Fuzzy Memories

What do you call a fic that's not a fic

Moderators: Hagus, SeanWolf

User avatar
ShadowLightning
Posts: 728
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 9:53 pm
Location: The magical land of "Tomorrow"
Contact:

Fuzzy Memories

Post by ShadowLightning »

Hello! I made a fan fiction! Well, actually, I made a lot already but, here's one I made that looks like it's worth posting. Right, so I don't really have a title yet, unfortunately... Hopefully I can think of one soon enough. So, um, right, comments, suggestions and anything at all is appreciated. Let me know your honest opinion. But please don't be too cruel, okay...? Okay!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I feel pain on my side. Actually, not just on my side, but pretty much my entire body. I couldn’t move. Even the slightest inch will give me a small sharp pain. I groggily open my eyes and find myself in an empty room. Well, not really empty. There’s this soft bed I’m on, a drawer and cabinet to my right, a few paintings on the wall and some monitors and machines or something to my left. But since I’m the only one here, I guess you could say it’s… empty.

‘Oooookay… where am I?’

It’s quiet. The only sounds I can hear are my breathing and the beeping from the monitors next to me. I try sitting up to get a better view of where I am, only to feel another sharp pain to my side.

‘Ouch, that hurt.’ I sigh in defeat and lie back down.

‘What happened anyways?’ I ask myself. I feel my head start to pound and I cringe in pain. ‘And… why does my… head hurt?’

I hear the door open. I quickly close my eyes and pretend that I’m asleep. I stay motionless and hear footsteps enter the room.

“Here he is. Poor little fella…”

“Is he gonna be okay doctor?”

“Don’t worry. He’ll recover in a few days or so.”

“I hope he gets better…”

“He’ll be fine. I’m sure of it.”

“Now, um, Mr. and Mrs. Sandwich, is it? May I speak to both of you outside for a moment?”

“Okay, doctor. Grape, stay here and watch him for us while we’re gone, okay?”

“Okay mom…”

I hear footsteps leaving the room and the sound of the door shutting. I think they left. But then why do I get this feeling that someone’s staring at me? Oh yeah, one of them stayed behind. Grape, huh? That’s an unusual name for someone.

“Well, hope you get better soon, whoever you are.” Grape sighs. “It’s really quiet with Peanut staying at home. I wonder what he’s doing right now…”

Peanut? Seriously, I can’t believe that’s what parents’ name their kids nowadays.

I slowly open my eyes and see a purple-furred cat next to me.

‘Oh, so that’s why you’re named Grape…’

“Oh, um, hi.” she waves at me. “So, uh… how are you feeling?”

I nod weakly. “Okay…”

“Good to know.”

She averts her gaze somewhere else and an awkward silence occurs.

“So, um, Grape, is it?” I ask softly. “Where am I?”

“Oh, you’re in the vet.” she answers.

Vet… which is short for veterinary, which is like a hospital for animals. Huh, guess that explains all those monitors next to me. I wonder… what happened to me?

The door opens again and three humans enter the room, one female and two males, one of them looks like a doctor. “Oh, he’s awake.” he says.

“Hey there, little guy…” the other man kneels down next to my bed. “I’m Mr. Sandwich.” he gestures to the female behind him. “This is Mrs. Sandwich, my wife. And this is Grape.” He motions toward the cat.

I force a small smile. “Nice to meet you.” Well, it would’ve been nice if I’m not, you know… injured or something. “So, um…” I begin quietly, “What’s going on?”

“We were hoping you could tell us.” the doctor says. “Mr. and Mrs. Sandwich brought you here when they found you on their way home from work.”

“Wait, where did you find me?” I ask.

“In an empty alley near our neighborhood.” Grape replied. “You were all covered in cuts and bruises so they rushed you here as fast as they could.”

“Lucky enough we were able to revive you just in time. But we still need to know, what happened out there and how did you get those injuries?” the doctor asks.

I think for a second. ‘Hm, what DID happen to me…? I… I don’t know…’ I try harder to remember but then I feel my head start to throb.

“Ahh…” I cringed in pain. “I… I’m sorry. I-I can’t remember…”

“Don’t force yourself. You’re still recovering.” the doctor says.

“Do you think he has Amnesia?” Mrs. Sandwich asks.

“Maybe, I’m not sure. He may have to stay here for another few days.”

“What about your name? Do you still remember it?” Grape asks.

I close my eyes and start thinking. ‘My name…’ I search my mind for anything that could be my name, but find nothing.

I shake my head. “Sorry… can’t remember it either.”

“That’s not good…” the doctor says. “Well, is there anything else you remember? Your family? Friends? Relatives? Anything at all?”

I close my eyes again and think. I search my mind again for something but still nothing comes out. My memories of everything that’s happened to me are gone. Or maybe, they weren’t here to begin with. It’s like my mind’s gone blank. Completely empty…

I shake my head again. “Sorry…” I frowned. “I really can’t remember anything…”

“Oh, don’t worry.” Mr. Sandwich pats my shoulder. “I’m sure your memory’s gonna come back. Right, doctor?”

The doctor nods. “After a few days of recuperation, I’m sure you’ll get better soon. Just some rest and medicine will make it all better, okay?”

I nod. “Okay…”

There’s a knock on the door and a nurse comes in. “Doctor, there’s another patient waiting for you in the next room.”

“Oh yes, I almost forgot. Well, sorry to leave unexpectedly but I have to go.”

The nurse and the doctor leave the room.

