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Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic) 
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Post Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
Ponies V.S. Pets!
By Daemon

(Ponies V.S. Pets :Information) [http://www.housepetscomic.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=2126&p=383230#p383230]

Prologue: Wait What?

The sun was rising, and the crowd was cheering, the crowd glowed with exictement.

"Welcome my friends to Ponies V.S. Pets! In this game, we send your favorite characters from Housepets or My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic into a dangerous jungle, where they must fight each other to survive! We do not allow fan characters!" The announcer bellowed, causing the crowd to cheer even more.

"So, now lets bring out the fan favorites of Housepets: Peanut, Grape, King, and Bino!" The floor opened and a platform rose up to reveal the four animals, each with a different comment.

"A game! Awesome, I love playing games!" Peanut said with a smile.
"I'll will kill you all." Grape growled, her claws sliding out.
"I've lost my mind, I really have." King said, slapping himself.
"I'll win, just like always!" Bino vowed, acting smug.

The announcer rolled his eyes, and began bellowing once more.

"And the fan favorites of MLP, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Spike, and Luna!" He bellowed, watching another platform rise, revealing the ponies on it. "Don't worry, we've limited Luna's magic, it'll be fair.

"Games? I better make a game plan!" Twilight Sparkle said, writing down on a pad
"Hah! I'll beat this game in 10 seconds flat!" Rainbow Dash said, smirking.
"Really? Me? People like me?" Spike and Luna both said, smile's on their faces.

"And now everyone and everypony, prepare to enter the jungle!" The announcer bellowed, and he pressed a big red button.

"Everyone hold on to your seats, it's time for PONIES V.S. PETS!" He yelled, as the crowd cheered as the contestants teleported.
----------

"AHHHHH!" Peanut screamed as fell through the air. He hit the ground head first.
"Ow!" Peanut said, as he got up.
"Where am I? Is this the jungle they were talking about?" Peanut asked. He then twitched his ears.
"What's that noise?" He looked up as a certain purple dragon crashed into him. Peanut's poor brain was able to make one last thought before he collapsed.: This game isn't fun!

-------------------

"Rawrn!" Grape screamed as water flood into her mouth as her eyes opened underwater. She began swimming upwards, trying to breathe. She reached the surface, rasping for air. She then swam towards the shore, and climbed out of the water. She hissed. I will kill that announcer. She thought. Her ears then twitched as she heard someone approach.

"So I guess we are enemies huh?" Twilight Sparkle said, staring at the cat. Just like Grape, she was soaking wet. Grape narrowed her eyes.

"I guess....so what do we do?" Grape said, confused. Twilight Sparkle gained a confused look too.

"They never did tell us how to win did they?" Sparkle stated, pacing.
"So why don't we work together, for now, until things reveal themselves?" Sparkle proposed, and Grape then smiled.

"Sure thing." Grape nodded, then she frowned.

"So... where do we go?"
-------------
"Well, It's official, I have lost my mind... completely." King said, staring at the equally interested Luna.
"Well I have never met a talking dog before, so I must be in the same boat." Luna commented. King just twitched.
"Pete I could deal with, even intergalatic aliens wanting a show I could deal with, but talking ponies with horns and wings? I can't deal with it." King said, his ears twitching erratically. Luna sighed.

"Look, it's a game right? So once the game ends, we all go home. So we should just beat the game, hmm?" Luna consoled King.

"Beat the game huh? Fine, if it means getting out of this jungle, sure." King said, slowly getting up.
"What your name anyways, pony?" King asked, curious. Luna then smiled.
"My name is Luna. What's yours?" King then sighed and slightly grinned.

"King. The names King." He said.
---------------
Well, that's all we can show you for now! Now what happened to Bino and Rainbow Dash? Will they ever learn the true reason why they were all sent here? Will Peanut need brain surgery? Find out in the next PONIES V.S. PETS!

--------------------
FAN ART
Daemon:
Happy Peanut, :
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Respectful Slenderman:
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Last edited by Daemon on Wed Jul 25, 2012 12:14 am, edited 4 times in total.



Thu Jul 19, 2012 9:58 am
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
A very...
Interesting concept.

I'm interested in what's going to happen in the next part.

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Thu Jul 19, 2012 10:04 am
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
what about spike i would like to see spike against bino!
or the ferrets.
lol


Thu Jul 19, 2012 2:53 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
despite the fact that I never, ever followed one single episode of MLP, I find this crossover intriguing and a very refreshing change of pace from you.
Nicely done!

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Thu Jul 19, 2012 3:25 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
(If anyone wants to know, I was going to put Pinkie in until a young woman with green eyes came and told me if I did so, all of reality would crumble. Also thanks Val, I'm trying to keep all the personalities, especially Peanut's correct.)

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Thu Jul 19, 2012 9:49 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
Pinkie Pie vs Tarot.
That would be awesome.

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Thu Jul 19, 2012 10:07 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
JeffCvt wrote:
Pinkie Pie vs Tarot.
That would be awesome.


(The battle would be so chaotic the multiverse would implode. Do you want that?)

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Fri Jul 20, 2012 1:26 am
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
I could think of a few match-ups without the limit of these eight characters.
Discord vs. Pete
Fluttershy vs. Sabrina (because they both save small animals)
Big Mac vs. Spike (strong but kind)
Tarot vs. Pinkie's already been said.
Bino vs. The Great and Powerful Trixie.
Max vs. Rainbow Dash in a prank contest.
Rarity vs. Duchess
Cutie Mark Crusaders vs. the Milton Ferrets

but with these limits I can see:
Rainbow Dash vs. Bino to see which one is more full of themselves.
Twilight vs. Peanut in a reading contest.

