alpha male

What do you call a fic that's not a fic

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sean21
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alpha male

Post by sean21 »

This thread is a fan fiction, I didn’t add that to the title because I knew Mr. dissension would move it to someone else’s, I believe he still could; I’m just hoping he won’t, I would also like to thank Mr. Tenreu for the tip about Mr. justaritic’s thread, I had completely forgotten about fan fiction, I honestly don’t know how it slipped my mind, now understand my typing skills are not as advanced as his, which I’m going to feel silly trying to compete, however I have a few good ideas that I want to established; so please if you don’t like it don’t comment, i choose to post this one first because its my favorite.

before we start i just need to point out i'm not very good at coming up with names, thats why he has my name, which i could change at any time, any suggestions would be nice

Standing outside Miles watches his three pups play a game, suddenly without warning Sean jump up and clings onto Miles’s back and says: “gotcha.” without budging Miles says: “oh hey Sean, how are you?” Sean climbs down but keeps his hands on Miles’s shoulders and says: “that's so cool; you can lift me without even trying.” Miles replies: “how else am I supposed to protect my pack?” Sean says: “speaking of which; lately I’ve wanted to wrestle you.” Miles turns his head and Sean continues: “but the only chance of that happening is if I challenge you’re dominates.” As Sean wraps his forearm around Miles’s neck he says: “so what do you say?” Miles grins then grabs a hold of Sean’s arm, Sean tries including: “oh and no using your claaaaaaws.” Thud, Miles had thrown Sean over his shoulder, Miles says with enthusiasm: “gave up yet?” In a daze Sean says: “alright, your dominant male; but I’ll want a rematch.” as Miles goes back to watching his pups he says: “let me know when you’re ready.”

See I’m not as good as the others but I can paint a small picture, I haven’t been working on this one lately so thats all i have for it right now, but if you want in the mean time while I think of more I could post another short story
Last edited by sean21 on Sat Mar 10, 2012 11:56 am, edited 3 times in total.
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by Foxstar »

Moving to proper area, please remember fourm ratings when writing, thanks.
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sean21
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

lol your welocome

i dont know about anyone else but i liked it, its cute, and yes i would like to read more of your stories

also if you dont mind me saying a story is better when there's an itrodution of the character, you know like how Sean and Miles knows each other, its just a thought ^_^


Alex's post
Last edited by sean21 on Sat Mar 10, 2012 11:19 am, edited 3 times in total.
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

for your information i do have a back story for them; which i probably should have posted first, my bad, i'll put it in the next one tomorrow but anyways here's that other one, it doesn't continue just to let you know

It first shows us looking at a record

[spaced to center]= SILVERBACK WOLF

Name-Miles
Gender-male
Eyes-blue
Age-unknown
Hight-6” foot 4”
Weight-unknown
Teeth-sharp and in good condition
Aggressiveness-none
Daily diet-raw meat (test for rabies)
Mate-Lucretia, brother-Daryl, three pups-frequently changing
Occupation-the silverback wolf is prone for the wild but this particular subject enjoys a comfy house where he tries to fit among humans, I will continue to study Miles as he gains everyone’s acceptance.

it then shows Miles looking onto a book or journal that reads Sean’s collab on the cover and he says: “how interesting, the character in this book is exactly like me.”
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

lol he thinks it's a book, Rick should total use that, what do you say Rick, you know you want to

Alex's post
Last edited by sean21 on Sat Mar 10, 2012 11:19 am, edited 3 times in total.
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

Here’s the improved version, some of you are going to be wondering; how my writing suddenly changed, well the thing is I’m somewhat of a lazy person, I wanted to use ‘armature writing skills’ as an excuse to not use up so much time in typing my article, but when Mr. Foxstar had told me that motto I decided to stop beating around the bush, but I too have not heard that saying before; mostly because half the time I try working alone, I rarely speak to other writers, and I don’t ask for tips, not realizing don’t waste the readers time means don’t add unnecessary information I already had a portion of it done, and so I thought to myself why not finish what I started, I took my time re-writing it so I hope you enjoy, this is how my stories are going to be written from now on.

The title of this chapter is call-a new face appears

During the middle of the day while the sun varies high a light purple van drives through the neighborhood, viewing from the passenger’s side a man with yellow hair curling at the ends, wearing a pal suit, having dark ocean blue eyes he says with relief “there’s my old house.” he slowly pulls into the driveway trying not to hit the curve, baffled he says “funny I thought someone would have moved in by now, it’s been a couple years.”

he steps out of his vehicle and gripped his shamrock green suitcase then walks to the front door where he take out his once used often house key and says with concern “I wonder if my key still works.” aligning it in the hole he then turns it but there is no clicking sound “it’s not locked, did I forgot to when I left.” He says with a worried tone,

He enters then softly closes the door behind him, staggering through the living room he drags his suitcase from exhaustion then declares “boy it’s good to be home, I can’t wait to unwind.” on his way to the bathroom he passes by a bedroom where there are three kid wolves playing, knocking things over, and even wrestling each other, he pocks his head back into the doorway and stares at them for a few moments, “why are there wolves jumping on my bed?” he finally says while scratching his head,

One turns his head to the man watching them play, “an intruder, get him.” He demanded while pointing his finger, knowing it couldn’t be avoided he lets out a long sigh as they dog pile him to the floor, coming to check up on his children Miles walks into the room, seeing them pin the man down he puts his hands on his hips then says with a scolding tone “guys what did I tell you about jumping on guests before lunch.”