“Oh dear, look at the time.” Mrs. Sandwich says, looking at her watch. “We have to get home soon. You know how Peanut is when we leave him alone too long.”

“Right…” he nods and turns to me. “Looks like we have to get going too.”

“Sorry to leave you all by yourself.” Grape says.

“No, no, it’s okay. I’ll be fine.” I lied.

“Well, good bye.” Mr. and Mrs. Sandwich leave the room and Grape follows.

“Oh, right.” she stops and takes out something from under the bed. “Here, mom and dad said you had this with you when they found you.”

She gives the object to me and I hold it in my paws. “What… is it?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know but I think it’s yours.”

I stare at the object in contemplation. ‘I wonder what this is…’

“Well, I got to go.” Grape heads for the door.

“Wait.” I stop her.

“Yeah?”

“Y-you guys are coming back to visit… right?” I say hesitantly.

“Uh, sure. Why not?” she smiles as she leaves and closes the door behind her.

I sigh to myself. “Alone again…”

I hold out the object in my paws to look at it. “It looks like a box. I wonder what’s inside it…”

I open the box and I hear a gentle melody begin to play. It sounds like a lullaby, sounds so soothing. My mind becomes at ease again. As I continue to listen to the soft tune playing, I start to feel… something. I don’t know what it is and it’s hard to describe it. It feels all warm and… mushy. Is that the right word? I look at the box again and upon closer inspection, I notice something inside it. It looks like a tag for a collar. I feel my neck with my paw and-

“Wait! W-where’s my collar?!” I cried softly. “Eeeew, I’m naked…” I cover myself with the bed sheets in embarrassment and feel my face start to flush. Guh, I hope they didn’t notice.

I take out the tag from the box and gaze at it. It’s in the shape of a heart. Wow, a heart. And this is supposed to belong to me? I search for a name on the tag but see nothing. No name, no address, no anything. Wow, that sure helps a lot.

I stare at the tag again and see my reflection. My eyes are pink, and so is my fur.

“That’s me?” I look at my paws and tail to double-check. “Great, I even forgot what I looked like. That’s not good…”

I sigh to myself. “Oh well…” I place the tag back in the box, lie back down on my pillow and listen to the soft melody playing from the box. “All my memories… gone from my mind. I guess this is Amnesia, huh. Not much I can do now, except maybe sleep.” I close my eyes and begin to drift away from consciousness.

‘Who knows, maybe I’ll remember when I wake up. Maybe…”
Last edited by ShadowLightning on Wed Apr 17, 2013 3:25 am, edited 2 times in total.
Heellooooooooo!! Anyone who wants to talk to me, please do. I get lonely sometimes and I get scared whenever I talk first...
Avatar done by the wonderful kurowolfe!
I also have an FA account now. Sooo... check it out.
User avatar
Mickey the Luxray
Posts: 974
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am
Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
Contact:

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by Mickey the Luxray »

Might I suggest "Remembrance" as a title?

Also, this is a good start. A little bit clunky at points in terms of the writing, but the story is definitely something I'd like to read.
If you want my number, it's #804080.
User avatar
valerio
Posts: 19330
Joined: Mon May 25, 2009 6:53 am
Location: Italy
Contact:

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by valerio »

off to a good start. Wanna see soon what happens next! 8-)
Image
User avatar
Silly Zealot
Posts: 1770
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am
Location: The land of the dulce de leche!

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by Silly Zealot »

What always bugs me about this kind of stories is this: Can't remember anything about their lives or even their names, yet are still able to speak fluently. One would think a person with such brain damage would only babble incoherently.
I am intrigued so far. I now wanna know what species is that character? What gender? Why is it pink? I'm allergic to pink!
20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2020, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too!
User avatar
ShadowLightning
Posts: 728
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 9:53 pm
Location: The magical land of "Tomorrow"
Contact:

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by ShadowLightning »

Silly Zealot wrote:What always bugs me about this kind of stories is this: Can't remember anything about their lives or even their names, yet are still able to speak fluently. One would think a person with such brain damage would only babble incoherently.
I am intrigued so far. I now wanna know what species is that character? What gender? Why is it pink? I'm allergic to pink!
I thought amnesia only affected the brain's memory. I didn't know it affected other functions as well. And besides, how sure are you that it's brain damage and not... something else?
Also, for the gender, it was mentioned that he's a guy.
Heellooooooooo!! Anyone who wants to talk to me, please do. I get lonely sometimes and I get scared whenever I talk first...
Avatar done by the wonderful kurowolfe!
I also have an FA account now. Sooo... check it out.
User avatar
valerio
Posts: 19330
Joined: Mon May 25, 2009 6:53 am
Location: Italy
Contact:

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by valerio »

Silly Zealot wrote:What always bugs me about this kind of stories is this: Can't remember anything about their lives or even their names, yet are still able to speak fluently. One would think a person with such brain damage would only babble incoherently.
I am intrigued so far. I now wanna know what species is that character? What gender? Why is it pink? I'm allergic to pink!
Peanut seems to suffer from retrograde amnesia, which means he can't recollect anything from a given date.
This usually doesn't interfere with acquired skills such as language and social skills. It should be noted that head traumas are rarely the cause of retrograde amnesia. They usually cause some difficulty in elaborating and processing new memories, while the old ones are still there.
Retrograde amnesia is more easily caused by electroshock therapy, drugs, alchohol and deep psycologichal traumas
Image
User avatar
Silly Zealot
Posts: 1770
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am
Location: The land of the dulce de leche!