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Fri Jul 20, 2012 1:55 am
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
RandomGeekNamedBrent wrote:
Twilight vs. Peanut in a reading contest.

Peanut would win. I don't know about MLP, but I'm fairly certain Twilight is just studious, which isn't enough to allow her to read a novel in less than fifteen minutes.


Fri Jul 20, 2012 11:49 am
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
Before the series started, all Twilight did was basically read and study. She even lived in a library. She still lives in a library.

I won't argue that she isn't studious, and there hasn't been anything to really suggest that she has the reading speed that Peanut, but having watched the show, I feel that she would give him a run for his money.

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Fri Jul 20, 2012 11:58 am
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
Ponies V.S. Pets!


Chapter 1: The Game. You just lost it.

Announcer: "Hey it's your favorite announcer here to begin the next episode of PONIES V.S. PETS!"
The Announcer grinned, a smile on his face. The crowd began cheering in happiness.

Announcer: Now, in a few minutes all the characters except for Bino and Dash will be walking towards the center of the jungle? How do we know? When we abducted them we put microchips in their brains. Anyways, once they are at the center, we will finally explain the game!" The Announcer grinned, but then groaned with the crowd as they realized what just happened.

Announcer: "I apologize for causing anyone or anypony to lose the game." The Announcer said, his face seemingly sheepish even though hidden in the darkness of his control both.

"And if you are wondering where Bino and Dash went...well don't worry, you might find out." The Announcer said evilly in the camera.

"Now lets watch PONIES V.S. PETS!" The Announcer yelled, causing the crowd to roar with glee.
--------------------------
"Why did you hit me?" Peanut was whining towards Spike. The purple dragon sighed. After he had accidently fell on Peanut, after Peanut regained his mind, they introduced themselves. And now they were walking in the forest, following big, pointy, red arrowed signs pointing them in one direction.
"I fell on you by accident." Spike said, his annoyance growing. This dog was so-
"Okay then." Peanut said, straightened up, and began walking. Spike visibly relaxed.
At least this...Peanut listens well. Nopony ever listens to me. Spike thought, walking slowly throughout the forest. Peanut also calmly walked. Silence reigned supreme until-

"I'm sorry but I can't deal with not talking." Peanut admitted, gaining a sheepish grin. Spike just groaned. At least he tried. Spike thought dryly.
----------------------
Grape and Twilight Sparkle were staring at the sign, both of them rolling their eyes.

"I thought this was a survival thing? This isn't part of the ecosystem!" Twilight said, her eyes narrowing. Grape just shrugged.

"It's the aliens, remember? Aliens that think dogs like Bino and King are 'fan favorites'." Grape said to Twilight.

"Perhaps they just don't understand how Reality T.V. works." Grape completed her idea. Twilight just shivered.

"Lets just follow the signs. We are almost to wherever the signs point to I think." She said, running ahead. Grape gained a confused look.

"What's up with the pony? I can't believe I said that out loud." Grape in a deadpan tone. She then ran after her wayward pony.
--------------------
"It seems these signs lead to... a speaker phone?" King said in disbelief. Luna just shrugged. Both had decided to run faster after discovering the signs and got there in a nick of time. King then started looking around the tree in which the speaker phone was place on.

"Where are the all the wires? The power source " He asked out loud but then he stood up.

"You know what, I don't want my brain to hurt right now, so I won't ask anymore." King said, walking away from the tree until his nose twitched.

"We have company, Luna." King said as both Spike and Peanut and Twilight and Grape both exited the paths surrounding the jungle. All the groups looked at each other happiness, or indifference.

"Peanut!" Grape ran over, hugging the dog. I actually was afraid that you might have died or something out here! She thought to herself. She then let Peanut go, slightly blushing. Twilight and Luna ended up hugging each other, and Spike and King stared each other down. King raised an eyebrow.

"Standing straight, have a completely tired expression on your face, you're faking your grin... yup you're one of the sane ones." King said with a small smile, shaking Spike's clawed hand. Spike smiled back.

"Yup."

"Attention contestants! It's time for you to learn the rules of the game! The Announcer voice cut through the moments. Peanut was smiling for a moment, then was groaning a spilt second later.

"The Game? NO! NOT AGAIN!" Peanut yelled, and then sighed. Everyone but Grape stared at Peanut funny.

Anyways, line up! The Announcer said, and with a bit of growls and hisses, the pets and the ponies lined up.

Now, in this game both Ponies and Pets can either work together or fight against each other. There are 4 Areas. In each area there is a reference to either one of your adventures, either Pony or Pet. If one finds this reference, you win instantenously. The voice said.

Now, behind these trees right behind me is a small camp enough for all of you. One certain days I will call some of you for specific challenges. Whoever wins that challenge lives to play another day. The other is sent back to the Stadium until one member remains. Whoever is last creature standing in that area not only gets a bonus gift in the next area, but get's two sponsor gifts! Then every creature is sent back to play the next area. Peanut then raised his paw.

"Sponsor gifts? What are those?" He asked, and the Announcer giggled with glee.

They are part of the three twist we are adding. You see, you were all chosen by fan's of your comdeic actions or just plain cuteness, and so sometimes they will send a gift to one or two characters. You can only have one every week though. Peanut and Grape, your Sponsor for example is a fine man known as Valerio. However for everypony else, your sponsor will be unknown to you. I only told you one so you could understand what it means. It's a nice fan who thinks your cool! The Announcer explained. Grape then narrowed her eyes.

"You said that was one of three twists. What's the next two?" She asked, supiscious. The Announcer then laughed insanely, and the all the contestants began to shiver.