“but dad he’s not a guest, he’s an intruder.” Complained the one form earlier, the mysteries man then stands up with them firmly holding on to his limbs, in frustrated he says “no you’re the intruders for this is my house.” “But we bought this house; the state said it was empty.” Said Miles Looking puzzled,

Realizing he was talking to the new owner of his house the mysterious man turns around to greet him “oh so you’re the new...” he stopped when he saw the person behind him was actually a big muscular wolf, “wait a minute you’re a wild animal, how can you own a house?” he asked with irritation,

“it’s the new state law; I’m a legal pet owner.” Miles tries explaining, as the man pries the pups off his arm and legs he says with his voice getting louder “that makes no sense, you practically are a pet; I should just...”

Realizing he was being offensive he stops himself then says cheerfully “sorry it seems I’ve forgotten my manners, let’s start over.” Sean purposed a greetings of the hands and says with a warm friendly smile “hi my name is Sean.” Accepting his offer Miles grabs his hand and relies “I’m Miles nice to meet you.” suddenly Miles’s face turns sour and he says “not to be rude but you stick like a zoo.”

eagerness to explain Sean says “that’s because I’m a zoo keeper for the next city over, but right now I’m on vacation.” A little upset Miles replies “don’t take this the wrong way; but I had a bad experience with a zoo.” “Really how so?” Sean says with concern on his face, after Miles tells him the story Sean responds with sympathy “wow that sucks; it seems like a huge misunderstanding.”

Sean closes his eyes and begins to brainstorm for a few minutes, when he was done he lifts up his finger and says with joy “hey I have an idea; I could be your owner, that way it doesn’t happen again.” Miles replies while shaking his head from lift to right “I appreciate the jester but I do not wish to be a pet.” rejected Sean’s words then become gloomy “I see, well then how about we just be roommates, I don’t really have anywhere else to stay?”

“that’s fine with me.” Miles says with passion, Sean cuffs his hands together from Miles’s answer, almost as if he was begging and says “thank you so much, you won’t regret it.” Flailing his arms around Sean says with distress “now if you don’t mind I’m going to take a shower.” covering his nose Miles then steps out of the way and says with a muffled voice “not at all.” While in the shower Sean washing his hair full of soap and thinks out loud in annoyance “that’s just my luck, I take a vacation to be away from animals and now I’m living with them.”

As Sean’s tone slightly changes he says “I guess it’s not too bad though, I love all animals; some people even say I’m...” Noticing the door was open Lucretia walks into the bathroom and asks “hunny did your voice change?”

she pulls back the curtains, almost slipping Sean covers his private spot then screams “AAAH OCCUPIED.” Even more puzzled she proclaims “you’re not Miles.” after that awkward encounter Sean stands next to the front door where he illustrate “hey Miles I’m going out for a little bit; if I’m not back by nightfall go ahead and lock the door, I have a key.” worried Miles replies “you’re not going to be drink are you; because there’s a law about drinking and driving?”

while Sean puts on his blue Levi jacket he says with consideration “no silly; those days are behind me now, I’m going to see who still lives in town; and if I can still remember their names.” Sean opens the door, while having his fingers on the doorknob Miles says “ok, thanks for letting me know.” “no problem, roomie.” Sean replies with a chuckle,

Sean closes the door behind him, walking to the curve Sean turns around wondering who he should visit first, “oh.” Was the only thing he could say after seeing Bill’s house, he continues “he hates me; maybe I shouldn’t even bother with him.” Trying to ease himself he says “come on; do it for Fox, he’ll be happy to see you.” Sean lets out a big sigh then heads towards Bill’s house,

Up to the door, inch by inch he moves his finger to the doorbell, ding dong, during the sound of the bell he was regretting had pushed it, Bill opens the door with some force, “who is it?” he exclaims in annoyance,

swallowing the saliva in the back of his throat Sean puts on a fake smile then says trying not to chock on his own words “hey Bill; long time no see, how have you been?” Bill stares at him through his dark sunglasses for a few moments then says without really caring “who are you again?” trying to keep his smile Sean thinks “really he doesn’t remember me?” “it’s me Sean; I was your next door neighbor.” he says continuing the lousy conversation, Bill throws back his head in remembrance then says “oh that’s right.” Purposely causing tension with a mocking attitude Bill points his finger at Sean then says “you’re that furry lover.”

