Risks (HP Fanfic)

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Daemon
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Risks (HP Fanfic)

Post by Daemon »

Risks
By Daemon

Description: Peanut may be naive, but he isn't stupid. (Sad, Character Study, Semi-Grapenut)
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You know, everyone thinks I always have fun, and I never get really sad. Well, Grape knows that isn't true. But sometimes I get angry, sometimes I feel like no one understands. But everyone thinks they do. They think they understand me completely, top to bottom, even Grape. They all think I'm a naive dog who doesn't have a care in the world. Here's a fact: I might be naive, but I'm not stupid. But the fact is, it isn't really about me is it? I love having fun, but that's all I do. Grape is still trying to enter a cat society, while Joey wants to be accepted by other dogs. Fido has his secret relationship with Sabrina, heck, even Fox is trying to change his lifestyle, siding with that King person and such.

But me? I'm always happy, they think. I'm always content having fun. And I think that's what really bugs me. Grape has taken risks, Joey has taken risks, Fido and Fox have taken risks, but me? I never have done any of those things. I have never taken risks to get what I want. I just listen to Grape, because I'm naive and she's responsible. The worst part is is that I know it, and even though I could try, I'm to afraid to take those risks.

I'm such a mess aren't I? I want to change, but I'm afraid to. And the sad fact is, the one time I took a risk, the one time I was going to change my lifestyle, it was too late. Because Grape had called Max. Ever since then, I pretend to be happy for Grape, I pretend to be friends with Max, and I pretend to have moved on with Tarot. Tarot... huh, maybe if I had never known Grape, I believe I would loved her. I actually told her my feelings, told her that I can't love her, and all she did was smile and say that she loved me, and that was enough for her. Whenever I look at her, I feel guilty, because I'm always focused on Grape, and she is dear to me too. I see her as a friend, but a part of me wishes I could love her.

I'm so selfish aren't I? But even now I'm more confused. I'm happy for Grape, but I hate the fact I never took my chance. I want to love Tarot, but I can't.
I want to hate Max, but I can't, because Grape loves him. My head is filled with opposing thoughts, and sometimes I wonder if it would have been better to have never had met Grape. Maybe I wouldn't be so confused about who I am.

So yeah I'm happy, happy for everyone else. Because they have what they want, because they are living their lives the way they wanted it, while I sit, playing my video games, trying to ignore the fact that no matter what I have, I'll never have the things I need. But it's becoming worse, because now it's getting hard to hide behind my happiness. I realized this when Bino began his daily insults towards me.

You're sick you know that? You are just a sick cat lovin-argh! It had happened so fast, and before I knew it, Bino was on the ground, and I was growling.
I wanted him to shut up, I wanted him to stop reminding me of my love of Grape. I wanted him to stop making me hurt! But as I stood over him, my mind cleared. I didn't have a choice, I ran.

I realize now I'm going to have to change soon. I can't pretend to be happy for much longer. I can't pretend to be fine with Grape dating Max. And I can't pretend to ignore Bino any longer. I have to decide. Who am I? I'm not Peanut, the dog who is always happy, enjoying life and being naive. Once I was him, but now... he's dead. I don't know who I am anymore. But I will find out. From now on I will take risks, and maybe, just maybe, I might finally get what I've always wanted.

A/N
This is staying as a oneshot. I wrote this because Peanut is always getting the short end of the stick in my opinion. It's just my opinion and whatnot, but sometimes it makes be annoyed that Peanut is usually presented as naive and a bit... dumb and whenever he is sad or angry he seems to be more intelligent. I don't know if I did the character justice, but this is my take on his personality.

Also, I added the Tarot thing in order to explain my total annoyance with the shipping triangle with Grape and Peanut. Grapenut, MaxxGrape, TarotxPeanut, PeanutxDragon. Really, look how convoluted it is! That's why I presented this as a oneshot. I'm serious fanfic writers, no matter what you do, this triangle literally destroys any chance of no drama.

That's why I presented Tarot/Dragon, as understanding, because she loves Peanut, and I feel Tarot loves him enough to understand if he doesn't love her. And I do feel that Peanut does have some feelings towards Tarot/Dragon, but I feel that Peanut just loves Grape more.

But this is my point here. I don't think I'll ever write a gigantic shipfic because this love pentagon thing is too complicated to unravel. To any writer who tries, good luck.

But if there is any feedback you would like to send me, I'll appreciate it. Grammar, personality, anything really. You criticise me all you want, I want to get better at writing.
Last edited by Daemon on Sat Jun 30, 2012 2:39 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Once I was EmoPeanut, now I'm Daemon. I support Sabrina&Max. Got a problem with that?
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JeffCvt
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Re: Risks (HP Fanfic)

Post by JeffCvt »

A good look into Peanut's personality from your viewpoint. I personally liked it.
Just a few things to fix.
Daemon wrote:huh, maybe I had never known Grape, I think I would loved her.
"I" and "Had" should be switched I believe.
This should probably be "Had loved" or just "Love" also.
Daemon wrote:Because they have what want,
I think there is supposed to be a "They" in there.
Daemon wrote:I didn't have choice, I ran.
I think you mean "I didn't have a choice" here.
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Daemon
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Re: Risks (HP Fanfic)

Post by Daemon »