The second twist is the random vote of the week! What the means my friends, is that every week I will give the viewers a choice between adding a new character too the show! It alternates, meaning Housepets one week, the other pony week. They vote the new character and I drop both the Pet and the Pony into the game. The Announcer explained, humming. Finally King growled.

"So whats the last 'twist' of the summer?" He asked. The Announcer stopped humming and begin laughing sinisterly.

The last twist is that there is another pony and pet group other than all of you and of course Bino and Dash. The Announcer grinned.
But their job is to not just ruin your chances of winning, but to ruin your chances at 'survival'. Here's a hint, it ain't Bino and Dash. The Announcer laughed.

Those are the rules you will follow. And here's a reason to play my friend: If you win, the greatest prize of all could be yours. And with that, the speaker quieted down. Everypony and creature looked at each other and sighed.

"So we are all being 'sponsored' by fans of our antics?" Grape commented. Who's Valerio and why do I get the sinking feeling that something horrible will happen? She thought as the other contestants agreed with her comment beforehand.

"Hey, he said there is a town for us to live in while playing the game!" Peanut said, running behind the tree holding the speakerphone. The rest followed him and stared in horror. It was a broken down, utterly destroyed camp, and had no business being a home. Peanut grinned nervously.

"It might need fixing up, but we have time. Right?" He said happily. Everyone just groaned.
-------------
Bino and Dash grinned, staring at the wad of bills in one talon, and at the bag of bits in the other.
"So... will you support the Solar Empire, and thus become the group we need to win the Game?" Pete asked. Both Bino and Dash nodded, greedy grins on their faces. A certain blue griffin grinned, throwing the bag at Dash the wad of cash at Bino. Dash felt a pang of guilt in her heart. Oh come on, I mean it's not like I'm betraying them. I'm just getting payed to win. Dash thought. Now, how to destroy my enemies? Bino thought, scheming already.

"Well then, watch out for the rouge group and beat the game. Everything is riding on you two now. And don't let either Peanut, King, or Luna win. If you can't win, stop those three." Pete said, sipping a glass of wine.

"We are both counting on you to gain the prize... isn't that right, Celestia?" Pete turned to a certain white alicorn with a devious smile.
"That is correct, you are our only hope." She said, a sadistic smirk on her face.

"Lets the games begin." Both said as they teleported both Bino and Dash back into the game.



A/N
Now for any non-Pony fan's here's Celestia's significance in the show: She's the Goddess of the Sun, and she has many variations of her personality that the fandom has created for her. The personality I'm going for in this is Tyrant Celestia: An evil tyrant really, and of course she works well with Pete that way.

For Pony Fans, sorry, but I prefer Tyrant Celestia. She's just so EVIL that I love her. Anyways, as it's been now hinted at, this game may be more important than the main contestants think.

Also that Sponsor thing? Valerio, I made you Grape and Peanut's sponsor cause I know you would help them out with a gift or two, but if anyone wants to be another character's sponsor in the story, then they have to PM me.

And finally, after I add a few more chapters to this, random vote weeks will occur. It will have a bunch of Housepets characters, you vote for one week. I tally them up, and we then vote on that pet's pony partner. You vote, I throw in both characters into the game. Anyways, tell me about any spelling errors, character mistakes, or anything. I want to do my best!)

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Last edited by Daemon on Fri Jul 20, 2012 11:19 pm, edited 3 times in total.



Fri Jul 20, 2012 10:33 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
...
I don't like the thought of Celestia working with Pete.

I must vote to insert Discord to mess with them.

other than me not liking this version of Celestia, I'm excited.

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Fri Jul 20, 2012 11:11 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
RandomGeekNamedBrent wrote:
...
I don't like the thought of Celestia working with Pete.

I must vote to insert Discord to mess with them.

other than me not liking this version of Celestia, I'm excited.


(I'm glad your excited, now, how will both Bino and Dash work together? Why is Celestia working with Pete? What is this prize that Announcer speaks off? Who is the Announcer? Many questions, and all will be answered in the story. Also why not? Tyrant Celestia is a great pony. And I am not being threatened by any Royal Guards right now, no sirrie......help me. )

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Fri Jul 20, 2012 11:25 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
(Okay, I just posted a Cast Page thing, it will continue to update as the story grows. (Warning, if you look carefully, it has spoilers for the story.)

{http://www.housepetscomic.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=2126)
(Check it out if you want more info on the characters or the Area's we will be going too in the story.)

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Sat Jul 21, 2012 5:51 am
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
Sweet, now I can read a Housepets and MLP fic at the same time, this will save me so much time!

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Sat Jul 21, 2012 7:24 am
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
Kyderra wrote:
Sweet, now I can read a Housepets and MLP fic at the same time, this will save me so much time!

Good for you!)

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Sat Jul 21, 2012 6:35 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
Ponies V.S. Pets

[u]Intermission/u]
Announcer: I'm sure you are wondering what is going on in the actaul world of Housepets right now, so let's see.

----------
Fox was not having a good day. First, King and Bino disappeared, King being searched for, while Bino was forgotten. Then Peanut and Grape disappeared. And finally, to drive the point in, now an annoying cat with light green eyes , black fur with a white muzzle and stomach fur was now holding a video camera in front of him along with the entire Bigglesworth Brigade. Did he mention he had clothes? He had clothes.

"So Foxy, how do you feel about your friend King seemingly gone?" The cat asked, the Bigglesworth Briagde snickering as he said it. Fox narrowed his eyes.

"What's so funny?" He growled, not trusting the cat. The cats surrounding him simply laughed, while the black cat simply smirked.