Sean’s smile quickly vanished; wanting to strangle Bill till his eyes popped out of those ridicules sunglasses he asks “hey you wouldn’t happen to still be a cop would you?” as Bill fixes or tightens his pants he proudly announces “yes sir I most certainly am.” softly Sean says “dang.” “well then can I at least say hi to Fox?” asking another redundant question, “he’s not home.” Bill replies,

Puzzled with Bill’s words Sean thinks “then he must be out with Bino.” Delighted Sean stuck out his hand and says “well thanks anyways, I guess I’ll see you around.” Bill gazes at Sean’s hand then shuts the door, “I can see his manners haven’t improved.” Sean complained,

Walking back to the street he utters with a guarantee “next I’ll go say hi to Peanut, he’ll really be happy to see me.” before crossing the street Sean looking both ways, on the other side he begins to sidetrack noticing the town looks the same form the last time he had been there,

while Peanut is playing a game and Grape tries getting some sleep they hear three knocks at the door, quickly jumping up Peanut shouts “I’ll get it.” when Peanut opens the door standing on the other side was Sean holding his hands behind his back and he asks in a delightful tone “hey Peanut, remember me?”

Peanut hesitates for a few moments then yells in excitement “MOM, DAD; UNCLE SEAN IS BACK.” Startled Grape falls, lying on the floor she howls in annoyance “is a quiet nap too much to ask for around here?”

Mr. and Mrs. Sandwich walk into the same room and they see Sean scratching Peanut’s belly in a variety of places causing him to wiggle around almost as if he was being tickled, Earl says with excitement “it’s so good to see you again; hey do you still have Acerbic?” while pointing at him Sean says “you know it.” “sweet.” Earl says with even more excitement, Jill shakes her head side to side then says “I’m going to assume that has something to do with D&D.” Jill continues “so Sean what brings you to town?”

while continuing to spoil Peanut Sean says with joy “I’m on a two week vacation.” disturbed Sean then says “also did you know wolves have taking over my house.” “sorry about that, no one thought you would be coming back.” Earl responded,

Sean announces with a big smile “that’s ok, we’re roommate now.” As his happiness turns into worry he continues “to tell you the truth it’s quite unsettling, I’ll be living with a wild animal.” having mixed emotions about it he says “but it does give me the perfect chance to study him and his behavior, I only hope he doesn’t get hungry one day and think of me as a snack.”

Looking up towards the ceiling he says with grief “although now that I think about it; it seems like a waste of time, I’ll have to scrape my research once my weeks are up.” With a smile Jill says trying to reassure him “why don’t you transfer here, our zoo has gone up in today’s market.”

with his fingers outwards near his chest Earl shout "that's a great idea.” With a much calmer voice he continues “what do you say?" “I’ll have to give it a try.” Sean replies with an unsure answer, thrilled acting like a child Peanut says “yeah then you could get us a discount, Dad can we go tomorrow, can we, pleeeeeeease?”

With her arms crossed and a little irritated Grape states “Peanut he just said he was on vacation, I think the last thing he wants to do is visit a zoo.” Sean replies with a smile on his face “she’s right Peanut; we’ll go after my vacation ok.”

Complaining Peanut says “aw, but that will take forever.” giggling Sean says “I sure hope so.” Jill, Earl and Sean then burst out laughing, confused Peanut says “I don’t get it.” To be continued

I decided to leave this part in-for your information I don’t play dungeons and dragons; so I had to do some researching for that item, it’s a sword in case you didn’t know, a sharp and unique one at that

Housepets creator-Rick Griffin
Last edited by sean21 on Wed Feb 08, 2012 1:24 pm, edited 4 times in total.
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

you may be on a completely different level then the others but your still way better then me, and you know what they say practus makes perfect

also i was wondering you had said in your first post that you were open for saggestions, was that only for the name because i had an idea, you could combind both stories, like continue his introdution one and every now and then you can add the part where Sean and Miles fight each other for the possesion of alpha male

one more also i think the dad's name is Earl


Alex's post
Last edited by sean21 on Sat Mar 10, 2012 11:19 am, edited 2 times in total.
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

thank you, that is a good idea, i was trying to make my story like Mr. Griffin's, a few comic strips, but i like that better, again thank you Mr. Tenreu
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by RandomGeekNamedBrent »

yeah. The dad's name is Earl, the mom is Jill, and before that we knew them as Mr. and Mrs. Sandwich.

also, this update reads like a script for a play or something. not that it's a bad thing, just a bit odd.
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Re: alpha male

Post by Wanderer »

I think adding : after says is a bit redundant. Either : after the name or said, "(words)" should be fine.
Another suggestion is that you should try to limit explaining yourself in parentheses as that can interrupt the flow of the story.
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

to: RandomGuyNamedBrent thats the only way i know how to type.

to: Wanderer i do supose all i need is these two indents ""

also to: Wanderer i can remove those if you think it would make my story better

to: everyone i'm going to change something, that would make the second one better, its when Sean leaves the house, i'm telling you this so that you wouldn't have to reread the whole thing


i finshed the edit but i'm so use to putting : "" those two together that i can't write without them
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by Foxstar »

You should explore other ways of storytelling. For a lot of folks, if it can be a struggle to follow the story your telling, why tell it?

