Burning Desire: The Power Within

What do you call a fic that's not a fic

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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by valerio »

CAUGHT UP AT LAST!
Wow, I *did* have a lot to read, but...all worth it :D
Great, action-filled, drama-filled, feelings-filled, comedy-filled ficcie! Can't wait for the next installment. ;)
And YAY for Scratch comic, that was really nicely done :D :D :D
And YES YES YES, I knew Prowler would turn out to be the good guy, hah! *does the dance*
The only defect? (Le Gasp!) Seriously, for the life of me, I can't take seriously a badbutt kicker super-fighting dog called JIFF seriously. Prowler is WAY cooler! Jiff...no, no, I can't stop elaborating puns, bad valerio bad!

And now, for the DERP reputation: Perhaps (let's just say quite certainly) I did miss something while reading this great ficcie, but...why was Nox so obsessed with eliminating Ji-Prowler (forgive me, Jeff, I can't!)? And everyone else in the gardens since he was at that? I had the impression that this great fight sort of came out of nowhere, rather than being motivated...but, again, I must have missed something, for which I apologize.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by JeffCvt »

valerio wrote:The only defect? (Le Gasp!) Seriously, for the life of me, I can't take seriously a badbutt kicker super-fighting dog called JIFF seriously. Prowler is WAY cooler!
But... Jiff is an awesome name... :lol:

Seriously, it was a name that just came to me. It was the only name of my OC's that I didn't
A: Have to think about for an extended period of time (More than 12 hours) or
B: Have to look up online.

Plus I didn't keep Prowler for two reasons. 1, it's more of a cat name. 2, Silentprincess threatened to hurt me if I kept the name because of her character named Prowler (Who existed before she started her fic).

And onto your confusion about the fight, it was kind of out of nowhere. The reason Nox was the way he was at the fight has yet to be totally reveled.


Oh, and sorry for not having updated in a while, but as I said, I had a case of writers block. I'm still not really that far into my next part. And I just lost my wallet yesterday, so that isn't going to help at all. Just please, bear with me. I plan on having a real informative update, I just have to write it.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by Karl »

valerio wrote:The only defect? (Le Gasp!) Seriously, for the life of me, I can't take seriously a badbutt kicker super-fighting dog called JIFF seriously. Prowler is WAY cooler! Jiff...no, no, I can't stop elaborating puns, bad valerio bad!
Maybe because when you read JIFF, in your imagination appears TIFF.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by JeffCvt »

Hey, what's this?
It's an extremely long post, it seems to be something I have heard of.
What is it?! It's on the tip if my tongue, it's an u... up...
AN UPDATE!! IT'S AN UPDATE!!

Enjoy

“So that’s what that star means!” Joey said. “I had no idea!”

“No one really knows.” Jiff said as he put the collar back on. “Thanks for getting this back from your brother.”

Jiff and Joey were walking down the sidewalk. They had met up so Joey could give Jiff the collar he had given him on the first day they met. He had been able to get it back from Fido once the investigation into the incident in the park was done.

“About that…” Joey started. “Are you sure that you don’t want me to get you a new tag that doesn’t have Prowler stamped on it. We could go do that right now, it wouldn’t be any problem.”

Jiff had an emotionless look on his face as he finished putting the collar on. He always seemed to have that look now that he wasn’t pretending to be Prowler. “No thank you, I’m going to get it engraved. The ink you used may not wipe off, but it will go away if it’s ground off.” When he spoke, it had an emotionless sound to go with his facial expression.

Joey had a hard time telling if Jiff was feeling any kind of emotion at all. His face was just so… Blank. “I guess it will.” He said. Joey thought for a second and said “Wait, since when is there a place around here that you can get custom engraving? I can’t think of one that you can get to without a car.”

Jiff looked back at Joey, and then said “There isn’t one to my knowledge. As soon as I can get a hold of him, I’m going to have a friend of mine come who can do that sort of stuff.”

Joey looked at Jiff with surprise. “I thought you avoided making friends.”

“Well, this one is different. I avoided friends so that way dogs like Nox wouldn’t have any reason to do things like, well, what he did. But this friend of mine can handle himself pretty well. I have no reason to worry about him.”

“I guess he’s pretty strong then.” Joey said as they both kept walking.

“Hehehe.” Jiff chuckled as he looked up at the sky. He had a slight smile as he talked about some obviously fond memories from a long time ago. The first hint of emotion that Joey had seen from him all day. “Well, I guess you could say that.” His voice wasn’t quite emotionless, it showed that he was talking about something he held close to his heart. “He’s a pretty interesting guy. I’ve yet to figure him all out, and I don’t think I ever will.”

Jiff stopped walking and thought for a second. “I guess you could say he’s like most girls.”

“OH!” Joey remembered something very important with that statement. “I promised Squeak that we would go do something today! I have to go!”

Joey ran off in the opposite direction. But before he got too far away he turned and yelled “Oh yea, I forgot to tell you! Your fur looks good in light grey!” Then turned and kept running to his house.