"Let's be frank, we are just reviewing our choices for contestants to be on a reality t.v. show, and what do you know, almost all our fans chose your friend. Now we are now interviewing other possible contestants, since we need a bigger cast for fans." The cat said sadistically. Fox twitched his ears. Is he saying that he dog napped King? Does that mean Bino, Grape, and Peanut were also dog napped for a reality t.v. show? Fox thought, then growled.


"Where's King then!" He growled. The cat backed up, along with the Brigade. He then smiled slyly.

"Woah, woah, WOAH Foxtail, he's playing the game, if you want to see him just sign this little contract. Bigglesworth the Third, give him the contract!" Fox watched as one of the Bigglesworth grabbed a pen and a piece of paper from the bag and gave it to Fox, The cat then smirked.

"If you really want to see your friend, if you sign here, you can become a contestant. Though, until we found you a counterpart from the other group, you would only be able to watch him play. But then at least you would know where his is." The cat said with a smile, the camera still near Fox's face. Fox's eyes narrowed in thought. I could find King, but then I would also be 'dog napped' as it were. But then I would be able to help him out..... The cat then smiled.

"If this makes you feel better, we are sending a message to every human involved soon. They'll know about the pets. Heck, we even told them the channel where to watch the show!" The cat said. Fox growled, but signed his name on the contract. The cat grinned, and the Brigade laughed.

"Welcome to the show Foxtrot. I hope you enjoy." And suddenly, there was a flash of light, and Fox fell into nothingness.

(I was a bit bored, so I decided to add this part as an intermission. Fox will not be in the game for a while. He's going to end up working behind the scenes and get caught up the main conflict.)

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Mon Jul 23, 2012 6:19 am
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
(Note: I may or not be changing to the title of story after the next chapters. I think I'm going to go a very different route than I originally planned too. This is a perfect chance to make a story that not only makes fun of Reality T.V. but makes fun of the Internet. In other words, a certain, meme will become a challenge soon. )

(Also, since you may not know who this is from the Intermission Post and this one, meet the Evil DJ, a cat so Evil he works for the Announcer!)
The Evil DJ:(*) An ally to the Announcer, The Evil DJ is Max's brother, Baxter who abandoned Max to go to New York. Why? To become a cat DJ within the Cat Attack, a cat club made in the sewers of New York. But the Announcer had a better offer, and now the Evil DJ was born. He spins music while unleashing animals, kicks puppies, and is going to be causing problems for our heroes. He has the same light green eyes as Max, the same black fur, but has a white stomach and muzzle. He wears a simple black jacket with headphones around his neck. He has red sunglasses, and wears green cargo pants. (Ally: Announcer) {Part of Apophis Entertainment} (E/M){Evil Mortal}

Chapter 2: Don't Look Up. You know he' there.
3 Hours before the first challenge
The Announcer as usual, was busy cheering to the crowd. The Evil DJ sighed, his light green eyes shining with annoyance. Why I am working with this guy again? Oh right, so I don't get turned into a marshmallow. DJ thought tiredly. Even though Fox was now in his living quarters until they could find him a pony partner, DJ was still not happy with this turn of events. I can't believe that I helped abducted my little brother's kittyfriend. Sorry Maxy, but Grape is stuck in the Game until she loses or wins. At least boss man's magic will keep the humans off us. But Celestia? Since she brought Pete in , it's been hard to keep trakc of the spy's and the contestants. DJ mentally grumbled.

I'm glad some cats were easy to buy off. Once cash was involved, these Bigglesworth cats will do their job okay. Reminds me of home, where I control everything. DJ thought bitterly. He would one day be back on the top... he just wasn't for now.
He stared at the Bigglesworth Brigade, with them yelling angrilly about the video camera and... a white face? He then heard a scream, seemingly involving something about being skinny- DJ then stopped, remembering what the Announcer had been doing before.

He was trying to hire Sle...No way... for real? The Announcer got him? DJ thought, slowly turning around. He then stared at the infamous being before him. He then narrowed his eyes. He then laughed a bit.

"I kinda thought you would be taller." DJ commented, a part of him still wary as the creature used tentacle to hold a pen while writing on a piece of paper. He then showed it DJ, who simply sighed.I only become like that when I'm hunting. I've been told to not kill them? The paper read, being held up by the creature. DJ nodded.

"Even though I would enjoy watching the contestants scream in the pain and agony that only you can truly bring, however, Boss-man needs them breathing and kicking." DJ said with an annoyed tone, however it soon turned sadistic as he stared at the creature before him.

"But we don't certain characters. Like Peanut for example, he could be fair game." The DJ said with a smile, walking away. He the returned, looking sheepish.

"If you need to talk to the Boss, just go to the guy over in the Matrix clothes." With that, the DJ disappeared, seemingly running out of the room. The creature would have sighed if it could, as once question ran through his brain.What is the Matrix?
-------------------
3 Hours Later, 12:00 AM
King was searching throughout the 'camp'. Why? To simply explain it, King was searching for anything, hammers, screw drivers, nails... anything that he could use to fix up this camp. This had been one of the first rules of business, ever since they had gotten to this camp. Due to Luna actually being royalty itself, with every pony agreeing and even pet, they allowed Luna to become the leader of the camp. She had sent Grape to look for food, and she had told Peanut and Spike to be on lookout. She had told King to try and find tools to repair the camp while she tried to use magic to fix up the camp a bit. Twilight Sparkle was busy using magic to keep a fire burning. King sighed, but then gained a small smile, as he opened a shed door to reveal an entire armory of tools. Jackpot. He thought.