Never waste the readers time.
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

dont be so mean foxstar... ok i do admit, its not perfect but that doesnt mean he has to give up on what he loves doing, plus i want to see more

Alex's post
Last edited by sean21 on Sat Mar 10, 2012 11:20 am, edited 2 times in total.
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by Foxstar »

I didn't say for him to quit. Never waste the readers time is a well known saying among writers.
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

oh, ok, lol, i've actually never heard that before, maybe its because i'm not a writer ^_^

Alex's post
Last edited by sean21 on Sat Mar 10, 2012 11:20 am, edited 2 times in total.
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

I apologies for the confusion, I was a little hasty when trotting down this story, I’m going to be taking my time writing it from now on, which means I’m going to be postponing my updates
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

lol ok i can wait ^_^

Alex's post
Last edited by sean21 on Sat Mar 10, 2012 11:20 am, edited 2 times in total.
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by copper »

It is a nice little story, with an interesting premise. Just one little thing. Maybe go through and double check spelling. There are rampant misspelling and using the wrong word in your story. I will look forward to reading the next update though! :)
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

i changed my third enter so you my want to read it, its better then before
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

*stunned*

i cant wait to see your next one ^_^


Alex's post
Last edited by sean21 on Sat Mar 10, 2012 11:21 am, edited 2 times in total.
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

sorry my update is taking so long, i have work to deal with.

also this may be a day early but Happy Valentines Day everyone.

that reminds me i should proabably work on a seasonal artical, maybe next time
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

there's no need to rush, take all the time you need

also happy Valentines day to you too ^_^

<3 thats suppose to be a heart


Alex's post
Last edited by sean21 on Sat Mar 10, 2012 11:22 am, edited 2 times in total.
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by copper »

Take your time. Your readers will wait. And yes, you do have readers. :roll:
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

ok here it is, the second part

The chapter is titled-to be the opener of ways or not to be

Sitting on their couch Sean enjoys a freshly made cup of tea prepared by Jill, to break the ice Sean asks “so anything new happen while I was away, did anyone move?” Jill replies while holding her chin “well, other than Jerry getting a new pet from their Aunt who they named Zach; and King moving into the neighborhood, a guy from Peta went missing before his trail; no one has seen or heard from him since.”

while swing his fists Earl declares “yeah but if I ever see him coming here I’ll give him my signature knuckle sandwich.” It’s been awhile sense Sean had heard that but it brings back good memories and Sean says with a chuckle “that never gets old.”

he sets down his steaming cup on the table then as he stands up he says “well it was nice getting to chat with you and your homemade tea was wonderful but I need to let everyone else know I’m back; before sunset.” Jill says “come visit anytime.” while Sean puts on his jacket he replies “I sure will, I have unfinished petting with Peanut.”

Jill shrugs at Sean’s words and says with despair in her voice “please don’t spoil him too much; we barely got him back to behaving the last time you petted him.” Sean had spoiled Peanut many times in the past, he likes seeing their faces light up when he’s doing so, but it makes them over excitable, Peanut replies “yeah he’s got magic fingers.”

Not wanting to admit it Grape glares at Peanut then says “magic fingers, you disappoint me.” Sean opens the door but before leaving he says almost like he was scolding her “Grape don’t act like you don’t know, remember when I petted you, I swear I could hear you purring. Grape crossing her arms then sticks out her tongue and says “that doesn’t count, I was a kitten back then, now I’ve got claws.”

She then pretends swiping at him, “when you do it its cute.” Sean starts to explains, “but when a full grown tiger does it it’s terrifying, speaking of which I got mauled by a tiger once, funny story I’ll tell you about it later.” Earl throws out his hand to say “Sean wait.” Sean looks back and Earl continues “come over tomorrow and we’ll have a D&D match.” Sean hasn’t played D&D in a long time so he’s gotten a little rusty but none the less he waves goodbye and says “sounds like fun.”

Mr. and Mrs. Sandwich close the door behind him, thinking again Sean says “let’s see; which house is next, perhaps Bino and Max, maybe Sasha or Joey, hum Joey, I wonder if he still likes cats.”

After much thinking he comes to a conclusion “I know I’ll go pay my dues to Zach, I bet Tiger and Marvin is driving him crazy.” As soon as he gets to Jerry’s house he sees little woodland creates gathered around praising the opener of ways, asking for his guidance, standing there looking like an outsider Sean asks “what’s going on, who’s the opener of ways?” surprised with Sean’s words a raccoon says “you do not know the opener of ways?”

His tone then changes slightly and continues “then allow me to educate you, the opener of ways is a wise and powerful being who will lead us to our salvation.” Still confused Sean only nods his head in agreement, wanting some fresh air Zach opens his window and one of the feral’s shouts with his hands in the air “oh great and beloved opener of ways; what wisdom will you share with us today?”

Zach yells in anger “FOR THE LAST TIME I DON’T WANT TO BE THE OPENER OF WAYS, LEAVE ME ALONE.” The same one relies “see how modest he is, we love you oh great opener of ways.” It’s pointless reasoning with them Zach doesn’t even know why he tries, he sighs and Sean yells out trying to fit in “all hail the opener of ways.” which only made matters worse, they all start to cheer after Sean had said that “hail, hail, hail.”