Jiff kept walking along the sidewalk. I don’t really care if it looks good or not. I can’t stand my white fur. I’ve never really liked it, but I can barley look at it after that day…

He looked to his right. He was at the park. In the middle he saw Stealer playing with a bunch of the local pups. They would run and jump on him, he would pretend to fall down, then get back up and chase after them.

They were all laughing and having a great time. Stealer seemed to be great with pups. They would climb on him, try and nibble at his ears, they probably were accidently scratching him with their claws quite a bit, and they would hang off of every part of him that they could, including his tail. And yet, he was still having genuine fun with them.

Just like I used to. Jiff thought.

He walked into the park and sat on a bench. From there, he simply watched Stealer and the pups. There was just something about the way he handled them. The way he connected with them, the way they connected with him.

It was all too familiar to Jiff.

He laid his head back and simply listened to the laughter of the pups. It was so innocent, so carefree, so…

Relaxing.

It was so relaxing that it took him a moment to realize that it had stopped. When he looked back up, the pups were gone and Stealer was sitting next to him.

He was simply looking at the clouds as they went by.

“Thinking about someone?” Jiff asked.

Stealer just kept watching the clouds as he said “Just an old friend. And what we almost had.”

“Puppies?”

“Yea.” Stealer looked at Jiff. “We were real close. The first time I met you, I was trying to get over her. It surprised me when you were able to figure it out by simply looking in my eyes.”

He looked back at the clouds. “For a while I became obsessed with looking for you. I guess it was just my way of coping at the time. Once you came, I had nothing else to distract me from thinking about her. And now that’s all I can do. I can’t stop thinking about what might have been.”

Stealer looked back at Jiff. “What might have been. I sound like this happened years ago, not just a few months. Well, I guess it does feel like it happened years ago.”

“She really hurt you, didn’t she?” Jiff asked.

Stealer sighed. “More than you know.”

“And you still love her, don’t you?”

“Yes, yes I do.” Stealer fought to hold his tears back, although it wasn’t easy.

After a moment, he regained some of his composure. “I just don’t know where I went wrong. I thought we were happy together. If I knew that she wasn’t happy, I- I would have done something different.”

Jiff just sat quietly, thinking to himself.

Stealer looked at him. “What about you? I saw you watching me play with the puppies.”

Jiff snapped back to reality. “Yea, it just reminded me of my past. To be specific, a piece that I would rather forget.”

“Is it anything to do with any puppies that you may have fathered?”

The question took Jiff by total surprise. Why would that surprise me? It’s a totally reasonable question to ask given what we were just talking about.

… I know why. It wasn’t the question that surprised me, but how much Stealer sounded like, well… me when I was younger. It sounded like me right before… things changed.

Despite his surprise, Jiff maintained an emotionless look on his face. “I’ve never fathered a litter. I’ve never even been in love. However, I have raised a son.”

Stealer’s jaw nearly fell off. Even though he asked Jiff if he was a father, he had expected the answer to be no. Jiff just didn’t seem like the type to raise a family.

Jiff continued despite Stealer’s obvious surprise. “He wasn’t my son by blood, but he was in every other possible way. I found him as an abandoned pup in an alley in a city. He couldn’t have been any more than a week old at the time. I was little more than a stray. No food, shelter, or protection from the other strays that also roamed the streets. And yet, I still decided to take him in.”

“Why didn’t you find a shelter and drop him off?” Stealer asked.

“Because I already knew the shelter where I was wasn’t any good. That’s why I decided to take him in. It wasn’t easy to take care of him, I couldn’t even split what meager food I found with him, he was too young. He needed formula. Not something that was easy to come by in the dirty city, but I somehow managed. Of course, I usually went hungry just to make sure I could find enough to feed him, but he never did. I made sure of that.”

“That must have been quite hard on you.” Stealer said

Jiff nodded his head. “It was. I never stole anything either. Well, not without leaving some money behind to cover the cost anyway. Sometimes I would get lucky and find a loose bill on the street.”

Stealer tried to imagine what kind of life that must have been, but shook his head when he couldn’t. So instead he asked “So what did you do once he was old enough to eat solid food?”

Jiff answered. “The only smart thing there was to do. We left the city. Without the need for formula anymore, I had no reason to keep him in the city. For about four months I think, we walked in the country. I watched him grow, and we would often play just like just you and the pups a while ago.

“While food was harder to come by without a plentiful supply of garbage, I still made sure that he never went hungry.” A slight smile cracked Jiff’s lips as he said “He had quiet an appetite too, always wanted more.” Then went away just as quick as it appeared.

Stealer was desperate for Jiff to continue, but tried to hide it as he said “So what happened next?”

Jiff looked up at the clouds, much like Stealer had been doing earlier. “Well, we always moved from place to place, never staying in one spot for very long. It wasn’t easy, but we managed. Then one day, we just happened to come across someone who was very kind to us. He gave us food, water, and let us stay for the night at his house. Believe it or not, he was the first person to have ever done that for us.