Twilight Sparkle breathing a happy breathe as she warmed up around the fire. The coldness that the water had had finally disappeared, all thanks to science! She then shivered again, trying to not to hyperventilate. Luna's magic had been limited by this Announcer, the Goddess of the Moon simply being helpless in this host's hands. The fact is that all this effort to simply create a show is completely wasteful. It's like this Announcer just doesn't understand how the world works. This thought echoed in her head.

Even this forest it feels... wrong. That's why I ran from Grape, it felt like my magic was dying. In fact it has been getting worse! What is this forest doing to me. It's only been three to 6 hours at best, but I'm already so tired... Twilight's mind has been so busy dealing with the realization that the multiverse existed, dealing with falling into a lake, and dealing with the realization that this forest may be draining her magic, she had simply forgotten she was tired. However finally, sleep invaded Sparkle's mind. Nothing could go wrong... nothing.
---------
Spike was patrolling the camp, acting like a soldier, while Peanut was at the top of tree. He had climbed all the way to the top in order to get a good view.
Crackle..Crackle.The speaker phone activated quietly, as almost if it knew of Sparkle sleeping.

"I should warn you all, the first challenge of the forest. I mean jungle, I mean whatever, is to beginning now. Here's the rules: Survive the night, eh, day. Just stay away from him until sunrise!" The Announcer said, annoyed at his inability to talk today. Peanut raised an ear. Challenge? Survive the night? Whose attacking us? Peanut thought. His eyes slowly explored his surroundings, even though he had no night vision like cats did, he could still see okay. Tree...Tree... That's a tree..thats a tall guy without a face...wait WHAT? Peanut's eyes moved back towards to sight he had seen, but the figure who was there had just disappeared. Peanut gulped.

Peanut was a nerd. This was a fact. He liked books, video games, and what not. And sooner or later he used the internet. Did you honestly expect his curiosity not to take him to the dark side of the Internet? Peanut found the site, found the photos. He knew about Slenderman. And he also knew exactly what the Tall Mad did to people. Is that what I think? He's real? For real? I..I... I can't let him near the others! Peanut thought, sliding down the tree. He blinked, and the once empty spot in front of the tree contained the figure . The pictures were true, it seemed, as the figure was impossibly tall, and the moment Peanut and the creature made 'eye' contact in a sense, that's when the hunt truly began.

For Peanut, it had seemed like time had slowed down. He watched as it seemed the legs of the figure slowly break apart into separate entities. He knew this part well enough after reading enough stories about it. Once you get to close to to him, he would become a bodily mass of tentacles and kill you. Peanut thought. It was like he was in a trance. He numbly watched as a tentacle slowly shot forward, aiming at Peanut's heart. Peanut was a naive dog to be sure, however when one's life is on the line, everything changes. In those split seconds, Peanut tried to think. These were the only thoughts he could think of, using all of the intelligence a panicking dog can use.

I have to keep him away from the others.
Since I saw him first, I'm his target right now. I can lead him away, and try to keep running until sunrise.
And finally, if I don't get away now, I'll already be dead. Peanut jumped away , turning in the air, dodging the impossibly fast tentacle. Peanut then landed on the ground after jumping. He yelped and began running deeper into the forest. The figure growled. It's prey had escaped his trance. Usually, that was impossible. It shook it's head and if it had a face, it would be grinning. Finally, something interesting. And with that, the figure disappeared. After all, no one could escape the Slenderman.


A/N
I think this is shorter than chapter 1. If so, sorry, I needed to introduce Slendy. Yes I know he sounds like a monster in this right now, but once the challenge ends he'll become a more comedic character. Also, before you comment upon Peanut's quick thinking, saying it is out of character, Peanut is intelligent, but naive. He knows about the Slenderman because his curiosity pulled him to the dark side of the internet. He read up on him, and he knows about him. I should add that in the cast page. Anyway, time had practically slowed down for Peanut, and since he was about to die, he tried his best to think of way to get out of this situation. If it seems out of character thought, and if eveyone agrees, I'll rewrite that part.)

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Tue Jul 24, 2012 3:50 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
You do show the slender man having a comedic side when he didn't know about the matrix.

Although I think that this could have ended with Peanut being like "No, the slender man can't be real." and goes back to camp. Then he slowly sees him more and more and starts to almost go insane from it.

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Tue Jul 24, 2012 4:07 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
JeffCvt wrote:
You do show the slender man having a comedic side when he didn't know about the matrix.

Although I think that this could have ended with Peanut being like "No, the slender man can't be real." and goes back to camp. Then he slowly sees him more and more and starts to almost go insane from it.



Right now however, Slenderman was given free reign to just kill Peanut by Evil DJ. DJ wants Peanut dead for his own reasons, so he said Slendy could kill Peanut. Even when Peanut survives this encounter, who says that Slender won't do just that? Also, Slender is going to end up as The Evil DJ's partner in crime. Trust me, they are going to destroy everything around them.

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Tue Jul 24, 2012 4:12 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
Sooo. I do not think this is adequately explained, but does death have meaning here? I mean, is it permanent in the game, or only game time death?

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Tue Jul 24, 2012 10:18 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
copper wrote:
Sooo. I do not think this is adequately explained, but does death have meaning here? I mean, is it permanent in the game, or only game time death?



Alright let me explain. Slenderman was hired by The Announcer, a character we don't know much about. The Announcer doesn't want anyone to die, Slenderman would just find them.

Death still happens here, but The Announcer is trying to keep that from happening. Basically, the only real reason why he's thrown Ponies against Pets is to cause chaos. He wants to screw with Pete and Celestia, two Gods who want The Announcer dead.

However, the Evil DJ wants Peanut dead, reason? We don't know yet. It may be connected to the fact that DJ is Max's older brother. So he told Slenderman Peanut's free game. Also, Pete doesn't want Peanut winning this Game, for reasons still unknown.