While they chant Zach is stunned at what he sees and says “oh no now they got the humans doing it, will this ever end?” right now all he can do is ignore them, he re-enters his room closing the window behind him, trying not to laugh Sean approaches Jerry’s door, “opener of ways.” He mocks softly, “no wonder hunting is a sport.” Heartbroken by his own words he says “aw why did I do that to myself; hunting is wrong.” Inside his house Jerry says “sure you can see our new pet, he’s up stairs on the left.”

Sean replies “thanks.” He walks up the stairs still giggling, he stands outside Zach’s room where he knocks three times on his door interrupting Zach from writing in his journal and says in a teasing way “Greetings opener of ways.” Thinking Sean is a crazy fan he shrieks “AAAH THEY’VE COME FOR ME.”

Laughing uncontrollable Sean says “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I just couldn’t resist.” Relieved Sean was just pranking him he holds his hand on his chest and breaths deeply, trying to catch his breath Sean asks “what’s with, the goofy nickname, did you open a doggy door for them or something?” not even understanding it himself Zach replies “no, I simple pushed a button and now they worship me.” Sean points his open hand towards the window and says “their wild animals what would you expect, not including Miles of course.” Zach hasn’t meet Miles thanks to those feral’s, “who?” Zach asks,

Sean waving his hand from upwards to down and says “never mind.” feeling trapped in his own house Zach lays his head on his journal and says “I don’t know what to do, they won’t leave me alone, maybe I should move, no they would just follow me.” Having an idea Sean asks “if you want I could get rid of them for you?” Zach quickly raising his head and with puppy dog he says “really you would do that for me, but how do you plan on accomplishing that?” “if those idiots think you’re a God then they’ll believe anything.” Sean relies, as Zach turns his eyes away and rubs the back of his head he says “I had something totally different in mind but that works too.”

Grinning Sean says “ok I’ll need you to play alone for this to work.” Outside carrying Zach on his shoulders Sean says with a promising voice “alright listen up, the almighty opener of ways has decreed me as the royal carrier.” holding a scepter in his right hand swinging it from left to right Zach says in a powerful voice “that’s right and if any of you have a problem with that I will banish you to the farthest regions of hell.” Thinking their opener of ways has finally come forward one asks trembling with joy “have you decided to lead us oh great one?”

Zach puts his fist on his chest then says in a booming voice “yes you have all proven yourself worthy of my supreme leadership.” Watching from the porch both Tiger and Marvin stare with their mouths gawked wide open, Tiger heads towards the front door and says “I don’t wanna know.” Marvin fallows right behind him and says “me ether.” suddenly one faints with excitement almost making Zach lose his concentration “but first; we’re going to play a game of hid and seek, I will hid and all of you will seek me, this will be your only hint I am going into the forest and I will not reveal myself until one of you has fond me.”

pausing for a few moments to gaze at them all he then finishes “alright everyone start counting, and no pecking.” they cover their eyes and began to count from 100, randomly skipping and repeating a few numbers Zach says while pointing his scepter in front of him “onward royal carrier.” Sean proclaims “yes my liege.” Sean walks into the forest but he knows a detour back to Jerry’s house for the rear entrance, inside the house they look out the window and watch the feral animals blindly run into the forest, bragging Sean says “problem solved.”

Zach gives Sean a big huge then says “oh thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.” now that it’s over Zach stands out on his balcony and says “I can finally enjoy the sunshine again in peace.” his moment was short lived when he heard the sound of “all hail the opener of ways.” his eyes were wide open, where could the plan have gone wrong, he followed Sean’s instructions precisely, he looks down squinting his eyes and says while shaking his fist “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE LOST IN THE FOREST.”

The same one replies with passion “we figured it was a test when we catch whiff of your sent leading back here, your test was truly humble and passed with easy, you may lead us in the right direction now oh great one.” Zach sighs then remembers a time when he ignored a lecture form Tiger then says “Tiger told me taking three baths a day was a bad thing.” As Zach hung his head when re-entering and closing the window behind him he continues almost weeping “why didn’t I listen, why?”

Sean sets his hand on Zach’s should and says trying to comfort him “don’t give up just yet; I have another idea.” Zach looks up to him with glassy eyes and asks “what did you have in mind?” with an evil grin slowly stretching across his face he says “we’re ganna fake your assassination.” Dreading it Zach says “I don’t think I like the sound of that.”

After an hour or two of rehearsing Zach steps out onto his balcony in another feeble attempt to rid himself of those pests, now wearing a crown he says loudly “Welcome my people, I; the great opener of ways will now lead us to the promise land.” They all cheer “YAAAAAAH.” as Zach holds up his open palm he says “but first a speech.”