“Well, I couldn’t just leave in the morning without giving him something in return. He lived in the middle of nowhere, the nearest town was probably thirty minutes away by car. So I decided to help him with some stuff around the house and property. He was glad for the help, but by the end of the day I was so tired that he insisted I stay another night. And I did. So to thank him, I helped him again the next day, and was tired at the end of the day. And so on and on and on. I just ended up staying there. I guess I had been adopted by that point.”

“What about the pup?” Stealer asked. He was dying to know what had happened to him.

“He grew.” Jiff answered. “He grew, and he started helping us. We both stayed real close. The only way we could have been closer is if he actually shared my DNA. Then… it happened.”

Stealer swallowed. “What happened?”

Jiff looked at Stealer. “Are you sure you want to know?”

“Tell me.” Stealer said.

“Alright, what happened was…”

TO BE CONTINUED...


*GASP*
What will happen next time? Will we learn anything about Jiff's son?
Will I update in a reasonable amount of time?
Will Brent turn into a dragon and create a tear in the fabric of time-space, entering my fic and wrecking havoc beyond my control?

Well, I don't know the answer to any of that. Except the one about Jiff's son. But I'm not telling about that.
Last edited by JeffCvt on Thu Jun 21, 2012 11:21 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by valerio »

you're good at cliffhangers.
Nice update, loved the puppies scene. :D
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by SilentPrincess828 »

Hooray! I quite liked this update and it has inspired me to work on my own!
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by JeffCvt »

valerio wrote:you're good at cliffhangers.
I try to be. I think that's one place that I don't need to work on.
valerio wrote:loved the puppies scene. :D
Well, it may have sorta kinda been inspired a little by your last update. :?
But I'm glad you liked it.
SilentPrincess828 wrote:it has inspired me to work on my own!
Hopefully you'll have it soon. I want more Pochi!! :lol:
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by copper »

Well, what a twist! Jiff the daddy, never would have guessed. :D

Seems we have a sad update coming up, and a way of knowing why Jiff is the way he is.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by JeffCvt »

Yes, Jiff the dad. And I'm not really sure how sad the next update will be, I do have Sasha in it and so far it's not really sad. And you will all probably hate me right at the beginning of it. Although it will end up explaining why Jiff is the way he is. Some of it anyway.

I'm not really sure what everyone is thinking right now for what may have happened that he doesn't want to talk about, and the guesses are probably all over the place. I guess we'll find out in time...
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by legendario13 »

ThAt Cliffhanger!!
You said it was a long post...Not enough, just not enough
A moment of enlightenment...aaaaand it's gone
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by Almost_Alice »

Oh my, oh my...
Ignore the Alice in my username.
Please, just call me Arlice.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by JeffCvt »

Alright, it's not as long as I wanted it to be. There were a few ideas I had that just didn't seem to really work, but I got it done.


Enjoy

Stealer swallowed. “What happened?”

Jiff looked at Stealer. “Are you sure you want to know?”

“Tell me.” Stealer said.

“Alright, what happened was…”

“Jiff! Stealer!” Someone called from behind.

They both turned and saw Sasha walking toward them, waving. She had that characteristic smile that she always seemed to have.

Jiff sighed. “Sorry Stealer, me and Sasha have some stuff to talk about. We’ll just have to finish another time.”

“What are you both talking about?” Sasha asked as she came within earshot of their conversation.

Stealer looked at Jiff, then back to Sasha and said “We were talking about… puppies.”

Sasha grew all excited when she heard that. “Puppies?! I love puppies! They’re just so soft and cute and playful and fluffy and I just want to hug them every time I see them!” She said as she gave herself a hug.

Stealer stood up and stretched. “Well, I have to go now Sasha, sorry I can’t stay.” He turned and addressed Jiff. “I hope we can continue the conversation that we were having another time. I would really like to finish it.” Then he walked away.

Jiff faced Sasha. “It’s no wonder everyone thinks that you’re an airhead.”

She blushed. “I can’t help how I sound when I get excited.” She sat down where Stealer had been sitting only a few seconds ago. “Besides, it’s nice not having others expect that much of me.”

Jiff leaned back and looked at the sky. “It must be nice not having any responsibilities. Ever since I can remember, I have been responsible for something. I envy pets like you. You just have to wake up, get fed, and then go out and play with your friends. No stress or worry in day-to-day life.”

Jiff looked over to Sasha when she didn’t respond. She was twittling her thumbs in her lap. “Yea, no worries.” She eventually said.

“Are you still worried over your feelings for Bino?” Jiff asked as he straightened himself out.

She simply nodded her head as she continued to stare at her twittling thumbs.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jiff asked.

Sasha stopped twittling her thumbs and looked at Jiff. “It’s just, I know Kyria wants to be with him, but so do I. I never told her that I feel the same way about Bino that she does. So when she told me that she felt the way she did about him, I told Bino that I thought they were cute together when I saw them and that I was going to try and go out with his brother so I wouldn’t get between them and that she had a crush on him too and-”

Sasha took a deep breath in. She had gotten so worked up that she had forgotten she needed to breathe in order to keep talking for a second. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to ramble like that.”