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by Silly Zealot »

valerio wrote: Peanut seems to suffer from retrograde amnesia, which means he can't recollect anything from a given date.
That's not Peanut, you need to re-read this fan fiction.
20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2020, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too!
User avatar
valerio
Posts: 19330
Joined: Mon May 25, 2009 6:53 am
Location: Italy
Contact:

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by valerio »

Silly Zealot wrote:
valerio wrote: Peanut seems to suffer from retrograde amnesia, which means he can't recollect anything from a given date.
That's not Peanut, you need to re-read this fan fiction.
got distracted, sorry. Happens with me. :oops: :oops: :oops:
Image
User avatar
Mickey the Luxray
Posts: 974
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am
Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
Contact:

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by Mickey the Luxray »

Silly Zealot wrote:
valerio wrote: Peanut seems to suffer from retrograde amnesia, which means he can't recollect anything from a given date.
That's not Peanut, you need to re-read this fan fiction.

I think he was using Peanut as a counter, not as the in-fic example.
If you want my number, it's #804080.
User avatar
copper
Puppy Wrangler
Posts: 6362
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Location: Florida

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by copper »

Definitely interesting. I wonder how related to Sasha this character will be.

Is this one of those magically turned into a pet fan fics? Or is this going to be a find your past sort of thing?

So what does the melody sound like? Any Youtube examples?
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image
User avatar
Silly Zealot
Posts: 1770
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am
Location: The land of the dulce de leche!

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by Silly Zealot »

copper wrote: So what does the melody sound like? Any Youtube examples?
Here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ww0sZrwl7Ck
20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2020, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too!
User avatar
ShadowLightning
Posts: 728
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 9:53 pm
Location: The magical land of "Tomorrow"
Contact:

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by ShadowLightning »

Silly Zealot wrote:
copper wrote: So what does the melody sound like? Any Youtube examples?
Here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ww0sZrwl7Ck
Actually, it's this one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbjQqWFxbaM
And no, this isn't one of those fan fics where the main character magically gets turned into a pet.
Heellooooooooo!! Anyone who wants to talk to me, please do. I get lonely sometimes and I get scared whenever I talk first...
Avatar done by the wonderful kurowolfe!
I also have an FA account now. Sooo... check it out.
User avatar
Silly Zealot
Posts: 1770
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am
Location: The land of the dulce de leche!

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by Silly Zealot »

Maybe not magically, but how about cientifically?
20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2020, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too!
User avatar
ShadowLightning
Posts: 728
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 9:53 pm
Location: The magical land of "Tomorrow"
Contact:

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by ShadowLightning »

Silly Zealot wrote:Maybe not magically, but how about cientifically?
I really don't want to reveal anything else, but let's just say you're close.
Heellooooooooo!! Anyone who wants to talk to me, please do. I get lonely sometimes and I get scared whenever I talk first...
Avatar done by the wonderful kurowolfe!
I also have an FA account now. Sooo... check it out.
User avatar
Mickey the Luxray
Posts: 974
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am
Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
Contact:

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by Mickey the Luxray »

"Let's put this guy into a cat's body, Vance!"
"But why?"
"..."
"...Oh no you don't. Don't you da-"
"FOR SCIENCE!"
If you want my number, it's #804080.
User avatar
copper
Puppy Wrangler
Posts: 6362
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Location: Florida

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by copper »

Kind of the same thing, but alright! I look forward to reading this at any rate. :)
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image
User avatar
Silly Zealot
Posts: 1770
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am
Location: The land of the dulce de leche!

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by Silly Zealot »

copper wrote:Kind of the same thing, but alright! I look forward to reading this at any rate. :)
No, it's not the same! Science has GLADOS, magic has Harry Potter. One is a crazy, spitefull, unloved being that has left a lot of dead people in their wake, and the other one is GLADOS.
20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2020, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too!
User avatar
Mickey the Luxray
Posts: 974
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am
Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
Contact:

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by Mickey the Luxray »

Silly Zealot wrote:One is a crazy, spiteful, unloved being that has left a lot of dead people in their wake, and the other one is GLADoS.
You have won my internet for the minute.
If you want my number, it's #804080.
User avatar
RandomGeekNamedBrent
laughing maniacally
Posts: 21032
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:42 pm
Location: an invisible, flying volcano over Virginia

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by RandomGeekNamedBrent »

Mickey the Luxray wrote:
Silly Zealot wrote:One is a crazy, spiteful, unloved being that has left a lot of dead people in their wake, and the other one is GLADoS.
You have won my internet for the minute.
and yet, because I watch the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, I've grown to recognize that kind of joke's setup. So I knew it was coming.

and this looks to be quite interesting. not only does the main character have amnesia, but it's first person so we can see the thought processes of the amnesiac.

and for a title, may I suggest "Amnesia: the Pink Ascent"

nah, "remembrance" sounds good. maybe "forgotten past" or something like that. Oh, I know... "fuzzy memories" :lol:
Paradigm Shift by me
I do not actually believe any of what I'm saying.
RP character sheets
User avatar
Mickey the Luxray
Posts: 974
Joined: Fri Mar 15, 2013 1:01 am
Location: Why-Cant-We-Be-Given-Some-Consarned-Snow-Ville, USA
Contact:

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by Mickey the Luxray »

RandomGeekNamedBrent wrote:and for a title, may I suggest "Amnesia: the Pink Ascent"
It's a good thing I have plenty of internets to hand out.
If you want my number, it's #804080.
User avatar
Silly Zealot
Posts: 1770
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am
Location: The land of the dulce de leche!

