventional way. Too much time, too many costs.” The pug was led to the front garden. “This is where you want to build the front shop, right?”
“Right. The garage will be converted to that use, but we plan to use part of the wolves’ house.”
“It started with a garage. How Jobsy. The masses love it, though. So, how are you bunch going to divide the tasks?”
“Dolores and Carmen and I will take care of the cosmetics and gardening. I will manage the etiquette. Rock will run the media and photography. Pit will give the latest about fashion. Simon and Duke will give cuisine tips. Believe it or not, they are really good with a microwave: Must have come after repeatedly trying to use it to produce nitroglycerine beer. Don’t ask. Keene, of course, will take care of organizing the turns, bookkeeping, etc.”
Linus looked impressed. “You know, Lana, for being this an improvised plan it’s surely well-conceived. I think I can properly advertise you, but first we need to show you’re good at this. No offense meant, but you are known for being…a tad eccentric.”
It was then that Keene came out the house, paws clasped behind his back, followed by Jeeves. “We also took private lessons, Mr. Carter. Fun’n’Games are one thing, but we also had hobbies to attend to, and we wasted no time in cultivating them. You’ll be surprised. Jeeves.”
The butler handed the puzzled pug a tablet. Linus took it. It was open on…a list of the private course the ferrets had attended. The dog’s eyes went wide: Every single ‘tutor’ of these animals was a 1st class TV star!! “I think I have an idea for our site’s homepage,” he croaked. “Do you think they’ll accept that you use their images for our promotion?”
Keene nodded. “Oh, they signed a waiver that they’ll accept *anything* we do with their images, provided we don’t call them anymore.”
Linus hesitated a moment before asking, “And Miss…Hilton, here…Do you still have the pet jewelry she left you from that course?”
It was Lana who answered, “Sure! Do you want to have a look at it?”
“Oh, more than that: In fact, I believe I know how to spread the word about this business. Now, all we need is our own brand frontpets.”
“What do you mean?”
Linus clicked his tongue. “Guys, honest! I am good but I can’t waste my precious time knocking at every door in search of potential prey—I mean customers. The best way to advertise our enterprise is to have our own brand frontpets: Someone who will show how good we are at improving looks—“ he found himself surrounded by 8 grinning mustelids. Suddenly he realized how a mouse could feel in a similar situation! “Ah, guys, it won’t be you.”
“Aww.”
“Sorry, but it’s a matter of conflicts: You can’t be the frontpets because of course you’re enthusiast of your own products. And, forgive me for mentioning, right now yours is not a position of success; it would look is if you were begging to come to your courses. We need common pets, but popular ones: Furs other pets will be wanting to wear. Any recommendations?”
Rock thought about that. “The wolves are not exactly pets, but they are popular. ‘Get to the Wild Side’ could be a nifty slogan.” He then started counting on his fingers. “I’ve been submerged in e-mails and pictures from that Doberman, Kevin. My antispam filter has burned out because of that, but admittedly the guy’s got the looks. Sasha can be a killer – and I mean it literally – when it comes to ads, but the males still go crazy for her. Fido is another sure bet. The Foster pets would do, but they belong to the upper class. I’m pretty sure that the Good Old Dogs Cub would organize a contest—Yes, Jeeves?”
“If I am allowed, Suh, I think I have an acceptable candidate couple for the position. They are cute, and they are still well thought of around.”
Linus regarded the human with interest. “And pray tell, who would be these wonder pets?”
---
Sandwich House

The purple cat checked the watch of her phone, then threw a worried glance through a hole in the fence.
Yes, that was a flash from far away in the street.
The cat sighed. “Hurry up, hon! It’s almost time!”
“Coming!” Peanut said, walking through the kitchen door.
The cinnamon Canadian Pointer mix walked out holding two bags of trash. “There it is!” he put the bags onto a big white X drawn with a chalk in the middle of a small crater.
“Good, now duck!” Both had just the time to hide behind the tree –a tree who had developed a weird black strip…
A moment later, a land-to-land rocket hit with surgical precision the bundle of trash! The unrecyclable stuff vanished in a blaze of fire.
Grape stood up. “Luckily, Jasper hasn’t still run out of those missiles he mail-ordered. Now, I hope those scoundrels are ready for their bath.”
Peanut stuck his tongue out at his wife. “Well, those who have taken that from you at least. Shaun loves bathing.”
“Yeah, and he also loves trash, and toilet water. And did you know that he’s challenging Parnok in drinking contests?”
Peanut blushed. “W-well, not my fault if Parnok is stubborn like you and would accept any challenge! Anyway they have been staying in their room all day.”
“Oh. Their ‘quiet day’, right.” Grape’s eyes went to the windows of the new room that had been made out of the attic. At first she hadn’t believed that that Tsuki dog and her Mom could do such a great job without the bare minimum of furniture, and yet now the old room was the house’s best one, and it had also deserved a picture for a magazine! But, best of all was imagining the face of Selene reading that magazing and getting an ulcer… “I wonder what could those rascals do during this day.” The kittens, bless them, were hyperactive like their biological parents. And Peanut alone had been a troublesome puppy, to say the least. The only time Peanut had proposed his litter to play ‘glitterfight’ in honor of the old times, when he was doing his best to cheer up a certain newly adopted kitten, the whole house had shined for a week! Since then, the ban on glitter had been total.
But now there was a new one, the ‘quiet day’. The kittens would retire in their room and chatter among themselves in a thin voice. If they were playing a play pretend, she couldn’t tell, and for sure they never confided to anyone the objects of these weekly sessions.
Not that Grape minded –in fact, she was all too happy to have a day all for herself and her husband.
She just couldn’t help being a bit curiou—
“Boo!” It was just whispered in her ear, but it had the effect of a whiplash! Grape jumped up the tree, her back all standing up and her heart trying to evade her chest.
“Peanut! You mangy—“
The dog was almost bent in two, his eyes tearing up. “Oh, Jellybelly! Wish I had my camera! Just like old times! Hehe*snrkt*!”
The lavender cat slid down the tree. She tried to fix her back fur. “Yeah, smartsnout, and do you remember what followed after those pranks of yours?!” Her claws unsheathed slowly.
“Not if you don’t catch me first!” Peanut said, sticking out his tongue at her and running.
Grape ran after him. “Oh, you wish, puppy!”
---
“That’s good, good, just one more step…Hey, we got a real champion, here!” It was easy to be proud of your own child, but in the case of Jill Sandwich, it was well justified: Little Gordon was a smart, curious baby and the kittens had surely worked hard to stimulate his curiosity. There wasn’t day in which they didn’t spend time with him, often even sleeping by his bed, and their parents with them. The new generations didn’t care for the old boundaries, and Jill and Earl Sandwich wouldn’t be the ones to remind them.
Gordon had returned that attention in their plays, the only other human who could stretch Parnok’s tail and get away without getting mauled. And Gordon was trying hard to learn to walk. At the rate he was progressing, he would soon start giving his parents a cause for worrying and be very proud at the same time.
For now, Jill was content to guide him up and down the stairs that led to the attic –of course, the first place Gordon wanted to go.
As soon as Gordon had reached the floor, he emitted a happy gurgling laugh, while extending his tiny arm to the door. “Dai,” he said. “Nyok.” The first time he had said ‘Dai’, Earl had frowned in puzzlement, but then he had said that he must have misheard. His son had pronounced his first word and it was ‘Dad’. He was proud.
He hadn’t noticed Peanut and Grape bumping fist, a big ‘squee’ grin plastered on their faces. And Jill was sure they wouldn’t break their Dad’s heart.
“Nyok,” Gordon repeated, crawling toward the door. Jill didn’t like the idea of disturbing the kittens in their ‘quiet day’, but she didn’t even want to see her son crying out his disappointment –and Gordon was as stubborn as his mother, no doubt about that. Earl was still hoping the kid would show some manual talent soon.
Jill was about to knock at the door, when…she heard something.
“Do you know what’s happening in that poultrytic thing in your world?” Nutella was saying. “Do you have a Ms. Lundberg trying to make animals and humans equal, too?”
Who are they talking to? But before Jill could elaborate, she heard something that made her skin crawl.
A voice she didn’t know! “Yes, I mean no. There’s this Senator Hooke. Peter Hooke, he’s just started and he’s doing a great job it seems. He’s going everywhere, especially on teevee, to talk people into this equality thing. Daddy is very excited about him.”
Jill thought it was the voice of a puppy…but she couldn’t be sure. That voice was….fading in and out, as if coming from a badly tuned station.
“You know what?” Dayshaun said. “When our politics get elected, we trade their autographs!”
“Neat!”
The woman’s hand moved as if on its own will and rapped at the door. “Guys, you okay?” Then, against the rules she had set herself, she opened the door.
Gordon emitted his own squeaking whoop of joy and crawled in.
Other than that, nothing. The kittens were sitting in a circle at the center of the room, and not a thing was out of place.
“Yes, grandma, everything’s okay,” Dayshaun said. The others nodded, showing her a grinning smile.
“We were playing pretend,” Nutella offered.
“First contact with an alien,” Louise went on. “Tarot made the funny voice. Spooky, eh?”
“Nyok!” Gordon said, reaching the white-furred kitten, or rather his long purple tail. He immediately started pulling it gleefully.
Jill rubbed her temple. A reasonable explanation was a reasonable explanation. Then why did she still feel the creeps?
At that moment, Grape’s voice from the window said, “Hah! Gotcha, mutt!”

