"Now that you mention it I think I'm bleeding inside my chest." -Dave Chapelle (as rick james)

"Gosh darn. I swore to my great-Grandma on her deathbed I'd never eat curry on odd Thursdays."
Akira from school rumble giving a (fake) reason why she couldn't eat curry to set her friend up on a date.

"You will face the Sea of Darkness and all therein that may be explored."
- L'aldilà

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."-Nietzche

"I'm going to stand outside. So if anyone asks, I am outstanding," - Friend of mine

"dear rick, hello" -Sinder
"Tell my wife I said, hello." -The Neutral President

"He's got an arm off!"-Shaun

"Hello, my name is Tony Starch, also known as Ironing Man, with the power to remove any wrinkle." - Ryan Higa, Avengerz

"Life is as light as a feather, duty is as heavy as a mountain."
- Japanese proverb

"The sleep of reason gives birth to monsters."
-Goya

"Did you just kick her? No, I just pushed her... with my foot."

"I'm probably going to be playing, and playing, and playing. Until I lose my job and try to find an available one bedroom box on the street with internet access to play some more." -Endling on the topic of Guild Wars 2

"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly." - Winston Churchill

All of the following are from Winston Churchill
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.

Interviewer: What are your motivations for your everyday life?
Jasper Dolphin:I kinda wake up and say, "whose life can I naughty language up today by doing some very ignorant naughty languagestuff"

"Bernard, float over here so I can punch you." -Hoagie, Maniac Mansion: Day of the Tentacle

"Dude, they are the same thing, except they are totally different." -A guy in one of my classes.

"It's all about the game and how you play it
All about control and if you can take it
All about your debt and if you can pay it
It's all about pain and who's gonna make it"-Motörhead

"Mesmerize the simple minded
Propaganda leaves us blinded"-System of a Down

"Great words wont cover ugly actions
Good frames wont save bad paintings" - Refused (band)

"People say I am ruthless. I am not ruthless. And if I find the man who is calling me ruthless, I shall destroy him." - Robert F. Kennedy

"I don't know how you all see it, but when it comes to the children, Wu-Tang is for the children,We teach the children. Puffy is good, but Wu-Tang is the best."-ODB

"This is the lil' wayne part, lemme put on my lil' wayne voice."-Jerrod

"You fell out of the sky I ain't listenin to nothin you say."-Don Vito

"Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another song whisper back."
"Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet"
-Plato(427BC - 347BC)

"We're in love. We just want to be together. What's wrong with that?"
-Suzy(Moonrise Kingdom)

“Every one of us is losing something precious to us. Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back again. That’s part of what it means to be alive.”
-Haruki Murakami,Kafka on the Shore

"You've got red on you" -Ed.

Jeremy from Code Lyoko:
Transfer Ulrich, transfer Odd, transfer Yumi, transfer Aelita.
Scanner Ulrich, scanner Odd, scanner Yumi, scanner Aelita.
*click* *beep*
Virtualization.
*wooosh*

"I am a two man team of one" -Me

Flight Sergent: Where is the Kid? No man Gets Left Behind!

"You're constant harassment of the female gender makes me sick." - Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

"Who I'm is?" -T.I.

"I am condemned to be free."-Jean-paul Sartre

"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it." - Bill Cosby

"aw man I shot Marvin in the face"-Vincent Vega

"Better late than never, but never late is better." - Drake

"Cause of accident: Lack of adhesive ducks." - Sheldon Cooper

“It ain’t got nothing to do with lyrics. I ain’t got no lyrics.”- Waka Flocka Flame

"Who would have thought that bacon and Twinkies were the secret?"
Some fic I found on FIM fiction.

"A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in."

-Greek proverb

"That which does not kill you will make you wish it did."

"Boo. I am a high-priced Washington lobbyist peddling influence. Who wants candy?" - Dale Gribble, King of the Hill

Let's Play Minecraft Episode 21
Gavin: "Do you just keep starving to death?"
Jack:"Yeah."
G: "Why?"
J: "Eh. Cause food's stupid."

-"Well I play requests, ya know."
-"Yeah? How 'bout 'Holiday in Cambodia' by the Dead Kennedys?"
-'Are the Kennedys dead? What a bummer..."

- From the movie Dudes (1987)

"You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you. "-Silent Bob

"The Ice Age is no longer politically correct, it is now 'The Era in Which The Temperature was Lower than Average, and with ice. For now on, this is the PC term man, also, PC has become un PC, so it is now 'un offensive to those in our immediate company'."-me making fun of political correctness.

"Now you take a nap."
"You, silly!"
"Why do they call it a hacksaw anyway?"

- Pinkemina Dianne, Cupcakes