Jiff was nodding his head. “It’s alright. I think I got what you were trying to say. Kyria told you how she felt about Bino, and you didn’t want that to get between the friendship that both of you had. So you dumped him before Kyria could find out you felt the same way, but now you’re torn on the inside whether you want to stay friends with Kyria or try and become Bino’s girlfriend again and possibly hurt her in the process.”

“Exactly.” Sasha said as she went back to twittling her thumbs.

“Does Bino know you feel so strongly for him?”

Sasha kept her eyes on her thumbs as she said “I don’t think so. I’ve always kind of flirted with Fido, his brother.”

“I know who he is.” Jiff said.

“Right. I- I don’t mean to flirt with him. It’s just that I get so excited when I see him, I can’t help it.”

“You mean like the ‘I want your poppies’ sign you had when he came back from the academy?”

Sasha’s face immediately turned a deep shade of red. “How do you know about that?!”

Jiff shifted in his seat to get more comfortable . “I’ve learned to gather information over the years. Have you forgotten about that?”

Sasha was still red as she said “N- no. I just didn’t think you would look for stuff like that.”

Jiff chucked real quick before he became devoid of any emotion once again. “I look for everything that I can. While I try not to dig into others personal lives without reason, some stuff does come through the cracks.” He looked Sasha right in her eyes. “And I can tell you this; Bino has not made a decision about anything yet. Right now he’s mostly confused. My advice to you, tell Kyria how you feel and then let him choose. He may not choose for several years yet, but don’t worry about it in the mean time. Life is too short to worry about things you have no control over.” He broke eye contact and leaned back once again. “Trust me, I’ve done enough of that in my life.”

Sasha lowered her gaze to the ground. “That’s going to be hard to do. I can’t just not think about something like this.”

“Give it time. It’ll get easier. Trust me on this.”

“Alright, I will.” Sasha said as she stood up. “Thank you for the advice. I’m going to go think of a way to tell Kyria how I feel about Bino without sounding… desperate I guess.”

Jiff nodded at her as she turned and walked away.

Sasha doesn’t deserve this kind of worry in her life. She is so kind hearted, even if she still is kind of dense at times. She’s even letting me stay in her doghouse again. Without that, I would probably be in the shelter right now, unable to walk around like this. *Yawn* Boy, it’s only about 5:30 and I’m already feeling tired today. I should get up and go to the shelter right now, but I’m just so comfortable right now. Maybe I could just rest my eyes. Only for a second though, just a… slight… second. “ZZZZZZ.”

-----

“Hey mister.”

“Huh?”

“Are you awake mister?”

“Wha?” Jiff opened his eyes and looked around. I must have fallen asleep. I wonder what time it is?

“Hi mister!”

Jiff looked down and saw a black puppy standing right in front of him. The puppy had some white fur on his chest and he was smiling at him. “Hey mister, my name is Cliff!” Cliff’s tail was going about a mile a minute.

Jiff smiled back as he said “Hey there Cliff, what’s an energetic pup like you doing in the park alone?”

“I was here with my friends playing catch but then they all had to go and now I have no one to play with but then I saw you and wanted to know if you could come play with me?”

Jiff chuckled at Cliff’s eagerness to play. One of the only things that could get Jiff to show genuine emotion was an energetic puppy. “I’m sorry Cliff, I didn’t mean to fall asleep here. I have somewhere that I need to go right now.”

All of the puppy’s energy seemed to go away. “Oh, ok.”

Jiff rubbed Cliff’s head as he said “Maybe we could play another time, how does that sound?”

Cliff immediately became excited again as he said “Maybe we could play tomorrow can we play tomorrow we could come here and I could bring my friends and we will all have fun please please please?”

Jiff chuckled again. “Alright, we’ll play tomorrow. Bring all of your friends and we’ll have fun all day long.”

“YAY!!” Cliff yelled before he ran off, no doubt to go tell his parents or invite all of his friends.

Jiff watched the pup until he disappeared from view. I haven’t seen a pup with such energy in a long time. It feels nice to be able to play with him instead of trying to push him away from me so he won’t get involved with my search or find out who I really am. This town has such a peaceful feel to it that I may actually stay for a little while. Or a long while, a long while would be better.

But first thing is first. I need to go to the shelter now. I’m late enough as it is.


-----

Nox looked up as Jiff walked in. “You’re later than usual.”

“Are you expecting me to give you an excuse?”

“… I guess not. I know you better than that. You’re just going to ask me the same thing that you do every day. Where is your student?”

Jiff crossed his arms. “And I trust you’re still not going to tell me?”

A sly smile came across Nox’s face. “Well, I’ve been thinking. Since I have nothing to lose if I tell you, I guess I will. But only if you tell me something first.”

This caught Jiff by surprise. “And that something is?”

“Why do you want to find him so bad? He never told me, and I wanted to know what he did to make you want to kill him so bad.”