They all become silent waiting for his all knowing words, Zach clears his throat then begins “I am honored for this role to be your opener of ways, for only I am worthy enough of such a possession, if I were to die today it would not be in vane, my heart will remain with you for eternity and beyond, for I am your King, your God, your…” forgetting his lines he looks at his hand then continues “divine ruler, together we are unstoppable, tonight we ride.”

they all cheer and that same one from last time faints again, Zach yells with his fist in the air “ARE YOU WITH ME?” They cheer “YEEEEEEES.” Bino Painfully watches as the feral’s cheer for Zach when they should be cheering for him, he says with fury in his eyes “I knew it; he’s trying to overthrow me, well this is my neighborhood; and I will not just hand it over.”

Overreacting yet again Bino approaches them and yells out “SO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST MARCH ALL OVER MY TERRITORY WHILE I SET BACK IN AMUSEMENT, WELL GUESS AGAIN; I CHALLENGE YOU ZACH, TO THE DEATH.

they all whisper “the opener of ways has been challenged… he much accept… he must crush the low life that disrespects him.” Zach slaps himself then yells “BINO YOU RUINED EVERYTHING.” One says with a smirk “go on oh great opener of ways show this none believe your wrath; smite him with waves of vengeance, shed no mercy on his pitiful soul.” Then they all start chanting “no mercy, no mercy, no mercy.”

The pressure was getting to Zach, he sighs with grief, he has never once dealt with high maintenance people or uh animals before, he asks “why did it have to be me?”

tired of waiting Bino points downward in front of him and says “come down and face me you cowered.” Knowing Bino was right he holds his head and thinks “what should I do, Bino will surely kill me, maybe I can make a run for it.” Suddenly Sean jumps from the window and lands right in front of Bino then says “fear not, the great opener of ways is feeling nonissues, so I will be taking his place.” Bino starts to worry after seeing his size but not thinking he says “bring it on.”

Strapped to his back was a high powered water gun that he then reveled to Bino, at this point he was improvising Sean says “no mercy then.” Sean then pulls the trigger soaking Bino, all drenched Bino gazes at Sean with rage in his eyes ready to explode, Bino then quickly rushes to Jerry’s water hose that’s just sitting outside, he points the end at Sean then turns the valve soaking him back, they then uses these as weapons repeatedly squirting each other, watching from a distance as the war unfolds Peanut says while jumping “I want to play.”

Peanut then turns to Grape and asks for her promotion “can I, can I please?” Grape rolls her eyes at another one of Peanut’s easily impressed moments then says “go ahead, I’m not stopping you.” Peanut reaches underneath his collar then pulls out a miniature squirt gun and says “good thing I always carry my emergency gun.” Peanut then joins the fight spraying Sean from behind, he then turns his head and blurts out “what’s this; another trader, you shall die under my watery furry, in the name of the opener of ways.”

Not believing what her ears just heard Grape says “oh my gosh, did he just really say that?” crossing her arms she continues “how rude; their playing pretend without me.” Jealous she decides to cheer on Peanut, it’s the least she could do, as their battle progresses further it draws in a crowd mostly pets, the humans has seen this sort of stuff on a daily bases, a few of them that come says simultaneously “hey is that Sean… Sean’s back.”

the pets gather around from all the commotion, some of them even join in the battle which makes Sean say “More traders, you will all parish.” The battle started getting out of hand, the plan was no longer valid, he has to think of another way, feeling responsible Zach asks from his balcony “it’s like an outbreak of germs, what have I done?” as the crowd ohs and ahs it catches the attention of King and Fox who was playing in the park, King asks like he’s never seen that before “what are they doing?” in amusement Fox says “I don’t know, but it looks like fun.”

Fox grabs King’s arm and rushes towards the crowd saying “come on, let’s check it out.” “But.” King replies, squirting and dodging each other they were all having fun, including Bino but Zach has had enough, he didn’t like it one bit, he comes outside and demands while swinging his arms around “STOP IT, ALL OF YOU, STOP FIGHTING OVER ME!”

Looking at Zach Sean gets an idea on how to finish his plan, he grabs this tiny red ball from his pocket then quickly turns to Bino and holds the red ball in front of the mouth of his squirt gun then fires, Bino easily dodges it but Zach who was standing behind Bino cannot, the water covered his face sort of pushing him to the wall, sliding down with red paint looking like blood all over his face Sean drops his gun then runs over to Zach who is sitting on the floor, Sean yells “NOOOOOO.”

All the feral’s gasp and silence falls onto the battle field, Sean holds Zach’s hand then says with a whimper “oh great opener of ways can you forgive me, that shot was not mint for you, I swear.” then Sean winks his eye, Zach remembers the plan and plays along, in a faint voice Zach says “I don’t blame you royal carrier.” To make it more convention Zach coughs twice then says as he places his paw on Sean’s cheek “you served me well, I am grateful to have such a heroic…” Zach fakes another cough, “save your breath.” Sean demanded,

Zach looks into his teary eyes and weekly continues “I; look; forward; in; seeing; you; again; royal…” He coughs one last time, as his hand falls onto the floor and closes his eyes Sean tilting his head downward and says “he’s dead.” all the animals start to cry, “oh come o…” Bino tries saying but Fox covers his mouth, Sean picks up Zach’s body then says trying not to cry himself “the prophesy for tells that when the opener of ways dies, he is then reborn, but he will not look the same nor will he remember us, the opener of ways is a noble being; may your journey back to this world be peaceful.”

