the aliens mentioned above did in fact not win the war as a few thousand survivors remained and fought back for over 20 years and won.....i am one of there descendents....

"The Simpsons" is actually a live-action show, filmed on location in Springfield. Their odd appearance is due to radiation leaks over the past 40 years from the Springfield plant.

the reason japan is our allied nation is because not only did we drop two nukes during world war two but we created and sent Godzilla to destroy major city's and seaports.....

Every US president since Polk has been a secret "My Little Ponies" fan.

the united states number one export is oil.........and alien body parts.....

To draw with the Ink of Resuscitation is to bring the drawing to life. As such, only those with minds pure and happy are allowed to use it.

we humans are in fact not the dominate species of planet earth in stead it is the super intelligent mice that rule over us in secret, pushing us to war, starvation, famine, and sickness.

I don't think that's a lie. I'm pretty sure that was in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Or at least, there was something similar.

If two Fords were to come into contact the world would implode from shock that those cars managed to get that far.

The oddest creature on Earth is the glove-necked stiltnicker, a tiny animal that lives in the elastic of your pajamas and comes out when you sleep to insert its five neck tendrils under your eyelids or in your ears and eat your dreams before you have a chance to remember them.

Dropbears are a giant relative of the Koala. Measuring at 6'1" they live in trees in Australia and drop down on unsuspecting tourists, hence their name. They are now scientifically proven to prefer tourists to Australians. It is thought that this is due to their lower blood vegemite levels not reacting with the sweat glands to produce sufficient Dropbear deterrent chemical signals.

Read the full article on the research here.

i have made a most remarkable discovery. it seems to be a creature the size of man, i don't know how that's possible but i have hence named the creature a vegrot. the vegrots look like something of a mix of a pile of moss and a yacks hind end.....a fascinating creature to no end....(log end: personal journal. march 23 1923.)

The original formula for Coca Cola contained unicorn blood, which was terribly addictive. The resulting demand led to the unicorn (never very numerous) being hunted to extinction, and the substitution of phosphoric acid to help addicts fight the cravings.

The original formulation for Gatorade actually contained crocodiles but they were sued for malpractise and mislabelling their products and misleading consumers. Hence the reason we now all drink Crocodileade instead.

During the Great Depression people used to tickle each other with feathers because they couldn't afford fingers.

Motorola's first product was an oven cleaner, and Commodore's first product was an electric kazoo.

Blues music was first invented by Pablo Picasso to match the paintings he created during his "Blue Period".

Romeo and Juliet were rescued from death by a zombie Leonardo da Vinci, but they keep making the same mistake every time they're reincarnated.

"Romeo, Romeo, where for art thou, Romeo?"
"I'm right here Juliet! Put your glasses on!"


Shakespeare actually wrote all his plays using a dictaphone because he couldn't spell. He then had his friends transcribe the works which is why they're all written in different handwriting styles and why his name is written with so many different spellings.

I don't like pancakes... at all... not even a little... I burn them every time I see them...

That's just the way I like my pancakes. Nice and crispy.

I can't feel pain. Oh, I'm shot? Then why can't I feel anything?

A drunk fairy was chosen to be my muse and if I don't do what she wants, she wand smacks me into writing...

There's a magical guru under my bed. Every night, he takes control of my body so I can become the masked vigilante, "The Peacekeeper".

Ford and Toyota are actually the same company. The Japanese word for Ford is actually Toyota.

One time in the grand canyon I was attacked by a unicorn that had three legs and one giraffe.

[What was the unicorn doing with a giraffe?]

The original design for the Washington Memorial was a giant pair of false teeth.

I held a convention for Star Trek in the original Star Trek Bridge, but invited the cast of TNG, and had them act out a scene from Voyager.

I once counted down all the way from infinity to minus infinity.

I once counted DOWN from zero to one.

The dogs from Walt Dsney's Lady and The Tramp can not be seen during the Twilight Bark sequence in Disney's 101 Dalmatians and in the "Why Should I Worry" song in Disney's Oliver and COmpany.

Unicorns, when lacking legs, use giraffes.

Rhinos are actually unicorns in biking leathers.

Unicorns are anorexic rhinos.

Swivel chairs were invented in Portugal in 1932 by a figure skater who wanted to practise his pirouhettes whilst working in his office job.

The skateboard was invented by office workers in the late 1960s that went on strike and used the whiteboards to protest

Whiteboards were invented when schools ran out of dusters in WWII and the chalk dust built up so thickly and firmly that they started to write on them with ink instead, blowing away the dirty layer of dust each time they were done.

Schools were invented as a way to maintain children away from their parents to give their parents a chance of peace and quiet. The education was a way to keep the children distracted.

[are you sure that's a lie?]

There are two states and three major rivers that don't show up on any map of the United States, due to a lawsuit between Benjamin Franklin and a Parisian bathtub maker.

North Dakota never existed. It is a lie perpetuated by the USA so that We could bolster South Dakota up some by having a state less exciting than it is.

Angry Beavers is a realistic portrayal of beaver life.