With a speed almost too fast to be seen by that naked eye, Jiff reached through the bars and pulled Nox right to them. When he spoke, it was with a tone so dark and cold that it could have made a demon cry. “I want to find him so I can repay him for killing my son.”

END


Now, I have a surprise planned in the upcoming week or two. I debated whether or not to do this, and I decided that I would. I just hope that it turns out to be a good decision. (For anyone that I may have PMed asking about this, please don't spoil it ;) )

And in the meantime, I have something that I would like to post to make up for the took longer and shorter than expected update.
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This is a picture of Kyria. The real Kyria. I based Kyria's look in my story from the actual Kyria. Figured you all might enjoy this. :D
Last edited by JeffCvt on Fri Jul 06, 2012 8:30 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by 0404 »

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Is she your cat? god, she is cute. I wanna Hug her!
but I fing my cat more cute :P
please don't spoil it )
*Lipziped*
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by JeffCvt »

Yes she is, however, she is an outdoor kitty. She doesn't really like coming inside.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by MapleRatty »

This rocked, I wonder how that conversation between Sasha and Kyria will go.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by valerio »

Soooooo much cuteness inside this update, youpi!
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by copper »

Cute Kyria Causes Calamity.... I can just see the alliterative Newspaper headlines now...

So Jiff will soon know and Nox now knows that Jiff's student killed his son.... is that like how Darth Vader killed Luke's Father? :|
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by JeffCvt »

valerio wrote:Soooooo much cuteness inside this update, youpi!
The conversation with Sasha didn't last as long as I had planned, so how could I resist putting an awesome pup like Cliff in?
Otaku-Boy wrote:I wonder how that conversation between Sasha and Kyria will go.
copper wrote:Cute Kyria Causes Calamity
Something for me to think about.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by legendario13 »

...repay him for killing my son.”

Boom! just like that... you really got me off guard.

very good

Edit: I almost forgot: ...with but then I was you and...
You mean Saw?
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by JeffCvt »

Alright everyone, as you have probably seen by now, I have started another fic called Everchanging Hearts: A story of Father and Son.

This is a story based on Jiff's life before his student attempted to kill him. This story is also written in first person unlike Burning Desire, which is in third. Now that I have the first two parts out for Everchanging Hearts, I will be maintaining a rough 1 to 1 update ratio between these two fics. That's not to say it will be 1 to 1, there may be times I update one twice in a row and wait a little longer to update the other, but I won't start working on only one for an extended period of time.

If you read this fic, you will probably have to read the other as well to get some of Jiff's behaviors and things he says. I plan on keeping both well intertwined with each other. A problem brought up in Everchanging Hearts might not be solved until Burning Desire. I even plan on introducing a new character at the same time in both stories.

I hope you enjoy having two stories at the same time, and I hope you also deal with any accidental change of narration in either story. I will do my best to keep this one in third and Everchanging Hearts in first, just give me a little time to get used to it.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by legendario13 »

Yeah I saw it already
:lol:
thanks for the info, i'll try to track both stories really close, so i dont get lost
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by sean21 »

sorry i haven't commented in a while, i've been very busy.

1. Kyria certainly got her revenge.

2. Kupid strikes again.

3. i have a guess: that pup he raised is he's evil student... 4. welp looks like i was wrong.

5. lol i've always wanted to say this: no; it cant be, Kyria's cuteness, its over ninethousand!!!!!!

6. a second fiction... *click click click* where is it!
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by JeffCvt »

I want to let you all know that I am working on the next part. It's looking to actually be a decent length this time, my last few updates have been pretty much the minimum length that I like to put out, mainly for reasons of writers block and wanting to get them done so I could start Everchanging Hearts.

I have the next part in such a way that I can pretty much write whatever I feel like at the time and no matter what, I can make it make sense. The update will finally (Maybe) clear some things up about Jiff, his son, and his student. And there may be a slight chance that I could possibly maybe do something like, I don't know... reveal his former students name.

So you should all look forward to this. Once I'm done. Sometime soon. I hope.
Probably sooner than SilentPrincess has her next update anyway. :P (I joke because we are friends in real life and I can probably get away with it.)
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by valerio »

oh, don't worry.
We are here.
Waiting....
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by SilentPrincess828 »

valerio wrote:oh, don't worry.
We are here.
Waiting....
Always...
You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by copper »

Waiting and waiting and waiting.... and waiting.


It is fun to wait for exciting things! :D

Just take your time and make it a quality work.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by JeffCvt »

You all respond several days after I say that I will have it soon. Oh well, it's coming along. It's already longer than the last few updates and I'm not done yet. After this one, I will update Everchanging Hearts, and then I think I should finally introduce Peanut and Grape (Or at the very least Peanut) into this story. I mean, it takes place in Babylon Gardens and I haven't even mentioned them yet, that's just sad. And I'm thinking that I will make it an emotional update when I do it too. So, look forward to that too I guess.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by copper »

Sounds good to me, I must say. And who needs the main characters anyway? :roll:
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by Karl »

JeffCvt wrote:You all respond several days after I say that I will have it soon.
People expected an update when they saw that you posted while browsing Fan Projects section. It's normal that they got petrified and shocked as they saw something else ;p
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by JeffCvt »

So, this isn't an update here. It is simply a super-long explanation as to why I didn't have it finished today.
*Angry mob gathers*
Uhhh... I'm just kidding guys
*Gets pummeled*

Enjoy

Jiff ducked as he walked into the doghouse that he called home for now. He immediately collapsed onto one of the beanbags. Not as comfortable as an actual bed would be, but he found it to be more comfortable than just a bunch of blankets and a few pillows. It’s not like a bed would fit anyway.