Re: Untitled Fanfic

Post by Silly Zealot »

RandomGeekNamedBrent wrote:
Silly Zealot wrote:One is a crazy, spiteful, unloved being that has left a lot of dead people in their wake, and the other one is GLADoS.
and yet, because I watch the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, I've grown to recognize that kind of joke's setup. So I knew it was coming.
I actually based that joke from a dialog exchange between Guybrush Treepwood and three lawyers in Monkey Island 4 ("What's the difference between the zombie pirate LeChuck and a lawyer?"), though maybe the script writers based it on that show.
"Fuzzy memories" and "Pink Ascent" are both equally appealing for a title!
20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2020, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too!
User avatar
ShadowLightning
Posts: 728
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 9:53 pm
Location: The magical land of "Tomorrow"
Contact:

Re: Fuzzy Memories

Post by ShadowLightning »

Hi! It's me again! Sorry I couldn't update any sooner. I have a little trouble writing so I couldn't get this done any faster. I know this doesn't look like four weeks worth of effort, but I'm trying my best!
Also, I still couldn't think of a title so let's just go with "Fuzzy Memories". Thanks for the title suggestion Brent! (can I call you that or should I address you by your full username?)
Oh, and comments, suggestions and anything at all is appreciated. Let me know your honest opinion.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Ugh… where… am I?” I groan as I groggily open my eyes. I sit up and see that I’m in an empty room. Wait a minute…

“Oh, right… I’m in the vet.” I smile to myself and lie back down. Clearly, my memory hasn’t gotten any better than it was yesterday.

So… what do I do now? Maybe I should go back to sleep, but I’m not really that sleepy or tired. I feel a little less pain now compared to yesterday, but I don’t think I can stand up just yet. The doctor said that I’ll be better soon. I wonder how long “soon” will be. And even if I do get better, where will I go? I don’t have a family to go back to. Maybe I do and I just don’t remember. I know my memory will come back soon, but what if it doesn’t? What happens to me then?

I let out a frustrated sigh and mutter, “Stupid Amnesia…”

Hang on, something feels… different. It’s quiet. Too quiet. I look over to the music box to find it closed. I remember leaving it open when I fell asleep. Guess one of the nurses turned it off while I was sleeping.

I open the music box and listen to the melody playing. Since this belonged to me, maybe it’ll help me remember stuff. I take out the heart-shaped tag and gaze at it again.

So, this is supposed to be mine, huh?

I place the tag back in the box and set it back to the side of my bed.

Alright, so what do I remember now? Well, I know I have, or had, a family, or at least something that can be considered one. I mean, who else would give me this? If they found me holding on to it, then it must have meant a lot to me. But then, who would they be? The tag doesn’t have anything on it at all, no name, no address, no anything. Okay, so did I have a home before? I’m not sure. Maybe I did, or maybe I didn’t. If that was true, then why was I outside in an alley? And why did I have the box with me? Maybe… I ran away? But why would I run away? I guess I had terrible owners. But if that was true, why did they give me this? And how come I had cuts and bruises when they found me? Did I get in to a fight or something? And what about my name? How am I supposed to remember everything about me? Ugh, so many questions… I hope to dog I get my memory back soon.

All this thinking is making me feel a little lonely.

“I feel so lonely…” I say in a sarcastic tone. “So, so, so, so, SO LONELY!” I chuckle at that last one.

Careful now, someone might hear me and think I’ve gone crazy. I’ve lost my memory. I don’t think I want to lose my sanity as well. But lying here all by myself isn’t really helping. It’d be really great if someone came to visit.

That reminds me, someone came here yesterday. They were the ones who brought me here. Two humans and a cat. They’re names were Mr. and Mrs. Sandwich, and the cat’s name was Grape. I remember her. She promised that they would come back to visit me. Well, not really promise but she said that they might. Maybe they’ll come. Or maybe they won’t. But I guess I can’t blame them if they won’t. I mean, they don’t even know me. Well sure they took the time to bring me here and made sure I was okay, but still… Besides, what would they do while they’re here? I’m not much of a conversationalist and there really isn’t much to talk about, other than maybe helping me remember about myself. But you know, I really wouldn’t mind them coming. Just lying here with someone around is enough for me. I guess I get easily lonely sometimes.

I hear a knock on the door and a nurse enters. “Um, someone’s here to see you.” she says.

Well isn’t this a surprise. “Okay…” I nod.

The nurse opens the door and Grape and a brown dog I am not familiar with enters. The nurse leaves and closes the door behind her.

“Hi.” Grape smiles weakly. “How are you feeling?”

“I feel a little better now.” I actually feel pretty great seeing that someone came here to visit me, but I don’t think she’d want to hear that.

“That’s good to hear. Mom and Dad couldn’t come unfortunately, but they wanted us to check on you.”

Wow, even though I’m a total stranger to them, they still wanted to check on me to see if I was okay. I am so touched.

I turn my attention to the brown dog. “So, um… who’s your friend?”

“Oh, right. This is Peanut.” she introduces to me.

“Hello!” he says. He seems nice.

“Peanut, this is uh…” she stops midsentence and looks at me.

“Hm? Oh, sorry. My memory hasn’t come back yet so I still don’t remember my name.”

“Don’t worry!” Peanut gives me a reassuring pat on the back. “That’s what we’re here for.”

“Huh?”