All the animals continue to cry tears of sadness except for Bino of course he just rolls his eyes Sean’s words went through one ear and out the other, Sean states “now seeing that I am his royal carrier I will be the one to bury him, he’s funeral will start tomorrow after none, you may all now go home; and rest easy knowing the opener of ways is still out there somewhere.” all the feral animals turn around and return to the forest, Sean watches as they leave, with the coast clear Sean says “ok their gone.”

Zach springs back to life taking in a deep breath and saying “finally... thanks again for getting rid of those pesky feral’s Sean.” as Sean sits Zach down he replies “any time.” Wrinkling his face Bino says “wait you were acting.” Then with a serious voice Bino continues “I mean I knew that, why wouldn’t I know that, I was merely playing alone too, yep we sure showed those feral’s who’s really in charge here.” As Bino points to himself he proclaims “me.” Sean giggles and says “I can see you haven’t changed ether.” Sean gets down on his knees then says “what did none of you mess me?”

Sean pats his lap two times and they all run towards him, he tries petting them all while they jumping up and down, almost at the same time they say “Sean when did you get back… why did you leave… can you play with us… yes we want to play… play with us Uncle Sean… hi am Daisy.” Sean replies “guys hold up I’m a little worn out, Zach has been hogging me all day.” “Zach.” They all complain with a moan, Zach lowers he’s ears thinking they’re going to beat on him then says “what did I do?” Sean chuckles,

Wondering where Fox was because he’s usably the first he looks around and to his surprise Fox is standing next to a dog he hasn’t seen before, by a hunch he guesses its King, Sean stands up and as he walks through the crowd of dogs he says “excuse me.” King lowers his ears as Sean approaches him, down on one knee Sean says “hey there little guy; what’s your name, I don’t believe we’ve meet?” blushing he replies softly “I’m; King.”

Sean stuck out his hand then says “nice to meet you King, I’m Sean.” King only stares at Sean’s hand; but then his face turns a bright red when Sean asks “what’s wrong, do you need to sniff me first.” King quickly grabs Sean’s hand then shakes it and nervously says “no; no that’s alright, it’s nice to meet you too.” Sean’s smile gets bigger and as he rubs King’s head he says “you’re a shy little dog aren’t yah?”

Sean turns to Fox then stretches out his arms and demands “get your little husky butt over here; I’m still waiting on my hug Mr.”

while they hug Sean says with a sad tone “I missed you all so much.” “like wise.” Fox responds, As they end their hug Sean turns to Bino who was looking aggravated having his arms crossed, Sean asks “and Bino; how’s your club running, still the chairmen?” Bino turns his head away to say “yes, I decide all the important stuff.” Bino then says softer “most of the time.” Sean smile, he knows him and Fido have always had a dispute, Sean asks “Fido still giving you a hard time huh, well tell him I said hi, and give him one of these for me.”

He uses his brother as an excuse to hug Bino doubting he would actually hug Fido, Sean then let’s go of Bino, as he stands up he says “it’s getting late, I’ll walk you home Fox.” “just like old times.” Fox replies, Sean waves goodbye as him King and Fox start walking, the others do the same, having a complex day Zach just wants to go inside and relax, but first for some reason he feels the need to try and stand out on his balcony once more, an offal mistake for while he stands there eyes closed and a braes flowing through his fur, he then hears “are you ready to lead us oh great one?” keeping his eyes closed he says to himself out loud “I must be hearing things, for when I open my eyes there is not going to be a mob of raccoons, dears, squirrels or any of those others below me.”

He slowly opens one eye and there they were, bent over Zach complains “what’s the point of reverse sociology if it doesn’t work?” that same one says “we passed another of your glorious tests oh great one, are we now ready to travel afar now.” Aggravated Zach wants to throw himself off the ledge but fearing they would catch him instead he stomps back into his room closing the window behind him, the same raccoon says “many more trials await us brothers, bless the noble opener of ways.”

With the sun setting further and the dark sky approaching Sean is walking with King sitting on his shoulder and holding Fox in his arms, he used to do this all the time with Fox, they both enjoys it, Sean is the first one to break the silence asking “so King where does your dad live, I’ll walk you home too.” King mutters “well… he… I.” Fox interrupts “his dad had to leave but couldn’t bring King with him, so now he lives with Miles.” Sean utters in surprise “really, then I guess that makes us roommates because I too am living with Miles.” “you don’t say.” Fox replies,

when they get to Bill’s house Sean’s sets Fox down then as he rubs Fox’s head he says “goodnight Fox.” Walking and waving as he goes towards the door Fox says “goodnight Sean, goodnight King; see you tomorrow.” King tries waving his hand to say “goodnight.” As King and Sean approach their house King asks “uh Sean, can I get down?” “sure.” Sean replies, he then grabs King around his waist then lifts him up over his head and sets him down, at the door Sean opens it for King which sort of made him think of Zach, trying not to laugh he says “after you.”