As he laid his head back and relaxed, he thought about the conversation he just had with Nox.

All the time that I spent there. All of the times that I asked him and it turns out he didn’t know. I thought I finally had it when he said he would tell me, but it turns out they had a rendezvous planned for a week after our fight. A time neither of us could even leave the hospital. *Sigh* It’s been way too long to even pick up any trail that may have been left. Nox has no idea where he might have gone. The trail has gone ice cold.

Jiff yawned and repositioned himself on the beanbag to a lying position. I guess it’s for the better though. I need a break from all of the traveling around that I’ve done. And this town is as good as any. Well, better actually.

Jiff yawned again. Well, staying or not, it’s time to do something that I’ve wanted to do all day. He closed his eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep, awaiting the moment that he entered his one escape from his day to day stress, his dreams.

-----

Jiff opened his eyes and looked around the doghouse. Something felt strange, like the walls weren’t real. Everything just seemed… too bright. Too easy to see.

He looked outside to see if the sun was up, but all he saw was a bright white shining in the doghouse. It was almost like a light being shined in his face, but he could look at it just fine. He didn’t need to shield his eyes or look away.

There is something strange here. Jiff thought. This isn’t right, I’m not in Sasha’s doghouse right now. Everything just feels… fake. Like I could change it just by thinking about it.

… There can only be one explanation for this. *Sigh* And here I thought I would have a good night’s sleep. Silly me.

Jiff stepped out of the doghouse and into the whiteness. All around him it was nothing but white. He turned around and sure enough, the doghouse was gone. Nothing but white remained.

“It seems that you’ve already figured out what’s going on.” A voice came out of nowhere, yet sounded like it was everywhere at once. “And I was hoping that I could have a little fun before you figured it out. Oh well…”

“What are you doing in my dreams Ferno?” Jiff looked around as he spoke, half expecting to see something although he knew that he wouldn’t.

“What am I doing in your dreams? Weren’t you just asking Nox where I was not too long ago? I thought you would be happy to see me.” The voice said sarcastically.

Jiff kept looking around as he spoke. “I would have preferred seeing you physically, not some mental connection that lets you worm your way into my dreams.”

“HAHAHAHA!” Ferno’s voice boomed. “Well my physical body is here in your dream. I had to literally insert my entire being to talk to you.”

Jiff raised an eyebrow. “So your physical body is here in my dream? I assume in some way that I can’t get to it?”

“That would be correct.”

“Of course.” Jiff mumbled to himself. “What are you planning to do? It can’t be easy inserting yourself into someone’s dream, and I doubt that you just wanted to talk.”

“What am I planning? Instead of telling you, why don’t I just SHOW YOU!”

And with that statement, Jiff felt himself suddenly being pulled forward by an invisible force. He was rocketing through his memories from earlier in the day. So he can see into my memories. What could he be bringing up?

Suddenly, he came to a halt. He was watching himself during his conversation with Cliff earlier. The excited pup was talking to him, trying to get him to play with him.

“Why are you showing this to me Ferno? I know what happened, it was only today.”

Instead of a response, the dream slowly came to a halt, almost like someone had paused it. When Jiff blinked, everything changed. He now stood in front of a mirror, surrounded by darkness everywhere else.

In the mirror, Jiff didn’t see himself but an older version of himself. Perhaps in another ten or so years when he would be at his age limit.

Not following his own movements, his “reflection” turned around and walked to a tombstone that was only in the mirror. While the real Jiff couldn’t see it because the reflection was in the way, he knew what it was.

“You’re so lonely.” Ferno’s voice came once again. “You agreed to play with that pup before because he reminded you of that weakling son of yours. You long for the chance to see him again someday.”

Jiff’s reflection slowly moved to the side, giving the actual Jiff a view of the tombstone.

“But you will never see him again.” Ferno said.

“Cinder” was written on the front of the stone.

“The you that you see in the mirror is the part of you that has given in and accepted the fact that your precious son is dead and you won’t ever see him again. However, some part of you still clings to the hope that you will. You try to shut this part away, it’s the part of you that shows emotion, that shows weakness. You try to shut it away, but you just couldn’t when you saw Cliff. That’s why you wanted to play with him.”

Jiff looked away from the mirror. “I already know all of this. And you know that I know all of this. Why else are you showing all of this to me?”

“Why else? To remind you that he IS gone and that you will never have him back. I made sure of that a long time ago. Don’t you still feel guilty about that? Like you could have saved him if you only hadn’t said it would be alright? Those were your very last words to him. It’s going to be alright, I promise.