“Mom and Dad told us to help you out with remembering your memories.” Grape gives me a warm smile. “And to keep you company in case you get lonely.”

“Really? Thanks.” I smile back. I want to say something more than just thanks, but let’s just go with that. “Okay then, where should we start?”

“Well…” Grape thinks for a moment and shrugs. “I don’t really know where to begin.”

“Oh, I heard that hitting the victim on the head really hard might get their memories back!” Peanut suggests.

Say what…?

“So, is that why you brought this with you?” Grape takes out a baseball bat from behind her.

“You’re gonna hit me with that?!” I stare at the bat with wide eyes, full of fear that they might actually do what he just said.

“Well, it’s just a suggestion.” Peanut said, taking the bat from Grape and putting it away.

“But if you don’t mind, we could still-”

“Can we start with something else?” I interrupt Grape, not really wanting to know what she’s about to say. “Something a little less… violent?”

“Okay…”


The hours flew by fast as Peanut and Grape tried to help me remember about myself. They did all sorts of stuff like showing me pictures, asking me questions, etc., etc. Grape even suggested that we use the baseball bat idea again. But I still said no. As much as I want to get my memories back, I don’t think I want to risk getting any more brain damage.

“What about your birthday?” Peanut asks. “Do you remember when you were born?”

“Oh yeah, I remember. I was born on June.” I pause to think for a moment. “Wait, I think it was July. Or was it October? Maybe it was March?”

Peanut sighs. “Okay then, what have we got so far?”

“You still can’t remember your name, and you still can’t remember where you lived either.” Grape says.

I gloomily sigh and sulk back under the bed sheets. “That’s some progress I’ve made.” I say in a sarcastic tone. “We’ve been trying for hours now and still nothing. Maybe we should just give up.”

“Don’t say that. It’s only been a day now. Memories don’t come back that quickly.” Grape assures.

“Yeah. Maybe it won’t come back today, maybe it won’t come back tomorrow, but it will someday!” Peanut says optimistically.

“Okay…” I force a smile.

“Hey, you still don’t remember your name, right?” he asks.

I nod weakly. “Uh, yeah?”

“Well, why don’t we give you a name until you remember your real one?”

Not really his best ideas so far, but okay. “Alright then, what shall my name be for the time being?” I ask in a funny tone.

“How about…” Peanut thinks for a moment. “Berry!”

I give a confused look to Peanut and then to Grape. “…Berry?”

“Are you serious?” Grape says.

“Come on, it’s better than nothing, right?”

“Yeah, but why Berry?”

“Cause his fur kind of reminds me of a straw berry.”

I look at my fur again and blush, suddenly embarrassed at the realization that I resemble a fruit. I never really noticed until now.

“Well, how about it?” Peanut asks.

I don’t really know what to say. Berry kind of sounds…weird. But until I can remember my real name, I don’t really have any other options, other than being called “Mr. Anonymous”. “Okay, we’ll go with that, for now.”

There’s a knock on the door and a nurse enters. “Visiting hours is over.”

Peanut frowns. “Aw, do we really have to go?”

“Sorry, but you have to let the patient rest. Don’t worry, you can come back to visit tomorrow.”

“We’ll be on our way soon.” Grape says.

“Don’t take too long.” the nurse says as she leaves the room.

“Well, looks like we gotta go home now.” Peanut sighs. “Sorry we have to go so soon.”

Soon? I don’t have a watch or anything but I’m pretty sure you two just spent almost the entire day here with me. “That’s okay. You guys came to visit. That’s all that
mattered.” Okay, that sounded kinda weird. I should probably NOT say anything like that ever again.

“We’ll be back tomorrow. Don’t worry.” Peanut gives a comforting smile.

I smile back. “Really? Thanks.” I may not sound like it but I really appreciate what they’re doing for me.

“Oh yeah, one more thing. Mom said I should give this to you.” Grape takes out a notebook and a pen. “She said it might help you out.”

She hands it to me. “A notebook?”

“It’s a diary. Or a journal. Whatever it is you want to call it. If you ever remember anything, anything at all, just write it down here.”

“Thanks.” I give an appreciative smile. “You two have done so much for me. I wish I could do something in return.”

“No need. That’s what friends are for.” Peanut says.

“Friends?” I repeated.

“Yeah, friends. You still remember what that means, right?”

“Mm-hm, I do.” I nod.

“Well then, see you tomorrow.”

“Promise you two will visit again?”

“Promise!” they both say simultaneously.

I chuckle. “Well, see you then.”

“Bye!” Peanut waves as they both leave the room.

As the door closes behind them, I sigh to myself. ‘Alone again…’

I stare at the notebook and pen Grape gave me. “A journal, huh?” I say to myself. I open the notebook and take the pen. “What to write, what to write…” So I’m supposed to write down stuff I remember. Well, I don’t really remember anything right now. But I should write something to start with. I guess I should start with my name. I write down “Berry” on the blank page. “It’s a start…”
Heellooooooooo!! Anyone who wants to talk to me, please do. I get lonely sometimes and I get scared whenever I talk first...
Avatar done by the wonderful kurowolfe!
I also have an FA account now. Sooo... check it out.
User avatar
Silly Zealot
Posts: 1770
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am
Location: The land of the dulce de leche!