Effectively, the cat had the dog well pinned down to the ground. And despite Peanut being buffer, she still was the alpha when it came to brawling. “Give up and I may let you live—ack!” that came when he bent forward and licked her nose! A moment later, his paws were all over her flanks, tickling with a passion. “No! No! Cheater! You won’t—“ she broke off into a giggle, her claws contracting automatically and her tail lashing.
Alas, that was a victory to remain short-lived, as suddenly her whole body turned into a clawing, hissing frenzied machine!
When it was over, Peanut looked like a badly used scratchpost. Grape sighed. “Why did you do that? You know how a cat reacts to tickles!”
“All worth it, wee!” Peanut stood up on all 4s and shook himself. Then he pecked her lips. “Plus, you always look cute when you’re angry.”
Grape shook her head and started to lick her arm to smooth down her fur. “I’ll remember to put it on your tombstone: ‘Here lies Peanut Butter Sandwich – Killed by Cuteness.’ Now come on, we must take care of the kittens’ bath, it’s getting awfully late and I must still choose something appropriate to wear.”
“I think I have an idea, if you don’t mind,” said a voice behind them, making them jump. Both pets turned…and saw a brown ferret leaning over the fence. And a butler standing at the ferret’s side. “Would you like to be on everyone’s mouth, predator colleague?”
---
(Thomas and Celia) Milton Manor

“How can I be of disservice?” Volant asked from the chair. “Just so you know, I was trying to relax with my favorite TV series and you apes spoiled my mood. So this better be good.”
Thomas so much wanted to be elsewhere, but Celia had been quite clear on that: At least once, the man of the house was supposed to be the man of the house, not a shivering blancmange.
The human cleared his throat. “We think you are spending too much time alone, Volant. As your owners—“
Volant snickered. “Do you mean, ‘as the custodian of your precious safety box? Don’t worry, I promised to be a good pup and stay within the manor’s borders, as long as you don’t play funny games. I still wish to tie you to a tree like you did with me.” His visible blue eye darkened with hatred. Even his red eye seemed to shine from under his thick tuft.
Thomas’s skin just assumed Snow White’s pallor. To his credit, he found the force to say, “As your owners, we believe you need to see…someone. Other pets. Make friends.”
Volant grinned. “You taught me the futility of such concept. Unless you want me to kill someone, that would be fun.”
I have a long list, you whelp, Celia thought, but those words didn’t reach her perfect friendly smile. “Dear, we understand you can be…diffident because of your old traumas and false memories. We told you, you were taken by a domestic and abandoned. One of the mistakes poor uncle Henry did in choosing his collaborators. Like with the Whitemans.”
Volant didn’t growl, he just bared his teeth. For a moment, he looked as if he could jump for their throats. Then he relaxed again. He knew that they knew that he knew, this pathetic play was to the benefit of the security system. “So? I won’t get out of here and look out for friends. I am content with my Devil Dog stuff. What will you do? Take me and throw me out? Good luck with that.”
Thomas cleared his throat. “Actually, we contacted a specialist.”
Volant blinked. “A what?” Then he waved his paw. “Please! As if I never saw a shrink so far!”
“It’s not a shrink. It’s more of a…” He produced a business card and read it. “Second Chance to Joy Specialist.”
By now, Volant was too curious to see what was the joke…when something tapped on his shoulder. He turned his eyes only. A cane?
“Ta-DAA!” said the grey-furred creature…emerging from the chair’s opposite side! Volant started. He turned again. And met the smiling, although slightly crazy, expression of a cat. One not exactly young, but still without white on his muzzle. And a patch over his left eye. “Ah, you fell for my trap, my friend!”
The Rhodesian Ridgeback was stammering, in search for words. “Who-who-who—“
The cat bowed deeply. “Allow me: Steve’s my name, fun’s my game. And my business. So, you said you’re a DD fan? Do you have any action figure? I know how to play with them in ways you haven’t even imagined. Come on, now!” He grabbed Volant’s wrist and easily pulled the big dog along. “Fun thrives on time, and we’ve still got enough ahead of us, mate!”
The Miltons just sat there, looking at the dog disappearing from sight. They waved him goodbye.
“You know he’s gonna kill that poor cat,” Thomas said.
“Of course. And then Volant will be put under custody, where he’ll spend the rest of his canine life, innocuous. And if it doesn’t work now, we’ll try with another pet. And we shall have our happy ending. Celebration drink?”
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by Legotron123 »

hey jasper, which magizine did you get the order form for the missles from. id like to send an order of my own. thomas and celia. my my my. you really under estimate that dog of yours. i think he'll find a way to deal with that cat WITHOUT killing him.
Play The Hayseed Knight. This isn’t self promotion, I just really like the game.

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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by Honorable Intentions »

Hooray for updates! And yay for a reference in each, I'm flattered. :lol:

It's going to be interesting to see Grape and Peanut working for the Milton's fashion endeavor. And poor Volant, I'll just have to wait and see how long he'll go before he snaps.
At the end of the day I often think about what I have done for the world. What I have changed, perhaps made better or worse. I then sit at a computer for hours and look at pictures of cats.

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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by RandomGeekNamedBrent »

Legotron123 wrote:hey jasper, which magizine did you get the order form for the missles from.
I believe it's from "Ack-me"
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by legendario13 »

Volant is a bag full of tricks and with Pete in the game is just a double trouble.

Who should I be worried for the most?

Volant or the Cat?
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by valerio »

4.
Milton Manor

“Ugh, microwave food again,” Thomas said, examining the fridge’s content. “Celia, when are we going to have at least a kitchen staff?” He looked through the panoramic window. It still looked perfect, neatly trimmed…But it would be a question of a week, and the first signs of degrading would start to show. Those ferrets had put up a lot of ivy, the garden would be strangled in it. Not to mention the pool: Thomas could break his back just to keep it properly clean!
Celia put some lasagna into the microwave. “Tomorrow we’re going to start the first interviews. Should be a piece of cake, as long as we remember to put that petforsaken dog under lock and key. I am pretty sure he’ll try to scare them.”
“Speaking of which,” Thomas said, looking up at the ceiling, then at the monitor near the door, “I’ll better check up on him. With some luck, he’ll have killed that cat and we—“ ‘and we will put him under permanent veterinarian custody, so to get rid of him and keep our legacy money,’ he was going to say. An easy plan, made it easier by that dog’s sociopathic tendencies. Only Celia could come up with these solutions, Thomas was better at embezzling, frauds, anything concerning bloodless bureaucracy.
And his mind sort of short-circuited, when he saw the monitor feed.
“So? What’s new?” He barely heard his sister saying.
“B-b-b-b…” The poor human stuttered. He was as pale as a corpse.
Celia walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder to shake him out of that weird trance.
Thomas ran away, screaming like a little girl. He crashed into the window-door and disappeared in the garden, his scream fading only with the distance.
Celia sighed. “I still wonder why women are considered the ‘weak sex’.” She took the cordless and punched in a number. A moment later she said, “Animal control? Celia Milton. We have a problem.”
For once, an animal had done the right thing for her.
---
Costner House