So long story short: You die for in the Game, you die for real. The Announcer is keeping the Slenderman on a leash, but DJ wants to cut it. Now once just has to add an unknown team, Bino and Rainbow Dash, and I'm sure the Kitsune and the Spirit Dragon are very curious to what is going on, don't you think?

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Tue Jul 24, 2012 10:29 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
(In other news, I'm trying to post this drawing of Peanut I made onto this file attachment! If it doesn't work, I'll rage.

EDIT: I will kill the Griffin known as Rick. It has been decided.


(Also, I have decided upon the main theme of the show.
(Ready to Die by Andrew W.K. I won't post a link, just in cause.)

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Tue Jul 24, 2012 10:36 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
I think I can upload the picture now, thanks to Jeff.

Image

One, how I felt about the picture.
That's how Peanut is right now, enjoying the Game, having fun. Fast-paced and a bit happy. But now that the Slenderman is here, which I would have added to the picture had I had not used a Iphone to take pictures. Anyways, I might make another Peanut pic later, with a more serious game face on. After all, he is being chased by Slenderman.
I wonder how Slenderman would look in this world... better start drawing a comdeic Slendy for the Fan Fic Art Section. I'm adding one, right now.

But Two problems I had with myself, which I wished I could have done better... the hands! The feet! They look awful! Everything else.... I think this looks like Peanut more than any of my other tries. So yeah, Peanut is still happy, but soon he will have weapons, clothes, and will be prepared for Slender!

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Tue Jul 24, 2012 10:51 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
That actually looks pretty good.

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Tue Jul 24, 2012 10:53 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
JeffCvt wrote:
That actually looks pretty good.



The ears gave me trouble, but I beat them. Wish I had colored pencils though, Peanut fully colored would have made my day. But it's the hands man, look at 'em, they look horribly drawn. I just gave up with the hands.)

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Tue Jul 24, 2012 10:57 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
Will Peanut escape Slendy? Will someone help him? Why does DJ want Peanut dead? find out eventually on... PONIES V.S. PETS!

also
Daemon wrote:
Basically, the only real reason why he's thrown Ponies against Pets is to cause chaos.

announcer is Discord in disguise, I'm calling it right now.

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Tue Jul 24, 2012 11:04 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
RandomGeekNamedBrent wrote:
Will Peanut escape Slendy? Will someone help him? Why does DJ want Peanut dead? find out eventually on... PONIES V.S. PETS!

also
Daemon wrote:
Basically, the only real reason why he's thrown Ponies against Pets is to cause chaos.

announcer is Discord in disguise, I'm calling it right now.


Maybe, maybe not. Perhaps he's just a faithful follower of chaos. In other news, I'm making two forms of Slendy, the one that firsts enters the Game, and the one that will exist after. So yeah, you'll get a spoiler, just a bit.

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Tue Jul 24, 2012 11:06 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
Yay then! :D

And the pic is nice! Pretty darn good...

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Tue Jul 24, 2012 11:38 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
copper wrote:
Yay then! :D

And the pic is nice! Pretty darn good...


Thanks for the compliment. It means a lot... no seriously, I stopped drawing for a while. I completely doodled that today. I'm surprised I remember anything about drawing. I'm uploading the new Slendy photo up soon, then I draw another one, then no more drawing tonight or today. Time is all messed up on this computer. It thinks I'm in the year 3000. I'm not joking.

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Tue Jul 24, 2012 11:41 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
(Note, the IPhone I used to take the Peanut picture was unavalible, so I used an Ipad. It was actually worse, but I spiced up the messed up picture was able to see it again.)


Image

Slenderman trying to respectful to his employer. Nothing more, nothing less. Just wait until DJ gets his paws on him.

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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
How very interesting looking. Like a mannequin with tentacles.

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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
copper wrote:
How very interesting looking. Like a mannequin with tentacles.


Edit: I know he's cool right? Yeah, I was going to draw Future Slender as a pot dealer, but then I realized I could get in trouble on this forum for those things, so I stopped that. Anyway, I might still be drawing, don't know yet. But first, I'm moving both pictures to the front!)

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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
(First Note, this chapter will contain Peanut being Peanut. Plus Slenderman of course. Second Note: Copper, Fox will be appearing in this chapter, don't you worry.)


Chapter 3: Slenderman hates Creepers. And Grapes.

You know, being chased by a monster spawned from the darkest reaches of the Internet is not something Peanut usually would do. However, being the boyfriend of an avatar to the Spirit Dragon does help you stay calm when being chased by the Slenderman. Peanut was dodging and weaving, and it seemed everywhere he turned he saw the infamous creature, who didn't look quite happy. Even though he had no face, one would think that when ones entire body has become tentacles, one would be angry.

Yikes! Peanut thought as said tentacles started chasing after him like a bullet. Seriously, making a game with Slenderman in it? Really? Even I think that's overkill! Peanut thought somewhat hysterically, dodging, jumping, and even ducking away from tentacles. Peanut somewhat grinned as he dodged the monsters attacks. Then again, all this jumping around and dodging is pretty fun. If I survive, I would even say this is pretty cool! Peanut's fears began disappear as he began jumping over tree roots and other tricks in order to escape the tentacles. However that fear returned when one of tentacles almost sliced his neck off.

