I'm buying amazon kindles and setting photoshopped zombie alpacas as wallpapers, then commanding my dog to attack them and to tear the kindles apart until I can't even see a single integrated circuit whole. I need to have him trained for the impending zombie alpacalypse.

No proof against something happening next month, only proof against every postulated theory. For all we know, it could be zombie alpacas.

But he'll go after the zombie alpacas still. What will you do about the other zombies?

Wait... What do you mean "other zombies"?

The alpaca's will bite other animals eventually, so you will run into zombie horses, sheep, cows, pigs, and other petting zoo or farm zombies.

But those zombie animals would quickly reject the contagion and dissolve into puddles of hydrogen which will then evaporate because hydrogen does not remain liquid while under normal temperatures.

It's only simple chemistry.

I see, but wouldn't that cause water to become undrinkable if these puddles come into contact with it. The water could react to create contaminated OH- and H3O+ ions. Then it could easily follow the reverse reaction to turn into contaminated Dihydrogen Monoxide!

No need to worry, the puddles won't have time to reach water since they evaporate so quickly. Our biggest concerns would have to be if the hydrogen fills our atmosphere, increasing flammability and making it harder to breath, also if cobalt, carbon and oxygen become CoCO.

You know how flamable cobalt,Carbon and oxygens are called? Hot CoCO

That was painfully hilarious, now excuse me while I search for my left tonsil.

Do I deserve a gold badge? Au yeahhhh

I dare say nitrogen oxide.

Nitrous oxide you mean?

That is a definite maybe.

well seeing as the Mayans didn't have leap years we've already passed the date that their calendar ends. So I think we're good.

As far as zombie outbreaks go I'm just hoping for the quirky meta-humor type of apocalypse. If that's the case I can finally put my film studies and affinity for zombie movies to practical use!

Or we can go to a logical route and relize that zombies are basically humans without everything keeping us alive(no self preservation skils come to mind, they're basically DESIGNED to be animal snacks), and they're also basically big bags of rotting meat, and would decompose before anything serious would happen.

While that's true you'd have to find a secure location with a sustainalbe food/water source to allow you to wait long enough for the zombies to decompose to the point where they couldn't threaten you.

Or you could stay in your house (they aren't very smart) and let all the hungry animals in town sovle the problem.

Yep, that's pretty much the best course of action. However, in any zombie apocalypse scenario there's already something out of the ordinary that makes zombies different from corpses. Who says it can't also make them stronger/smarter?

I find it frightening how many people out there actually believe the 2012 end of the world thing.

hey at least on Dec 22 you can say "in your Face!" to everyone who believed that.

There has to be a way to make money off of irresponsible decisions done with the idea that the world is going to end. Hmm...

Well, the "stronger" thing is debatable, as a human never really does utilize their full capacity for strength while alive due to having pain receptors that would force them to stop at a certain point. Since they would no longer feel pain as zombies, they could technically push themselves to their absolute limit, which would make them stronger than the average human. However, this would also mean that they'd likely be tearing muscles left and right and would make their limbs completely useless rather quickly if it came to busting down doors, walls, etc.

But I really don't know if there's even an argument that could be made that they'd be smarter than the average human as well. I mean, I've heard that humans tend to utilize only a small portion of their brain, so there's certainly room for improvement, but I don't see any reason why becoming a walking corpse would help them improve in that area.

Become a lawyer. Or a contractor who fixes all of the damage.

Make a bet with a LARGE number of people: 2012 kills or no

bet no, and if we live, you should get AT LEAST a decent buck.

But at the same time, are zombies breathing? Your brain needs oxygen to survive, and so does everything else (muscles, heart, etc), but without the brain (the control system ofthe body), it doesn't matter.

So if they're breathing, which they'd have to in order to even have movement, they would be considered alive and not the walking dead. Therefore, if the pop culture portrayals of zombie being murderous and evil are accurate, a zombie is merely a dark being that exists without the principals of learned behavior, rightousness, or humanity.

Your argument is invalid.

That actually has a lot more potential story-wise than the traditional re-animated corpse thing. (28 days later "rage zombies" come to mind but it's still a relatively untapped source of ideas.)

I never said smarter than a human, just smarter than a shambling corpse.

As for the strength thing, the whole thing about exerting itself with no regard for survival is pretty much perfect for zombie fiction. This makes them fairly fragile and yet still deadly.

Shouldn't they be kind of rotting? I'm not saying they all have to do that but someone pointed out to me that zombies are the walking dead, they would be a but decayed, but oh well, its fiction.

In my mind, they are. They don't last too long. That's why they need to make new zombies.

Okay, I'm going to be honest: you people probably know more about zombies than the creators!!

I love zombie series. from Resident Evil to The Walking Dead. But here's what i like about Zombies in general ~ Massive swarm of durable human beings. You don't see durability in zombie movies these days because the theory of brain damage seems to be a commonly good belief.

28 days later pretty much gave the best example of zombies/infectees when they aren't killing people for long periods. But then again, I always thought of the same thing as well about Zombies in general. They only stay undead for so long and then die off. As for their strength, I thought of human animals with the sense to survive. Makes it creepy if you thought of fear as a different driving mechanic for zombie movies rather than survival ,however.

Zombie problem? Get some plants.

Plain and simple.

PEASHOOTERS!!!

READY!!!!

AIM!!!!!

FIRE!!!!!!

No don't shoot Pea! He's awesome!

...can you give me a list of the mods my shooter CAN shoot

cuz if not...DISSSHOOTERS!

READY!!

AIM!!!

FIRE!!!!

Hey Sleet, Pea called. He wants his lame joke back.

impossible, Pea never had any lame jokes

I vote this post of the year.

I'm still laughing.