“You look happy,” Max said, frowning at his housemate who was walking down the stairs.
Bino shrugged, his smile didn’t leave his muzzle. “So? I am going to have a nice family dinner, I am spazzy, and there’s going to be my favorite foods. With some luck, that Peanut mutt could get an anaphylactic shock… Why the long face?”
The black cat regarded Bino with renewed suspicion. “Until a few hours ago, you looked as if you’d rather cut your own arm than having this…social event. What did you come up with?”
Bino’s smile faltered a bit. “Nothing! And why are you concerned? You had your own date to attend to, if I remember well.”
Max’s eyes narrowed. “When it involves Grape, I am concerned, mutt. Something happens to her, you’ll regret it for years to come. You know I don’t joke when it comes to her.”
Bino put his paw on his chest, solemnly declaring, “Cross my generous heart, no harm shall come to any of my most estimated guests—Ah! These must be them,” he said as they knocked at the door. Max followed him, just to make sure…And when Bino opened the door, he heard the sound of Max’s jaw hitting the floor.
And Bino himself had to admit he was…impressed. “H’lo,” he said, eventually.
“Bagù” was all Max could say.
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“My head’s still over here,” Grape said to the black cat, who was intent staring at her neck, ‘covered’ by a golden chocker generously open on the front side. She also wore a white gold band on her right arm. Just a touch of makeup around her eyes completed that exotic and mysterious look.
Obviously, Bino couldn’t care less about a cat’s appearances, although he could imagine his older brother drooling without dignity. But it was Peanut’s look that impressed him: The Canadian Pointer mix hound had replaced his collar with an elegant leather sled dog harness, which put in evidence his chest build. His fur had been ‘ruffled’ up enough to make him look as if he could be barely contained in that harness. At that moment, Bino was happy that Peanut was a cat-lover. In fact, just then Sasha said, “My my my, I can’t believe it. In fact, there are a lot of thing I still can’t believe it, but it’s a long list and I don’t want to bore you. Welcome.” She pecked first Peanut’s and then Grape’s cheek. Bino would ask her to wash her mouth twice before going to bed. “Where are the kittens?” she asked, looking around.
“They sneaked upstairs,” Grape said. “They’re good.”
“Oh, they’ll just have a lovely time with Bosco. He said he had a secret surprise for them… Oh, I know I wasn’t supposed to say that, but he was so excited! It surely can’t be a bad thing, right Biney?”
In a surreal moment, Bino saw Sasha as the only figure illuminated by an angelic light, while the others had turned into living shadows with flaming red eyes! He managed to put up a smile, though. “Uh, of course my love. Just all the fun in the world for those adorable creatures.” He went and closed the door. Perhaps it wasn’t too late to make a run for it. They said Cuba was great in this season…
Sasha examined Grape again. “Who did this great job on you?”
“The ferrets,” Grape said. “With the consultancy of a weird pug. They are starting this…fashion shop or something and asked us to be the their frontpets or something, to advertise them.”
“Then I can’t wait to visit them, first thing tomorrow!” The female shepherd said. Then she pouted. “Aw, I hope Enzo will not be mad at me for going to a competitor.”
Bino hugged her. “My love, if the ferrets can do such a good job with you too, although you are perfect as it is, then it will be worth a try. And should Enzo protest, I’ll bite his butt-erk!” This time he had to survive the short but potent hug his wife gave him.
“Oh, Biney! You’re the most thoughtful of all dogs!”
Grape smiled at the scene. It was still weird to her that such different personalities could be bonded so deeply…
Grape turned toward Max. “I see you appreciate the merchandise, yarns,” she almost purred, running her paw along the chocker in a quite seductive fashion.
Both Max and Peanut whimpered. The cat slowly shook his head –and to think he had had his chance and let it slip, instead of fighting for her love… “You are so beautiful,” he sighed –no, actually, he hadn’t.
The sound had come from the window.
“Friends of yours?” Peanut asked to Max.
It was like a scene from a zombie movie! A pile of tomboys was pressing against the windows, their claws out as if wanting to cut the glass. One grey tabby had already shaven 'BE MY GRAPE' on his chest.
Max ran to the window on the left. “Don’t stand there like a dummy and help me with these!” He lowered the shutters of a window. Peanut did the same with the other. Immediately, hisses of rage and scraping sounds came from the windows.
Max gulped. “Bino, my pal, I’m pretty sure you should call those ferrets now, or you’ll be waiting until your snout gets grey.”
They knocked at the door. “I’ll get it!” Peanut said, victim of his own reflexes.
“Peanut, no!” Grape said, but it was too late. The dog opened the door…and found himself facing a wall of handmade signs, each one reading various degrees of doggie devotion to him and not-so-subtle requests to have his puppies! “Uh, gals, I’m really flattered but—“
“Did you hear that, girls?” Colleen said, from over her sign. “Let’s—“ she was interrupted by the door slamming shut hard against her muzzle.
Grape locked the door as if it belonged to a bank vault. “Oh, no, you won’t!” she growled as sad howls started to fill the air, together with the bangs of fists against the wood.
“I think I will just stay here, if you don’t mind,” Max gulped.
“If you want to make yourself useful, be a dear and take care of the kittens,” Grape suggested. “You do a good job, and it’ll be a date for an ice cream.”
Max nodded, the proud light of an ancient knight shining in his eyes. By now, she could’ve asked him to douse himself with gas and jump into the mouth of a dragon! “You’ll be proud of me!” and up the stairs he ran.
The lavender cat nodded, thoughtfully. “I think I will ask him out to the next Yarn Ball. If not else, to see him fight everyone who’ll ask me to dance.”
“Graaape!” Peanut exclaimed.
She stuck out her tongue at the dog. “Aw, don’t be such a killjoy. You too have become very popular, try and enjoy it.”
---
‘Enjoyment’ was the right word to describe Max’s state as he walked to the attic, the deputed playground for Bosco –daddy or not, Bino was still maniacally jealous of his own room, and had actually worked hard to rearrange the old upstairs room.
The black tomcat was humming a song. He didn’t mind at all taking care of the kittens –in fact, it made him feel like a part of the family! With some luck, he could win at least Parnok’s affection. That little rascal was really quick to learn new tricks, and it looked like he was giving Dayshaun a good taste of sibling rivalry…
He put his paw over the handle and opened the door. “Uncle Maxie’s here, litt—“ his words died in his throat at the sight.
There were the kittens, sitting in a semicircle, intently looking at a zombie! A veritable, real-unlife walking dead! And it didn’t matter that it was just a mouse rather than a human from that series. It *still* looked as if he had gone after being chewed and digested!
The thing was moaning and walking toward its ‘public’, head hanging to one side, one arm missing, the other protruded toward them. And what were the little ones doing? Looking at it with a critic expression and the female twins shaking their heads.
“Please!” Parnok said. “I’ve seen roadkill that seemed worse than you!”
“It’s ‘looked’,” Dayshaun offered. “And that smelled worse than you. Well, it smelled. You don’t.”
The zombie thing sighed. “TV generation: Everyone’s a critic now, sheesh.” In a moment, it regained all the features of a regular mouse. “Well, at least Bino can’t blame me for trying.”
“Is it over?” said the pup, emerging from behind Nutella and Louise. He was still trembling. The females giggled.
Mod the ghost mouse nodded. “Yes, braveheart, it is. And don’t worry, your daddy won’t know a thing.”
Immediately, Bosco stood up as much proudly as he could. “I wasn’t being scared! I-I was just watching their backs in case you wanted to try some trick! You are not trying anything, right?
Parnok pointed at the figure standing by the door…or, rather, laying down across the threshold. Apparently victim of a heartstroke, a flower held in his paws over his chest.. “I’d say your performance was appreciated by someone.”
Bosco went and poked Max’s still figure. “I didn’t think he could scare so easily,” he giggled, with a smirk that showed how much Bino attitude he had taken.
The kittens exchanged a look. “And what could we do with him now?” Parnok suggested. “I’m getting bored.”
Tarot’s eyes went to a big, red yarn ball laying on an old couch. She smiled like a sphinx. “I think we can work something out. Drag him inside.”
---
The Lucky Charm Grove blue-and-gold van stopped by the main entrance of Milton Manor.
Celia stood perplexed, since she had called Animal Control…Then remembered that the City Council had licensed the job to Foster’s shelter in order to save on budget money.
The woman smiled to herself –all the better, at least no one could accuse her of cruelly disposing of her pet.
The smile didn’t reach her mouth, though, as she walked toward the operators. In fact, she put up her best show as she said, “Thank heavens you’re here! My dog has gone crazy, he…attacked that cat who had come to visit, and what he did was—“ She moaned, as if she couldn’t describe the horror. And, to be honest, what she had seen was gruesome enough, but she had seen worse during her short time at the old shelter and hadn’t even flinched. Unlike Thomas, of course, the poor dolt.
The two uniformed men looked ready for bears. Celia led the way. “He’s still in. I locked the door! Please, hurry! Oooh, that poor cat, I could’ve never imagined—“ she shuddered. She made a note to herself to try out a movie career, should worst come to worst.
“These vests are teeth-proof and these tranq guns will do the rest, ma’am,” one of them said. “You just stand aside, okay?”
They walked up the stairs and from there to the door of Volant’s room. The shelter men signaled Celia to step back. She depressed a button of the remote and unlocked the door. She was tempted to lock them in with that beast and see what would happen…but better not overdo it.
They opened the door.
“My God,” said one of them, awed. “It’s full of red.”
Red everywhere. Red blotches. Red spurts. The furniture upturned, the mattress gutted.
And there, in the corner, Volant, all dressed up in a ragtag red cape –which used to be a bedcover, towering over a grey tabby with a patch over his eye. A very alive cat, cowering like a kitten and mewing, “Oh, please Devil Dog, no! I was forced to work for those people! I am good at heart, you must believe me!”
The men exchanged a glance –didn’t that crone say that the cat was dead and the dog was feasting on him?
The Rhodesian Ridgeback was saying, in an ominous growl, “If you’re innocent as you claim then stand and submit to my judgment! Should you fail—Oh, hi guys,” he said, turning, as he realized there was a public. He even wagged as he waved his paw. “Cool, did you bring them to play with me, too?” He asked Celia. The poor woman looked as if she was going to have a brainstroke.
One of the men removed his glove and tentatively used his finger to collect some of the ‘blood blotch’. Then tasted it. “Strawberry?”
“Watch it!” Volant warned them. “It’s for the special effects.”
“You…you…you…” Celia was repeating like a scratched record.
Steve stood up. “We are simulating issue #4 of Devil Dog: The Conversion of Malachite. We have a copy, do you want to compare it to this?” his arm encompassed the devastated room. He looked at the humans with a critic expression. “Though you should wear the uniforms of city Animal Control. And those should be tasers, not tranq guns. But I guess you weren’t warned.”
The humans sighed. “Sorry, sir: We were called on a...misunderstanding, Enjoy your play, all right?” They gave Celia one last warning glance, before leaving.
The woman knew that not only had her plan been busted, but that from now on Foster would keep an extra eye on her once they started to talk about her call.
She looked at the two pets as if she wanted to burn them with her eyes. She just couldn’t find words strong enough to express her feelings.
Volant led Steve out of the room. Passing by the woman, he said, “Oh, and Mom: Get this cleaned up pronto, and buy more jam: I have a lot of play to do with my new pal. And I’ll be inviting another friend too. And Steve, let me show you the chapel the ferrets built. It’ll be perfect for the next scene!” When they left, they heard her slamming repeatedly her head against the wall. “Sore loser.”
<The illusion idea on the monitor was a good one, my avatar,> a familiar voice in his mind said.
Volant smiled. <Thank you, Master. I have a lot of them, to better torture my ‘owners’ with, until your plan comes to fruition.>
<I count on that. Now go and enjoy your time as a pet, as long as it lasts.>
Last edited by valerio on Mon May 13, 2013 3:56 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by Legotron123 »

Nice trick volant. The "as long as it lasts" line pretty much confirms that by the end of this episode the money will be back in the ferrets hands and Pete will somehow be stronger.
Play The Hayseed Knight. This isn’t self promotion, I just really like the game.

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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by valerio »

...by the end of this episode? 8-)
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by Obbl »

Wow! Just getting around to reading this.
This is just too great, Valerio. :D I'm glad Volant's enjoying torturing those two :twisted: Sounds like this oughta be fun
I love the kittens in this one too, and Bosco, and Peanut and Grape, and... Who am I kidding? I loved the whole thing :lol:
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by valerio »