I'm really glad Max taught me how to run fast from dogs like Bino, or I would already be Slenderman's meal. Peanut thought with a nervous smile, running through the forest. Peanut then noticed how violent and angry the Slenderman seemed to be. At the beginning the Slenderman was fast, but calm, just like the stories. Now, it was fast, but angry. Each of tentacles were ripping through the forest to get to Peanut. It wasn't even trying to teleport, it was just chasing Peanut. Peanut then gulped. Great, I'm the first person in history to get Slenderman mad. I'm dead. Peanut thought, hysteria once again returning. However, sooner or later a pet must stop and rest, and Peanut was no exception, One mistake and he was dead.

So when Peanut, in his musing's, tripped on a root, one couldn't blame him. As he fell, the tentacles launched forward, happy to obtain their prey at last. Only to miss Peanut's leg by inches, and watch Peanut fall into a........... square shaped hole? Slenderman watched as Peanut fell down, annoyed that his kill had escape. He then heard a rustling sound. Slenderman turned to see a green, box like creature stare at him. In three seconds, many thoughts would rush through Slenderman's head, such as annoyance of not obtain his kill, confusion at the mysterious creature, and finally rage for one reason only.

BOOM! The Slenderman felt his entire body crumble to pieces as the green creature exploded. Even though the Slenderman was immortal, he doesn't appreciate being blown up. In fact he hates it for many reasons. However, that is a story for another day. His last thought however was this : I'll will kill that dog. Slowly. Then I'll kill the DJ. very slowly.
---------------
Fox was watching the scene from the stadium along with DJ, his eyebrows raised. He had just seen the supposedly all powerful Slenderman get blown up by.. a green box? He turned to DJ who was laughing in loud bursts.

"What just happened?" Fox question, a bit irritated by DJ's laughing. DJ began calming down, tears of laughter still running down his face.

"You see, the game areas, even this stadium, are at the exact center of the multiverse, and because of that this place gets the brunt of imagination. For example, it was jungle last time, so why is it a forest now? Because now the Slenderman just entered. Since Peanut was the only one who knew Slenderman and his tales, the area changed in order to fit his idea of Slenderman. However, it seems one of his other thoughts might have been pulled into the area."

DJ said this with a smirk, his glasses on. Fox then narrowed his eyes. What could have Peanut been thinking about that could blow up this Slenderman? From what this guy said, Slenderman is impossible to kill. DJ then rolled his eyes, as if he knew what Fox was thinking.

"Peanut is a gamer, and also a fan of creativity and the Internet. Of course a dog like him will discover Minecraft and the horrors of Creepers." DJ explained. Fox twitched his ears.

"Are you saying, the reason Peanut is still alive, the only reason why Peanut isn't in the stomach of the Slenderman right now, is because of a video game he liked?" Fox said, disbelief in his voice. The DJ nodded with a smile.

"Peanut is in a Cave System without any tools or weapons, which is more dangerous than Slenderman if you played Minecraft. Peanut is still in danger. However, I don't think Slenderman will be chasing him now. ." DJ said. Fox then laughed, which got DJ confused.

"I pity him." Fox said with a smirk. DJ stared with confusion
"Pity for whom?" DJ said, earning a laugh from Fox.

"Isn't it obvious? Slenderman of course!" Fox said with a smirk. DJ then laughed sadistically.

"Slenderman is still going to attack the others you idiot!" DJ said, earning a growl from Fox.

"DJ, if you were watching the camp instead of Peanut, you would know why Slenderman is in trouble. While Peanut was being chased, guess who returned?" Fox said with a devious smile. DJ then turned to the camp, his eyes widening in realization. He then groaned.

"GRAAPE!" He yowled in anger.
-----------------------
When Slenderman spawned in front of Grape, he was hoping that this time he wouldn't be blown up by green box monsters, however, what occurred next was much worse. If Peanut was a fast runner, Grape was a brutal fighter. He soon found his own tentacles being tied up by this angry cat. I've decided, next time a mysterious guy only known as the Announcer tries to hire me, I'll tell him to stuff it. Slenderman thought tiredly as he was dragged away, tied up by the purple fury known as Grape.
---------------------
Peanut groaned, his head aching from falling through a hole. He then turned and his eyes just widened in shock. Okay, I can understand aliens, I can even understand Slenderman, but this is impossible! Peanut thought as he stared at his surroundings. While he did not carry the same designs, the entire cave system seemed to be shaped like a normal Minecraft game, with blocks as your graphics. He noted that there wasn't a lot of torches around the cave system. Peanut sighed, and turned to discover a chest, with a sign saying this.

Due to my idiot co-host Evil DJ tricking Slenderman into trying to kill you, I gave you a way out. Since I couldn't stop Slenderman because that would be breaking the rules, I was still able to get you out of that sticky situation. But now we are in a Minecraft area. In this chest there is a sword, and a leather armor. Don't worry, they aren't blocky, in fact, the sword is stylized pretty well in fact. The leather is more of a cloak, but it will still protect you. It looks cool too! - From the Announcer. Also, here's some torches. Peanut read the sign with interest.

So wait, The Announcer just saved me? And the Slenderman was just tricked into trying to kill me? Then who is this Evil DJ? Peanut thought, but then shook his head. Wait. Minecraft. No torches. That's bad. Think later, put on stuff, NOW! Peanut opened the chest, and grabbed the sword, 64 torches, and a leather cloak. Just as the Announcer said, none of them were blocky, and the sword was stylized. It had a blue gem in the center of a golden circle, which sat on the hilt, and the blade was long, metal, had writing on it. He then noticed a sheath. He put the cloak on (which came with a belt.) and clipped the sheath onto the belt.

Before he sheathed the blade, he read the writing on it.