JeffCvt wrote:A good look into Peanut's personality from your viewpoint. I personally liked it.
Just a few things to fix.
Daemon wrote:huh, maybe I had never known Grape, I think I would loved her.
"I" and "Had" should be switched I believe.
This should probably be "Had loved" or just "Love" also.
Daemon wrote:Because they have what want,
I think there is supposed to be a "They" in there.
Daemon wrote:I didn't have choice, I ran.
I think you mean "I didn't have a choice" here.
Thanks, I'll start editing now. Thanks for the feedback.
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valerio
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Re: Risks (HP Fanfic)

Post by valerio »

well, you have a good style, but that's not my kind of story. I think Peanut is off character, here. Sorry. I can't see him thinking those things.
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Daemon
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Re: Risks (HP Fanfic)

Post by Daemon »

valerio wrote:well, you have a good style, but that's not my kind of story. I think Peanut is off character, here. Sorry. I can't see him thinking those things.

Your opinion... I should check out where I messed with his character then.
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MapleRatty
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Re: Risks (HP Fanfic)

Post by MapleRatty »

Wow, this is probably the best insight look on Penuts character ever!

I have no complaints! This is AWESOME!! :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
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Daemon
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Re: Risks (HP Fanfic)

Post by Daemon »

Otaku-Boy wrote:Wow, this is probably the best insight look on Penuts character ever!

I have no complaints! This is AWESOME!! :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
Thanks!
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RandomGeekNamedBrent
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Re: Risks (HP Fanfic)

Post by RandomGeekNamedBrent »

I can see Peanut thinking some of these things. about Tarot and Grape, but I don't think he'd ever want to hate max. and I don't think (barring some external force) that he'd ever hurt Bino, no matter how much he insults him.
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JeffCvt
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Re: Risks (HP Fanfic)

Post by JeffCvt »

However, this is supposed to show how he is feeling on the inside, the stuff that no one ever sees in him. I've had times that I felt like I waned to rip someones head off of their shoulders, but ask anyone and you probably won't find a single person who would ever think I would ever feel like doing something like that. (Note: I don't do things like that. But there have been times that I wish I could.)
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Re: Risks (HP Fanfic)

Post by RandomGeekNamedBrent »

I know. That doesn't change the fact that he hit Bino. I mean... Bino totally deserved it, but I'm pretty sure that he'd never hurt even him. He'd want to, perhaps. may even consider it. but I doubt he'd do it.

as for wanting to hate max, why would he want to hate him? he'd possibly want to hate that Grape is with him, but I don't think he'd want to hate him.
of course, this is just my opinion of his personality. I do believe that he's not naive and inside he isn't as happy as he seems, but just those two parts I feel are slightly put of character.
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Karl
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Re: Risks (HP Fanfic)

Post by Karl »

I personally never was a fan of fics that were telling mainly about internal suffering.

It's not a first work under your pen that is actually painful. It makes me wonder what fuels you to make such work. Either you just like internal struggle or that's your way of cleaning yourself. But I also believe that you're dangerously going into dark things.

And I think you take this comic too emotionally. All of us who write fan fic experience in this comic and we even identify with some characters, but you must remember that it's just a fiction and you shouldn't allow to get it too close to your heart and mind.

Don't be surprised by people who tell you that Peanut seems to be off character. If you want to be a good writer, you must always give full attention to people's opinion who give you a clear signal that something is not going right and they're not happy about it.
And they're right. Peanut is absolutely off character. it's true that Peanut is naive. But that doesn't make him totally dumb. Peanut is hyper enthusiastic and his nature resembles of a child who looks upon the world through games and fun. Of course as a living being he can be hurt, but overall he's very optimistic. His childish behavior mixed with somewhat adult decisions, gaming, drawing comic, enormous amount of energy and optimism... all of that makes him a proper character for comedic comic. And because of that it's impossible for him to become so anxious and even think about punching someone and make him suffer.
You can say that you're trying to make Peanut your own way, but you should remember that a good fan fic is the one that, of course expresses your own ideas, but keeps the personalities of fictional characters close to those showed in canonical work.
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copper
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Re: Risks (HP Fanfic)

Post by copper »

It is wonderful to finally see you back in writing, and with a wonderful one off of Peanut in a depressive mood. We all get this way sometimes, we all know what it is like, and just because a character is mostly happy, like Peanut and Sasha, does not mean they are immune to these thoughts.Peanut is not a one dimensional character, and can and will be saddened at times, just as every conscious being ever. He is not immune to sadness, and I think this little fic is a good show of what Peanut might think when in a mood like that.


As for off character, yes, a few things are off character for him. Peanut is not the type to lash out physically, more the type to withdraw, so I agree the Bino thing was a bit off. As for hating Max, a grudge could easily develop, though I doubt Peanut would, since most of his attention is focused on Grape. And Peanut uses distractions when saddened. He will throw himself into his art, or listen to music, or play a game. He rarely sits and mopes full on like this. And there was no impetus for this internal monologue... what made him get so sad?


Not many are able or willing to write characters in ways that are unusual for them. I enjoy when Sinder writes, since he speaks of Peanut's internal thoughts, which are sometimes sad. Characters are more than there primary personality.... otherwise they could not surprise us. :D
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Daemon
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Re: Risks (HP Fanfic)

Post by Daemon »

Thanks for all the feedback. I'll try to make it more in character next time.
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