5.
Costner House

“Dinner’s ready!” Sasha said. She was wearing an apron and oven mittens with flower motifs. “I made Biney’s favorite: pie with minced meat, potato, tomato and cheese.”
“Can I rent her?” Grape asked to her host. “Peanut has still a long way to go before he can go beyond a good toast.”
“Aw, it’s really not that hard, once you get the knack of it.” Sasha wagged. “I learnt fast after I had to cook for Daddy.” She then grimaced, sticking out her tongue, her arms crossed. “He’d always buy Chinese. It would make my fur reek, so I started following some of that TV cooking shows. Since then, I always made his meals. You’ll love this!”
Grape thought that her Mom would have cut her arm off rather than make her pets cook for their parents. Had she learnt about this before Mr. Hartford had left, the human would’ve acquired a nice scar across his face…
“You’re bristling up,” Peanut whispered to her. A moment later, his paw started caressing her back to smooth her fur.
Grape smiled, thankful. “I’ll go get the kittens—“
“Oh, please!” Sasha interrupted her. “That’s the duty of the dog of the house, right Biney? You two come with me!” She pushed her guests away before they could protest.
Bino went up the stairs. He just hoped they wouldn’t ask him to hold their tiny, creepy paws. Especially Dayshaun! A miniPeanut cat, it must be some biological nightmare.
“But I’ll endure,” he muttered to himself. This was his best occasion to prove to the Club that he was still the rightful representative, the frontdog. Too many mutts had actually sympathized with Peanut… “Even though it was him who sent me to the hospital.” Memo: Don’t push him about his family, anyway. Catlover or not, he had grown up into a decent fighter…
Bino reached the attic door. “Okay, guys, playtime’s over, dinner—“ at that moment, had opened the door completely.
He saw what had happened to the playroom. He just couldn’t process it.
Not in one glance. He saw the tendrils of…yarn, yarn everywhere, attached to the walls and the furniture like a…web.
A web, at the center of which would lay a cocoon of yarn.
And Maxwell was wrapped inside the cocoon, only his black-furred head sticking out. He looked definitely scared, his voice reduced to a barely audible whimper. “…Help me.”
And then there was Bosco. Bino’s son was wearing Jeff’s old Fedora hat, and the hound felt a wave of terror seeing the pup holding out a mike…connected to his vintage tape recorder. While Tarot, standing at his side, was feigning to snap pictures with a Kodak Brownie Twin 20 camera, the pup was saying, with all the professionalism of a reporter, “And now we examine the behavior of the feared Giant Spider brood in the wild forest of Dominaria. The newborn brood is born, as we can see, with the hunting techniques that allows to feed…”
And yet, at the moment Bino didn’t even really care about that precious items: He was focused on the last piece of that macabre tableau –four kittens crawling like spiders along the yarn web toward their cocooned prey! Max was moving his head in the vain attempt to escape the fanged, hungry grins getting closer…closer…
Bino turned his head toward the door and screamed at the top of his lungs, “GRAAAAAAPE!”
“Ten seconds!” Max said to his ‘captors’. “I win.”
“Aww, not fair!” Louise said. “We worked really hard to make it last longer!”
“Daddy, you made me lose the bet!” Bosco lamented.
A swipe of his own claws, and Max was free. “You should’ve believed me when I told you, kids. Now, pay up. And don’t do those faces with me: I am teaching you a precious lesson.”
Bino turned back. His eyes started to glare as he asked his housemate, “Just how did you get your paws on my stuff? I had changed the locket!”
“Oh, that!” Nutella said, sticking out her tongue in mirth. “I’ve seen better,” she added, tossing said locket to Bino, who looked ready to explode.
“Careful, Biney,” Max said with his trademark grin. “You don’t want to hurt them. They were just playing, and for once putting to use some pieces of your museum.”
Bino collected tape recorder and camera. “Next—next time,” he said as if those words tasted of filth “just ask, is that much to aAAAA!” He had turned…to find himself facing a frowning Grape.
“You rang?” she asked, just as if she was asking ‘this better be good’.
The dog shook his head. “Teach them some manners when it comes to other pets’ stuff, will you?!” And he stomped away, followed by Bosco.

Once they were out and down the stairs, Mod appeared over Bino’s shoulder. “I thought I had given you clear instructions, you traitor.”
“I did as you asked, pup—“
“How many times I told you not to use that word?” They reached his room. He had feared to find a catastrophic mess. Instead, everything was still where it was supposed to be. Bino started to put back in place the two items.
“Force of habit. After all, last time we saw, you were a pup. And anyway, scary tactics don’t work with these kids: In fact, it is weird, you know? I feel they—“
“ENOUGH!”
“Urk!” In that moment, his conscience was brought back to the astral plane, and with enough force to give a ghost the equivalent of a fit!
“You have said enough and too much,” said the immense serpentine dragon standing before him.
Mod gulped. Much as he still was the confident type, finding himself in front of one of the Superior Entities was still reason for awe. “Ah, ma’am, I assure you—“
“Silence!” Spirit Dragon said, making him flinch. “Obviously, you have noticed the peculiar nature of the kittens, the actual litter of a dog and a cat. A miracle I am responsible for. And,” she added to the amazed mouse, her voice a low, ominous tone that made stars tremble, “not a word of it will you speak to anyone. I may not allowed to interfere with a mortal’s free will, according to Celestial Lawbook’s Volume 1, The Mortals and Us, Rule 1, Chapter 1-5 Subsection 4a. But you are not a mortal, Mod. I will call exception 777 and make sure you are banished from this plane ad perpetuum. Did I make myself clear?!”
Mod raised his paws defensively. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, big mama! No need to bring in the lawyers, I got you the first time. It would be hard not to, when your interlocutor is…well, you. I’ll be a good mousie, ok? I am here to protect Bino and his family, that’s all.”
“Just make sure your task shall not trespass into this territory. You don’t know Peanut and Grape, you don’t know why they were worth this miracle. And Bino would cause them troubles to no ends should he learn the truth.”
Mod blinked a couple of times. “Uhh, I’m sorry but… Would he believe it? I was just gonna say him that I felt a strong connection between them kittens and the spirit world, but that’s all. I couldn’t even imagine they were kippies until you told me!”
They stood like that for a full minute, an infinitesimally minuscule mouse standing with his paws firmly on his hips facing a muted cosmic dragon who now blinked in turn.
“Oh,” she said. Then facepawlmed. “Listen, can you just pretend this conversation…never happened?”
Mod shrugged. “Suits me fine. I don’t want to get messed up into your cosmic businesses.”
“Just don’t underestimate your protégée: Bino would use anything to harm Peanut, given the chance and motivation. If you want to protect him from himself, help him raise Bosco into a fine dog.”
Mod nodded. “That was the idea after all, big girl. And anyway, don’t let your omnipotence get to your head: I knew Bino in life and I know he’s not some evil dog. Now relax and get me back to the lower reality, if you please.”
“Say what?” Bino asked.
The ghost mouse shook his head –rats, if he hated these sudden transitions! “Say what, what, pup?”
“You were starting to say something about those weird kittens and then you spaced out for a moment. So, what was the matter?”
Mod waved his paw. “Nah, I was just saying that I felt it weird that they were immune to fright. Must be too much TV.”
Bino kept frowning, and yet found himself wagging in spite of himself. “Well, son,” he said to Bosco, “at least now you know that TV does you good. It gives courage, for a starter.” Memo: Organize a TV soiree at least once a week to the benefit of the club’s members. Fox’s bibliophilic tendencies were almost as weird as cat-loving…
“See?” Maxwell’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “When he’s like that, all staring into his own depths, his eyes shining like Jake Nicholson’s, that’s the signal you better stay away from him, Bosco.”
Memo N.2: Make sure the Tylenol stocks are full. Bino turned and smiled to the cat. “Oh, Max, just the right cat: I wanted to talk to you, regarding your complicity in violating the ownership of my stuff. You know, the golden rule and such.”
Max grinned. “Biney, my friend, you promised: No violence and no cussing, remember?”

A second later, the house door slammed shut behind the black cat. “And you better be back late, demonspawn!”
---
Lindberg house

“Here you go.” Bill signed the last of the e-waivers on the tablet. Electronics or not, it still was a lot of stuff and gave him the carpal. “Congratulations, Kevin: Now you’re the happy owner of a second pet.” He shook hands with Kevin Marsh.
Lucky, the husky, and the red tabby Felix hugged, squealing, and then slapped hi-four. “Musketeers!”
“Well,” the Security vice-Director at the Lucky Charm Grove said, “At least he took it well.”
“Aw, it’s all right, Mr.—Dad,” Lucky said. “King and Bailey need more room and care, and soon she’s going to have pups. It’s hardly a sacrifice for me, especially now that I get to live with my best friend!” he was wagging hard.
The corgi male and the Alaskan/Siberian female exchanged a knowing look and a blush. Fox stood up. “Well, tomorrow we’ll start moving the stuff and fixing the rooms. Now I need to go to the bar, you two coming?”
King shook his head. “Nah. Knowing Bailey, she’ll start doing these chores all by herself. And a real gentledog couldn’t leave a lady all by herself—Ack!”
“We’ll be done in no time, thank you so much luv!” Bailey said, grabbing his paw and pulling him toward the stairs. King’s eyes pleaded for help to his friend.
Fox walked away, his eyes turned to the ceiling, “I can’t hear you lalalla.”
---
“Are you going to take a job?” Sasha asked Peanut.
The Canadian Pointer mix stopped in the motion of cutting into his slice of pie. “A job?”
“Yes! When that nice Ms. Lundberg will be elected, we may have our own jobs, or so Biney said. I’ll be a furdresser for the ferrets. I hope they give me free samples in return. You may work for the funny pages of a newspaper. Your Spot comic is cool!”
That much was sure, Peanut reflected before answering. In a way, given the time and effort he was dedicating to the comic, well the webcomic now, was just like a job.
Eventually, the dog shook his head with a meek smile. “Nah. The Foster twins – the BIG one, I mean – are setting the site so that I can make some money with each click or something. And then Uncle Martin will take care of having the strips printed into books. He’s also saying something about gadget marketing…”
“Yeah,” Grape added. “Just like him. But the point is, Sasha, Peanut got his jobs already as it is: he’s taking care of the family and he’s being an artist. And frankly, he doesn’t need a human job or something: We don’t need it. I’ll be just happy if we can be treated with more dignity in front of the law.”
“In this case,” Bino said between mouthfuls, but it was short lived as a delicate nudge from Sasha made him almost choke. He gulped down and cleaned his mouth, then said, “I’m sorry to tell you that Peanut will have something else more to keep him busy from tomorrow on.”
“’Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes’,” Grape said with a frown. “And what would that be?”
Bino patted Peanut’s shoulder. “I’m gonna offer him a series of neighborhood patrol shifts along with us regular K-9s. What do you say, mutt?”
Peanut’s eyes became as big as saucers. “That would be so awesome,” he said like a pup who’d just been introduced to his all-times hero.
“Nah, don’t make a movie out of it. I owed you that much for acting like a jerk after all. And you sure can throw a good one, I’m sure you will able to take care of your territory. Of course, you’ll be assigned to a human and your territory will cover your house. Deal?” He offered his paw.
Peanut shook it with enthusiasm. Grape knew that she hadn’t a chance to talk her mate out of this enterprise. She had to admire Bino, he surely knew how to throw a ball.
“I’ll make sure that everyone knows how generous you can be,” Peanut said, still holding Bino’s paw, looking at him straight in the eye with that…goofy smile?
A smile that hadn’t reached his blue eyes.
Bino felt as if his bones were being crunched in a vise. But it wasn’t really the pain that scared him.
It was…Peanut, his demeanor, the flaming core hidden under that crust of sweetness. “I am sure we’ll be the best of friends from now on. Am I right?”
Bino gulped, not wanting to pant out his fear. “Sure! You’re still a honorary member of the Club after all. We’ll be delighted to see you in action. Ouch.
Peanut let go of Bino, who hid his aching paw under the table. He needed ice, badly.
The kittens lifted up their arms. “YAYY! Daddy’s gonna be a cop!”
My Dad is a cop!” Bosco said, sticking his tongue out. “Yours is just…support.”
“He’ll do better than yours!” Parnok said, sticking out his tongue in return.
“Ha! He must only try!”
Grape sighed. “Well, I find it somehow relaxing that continuity is assured.”
Sasha stood up and collected the plates. “I’m so happy that you boys are settling down your differences. I’ll go take the desserts. I hope you like banana split, although it was hard to split the banana in enough pieces for all of us.”
---
Heathcliff’s