Re: Fuzzy Memories

Post by Silly Zealot »

I like the narrative, but this story seems to be moving kinda slowly.
20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2020, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too!
User avatar
Obbl
Smiley McSmiles
Posts: 3231
Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2010 1:56 pm
Location: The Housepets Forum ^^

Re: Fuzzy Memories

Post by Obbl »

Well, there're only two installments so far, Silly :P

Hey Shadow, liking what you've got here. Don't worry about the timing, writing takes as long as it takes. Worrying about it makes you stress, and then it's harder to write. As long as you continue writing it'll work itself out, just update whenever you get something you like.
There's not much to speculate on as of yet, so *waits patiently* :)
Image
User avatar
RandomGeekNamedBrent
laughing maniacally
Posts: 21032
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:42 pm
Location: an invisible, flying volcano over Virginia

Re: Fuzzy Memories

Post by RandomGeekNamedBrent »

sweet, you used my suggestion
and yeah, you can call me Brent, it is my name after all.

As Obbl said, don't worry about taking too long between updates, quality should always come before update frequency in priorities.
Paradigm Shift by me
I do not actually believe any of what I'm saying.
RP character sheets
User avatar
Silly Zealot
Posts: 1770
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am
Location: The land of the dulce de leche!

Re: Fuzzy Memories

Post by Silly Zealot »

You need to add the Expendables storming the place, blowing the whole hospital, and then as the smoke clear, a mysterious figure, surrounded by the Expendables, who are securing Berry's room, sole surviving part of the hospital, appears, and, surprise, surpirse, it's the G-man from the Half-Life videogame series!
G-man: "Wake up, Dr. Freeman. Wake up and... smell the ashes!"
Berry: "My... My name is Freeman?!"
G-man: "Ye- wait a moment!" (takes out some papers from his briefcase, looks at them, confused and puts them back inside the briefcase, embarassed) "Well, um, there seems to have been a small confusion here, ...um..., we apologise for any incomvinience we may have caused."
Sylvester Stallone: "Speak for yourself!"
G-man: "Whatever, pack it up, boys, we got the wrong place!"
20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2020, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too!
User avatar
ShadowLightning
Posts: 728
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 9:53 pm
Location: The magical land of "Tomorrow"
Contact:

Re: Fuzzy Memories

Post by ShadowLightning »

Silly Zealot wrote:You need to add the Expendables storming the place, blowing the whole hospital, and then as the smoke clear, a mysterious figure, surrounded by the Expendables, who are securing Berry's room, sole surviving part of the hospital, appears, and, surprise, surpirse, it's the G-man from the Half-Life videogame series!
G-man: "Wake up, Dr. Freeman. Wake up and... smell the ashes!"
Berry: "My... My name is Freeman?!"
G-man: "Ye- wait a moment!" (takes out some papers from his briefcase, looks at them, confused and puts them back inside the briefcase, embarassed) "Well, um, there seems to have been a small confusion here, ...um..., we apologise for any incomvinience we may have caused."
Sylvester Stallone: "Speak for yourself!"
G-man: "Whatever, pack it up, boys, we got the wrong place!"
That would be one heck of a plot twist. :lol:
Heellooooooooo!! Anyone who wants to talk to me, please do. I get lonely sometimes and I get scared whenever I talk first...
Avatar done by the wonderful kurowolfe!
I also have an FA account now. Sooo... check it out.
User avatar
copper
Puppy Wrangler
Posts: 6362
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Location: Florida

Re: Fuzzy Memories

Post by copper »

Nice story so far! I like the POV you have chosen for it.

So there will be a Berry Sandwich? I still think his name should be Jam. :lol:
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image
User avatar
RandomGeekNamedBrent
laughing maniacally
Posts: 21032
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:42 pm
Location: an invisible, flying volcano over Virginia

Re: Fuzzy Memories

Post by RandomGeekNamedBrent »

that's his middle name, silly. Berry Jam Sandwich
Paradigm Shift by me
I do not actually believe any of what I'm saying.
RP character sheets
User avatar
copper
Puppy Wrangler
Posts: 6362
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Location: Florida

Re: Fuzzy Memories

Post by copper »

RandomGeekNamedBrent wrote:that's his middle name, silly. Berry Jam Sandwich
Should be his first so the inevitable shippers can name it Grape Jam! :lol:

Also, Jam fits better with Peanut and Grape's names.
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image
User avatar
Silly Zealot
Posts: 1770
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am
Location: The land of the dulce de leche!

Re: Fuzzy Memories

Post by Silly Zealot »

Here I come, shipping a wideload of jamnut sandwiches. (JK!)
20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2020, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too!
User avatar
RandomGeekNamedBrent
laughing maniacally
Posts: 21032
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:42 pm
Location: an invisible, flying volcano over Virginia

Re: Fuzzy Memories

Post by RandomGeekNamedBrent »

copper wrote:
RandomGeekNamedBrent wrote:that's his middle name, silly. Berry Jam Sandwich
Should be his first so the inevitable shippers can name it Grape Jam! :lol:

Also, Jam fits better with Peanut and Grape's names.
you mean Berry Jam doesn't fit with Grape Jelly or Peanut Butter?
Paradigm Shift by me
I do not actually believe any of what I'm saying.
RP character sheets
User avatar
ShadowLightning
Posts: 728
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 9:53 pm
Location: The magical land of "Tomorrow"
Contact:

Re: Fuzzy Memories

Post by ShadowLightning »

Berry Jam sounds like a good name. :lol:
copper wrote: Should be his first so the inevitable shippers can name it Grape Jam! :lol:
Already? :shock: But there's only been like two chapters...
Heellooooooooo!! Anyone who wants to talk to me, please do. I get lonely sometimes and I get scared whenever I talk first...
Avatar done by the wonderful kurowolfe!
I also have an FA account now. Sooo... check it out.
User avatar
Silly Zealot
Posts: 1770
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am
Location: The land of the dulce de leche!