Jiff closed his eyes and hung his head. When he spoke, it was in a soft tone. “I know I said that, and I shouldn’t have. I knew very well that things might not have turned out alright. You have to believe me, I’m truly sorry for what I said that day.”

“WELL IT’S A LITTLE LATE FOR THAT NOW, ISN’T IT?!” Ferno yelled. There was a slight pause for a moment while Ferno gained control of himself before he spoke again. “Your son is gone. He will never walk the face of this earth again. I put him out of his misery four years ago.”

When Jiff opened his eyes, he was looking in the mirror again. But instead of seeing himself or the tombstone, he saw Cinder. He tried to reach up and touch his son, even if it was only a reflection in a dream, but Cinder vanished before Jiff could make contact with the mirror.

“I will kill you if it’s the last thing I do Ferno. I swear on Cinder’s life that I will.” Jiff said with clenched fists.

“I’d like to see you try.” Ferno said.

Almost instantly, the mirror disappeared and the park from Babylon Gardens appeared. It was pouring out. Right in front of him, Jiff saw himself, passed out on the ground. Not too far away, he saw Nox in a similar state of unconsciousness.

“You were barely able to survive the fight you had with Nox.” Ferno’s voice once again came. “And you know that I’m much tougher than him.”

“And you know that I’ll be stronger when I finally find you than I was when I fought Nox.”

“… True. But that won’t make a difference in the end because I’m going to finish you off RIGHT HERE!”

The park around Jiff disappeared and the grass all turned to quicksand. For miles around him, nothing but quicksand. As he started to sink, Jiff kept his cool and simply lied on his back. “Nice try Ferno, but quicksand doesn’t suck people under like in the movies. You can float in it, just like I’m doing now.”

“Then how about this?”

The quicksand turned into asphalt, trapping Jiff in his lying position. Through the corner of his eye, he saw a truck coming straight at him. The truck was going to run him over. A moment before impact, Jiff closed his eyes.

The instant he did, he felt like he was standing up. He opened them to see that he was now standing in an endless hallway. The walls were a bright blue from top to bottom. Jiff reached out to touch one.

The second that he did, the walls immediately turned into water and crashed in around him. As surprised as Jiff was, he kept his cool and swam up as fast as he could. When his head finally popped above water, he took a deep breath in and looked around. He was in the middle of an endless ocean. Not only that, there were five fins circling him. He was surrounded by sharks that were all looking to go after him.

One of the sharks broke off and jumped out of the water right at him. Jiff brought his fist back and punched right at it, but made contact with a lion instead. He was now standing on solid ground. To be more specific, he was standing in a cage with a hungry lion.

“Don’t you see Jiff?” Ferno’s voice said. “I can kill you whenever I want. I’ve simply been toying with you until now.”

“Then hit me with whatever you got.” Jiff said, not taking his eyes off of the lion. The lion charged, Jiff punched, and Ferno changed the dream once again.

-----

For what seemed like hours Jiff was trapped in an endless cycle of dreams. Every time he would be put in a life threatening situation, only to have the dream change right before any harm would actually come to him. There was no end to it, and Ferno didn’t seem like he was going to stop anytime soon.

Which is why it surprised Jiff when it suddenly stopped. He found himself once again in the white space where this had all started.

“Why did you stop?” Jiff asked. “Things were just starting to get fun.”

“WHY… ARE YOU… NOT AFRAID?” It was quite obvious that Ferno was trying to hold his anger and frustration back. It was also obvious that he was failing at doing so.

“Why am I not afraid? Afraid of what? Were you trying to scare me or something?”

Ferno just exploded. “YES I WAS! WHAT DO YOU THINK I’VE BEEN TRYING TO DO THIS ENTIRE TIME?!” Jiff was sure that if he could see Ferno’s face, it would be bright red from the sheer effort he was putting into his yelling. “I PUT YOU AT THE BOTTOM OF AN OCEAN, YOU JUST SWIM UP! I PUT YOU IN A CAGE WITH A LION, YOU PUNCH IT! I DROP YOU OUT OF A PLANE WITH NO PARACHUTE; YOU SIMPLY DIVE STRAIGHT AT THE GROUND AS IF HITTING IT HEAD ON WON’T KILL YOU! I COULD KILL YOU AT ANY MOMENT, YET YOU JOKE WITH ME! WHY AREN’T YOU SCARED!?

Jiff spoke calmly and surely despite everything that Ferno had just yelled. “Why should I be? This is only a dream. You couldn’t harm me even if you wanted to.”

“…” There was no response from Ferno.

Jiff continued. “That’s why you were changing the situation before any harm came to me. If something actually happened, I would realize that you couldn’t hurt me. Your actual goal was probably to scare me and make me doubt myself.”

“… Out of everyone I’ve ever known, you’re the only one I could never fool.” Ferno said just loud enough for Jiff to hear.