“Is there room for another?”
Fox was slumping over his table, a small glass filled with anise in his paw. “No. I am brooding.”
“All the better. Misery loves company,” Max said and sat in front of the husky. The cat offered him a stubby handmade cigarette. “’Nip?”
“Do I look like a cat all of a sudden?”
“Good point. So, why the long face?”
“And why the curiosity?” Fox kept staring at his glass as if he was seeing some mysterious world in the amber liquid. “But of course, you’re a cat. You can’t not mess into other pets’ business.”
Max decided he could take a smoke after all. He lit up the catnip and dragged. Then he blew a puff of dense smoke against Fox’s face. The poor husky started coughing and cleared the air with his paw. “Ugh, I’ll smell bad for a week! How can you smoke it?”
“Just like you can drink that vile stuff. And I won’t get toilet breath, after.” Max imitated Fox’s earlier gesture and made a face. “Ew, just how many did you drink?”
Fox scoffed. “If I’m still awake and talking, not enough.”
Max sighed. “Anyway, to answer your question: The happier things are at Lindberg House, the more Bino sulks, the happier I am. And you didn’t answer my question. Din din din!”
Fox downed his anise. “Girlfriend. I am here to erase my mind because all of this time I was Bino’s shadow while he built his life into marriage with pup. I helped him pick on Peanut and he’s married with kittens. I helped King get out of his shell and now he too is planning pups. But who will help me? I am such an idiot!” With that, he started facedesking against the crate. The last time he lifted his head, the husky was sporting a nice bump. “I think I’m feeling better now.”
Max reached out to hold his shoulders and keep him from collapsing. “I think you sorely need a pal, right now. Say, why not help each other? I’m looking for company as well.”
Fox’s next chuckle had a bit of a demented quality. The anise was taking effect. “Max, there were dogs thinking that King and I were an item, and it was embarrassing enough. Don’t you dare to put even weirder thoughts into their minds.”
Max’s cheeks started to redden. “I was suggesting...Ah, never mind now, you wouldn’t understand a thing anyway. Just trust me, I’ll help you.”
The husky’s voice was slurring. “Why not? Worse than this… Hey, why are your eyes green now?” And with that, he fell asleep, head backwards and tongue lolling out, drooling.
---
“Well, it was a nice dinner,” Grape said to her hosts, “And I’m sorry for when Parnok started that glitterfight with Bosco. I swear, I don’t even know how he got hold of it, it’s forbidden in our house.”
Sasha giggled. “Nah, it was good to see them at play, it makes the overall atmosphere merrier. And I love cleaning up!”
Bino looked as if someone had used a brush to paint his whole belly with glitterz. He just said, “Tomorrow I’ll bring you the schedule for your first shift, Peanut.”
“Cool! I still have the vest Fido gave me.”
“It will be a night shift, so you better oversleep.”
Peanut wagged. “No prob: Grape’s nocturnal habits rubbed off on me!”
Bino gritted his teeth behind his lips. “You didn’t have to tell me that.”
“Aw, be a good sport pup,” Grape said. “You can live with some knowledge after all. But anyway, thank you for being a fairly nice guy for tonight.” And, unexpectedly, the lavender cat reached out and took Bino’s head in her paws. And then she pecked his snout!
Bosco and the kittens giggled. Sasha said, “Daww, how sweet.” Peanut was aghast… And Bino, much to his supreme horror over his disgust, saw Boris and Yeltsin passing by the other side of the sidewalk, their eyes big as saucers!
Bino tried to stutter something, but by now the two dogs were already leaving, nudging and giggling. Come tomorrow, and the whole Club would have the month’s gossip served on a silver platter!
Then she turned and collected Louise and Nutella, having the first clinging to her neck before the kitten fell asleep and the second cradled in her arms, while Peanut took the other three upon his shoulders and neck. “See you around, guys,” the cat said one last time.
The door slammed hard behind them.
“That was a terrible thing to do,” Peanut chuckled at his spouse. But when we’re home you’ll wash your mouth before kissing me.”
She stuck out her tongue playfully. “Aw, I just saw the occasion and caught it. Cat thing. Not to mention that the mutt owed me one as well for threatening our family, and this will hurt him way more than a sucker punch.” Then her expression turned to one of admiration, just like Nala with Simba in the night scene. “But the steel you showed tonight…Hmm, you know how to turn on a lady, big boy.”
Peanut blushed. “Thank you. Say,” he lowered his voice to a more seductive tone as he whispered in her ear, “Since I’m all dressed up, why don’t we play Iditarod before we go to sleep?”
“Or, I could play Queen of Saba,” she whispered back. “You’ll be my faithful scriba and you’ll seduce me with your poetry.”
Before Peanut could answer yes to that dream, a collective sigh came from behind them!
They turned.
The crowd of admirers that was following them all along stopped in midmotion. “Err...” Duchess said with a sheepish grin. “Do you accept walk-ins for a court?”
Calmly, the cat said to her dog, “Peanut?”
“Grape,” he said with the same tone. Then shouting together, “RUN!!”. And off they went with their sleeping burden, while the crowd followed them caterwauling, barking and howling…

SEASON IV
EPISODE 8
FIN—WAIT!

Bino gave one last look to Sasha and Bosco, sleeping all snuggled up against each other.
“No matter how hard the day,” Mod said from the dog’s shoulder, “It all comes to this, and you are at peace. And don’t you say no, I can feel it coming from you.”
Bino found himself smiling. It was at moments like this that he felt…different from his usual self. He could think of going to sleep knowing he’d have someone always waiting for him, the steady lighthouse in his tormented life.
He’d need them to survive Fido’s wedding day. “I hope there won’t be too many cats,” he muttered to himself as he gently closed the door. Now he had to clean up his belly from the glitterz and then prepare a trap for Max for when he’d be back home. A dog needed his hobbies, after all!
He had just turned toward the bathroom, when he heard someone knocking at the door, below. “Ugh! Please tell me it’s not Peanut with the news that his weird kittens slipped back here.”

“Fido? Joey?” he said as he opened the door. “It’s dogawful late. Whatever it is, can’t it wait till tomorrow?”
The dog’s brothers exchanged a look. Both were holding a gold-bordered envelope in their paws. “Didn’t you get your mail, today?” Joey asked.
Bino puffed up his chest with genuine pride. “New mailman, showed him who’s boss here around! Why ask?”
Fido sighed. “Here. So you won’t tell us we were keeping it hidden from you.”
“Effectively, we were expecting you to come and see us after reading it,” Joey added.
Bino opened the envelope. “I knew that hanging out with cats could turn you crazy, but what are you talking about..?” he started reading. His eyes scanned the finely printed document once, twice, thrice…
Fido and Joey exchanged a grin.
For the first time since he was a puppy, Bino was showing his biggest smile and saucer-eyes. Then he and his brothers went all SQUEEEE! as they hugged and started jumping. The letter fell from Bino’s paws and onto the grass.
The letter read,

My dears,
I am so happy that all of you have found your special one! I am also sorry for being away when you, Bino and you, Joey, got married. But this time I persuaded my agent that I couldn’t miss Fido’s marriage as well.
So, expect me to be here at the Gardens by tomorrow at 9am, sharp. I can’t wait to see you again, a good old family reunion and an occasion to see how everyone else of the Club grew up. I am sure there is a LOT to see and learn. Who knows? I could work on a book about our meeting.
See you.
Your Brother,
FINO
Last edited by valerio on Thu Jul 10, 2014 12:25 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Legotron123
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

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[User was temp banned for this post]
Play The Hayseed Knight. This isn’t self promotion, I just really like the game.

You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?
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Obbl
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by Obbl »

Wow, didn't realize Fox was taking this so hard :? Poor guy.
I like Peanut's character development. It really shows through here. He's a great guy. :D
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flaremaster
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by flaremaster »

Hopefully Fox will catch a break and find somebody :(
However, with Max helping him, I doubt it.
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by legendario13 »

Wut?
A moment of enlightenment...aaaaand it's gone
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by RandomGeekNamedBrent »

Ah, the ever elusive Fino. apparently he's an author. wonder if he knows Res.

or is he some other kind of celebrity who wants to write a book?
Paradigm Shift by me
I do not actually believe any of what I'm saying.
RP character sheets
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by valerio »

Addded awesome STU art in Chapter 3, scroll up'n'checkie! 8-)
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by Cerberusx »

If Peanut and Grape did a calendar, the Milton Ferrets would make a good chunk of money. Because Peanut and Grape are offical eye-candy. :lol:
"Living is Hard Dying is Easy"

"The longer you stare into the abyss, the hard it is to find a reasons to turn back."
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

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HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES
Episode 9 – Guest Star
By VALERIO


