"Gentlemen, you can't fight here! This is the war room!" - from Dr. Strangelove

"Don't worry, we'll get it done, or die trying. Or try dying...or do some tye-dyeing!" - Yakko Warner (anybody remember this awesome cartoon?)

“Sometimes the most positive thing you can be in a boring society is absolutely negative.”-Johnny Rotten

I saw that. - God

Where in the bible does God say that?

He posted it on deviantArt.

Alan: So, what happened at school?

Jake: Nothin'.

Alan: Really? So you just sit there and stare at the wall all day?

Jake: That's where the clock is.

From Two and a Half Men

"A life without vices is a life unfulfilled."-My typical response to people who question my lifestyle choices

"Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth."-Lillian Hellman

"Whit is educated insolence."
-Aristotle

"Mix a little foolishness with your prudence. It's good to be silly at the right moment."
-Horace

“Sometimes I feel like I have ruined comics for myself forever. Sometimes I will look at a normal comic, and think to myself, what the **** are all these ******* panels doing on the same ******* page? SPREAD EM OUT DUDE! True story. It is my fond hope that I have ruined, or will ruin, comics for everyone else too. Scott McCloud wrote what I am sure is a pretty good book called Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art. One day I hope to write a book called Ruining Comics: Forever. It will be a 1000 page book, and every page will simply be a photograph of my face.” -Andrew Hussie

”Dude, it's righty-tighty, lefty-loosey, not lefty-tighty mess it up because you're a loser.” - Rigby

Me and my friend Nick listing to Eleanor Rigby when this happened,
"Eleanor Rigby, picks up the rice in the church where the wedding has been."
When my friend Nick says this to me,
"Wait, do they mean by like, hand? Did they have the vacuum cleaner yet? Or like, a freaking broom?"

"REPORTER LADY"
"Y U NO LEAVE MICHAEL PHELPS ALONE?!?"

I don't know who say it, but I'm sure someone did.

"Seth I'm going to sneak into your room and steal your bottle of wine and beat the crud out of you and kill you"-A friend of mine
"Remeber to mosh responsibly."- My dad

”This statement is false.” - Mandy, Grim Adventures

"I am Sutekh the Destroyer. Where I tread I leave nothing but dust and darkness."

Sutekh, Doctor Who

"WHAT!?!?"-Lil' Jon

"Goodnight everybody!" - Yakko Warner

"Faboo" - Wakko Warner

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." - Groucho Marx

“Whoever lends his books to people is crazy. And whoever gives back what he borrows is even crazier than him.” - Unknown

Hopefully my post doesn't get deleted this time.

"Friendship's dumb! If I only hung out with people I liked, I'd be the loneliest person on the planet." - Guy

”You can't touch music, but music can touch you.” - Mordecai, Regular Show

Fido the Squirrel: Does that-does that rock over there kinda look like The Rock to you?
Pigeon: The what?
F: The-the rock over there. Doesn't that rock... look like The Rock?
P: ...I don't know what you're trying-
F: The Rock! 'Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?'
P: ...Oh! Dwayne Johnson.
F: ...I don't know who that is.
- Nature Town

"This guy are sick." - Aerith, Final Fantasy VII

monkey island
Guybrush: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Carpenter: A woodchuck would chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck can’t chuck wood.
Guybrush: But if a woodchuck could chuck and would chuck some amount of wood, what amount of wood would a woodchuck chuck?
Carpenter: Even if a woodchuck could chuck wood and even if a woodchuck would chuck wood, should a woodchuck chuck wood?
Guybrush: A woodchuck should chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, as long as a woodchuck would chuck wood.
Carpenter: Oh shut up.

Me rambling on to a friend of mine named Jason.
Me, "Jason, you want to know why kids have mullets? Its so we can start the official child fighting league. No, its not two kids who throw down, its the PARENTS who do. See, the mullet is so the parent can have an easier time dragging them into the arena, than they grab the kids by the arms and hit the other parent with them."

Jason, "Evan, be quiet."

These are three of my favorite quotes, and you can quote me on that.

"In one case out of a hundred, a point is excessively discussed because it is obscure; in the ninety-nine remaining it is obscure because it is excessively discussed." - Edgar Allan Poe

"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." Edgar Allan Poe

And my personal favorite:
"I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it." Edgar Allan Poe

"Your girlfriend look like my mom!"-Tyler the Creator

"Get a load of this!!!" - Dr. Eggman

"NO WAY!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!!!" - same as above

"I informed you thusly, I so informed you thusly." - Sheldon Cooper

"Life's too short to rush"

"I'm a 40 ounce casualty but it's the way I wanna be"- Line from 40 0z. casualty by The Casualties

(in response to speculation that he had been bitten by a King cobra)
"yes but after five days of agonizing pain, the cobra died." - Booker in The Expendables 2 as played by Chuck Norris.

I like it because it's basically Chuck Norris telling a Chuck Norris joke.

"People of Sheldonopolis, this is your mayor speaking, please, follow me. If the children can't run leave them behind.". - Sheldon Cooper

"Friends will keep your secrets. Best friends say they will keep them but tell everyone." - A friend of a friend of mine.

"Seeking happiness is a straight way to misery." - English proverb
"If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody." - Chinese proverb

"Ay girl what's yo tumblr?"

"Chicks dig book worms." - English teacher.

No one spoke. There was no need. The threat of the Eldrazi presented a simple choice: lay down your weapons and die for nothing, or hold them fast and die for something.
- Flavor text for Time of Heroes (MtG)

There are few problems that can't be solved by putting a hole in the world.
- Flavor text for Lux Cannon

"Take the bridge, men Victory Victory is ou— Retreat! RETREAT!"
- Flavor text for Killer Instinct

"It's the game of life. Do I win or do I lose? One day they're gonna shut the game down. I gotta have as much fun and go around the board as many times as I can before it's my turn to leave."-Tupac

"So we live our digital lives on multiple screens and we forget that the blood of the workers grease the machines."-Otep Shamaya

"There is no catharsis. I gain no deeper knowledge about myself, no new understanding can be extracted from my telling. There has been no reason for me to tell you any of this. This confession has meant nothing….” -Bret Easton Ellis

"Goodbye may seem forever. Farewell its like the end. But in my heart's a memory, and there you'll always be." - Widow Tweed

"There's nothing like destruction for creating a warm sense of camaraderie" - from Firmin: The adventures of a Metropolitan Lowlife

"I'm going to hurt my brother badly" - Dot Warner

"I'd rather have Lucas dissapoint me in the order he intended" - Sheldon Cooper

"I am vengeance....I am the night....I...AM...BATMAN!!!" - Kevin Kline

"From the stars we come, to the stars we go, life is but a journey into the unkown" - from The City of Dreaming Books

Lisa - "DAD, Bart and I just did something horrible"
Homer - "Did you wreck the car?"
B/L - "No"
Homer - "Did you raise the dead?"
B/L - "Yes"
Homer - "But the car's ok?"
B/L - "Uhuh"
Homer - "Good"