Re: Fuzzy Memories

Post by Silly Zealot »

ShadowLightning wrote:Berry Jam sounds like a good name. :lol:
copper wrote: Should be his first so the inevitable shippers can name it Grape Jam! :lol:
Already? :shock: But there's only been like two chapters...
No! I want berrynut butter sandwiches! :evil:
20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2020, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too!
User avatar
copper
Puppy Wrangler
Posts: 6362
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Location: Florida

Re: Fuzzy Memories

Post by copper »

ShadowLightning wrote:Berry Jam sounds like a good name. :lol:
copper wrote: Should be his first so the inevitable shippers can name it Grape Jam! :lol:
Already? :shock: But there's only been like two chapters...

Dude, you have no idea.... :|
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image
User avatar
ShadowLightning
Posts: 728
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 9:53 pm
Location: The magical land of "Tomorrow"
Contact:

Re: Fuzzy Memories

Post by ShadowLightning »

Hello! It is I! ShadowLightning! Here to bring forth the next chapter of my little fanfiction! :D
Right, right... So anyways, I kinda maybe rushed it a little here since my computer has been kind of disfunctional for the past week. Also because there is a freaking heat wave where I am right now. Oh, and I decided to use Berry Jam as his whole name (or pseudo name) cause I like it. As always, comments, suggestions and anything at all is appreciated. Let me know your honest opinion. Just point out anything that's wrong and I'll try to fix it. Emphasis on "try"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Diary Journal,

I know I’m only supposed to write stuff about my memories here. But I kinda sort of feel like I should start treating this like an actual diary journal and not just a notebook filled with random stuff that I remember that I’m not even sure are true. Besides, it’s not like anyone’s gonna read this, right?
It’s been almost a week now since I’ve been here in the vet and I’ve gotten a lot better. At least, I think so since the doctors removed the long tube-y thingy attached to my wrist. I’ve always wondered what that was for. Oh well. Anyways, Peanut and Grape have been visiting me every day. They come by to keep me company and talk about stuff that’s been going on, though I haven’t been really missing much during my time here. The two of them always find a way to cheer me up whenever I get lonely. It’s like what Peanut said, “That’s what friends are for.” and I guess, that makes me their friend. Despite me not knowing much about them, and them not knowing much about me, we still talk to each other like we already do.

Now, about my memory, I guess you could say that it’s gotten… better. I don’t remember everything, yet, but I get “fragments”. Little bits and pieces of my memories. Like my family, and my home. I even remember how much I love playing video games (not really that important but I might as well write it down too!). Problem is, they’re not complete. I mean, I remember my family. I remember their faces in my head but, it’s all just blurry. I can’t remember their names, or where they are. Whenever I try to remember anything further, it just gets all hazy.

Stuff I remember (better write them all down again just in case :3)

• I love eating cookies, cupcakes and every other sweet and pastry you can think of.
• I am short. Unfortunately T^T
• I used to be a crazy rabid fan of Pridelands. Or maybe I still am ;)
• I used to play an MMORPG. Which game was it again?
• I get easily lonely. But I kind of get used to it. Kind of.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Does he really have to?”

“It’s been a week already. We don’t really have any other choice.”

I stop writing as I overhear a conversation outside. I recognize those voices.

“But can’t he stay a little longer?” That sounds like Mr. Sandwich.

“Well, he’s already fully recovered but, I suppose he can stay for one more night.” That sounds like one of the doctors. “But if his owners don’t come to pick him up by
then, he’s going to have stay in the pound.”

Oh my dog, are they talking about… me?

“What?! You can’t do that! His memory’s not back yet!” Another familiar voice. That must be Peanut.

“I’m sorry but there’s nothing much we can do now. Excuse me, I have to go somewhere.”

“This isn’t fair! He can’t go to the pound!” And that sounds like Grape.

“Well, there’s nothing else we can do.”

“Can we go inside now?”

“Okay. I’ll come back to pick you two up by the end of the day.”

“Thanks Dad.”

Oh crud! I quickly hide my journal under my pillow as the door opens. Peanut and Grape enter, both of them with smiles on their faces.

“Hey Berry!” Peanut says. “How are you feeling?”

“Just fine.” I lie. I just overheard what you two were talking about, how do you think I’m feeling?

“Good to know.” Grape says.

They’re both smiling but, I know they’re just faking it. Behind those happy faces are sad ones. I can tell. They’re just trying not to make me sad too. Well, it’s not working.

“So… what do you wanna do today?” Grape asks.

“I don’t know…” I say in a quiet saddened voice.

“You sure you’re okay?” Peanut asks in a concerned tone.

I stay silent and ignored the question. No, I’m not okay. After today, I’m gonna get sent somewhere else, all because I couldn’t remember my owners. Why haven’t they come for me? Don’t they know that I’m here? Do they even know what happened to me?

“You… overheard us, didn’t you?” Grape says. I guess she noticed. Well, I’m not doing a really good job in hiding it either.

I nod weakly. “I’m… I’m gonna get sent to the pound, right?”

“Yeah…” she acknowledges softly.

“Don’t worry! You’re not going anywhere today!” Peanut exclaims, trying hard not to sound too sad. “You only have until tomorrow, but your memory’s gonna come back by then! I’m sure of it!”