1.
Lindberg House, Babylon Gardens. 8am

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” The voice reached him through a throbbing haze of grogginess and unspeakable pain located somewhere in his skull, in his ears, in his nose… “Going to fix breakfast, you need it,” the voice went on, adding to the pain. He mumbled something about needing sleep for another hour, two…a week perhaps. “Any preference?” Yes, please resurrect me as Miles, he’s big, tough, a ladies’ wolf and sober above all.
“Gg,” Fox mumbled from the basket he was curled up in. He made a feeble attempt at moving, his muscles protested with vigor. Opening his eyes that bit enough to let a photon pass through renewed the skull’s throb. “Ouch.”
“Eggs, eh?” Bailey said. The female husky was crouching in front of her wrecked cousin. “Okey dokey, And don’t worry for any vomit: We washed you before putting you to bed. Oh, and Daddy didn’t comment, but he also didn’t look pleased for your state. Just so you know.”
The Alaskan husky felt those few appetite impulses already turning off. He wrinkled his snout. “Ew.” He finally managed to half-open his eyes, rubbed them. He then yawned…and smelled the sewer he had in his own mouth. “Ew-wy.”
Bailey patted him on the back. “Worry not. A good breakfast followed by a box of mints should do miracles. King is cooking already, he’s good.” She helped the dog to stand up and led him down the stairs. “Care to explain your condition, by the way?”
Fox groaned. “Before or after burying myself into a pit?”
“That bad?”
Another groan. The world seemed less…wobbly, now, but his own voice was still giving him the headaches. “Listen, can’t you just ask again in a year or two? And then, you saw me like this in another occasion already.” He chuckled. Regretted it. “Remember that party at the Osborn farm? You were stoned as well, and we had to do night chores for one week to repay the damages.”
Bailey smiled tenderly. “Oh, I was not asking for my own sake, cousin.”
They entered the kitchen. Fox was just saying. “Then why—Ack!”
*TackLOMP!* In a second, the husky was pushed down onto the pavement. “Ah, morning King?”
The corgi was hugging his best friend with all his might. He was actually whimpering, and Fox hadn’t seem King like that since the first time they had an argument. “I was so worried, you—you—“
Fox saw the reddened eyes. Had King actually be crying? They husky felt like the king of idiots, while he ruffled the corgi’s head fur. “Hey, it was just a bit of anise, nothing to worry about as I was saying to Bail—“
“You never stoned yourself since…since forever!” King interrupted him. “We drunk soda together and did silly things, sure, but…” He bit his lower lip. “But yesterday night, you looked like—like—“
Bailey went to the counter and put the food in the plates. “What he’s trying to say is, we found you laying by the door, dead to the world. And I’ll spare you the details. King looked like he had just lost…well, you.”
Fox accepted the plate she was holding out. His eyes remained fixed on the pavement. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I really didn’t want to scare you, King.”
The smaller dog took his plate. He started eating a crispy slice of bacon. He frowned at his friend. “Then why did you do that to yourself? My…previous owner had taken that road and…it wasn’t pleasant for me.” King wished he could be more explicit than that, but he couldn’t let Bailey know he used to be a human, an abused child son of a drunkard loser. But Fox knew the secret of his past existence, Fox knew how the matter of drunkenness could trouble King. “You are better than that. And I am your friend, you know you can talk to me.”
Fox nodded. At least, the food was easing his pains and his sickness. He actually giggled.
“What’s so funny?”
“Heh, you are cheering me up. Things have really changed. But I don’t think you can help me on this, little buddy. No offense.”
King smiled. “Try me. You did miracles for me. If not for you, I wouldn’t be here.” His eyes encompassed the room, then his free paw went to Bailey’s. “I wouldn’t be with her. Least I can do is my best for you.”
Fox sighed. “Can you get me a girlfriend?”
King blinked a couple of times. “I’m sorry?”
Fox took a seat and sat up, soon imitated by the corgi. “You heard me the first time. Why are you looking at me as if I had just asked for the Moon?”
King scratched his head, his food forgotten. “Well, it’s just that…Do you remember when you tried to help me get a girlfriend? You said I looked like a ladykiller, and you introduced me to a loadful of ladies…of whom I don’t have a single number nor address, except for Sasha, my sweet love,” he quickly added to Bailey with a sheepish grin. Then he turned back to Fox. “Why don’t you ask them out? You’re quite handsome yourself, and you must have a lot to talk about, what with all the books you must have read in your life.”
Fox shook his head. “I-I don’t know. I mean, those are good friends, but…”
“Never met the one who melted your heart?”
The husky nodded. “Think about you: The moment you met Bailey, it was like a bomb going off. I saw you, it was as if you two were just destined for each other. No one had that effect on me. And then I think that Bino, of all dogs, built himself a family, and that even Peanut…and Joey, and—“ a slap to his face interrupted that train of thoughts. “Ow!” Fox massaged his cheek. “Why?”
“Because that’s not like you.” King’s blue eyes were hard now, much like Martin’s when the cold fury overcame him. “And I don’t care what you think, Bailey and I are gonna help you on this.”
Fox started to say something, but then sighed, resigned. “Fine. Any idea?”
King grinned like a sly imp. “I think I have one. Is your birthday a week away, right?”
“Uhh, yes?”
The corgi patted his friend’s paw. “Let’s just say it will be the party of your life.”
---
Costner House. 8:55

Fido, Bino and Joey couldn’t be described – to put it kindly – as best of litters. Not that they hated each other, in fact they used to hang out occasionally. But they also tended to regard each other with…diffidence.
It was an uncommon, if not rare, sight, to see them regarding a common menace with potential murder in their narrowed eyes, with the same grim expressions.
“You didn’t tell anyone,” Fido said. It wasn’t a question.
“This is our moment,” Joey added.
“Spoil it and you become a rug,” Bino concluded. “We’ll make your nine lives miserable in growing order of pain.”
The object of their warning was trying to flatten himself as much as physical laws allowed him. “Guys, guys, you should know me: How many times do I have to tell you? I still am attached to my fur, so don’t worry: No one in the Gardens has been alerted of our...your guest. Cross my heart.” He even made the solemn gesture.
The three brothers exchanged a doubtful look. Then Fido pressed his finger against the black cat’s chest. “Maxwell, remember: Two cops and a member of the Bigglesworth family. You wouldn’t survive this—“ he didn’t get to finish the sentence, as someone knocked at the door!
It was 9am!
“I’ll get it!” all 3 brothers said, running to the door. Bino made it to shove the others out of the way and grasped the handle, ready to give the warmest welcome to… “Samson?” Bino said, his smile fading with the sound of glass shattering. Joey, not less surprised, looked behind the hulking St. Bernard. “Elliot?” he squeaked the first name that came to mind…considering that the whole Love For Life Social Club seemed to present in the front yard of Costner House!
“Is he here yet?!” Samson asked, wagging hard –and not only him. Every swish and wag was producing a sound like a giant fan!
Bino just closed the door. Slowly. Without saying a word.
Bino looked at Max with skulls in his eyes. Joey and Fido’s eyes were burning. Literally ablaze.
Max flashed them his most teasing grin, while stepping backward, toward the stairs. “I didn’t lie, guys. You never told me not to call Terrace High. But don’t worry, the LFL was under oath not to tell anyone. Oh, yes, and I live for danger, you should know that too.”
“RUGRUGRUGRUGRUG!” All three dogs barked, running after their prey!
Max made it first to the first floor. He turned the corner toward his room. The dogs followed. A moment later, chaos erupted as the sound of the most epic fight came from the corridor. The three brothers sounded like a pack of rabid wolves mauling a deer with a passion. And yet, no sounds of cat fighting came from the dog pile.
A moment later, whistling a tune, Max walked out the corridor, examining a claw, while the sound of fight continued. “Gotcha,” he said, pleased with his plan.
“Nice job as usual, cuz!” said…the dog standing over the three brothers, easily keeping them locked onto the pavement. “Are they always so gullible?”
A dog with the brown fur matching his ‘victims’. Two darker spots covered his eyes, while the same darker shade ran down his back and to his tail tip. He also showed the family floppy dark ears, and something his brothers didn’t have: a patch of dark brown over his elbows and behind his knees.
“What can I say?” Max shrugged. “You must be the only one smart. For a dog.”
“FINO! WEEEEE!!” In a moment the table had turned and the oldest brother of the litter was hugged, ruffled and covered in doggy kisses.
Fino returned each hug and kiss, just savoring the moment. “Yeah, I had missed you guys a lot, too. But c’mon, I still can’t feel your love! Can’t you runts hug harder than that?!” and he proved it by squeezing the breath out of them, nibbling their ears in turn.
“I hope your collar won’t turn green with all that spittle,” Max chuckled.
Fino ran a paw over it to polish it –and, if possible the solid gold it was made of shone even brighter. “Nah, it should be guaranteed until end of time, for what it cost.” He stood up, his brothers wagging crazy.
“Where did you pass?” Fido asked. “It’s like Alamo out there.”
Fino ruffled the other dog’s head fur. “Oh, I made through the trees and from there to the roof and down here. Piece o’ cake. I expected Maxie to pull one of his pranks to give flavor to our plan.”
Bino stared at the cat. “You spoke with him before we did?”
The cat bowed deeply, extending an arm, the other placed at his chest. “That I did, kind Sir. Come on, where would be the fun if you just met at the door? I’ll bet anything that you would’ve limited yourself to a pawshake and some meager formality. Try and deny it!”
Fino approached Max and patted his back. “Nah, now don’t push it, cuz. I think it’s time to enjoy my adoring fan, give them a bone so to speak, or we’ll never had a tranquil day all for us.”
“I have an idea, if you’ll allow me,” Max suggested.