“You’ve gone to a great length in order to do this. I don’t know if you’ve gained the ability to do this yourself or if you found someone who did it for you. But either way, you will never enter another dream of mine again. Well, you won’t want to anyway.”

At that statement, Ferno laughed. “Why would I stop entering your dreams!? I can’t hurt you, but that doesn’t mean I can’t give you a bad night’s sleep every night for the rest of your life. You’ll eventually become so tired, you won’t be able to function as a normal member of society.”

“I think I’ll show you what I mean.” Jiff said as he held his arm straight out. He started to slowly close his fingers, like he was grabbing something.

“Wait- What’s going on?” Ferno said right before he started gasping and coughing, trying anything he could to breath.

“I’m choking you.” Jiff said as he momentarily stopped closing his hand.

“H- How?” Ferno spurted out.

“This is my dream. And because it’s mine, I can do anything that I want. Like choke someone that I can’t even see. It’s not even that hard.”

“But- But-”

“I’ve been letting you control the dream up until now, but not anymore. You said that you had to actually insert your physical body into my dream. That means while you can’t hurt me, I can hurt you. And anything I do to you here will have real world effects on you. Including death.”

“W-What?”

“This is it Ferno. I’m sorry that it had to end this way, but no matter what, I will always-”

“Jiff.”

What? Jiff thought. That wasn’t Ferno talking. What’s going on?

“Jiff, wake up please.”

The dream started to fade away. It was too late, Ferno would escape by pure luck.

Everything faded away as Jiff slowly gained consciousness.

-----

“Jiff, are you awake?” Sasha asked.

“I think so.” He mumbled. “What time is it?”

“It’s… about 1:00 in the morning. I don’t mean to bother you like this, but daddy accidently locked me out of the house again. Whenever that happened, I would come here and sleep for the night. I was about to, but I didn’t want to bother you ‘caus you live here now. So I was going to ask some of my friends if I could stay with them, but then I remembered that they were all asleep and I would have to knock on the front door until someone in the house woke up and that would be rude in the middle of the night so I came here anyway and wanted to just make sure that you don’t mind if I slept here with you tonight.”

*Sigh* “No, I don’t mind Sasha.” Jiff said as he scooted over to make room for her to lie down in the dog house.

“Thank you.” She said as she got on one of the bean bags.

Right before they were ready to fall asleep, Sasha asked “Jiff, I didn’t wake you up from a good dream, did I? You didn’t seem to want to come out of it.”

“… No. I was actually having a nightmare. Thank you for waking me up.” Jiff then turned over, closed his eyes, and slept.

END
Last edited by JeffCvt on Fri Jul 20, 2012 2:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by copper »

Ferno, a nice name indeed... Wonder how the son died.

So this is not like freddy, but dreamscape, eh? Interesting.

Poor Sasha, ruining Jiff's best chance without ever realizing it, so sad.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by JeffCvt »

copper wrote:So this is not like freddy, but dreamscape, eh? Interesting.
Well, A Nightmare on Elm Street was my inspiration for this. I never actually heard of dreamscape and just looked it up. Seems to be interesting.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by copper »

JeffCvt wrote:
copper wrote:So this is not like freddy, but dreamscape, eh? Interesting.
Well, A Nightmare on Elm Street was my inspiration for this. I never actually heard of dreamscape and just looked it up. Seems to be interesting.

:shock: There is something called Dreamscape? I had no idea.....
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by Karl »

I think you're doing okay. The thing with dream manipulation was an interesting idea and it also brought the main villan closer. Now I wonder what will happen another day and will Ferno strike again.

Now, there's one thing I want you to look at:
“The you that you see in the mirror is the part of you that has given in and accepted the fact that your precious son is dead and you won’t ever see him again. However, some part of you still clings to the hope that you will see him again."
They are known as repetitive errors. They're not welcome because they ruin the aesthetic of your text. You must watch out on them.
At this case, you cannot end both sentences with same words. if you used one in one sentence, there must be a substitute in the sentence after it.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by JeffCvt »

Oh, yes Karlos. I actually already look out for those and I usually end up doing that a lot whenever I take a break and come back. I'll fix it right away.

I usually have a ton of that in my handwritten notes. That's why I try to type then up in one day once I'm done, to help prevent that kind of thing.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by valerio »

Loved this update!
Ferno is a cool villain with a cool name, though Prowler still kicked his tail.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by legendario13 »

Jiff lost his chance.
but was Ferno just bluffing or he really is at babylon gardens?
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by JeffCvt »

Ferno never said he was in Babylon Gardens. He used magic from a very far distance.
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by legendario13 »

oh, I thought that because he said he would kill jiff in that same park so you know I was speculating... Ferno is going to go to gardens right
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Re: Burning Desire: The Power Within

Post by JeffCvt »

Ferno was saying that he would kill Jiff in the dream. Even though he couldn't, he was actually trying to just scare Jiff. However, Jiff knew Ferno couldn't hurt him and that he was able to hurt Ferno.

And I'm still thinking about that. I kinda want to keep most of Rick's characters out of this now.
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