I admire his optimism, even though he doesn’t sound too sure. But still… what if it doesn’t? I’ll be sent to the pound, but it’s better than staying in the streets, right? At least then I’ll have a place to stay. Even though it’s not really a place I can call home, at least I’ll get taken care of. That’s better than nothing, right?

“So… what if I don’t remember? What if…?”

“That’s not gonna happen!” Peanut reacts.

“I know but… what if it does? What happens to me then?”

He doesn’t say anything back and stays silent.

Maybe being in the pound wouldn’t be so bad. I’ll have food, water and shelter. But then… I’ll be alone again.

I feel my eyes begin to water.

No… Not again! I don’t wanna be alone again! I hate being alone! I just hate it! Wandering through the streets all by myself. Without anyone to care for me, without anyone to be there for me. To sit all by myself, without anyone to comfort me. All I had was myself. No one else was there for me. Not even my own family was there. Why… why did they leave me… why did they leave me like this…? I hate being alone. I HATE IT! I’m not gonna go down that road again! Not again!

I feel a tear run down my cheek but I quickly wipe it off. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry! Not in front of Peanut and Grape. They’re sad enough with them knowing what’s gonna happen to me. Don’t give them another reason why they should be any sadder. I wipe the tears off my eyes and compose myself.

“Sorry…” is all I can say. “I shouldn’t have brought it up…”

“Don’t be. There’s nothing to be sorry for.” Grape gives me a reassuring smile. “Even if it comes to that, we’ll come by to visit. Like we always do now.”

“Really?”

Grape nods.

“That’s it!” Peanut says out loud.

“What’s it?”

“You can come live with us!”



I’m guessing this is another one of his brilliant ideas.

“Peanut, that sounds like a-”

“Great idea! I know!” Peanut cuts Grape mid-sentence. “I mean, we may not be your real family, but we can be until you remember your real on! Or until your real
parents come to find you.”

“Are you sure mom and dad will be okay with that?”

“Of course! We have room for one more in the family, right?” Peanut turns to me. “Well Berry, what do you think?”

What do I think? I don’t know what to say. There isn’t really a reason for me to say no. They’ve taken care of me for this long. I guess you could say I’m already like a
brother to them now. But still, I don’t know…

“You… you really won’t mind?” I ask hesitantly.

“Why would we?” Grape says. “Berry, you’re our friend. And friends look out for each other, no matter what happens.”

“So? What do you say?” Peanut asks again.

Without any further hesitation, I nod happily. “Okay. I’ll stay with you guys.”

“Yes! Now you don’t have to go anywhere! You’ll be with us!” Peanut says happily. I’ve never seen him this overjoyed before.

“Yeah, all that’s left now is to ask mom and dad.” Grape says.

“Oh come on, there’s no way they’ll say no.” Peanut says confidently.

“You think so?”

“Of course! Just think about it. Peanut Butter Sandwich, Grape Jelly Sandwich, and now…” he pauses for effect. “Berry Jam Sandwich!”

“Berry… Jam?” I repeat. “Seriously?”

“Why? It fits you.”

“So is this theme naming like part of the family or something?” I ask Grape.

“Yup. And now you’re part of it!” she laughs.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Diary Journal,

Good news! Peanut and Grape was able convince their parents to adopt me! Yay! But I don’t get to leave till tomorrow cause of all the paperwork and stuff. But at least now I don’t have to go back to the streets! Or stay in the pound! Cause I got a new family now! At least, until I can remember mine, or until they can find me. But either way, I don’t have to be alone anymore. Hurray me!
Heellooooooooo!! Anyone who wants to talk to me, please do. I get lonely sometimes and I get scared whenever I talk first...
Avatar done by the wonderful kurowolfe!
I also have an FA account now. Sooo... check it out.
User avatar
copper
Puppy Wrangler
Posts: 6362
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Location: Florida

Re: Fuzzy Memories

Post by copper »

Bino will not be happy with a new Sandwich...

Well, at least he has a new home! Happy moments right now. I wonder where he will stay? Bunk up with Peanut maybe?
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image
User avatar
Silly Zealot
Posts: 1770
Joined: Mon Mar 18, 2013 2:48 am
Location: The land of the dulce de leche!

Re: Fuzzy Memories

Post by Silly Zealot »

If I ever write a dairy, It'd be meant for somedone else to read it. Why would someone ever write something if they don't want anyone to know about it?
"I felt a tear run down my cheek (...)" Do dogs even have cheeks? It seems strange.
20th century fox? Given that this is the year 2020, that fox must be dead by now. Sadface! : (

I'm telling you, hyenas ARE canines too!
User avatar
ShadowLightning
Posts: 728
Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 9:53 pm
Location: The magical land of "Tomorrow"
Contact:

Re: Fuzzy Memories

Post by ShadowLightning »

Silly Zealot wrote: "I felt a tear run down my cheek (...)" Do dogs even have cheeks? It seems strange.
I thought they did. Or was that the muzzle? I'm not sure.
Heellooooooooo!! Anyone who wants to talk to me, please do. I get lonely sometimes and I get scared whenever I talk first...
Avatar done by the wonderful kurowolfe!
I also have an FA account now. Sooo... check it out.
User avatar
Obbl
Smiley McSmiles
Posts: 3231
Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2010 1:56 pm
Location: The Housepets Forum ^^

Re: Fuzzy Memories

Post by Obbl »

I say they have cheeks. :D
Image
Locked