The door to Costner House opened. The crowd erupted in a cheer at the sight of the only and the one!
Fino raised his paws to silence them. He was now wearing a couple of sunglasses with triangular lenses. “Guys, a moment of your attention. I’d really love to meet you all right now, but as you can understand this is first of all a family reunion.”
“AWW!”
“But! I’d really love you to throw a great stag party for my bro Fido! So, the date is for tonight, at the Hexagon Park, and don’t forget to invite your friends here at the Gardens as we—“ but at that point, he was addressing an empty yard…if you didn’t account for the many shadows left there by the scampering crowd. A moment later, the shadows as well ran away.
Fino put his glasses back into his collar. “Ok, cuz, I must concede it: That was a good idea. Now, let’s go. I really want to meet some of the old fellas. It’s been ages since I moved. I kept myself updated through the various clubs’ blogs, but nothing beats meeting someone in the fur. For example, Bino, I owe you my most sincere congratulations.”
At that moment, Bino honestly regretted not having that annoying crowd around. “Thank you. For my—“ he was going to mention his career in the police, but then Fino said,
“For your splendid family! I may not be into this taboo thing, but I am proud that at least one of us had found the time to transmit our blood to the future!” He hugged his younger brother. “Now, I really want to meet Sasha and little Bosco—“ And he was almost pushed down to the ground when he got MEGAglomped by Sasha!
“YAY! Finny!” She turned him and gave him a death squeeze.
“Expansive…as ever…” Fino said through hard breath. Then his blue eyes went to the pup with the same fur pattern of Sasha, except that the colors were inverted like in a negative, and with a darker spot over his back. Fino bent over and picked him up. “Ahh, Mr. Bosco Byron I suppose! You really took the best of your parents!”
The pup stared in pure awe at the older dog. He had heard a lot of awesome tales about his uncle, to the point that to him it was as if they were talking about a human! “You’re cool!” he said, the first thing that came into his mind. “Want to play with me and my friends?”
Fino nodded, all serious in face and his eyes gleaming with mirth. “I came here just for that!” he let Bosco climbing up to his neck. “And speaking of which…I know I am giving you a pain, Biney, but I also want to meet Peanut: I missed that exuberant pup and his sniffing habits. I’ve read that he got married first here, and with a cat.”
“Yeah,” Bino only grunted. He would add something acid to that, but for once who cared? He was with his best brother ever, nothing could and would spoil these days!
“You don’t know her,” Fido said. “Her name’s Grape and she came to live here after you moved. She gave him a nice litter of five, yet another record.”
Fino was honestly surprised. “Five?! Well, all the reason to meet them then. And you, Joey? Is your marriage going well, too? Any plan for adopting?” he nudged him.
Joey blushed deeply. “Ah, not really. I…Blanche and I have yet to decide. She proposed a crocodile, once. I still am not sure if she was kidding.”
Fino raised an eyebrow. “Well, you surely win for originality, runt. Now let’s go.” He produced a cell phone and dialed a number. “But better call them, before they run to the High.”
“How did you get their numbers?” Bino asked.
His brother flashed him a trademark Fonz grin. “Heyyy, a dawg’s gotta have his secrets!”
---
Sandwich House

In more than one occasion, Peanut Butter Sandwich had remarked that Grape’s habits had eventually rubbed off on him. He meant it half-jokingly, just to tease his interlocutors.
He wasn’t definitely far from the truth –when it came to sleeping habits, for example. He had taken the nocturnal habits of the feline side of his family, to spend more time with them, and sleeping a long part of the morning just to keep in synch. Sometimes Grape wondered if it had actually taken magic for her to conceive with him…
And so, when his cell phone rang, it found him in the middle of a feline fur pile. He mumbled monosyllables while his fingers fiddled with his collar…before remembering he didn’t have it on. “Mrk, brk, du…” He sat up, stretched and yawned loudly. The phone kept ringing.
Peanut scratched his back and reached out to take it. “Not home. Leave messag—“ then he snapped awake as if the air itself had been made of concentrated caffeine. He listened, and eventually answered. “Sure. Of course. Can’t wait. See you.” Then he flipped the phone shut.
“…Was that?” Grape asked, all cuddled up with the twin sisters, Dayshaun and Parnok opened their eyes and, upon discovering themselves hugging, immediately separated, making a face. Tarot was already smoothing her fur.
Peanut kept looking at the phone as if it was alive.
Now Grape sat up as well, looking puzzled. “Nutty?”

Peanut’s howl of joy made the house tremble.
Last edited by valerio on Wed May 22, 2013 1:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by Legotron123 »

Watch out Martin!! Finos going to take your spot as "Mary sue" of the fanfic!! Wait.. What's that noise!?!?!????
*looks outside*
Oh no.....
Oh dear primus no.....
THE FINOCALYPSE HAS BEGUN!!!!!!!!!
RUN!!!!!!!
PANIC!!!!!!!
EVERYMAN FOR HIM SELF!!!!!!!!
LOOT THE SUPERMARKET!!!!!!
STOCKPILE ALL THE WEAPONS AND INSTANT MASHED POTATOHS YOU CAN BUY!!!!!!!
THE ENDTIMES ARE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Also king getting worried like that seems both in-character and out of character. Oh well.
Play The Hayseed Knight. This isn’t self promotion, I just really like the game.

You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by valerio »

And thanks again to CerberusX for his patient proofreading job! :D
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by Legotron123 »

A couple MORE comments I forgot to make about this fanfic:
1) anyone else want to see a flashback to when fox found out about king/Joel's secret?
2) can somebody provide me a link to when max became dragons avatar? I think I missed it.
3) BEST. FANFIC. EVER!!!!!!!!!!
Play The Hayseed Knight. This isn’t self promotion, I just really like the game.

You ever realize that the two longest pieces of literature in existence are both fanfics? Weird right?
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by valerio »

Legotron123 wrote:A couple MORE comments I forgot to make about this fanfic:
1) anyone else want to see a flashback to when fox found out about king/Joel's secret?
2) can somebody provide me a link to when max became dragons avatar? I think I missed it.
3) BEST. FANFIC. EVER!!!!!!!!!!
Thank youa lot for your appreciation! :D :D :D :D
Since I am just writing the next update, i could add a flashback.
As for the second question, there is not a specific moment told yet: Yes, I must correct that, so I'll add it somewhen in the near future.
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by Argent »

Legotron123 wrote: 3) BEST. FANFIC. EVER!!!!!!!!!!
Nah, the best fanfic ever is Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality.

The best D&D campaign writeup ever is Steven Brust's "Jhereg" series.
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by valerio »

2.
Outside Sandwich House, Babylon Gardens

“Do we just have to?” Bino grumbled.
The dog who was about to knock at the door stopped his paw at the last moment. The looks told several things about him: He was the oldest and the buffest of the group –pardon, the litter, if you counted those features that made it clear that he belonged to the family, from the eyes’ spots to the floppy ears, the back’s spot. And yet, unlike his brothers, this dog didn’t need a tag –not when he could wear a solid gold collar. At Bino’s request, the dog turned his head. “And why not, Biney?”
The younger canine crossed his arms. “B-because this is our day in the family. You’ll have occasion to meet everyone else, later. And I don’t like you hanging out with that weird—ack!” Before he knew it, his brother had just wrapped his neck in his arm and was giving his head fur a noogie.
“Ahh, but did I miss your rants, puppy!,” he said, grinning like a shark. “And of course you didn’t give him a honorary membership of your club, and you never backed your little bro, and you’re not going to be Fido’s best dawg, eh?”
Had Fido, or Joey, or anyone else tried to do such a thing and speak to Bino like that, sever mauling would have followed, to say the least. But this was Fino, not just any dog, and Fido and Joey weren’t the least surprised – in fact, they were exchanging a chuckle – to see Bino wriggling and giggling like a pup. “Hehehe, stop it! Stop it, you dastardly fleabag! Okay, okay, I have a reputation to keep up, but stop it!”
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Standing by the road, there were Max, Sasha and her pup Bosco. The black cat shook his head t the sight. “If I weren’t seeing it, smelling it and hearing it, I wouldn’t believe it. I’d take a picture, but I’m pretty sure the image would burn my SIM.” He sighed. “Well, Sasha, looks like you were right all along: There is something good in that rabid mutt, although it takes a Fino to show it.”
“*giggle* That’s because you don’t know how sweet he is when we’re m—mffflolfff!” She ended up the sentence, wagging, despite Max trying hard to hold her mouth shut with both paws.
He was desperately blushing. “Thank you for putting that image in my mind forever. Now I’ll have to go in treatment. Not to mention that you made remember I am still loveless.” He kindly pulled her arm. “Which reminds me, I was going to visit Fox today, wanna you two come with me? I believe that until tonight your hubbie’s mind is going to be elsewhere.”
---
Lindberg House

‘Elsewhere’ was an apt definition for the state of Fox’s mind.
He had just heard the words, he had understood what they meant.
He couldn’t believe it.
It was impossible.
All this time...
“Fox, he needs you. All the lives of Babylon Gardens need you.” But by now, Sabrina’s voice was reduced to a distant hum, words muted by the white noise that was the rage in the husky’s mind.
“Fox,” the black insisted, her voice tinted with an anguish that no one in the Gardens had heard so far. Fido, her boyfriend, would’ve been scared to hear it.
“Lies,” he said through clenched teeth. His fists were shaking.
“Fox, I am sorry, but he needs—“ Despite the warning of Spirit Dragon, she put a paw over the dog’s shoulder—and before she realized it, he had turned, grabbed her shoulders and slammed her against the wall. His fingers were sinking into her flesh.
“He needs to suffer for what he has done!” Fox roared like a wolf. Not even when Bino had angered him had he looked so fearful. “He dognapped me and who knows how many other innocent pets! His fat friend almost killed me! Don’t you realize how I hate that monster?!” A part of him felt almost surprised at himself believing so easily that King, the grumpy Corgi whose shell he had cracked a step at a time, the dog who had showed the good heart Fox knew was there…
That King was Joel Robinson. The PETA human.
But that wasn’t just any night, that just wasn’t a casual conversation between him and the psychic cat.
Tonight was the night the ghosts were coming back to reclaim the life that had been taken away from them by the nefarious Whiteman family. And Sabrina had just revealed herself to be the…messenger of some higher spiritual entity. Tonight was the night magic had come true. And Peanut, Grape, the Foster pets, heck even Tiger was on some quest to prevent a catastrophe from happening.
King was with them.
Joel was with them.
“Why?” Fox asked. He blinked, realizing only now he was crying, his ears flat against his skull. “Why did he go with them?”
Sabrina looked at her friend, stared straight into his soul with her golden eyes. “Because he loves you. And you’re hurting me by the way.”
The husky let her go. Surrounded by a delicate halo of green sparks, she floated to the floor.
Sabrina massaged her shoulders. “You’re stronger than I thought, good.”
“I—I’m sorry.” Fox wiggled his fingers. “But what did you just say? About…him?”
She took his paws in hers. Her voice spoke soothingly to his heart like a mother to her pup. “He loves you, Fox. He cares for you, he is ready to risk his life just for you. He hasn’t known friendship from the furkindred, he was betrayed when he was a kid and when he was an adult, his good will was rewarded with deceit and scorn. And despite that, a part of him has always wanted to believe there was hope.
“When he said that he was grateful to you for giving him back that hope, he wasn’t exaggerating. You have worked your miracle with him, and now he feels he must risk even his life, if necessary, to spare you from harm. That’s why he has gone with Peanut and the others to the spirit realm. But he’ll be needing help. He’ll be needing your help, because only that can give him the inner strength to go on this perilous quest.”
Fox wiped his eyes clean. “He’d die…for me?”
Sabrina nodded, sporting an enigmatic smile. “Such is the essence of true friendship. He didn’t hesitate.”
And Fox, somehow, knew she wasn’t lying, nor embellishing the truth.
Because the truth was that Fox hadn’t become friend with Joel Robinson, he had never talked to a human. He had felt drawn by that poor creature sitting on the steps, all alone, as if waiting for someone just to say ‘hi’.
Hey there new dog! You wanna fight over a squeaky bone?
I like humans, present company excepted, and if you release me I’m just going to tear you apart and go home.