"Eternal Chaos" Peanut mouthed, and the blade began the glow with an unearthly light. He then smiled. A light and a weapon! This is perfect for fighting in here! He thought, until he heard the noises of the enemies in Minecraft. He tried to ready himself, but his legs shook nervously holding a sword. A spider jumped, hissing, but soon found it self being sliced by a sword. Before it died, it thought about why adventurers always think spiders are evil, before poofing into dust. Peanut grinned, his nervousness disappearing as he entered the darkness of the cave system, preparing to escape the Minecraftian world.


(A/N)
Come on. Did any of you actually think I was going to put a scary chase scene in this? Of course there would be a joke. Slenderman will be turned into a pushover and a laughing stock by the end of this fic. Also, Peanut's new clothes are only to follow the Minecraft rules. But that sword he is keeping. Why? I won't tell you just yet. Anyways, mocking you with cliffhangers and then taking them away might be a trend. I don't know just yet. Anyways, this is becoming a full on crossover with everything. Don't worry, Ponies will still be be fighting Pets, but it will be Peanut and Fox who deal with all the crossovers. And King, cause he's King.

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Last edited by Daemon on Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Thu Jul 26, 2012 12:13 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
This just becomes more interesting by second. Minecraft saving Peanut.

Oh, and one thing.
Daemon wrote:
However, being the boyfriend of a avatar to a Spirit Dragon does help you stay calm when being chased by the Slenderman.


"a avatar" should be "an avatar", but I think it would be even better as "the avatar to the Spirit Dragon." There is only one Spirit Dragon and she only one avatar as far as we know.

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Thu Jul 26, 2012 1:06 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
JeffCvt wrote:
This just becomes more interesting by second. Minecraft saving Peanut.

Oh, and one thing.
Daemon wrote:
However, being the boyfriend of a avatar to a Spirit Dragon does help you stay calm when being chased by the Slenderman.


"a avatar" should be "an avatar", but I think it would be even better as "the avatar to the Spirit Dragon." There is only one Spirit Dragon and she only one avatar as far as we know.


Fixed it. Also, here's a fact: Whenever I imagine Peanut in a battle, I don't see him as a aggresive fighter, I see him more of a fast moving fighter, like dodging instead of blocking. So I like making Peanut very fast. He isn't a tank, he's more of a ninja. Note, how are you liking Slenderman? And of course the Announcer? I want to make Slenderman a comedic character who just gives up on being a villian, while The Annoucner just wants the Game to be played without murder.)

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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
I'm liking this. I'd like to see Fullmetal Alchemist brought in, cause I know Peanut's a fan.

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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
RandomGeekNamedBrent wrote:
I'm liking this. I'd like to see Fullmetal Alchemist brought in, cause I know Peanut's a fan.

Perhaps...)

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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
Okay. Read the whole thing and just as you requested, I'll give you a critique. Yes, I had to say that so one global mod won't pick on me for picking on others.

It's a different work from those you did earlier. I remember you mainly from fics that contained violence and suffering. Because I see that you made a wide plan and you try to make interaction with your readers (which is interesting), maybe now people will know you for doing something nice. Though I still have worries.

First thing is that I don't know what's the rating of your work. Recently writers of Pan Projects section tell about rating from the beginning so people are well aware of what they can expect. That's something I suggest you should do as well.

Other thing is that, unfortunately, you commit a common mistake when writing, known as repeatable error. one is at the very beginning.
Quote:
The sun was rising, and the crowd was cheering, the crowd glowed with exictement.

And there's a lot of them. You must be aware of those mistakes when writing because they're nasty and they're ruin aesthetic.

Also your narration seems to be chaotic. At the beginning, there was almost none of it, which made lacks on details. Later it was, but kinda rough. What do I mean by that? You often tend to mix styles and also throw in thought and dialogues at the same time. Also, there's one thing you still do since you begun to write - you write directly what appears in your head, therefore you show us what you imagine all of this your way. That's why you must remember that you're not only a writer, but you must also think like you were the reader and you must show us things the way to bring us close to your imagination, so we can understand your intentions.

At the beginning of chapter 1, you changed speech marks for direct suggestion who says dialogue by name. If you write something, you cannot do that. Either you stick with speech marks all the time, or naming.

One thing I found silly :) :
Quote:
He numbly watched as a tentacle slowly shot forward, aiming at Peanut's heart. Peanut was a naive dog to be sure, however when one's life is on the line, everything changes. In those split seconds, Peanut tried to think. These were the only thoughts he could think of, using all of the intelligence a panicking dog can use.

I have to keep him away from the others.
Since I saw him first, I'm his target right now. I can lead him away, and try to keep running until sunrise.
And finally, if I don't get away now, I'll already be dead
. Peanut jumped away , turning in the air, dodging the impossibly fast tentacle.


Think about it. Thinking about others, Slenderman, what to do with him and being killed takes... around 5 - 10 seconds, while a deadly shot is less than 1. So even if he would somehow start thinking about all of this the way you showed, he would already be pierced bya tentacle. Of course Hp! is a cartoon, but even that genre requires a bit logic. You have to change that the way to make it be meaningful.

Daemon wrote:
Death still happens here, but The Announcer is trying to keep that from happening. Basically, the only real reason why he's thrown Ponies against Pets is to cause chaos. He wants to screw with Pete and Celestia, two Gods who want The Announcer dead.


I deeply hope that I will absolutely not see death or blood in this fic. I know that people have different tastes, but that's something I totally don't like in any Hp! fic.

Well, that's enough of picking on you my critique :) I hope that my subjective point of view will help you in improving your skills.

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Fri Jul 27, 2012 5:31 pm
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Post Re: Ponies V.S. Pets (HP Fic)
I actually agree with all your points. I suck at details, I rehash words, and etc. At least I know what to work with! Thank you for your honesty.

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Fri Jul 27, 2012 5:48 pm
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