Fox felt almost torn apart between the contrasting emotions. He didn’t even know how hadn’t he fainted under the stress. Too much information, too fast!
King would die for him.
Fox’s eyes went to the window of his room.
The street outside was alive with the silent shapes of the Whiteman victims. Dogs, cats, other wild species…Each shape a testimony of the atrocious end suffered at a pet fight club, the innocents who now wanted back to life, no matter the costs for the living.
King would die for him. He would sacrifice himself to save the Gardens, even Bino. Because Fox was his best and only friend…
Because king was a good dog.
Fox sighed. “Sabrina.” He just hoped he was right as he spoke. “Or Spirit Dragon, whoever you are.” He hoped this would not end up with another treason. “Bring me there.”
Because he needed King, too…
“Fox?”
“Ack!” The transition to the present was like a physical slap. His eyes focused back on King, who was looking at him with a worried face.
“Are you ok?” the Corgi asked. “Because you had really spaced out.”
Fox chuckled…then hugged the smaller dog. “Thank you.”
“Ah, err…” King patted the husky’s back. “You’re welcome. Whatever it is for.”
Fox let go of him. “Thank you for being there for me. Call me silly, but only now do I realize that you never let me down. I can say I have many friends, and even Bino can be a cool one despite it all…But no one would spend their time with me whenever I just knocked at their door, or just listen and listen to me talking, or helping me with the Club chores –in fact, I must thank you for letting me take all the glory when Bino complimented me. So, again, thank you, and I promise I won’t interfere with your attempts to help me find a girlfriend.”
“How nice!” Bailey said. “And yes, I have been here all the time; afraid to see my dog running away with you. Seriously, King, will I have to fight for your affection, one of these days?”
King was saved from answering when they knocked at the door.
---
Fino knocked.
Immediately, two voices were heard from behind the door. “I’LL GET IT!”, followed by a sound as if a wrestling session had just started.
“Grape, don’t you dare!”
“No way, mutt! I head him *huff* first!”
Then came the sound of claws digging into the pavement – making the four brothers flinch and grit their teeth – followed by Peanut’s voice. “*grunt* Grape! You’re a cat!”
“So what?! I am a dog lover too, hadn’t you noticed?!” and then again the sound of them wrestling, barking and hissing.
Fino turned to his brothers, his thumb pointing at the door. A giant sweat drop was running down his temple. “Are they always like that?”
“Far as I know,” Joey answered, “Grape was a Pridelands devoted only. Didn’t know she was a fan of you as well.”
And then the door opened, slowly.
Fino turned back. “Oh, hey guys hi—“ he said…before he realized he was talking to thin air.
“You must be Fino,” the purple female kitten said, drawing his eyes down. She looked as if she was slightly annoyed. “Welcome. My parents are still busy ruining their self-respect. I am Tarot.”
“Hello to you, little one,” Fino said, a little hesitantly. “Do you think we should…come another time—Ack!” and it was then that Peanut hugged him.
“Fino! Yay! Welcome back, I had missed you so much!”
Fino hugged the younger dog back. “Great to see you too, puppy! Or should I say, big time hero? I read what you did to protect your family, some time ago…” Then he noticed it. “Wow, now that’s a radical look change,” then he batted his eyes and put up a cute pose while his voice assumed a girlish tone, “or have you put this on just for me, luv?”
Peanut ran his paws along his harness. “No, I bought it from the ferrets! Grape really loves it—*trampled*”
“Collarless is better, but Finneish is awesome!” Grape said, standing over her husband’s body. She was grinning ear to ear, offering her paw. “Charmed, pretty pup! I must say it, you look even more awesome in the fur.”
Fino shook the purple appendage. “Well, I could autograph your neck if you want, but I fear your marriage would suffer. May I in now?”
Grape blushed a bit, then moved aside while dragging Peanut along. “Please do! We arranged a couple of snacks for you guys.”
The four brothers walked in. “Thank you,” Joey said. “In fact, we still must have break—“ then they stopped at the sight of the banquet waiting in the living room! There were two pyramids, one of sweets, one of savories, both tall like a human! “—fast.” Joey started to drool. Fido and Bino ran to the table and a moment later they were stuffing themselves like ferals during the ‘30s Ukrainian famine.
Fino shook his head, smiling. “It’s funny how Bino writes about his superiority toward Fido, when they have more in common that he’d likes to admit.”
“That’s Bino for you,” Joey said, going to the table. “Oh, and those are the rest of the litter,” he said, his snout pointing at the four kittens “Dayshaun, Parnok, Louise and Nutella. Aren’t they the cutest things?” Each of them was grinning his/her welcome, while holding copies of different books.
Fino produced a pen. “Never leave home without.” He bent down and signed each copy, adding a customized dedication. “I’ll say, you guys are my youngest readers ever. I thought you’d like something…more apt to your age.”
“Bo-oring,” all of them said in chorus. Then it was Nutella who said, “We decided to read your stuff after watching the True Friends Animal Planet show.”
“Yep!” Louise added. “We want to be detectives like those cats from Frisco! They are cool!”
“Pfft!” Parnok said, sticking out his tongue at them. “I will become a Buwaran citizen and defend the sacred country of all free animals!” And that caused a sharp-tongued answer from the girls. Dayshaun tried to put some peace and was soon dragged into the fight.
“My siblings,” Tarot said, sighing, standing by Fino.
“I have this effect on…some of my fans,” the dog said, bending down this time to grab a couple of spitting and hissing kittens by the scruff to separate them, while Peanut and Grape did the same with the other two. To Peanut, Fino said, “If one deserved to raise a family, that’s you dog.”
Peanut sighed. “You know, I really can’t understand why everyone makes such a big thing out of it. Every good pet is supposed to protect his family. It’s in our blood.”
“First time we agree on that!” Bino said from the table, his mouth ignominiously full. “Although dogs will always do it better.” He blatantly ignored Grape’s glare, in fact enjoying stinging her and getting away with it.
Fino put the kittens down, then walked toward the table. “Because I’ve read the full story and seen the pictures. Pup, those killer dogs would’ve put a wolf to shame. You may be right about instincts, but those same instincts would’ve suggested the ‘flight’ part in the fight or flight reaction. And speaking of fighting, Grape, you deserve no less praise: A cougar wouldn’t have done better in that moment.”
Grape beamed and gave Bino a Japanese raspberry. Then she said, “So, how long are you staying here? Nutty said you have come for Fido’s wedding, right?”
Fino nodded. “Yup. Perhaps I could extend my leave for a week or so before I have to go back on the set—“ he saw stars lightening up into everyone’s eyes.
“Hollywoo-od!” the other pets chanted, clasping their paws.
Fino put his finger behind his gold collar. “Ah, not really: It's a new studio in Mexico, cheaper according to production. Of course I can’t divulge much, contract and stuff you know…But I can tell you it will be titled The Oceans of the Dolomites. It will be set in partly in Italy, so I will be away for a while—“
“AWW what?”
“But!” he immediately raised that same finger to silence them, “I have asked and obtained from my agent to have you as my gracious guests during the shots. It would be great to have you guys with me for once—“
“YAY!” he was interrupted again.
But, only you and your families. No one else, okay? This means, Fido, that you’re entitled to bring Sabrina and Pixel –who you must introduce me to yet. And you, Joey, better not try to sneak the whole Bigglesworth clan in your baggage. Only Blanche. And your…ex-girlfriend, too, if she wanted to come. A mouse is small and won’t give problems to security. Can I count on your discretion—Hey, where are y’all goin?”
In a moment, his adoring fans had disappeared, running each one toward the nearest room, downstairs or upstairs it could be.
“They’re going to go squee in private,” Tarot said. “Can I show you a magic trick?”
Last edited by valerio on Tue Jun 18, 2013 4:00 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by Obbl »

Little Tarot is just adorable. :lol:
And, oh boy, the entire kitten pack are avid readers. They're going to be a handful :D

What is "Finneish"? :|
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by valerio »

'finneish' = Fino-style.
And who's got more style than Fino? :lol:

EDIT - Oh, and it's official now: Peanut wears his new harness and no collar. SHAMEFUL!
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by RandomGeekNamedBrent »

couple things. in English, we call it the "fight or flight" response, not "fight or flee"

second, the "fist-rubbing his headfur" action is called giving him a noogie in English.

other than that, great as always.
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by valerio »

RandomGeekNamedBrent wrote:couple things. in English, we call it the "fight or flight" response, not "fight or flee"

second, the "fist-rubbing his headfur" action is called giving him a noogie in English.

other than that, great as always.
corrected and thank you! :D
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by Cerberusx »

I'm disappointed in myself for not noticing that....
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by valerio »

Cerberusx wrote:I'm disappointed in myself for not noticing that....
*hugs* don't worry, you are helping a lot as it is already :D
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Re: HOUSEPETS! THE SERIES Official Thread

Post by Legotron123 »

I wonder how fox and king will react to fino? Also thanks for putting in the flashback.
Play The Hayseed Knight. This isn’t self promotion, I just really like the game.

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