King replies “thanks.” King enters first and Sean fallows behind him, once inside Sean shouts “Miles I’m back, and I’ve brought home a friend.” pinching King’s check Lucretia says “oh hey King; did you have a fun with Fox?” King says like a child “yea.” Lucretia cuffs her hands together then says “good, now I hope you build up an appetite because I just made dinner.” In the kitchen they all set at the table with big slaps of raw meat covering their plates, except three of them had the meat cut up into bits, Lucretia says “alright everyone dig in.”

Both Sean and King stare at their plate with disgust, trying not to offend Lucretia he says “this looks delicious, unfortunately I’ve already eaten, I hope you’re not mad.” Lucretia replies “not at all, I can save it for tomorrow.” Sean smiles then closes his eyes and says “no, that’s ok Miles can have my piece.” Miles looks at Lucretia and says “may I?” Lucretia shakes her head side to side and says “no I don’t want you getting fat.” A little surprised Sean says “you’re so thoughtful.”

Miles says “that’s the reason I married her.” Lucretia smiles then gives her husband a big kiss, Sean stand up with his plat in hand then says “you guys keep eating, I can put it away myself.” King then suddenly says “oh uh I’m not that hungry ether, too many snakes with Fox, sorry about that.” Not bothering her at all Lucretia says “it’s ok sweetie.” Sean takes Kings plate then says “don’t get up I can put yours away too.” King then asks “may I be excused?”

While nodding her head Lucretia says “you may.” Sean opens the fridge and sticks the huge pieces of meat wherever he can find room, King scoots his chair back then hops down from it, both King and Sean goes into the living room and sits on the couch to watch a little TV, sitting next to King Sean pulls out a doggy treat from his pocket and says “here eat this.” Surprised by Sean knowing he asks “but how did you…” Sean cuts him off to say “I know a lot about animals.” King takes the treat and says “thank you.” Sean stats “there’s more where that came from so don’t be shy about asking.”

As King chewed on the soft and juicy treat Sean starts to stroke King’s head which causes his ears to plop down, Sean then stops, he could tell King did not like being petted, after a minute from watching TV Sean hands a few more treats to King and says “I’ll be right back; I’m ganna grab a book ok.” “ok.” King replies, as Sean leaves the room King starts chewing on another one and says “mmm these are good.”

While Sean is in his room he pulls that suitcase out from underneath his bed, he opens a few zippers until he finds what he was looking for, the book had writing on the cover that read “getting to know your dog” Sean opened the book and skipped a few pages until he finds a picture that looks exactly like King, Sean thinks out loud “according to his name I’m going to assume he’s a pure breed.”

Walking in the hallway Sean starts reading but he doesn’t take his eyes off the page, he sits next to King and King asks “what you reading?” Sean replies “nothing important, just facts and traits about animals.” King says “uh, hey Sean, can; can I have another?” While still reading Sean replies “sure.” He then takes out three more from his pocket and hands them to King, “thank you.” King says, Sean replies “no problem, it’s what I do for a living, but that’s it for now, if you end up getting fat; I’d never hear the end of it.”

King says “ok, just one thing though, why do you carry these delicious morsels around with you?” Sean replies “because I like spoiling pets, well actually it’s not really something I can control; I just feel the need to.” Sean suddenly closes his book in frustration and says “aaaag, this book wasn’t any help; I already know all that, maybe I should go shopping tomorrow.”

Sean turns to King and says “would you like to join me King?” King replies “sorry I can’t, I’m meeting Fox tomorrow.” Sean says “he can come to, I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to purchase new reading material.” This would be a good time more than any from the to be continued part

Housepets creator-Rick Griffin
Last edited by sean21 on Fri Feb 17, 2012 10:56 am, edited 3 times in total.
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

lol knuckle sandwich

um if Sean was malled by a tiger wouldnt he be, well you know, dead

husky Fox, i love that part, husky's are my favorite type of dogs


Alex's post
Last edited by sean21 on Sat Mar 10, 2012 11:22 am, edited 2 times in total.
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

well he was attacked but mulled sounds better
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by copper »

sean21 wrote:well he was attacked but mulled sounds better
I think you mean mauled?
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

there i changed it
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

hum an intervention, how quant, if King wins this Pageant then ether i'll have to make a few changes in my next story or i could skip a few pages and mention it in a future one, let's just wait to see what Mr. Griffin has planned

side note-in case your wondering in the story line i'm working on now; King has no money, for one thing he doesn't have a job and i'm not sure if Miles gives him an allowance, i supose i could ask Mr. Griffin but he probably doesn't have that information avalible at this time
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by Foxstar »

Smaller segments would be more readable. That is a monster wall of text to wade though.
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Re: alpha male

Post by RandomGeekNamedBrent »

written in present tense. not a choice most people make. it's refreshing.

I liked it, but I agree with Foxstar that smaller updates would be better. but do what you want, it's your fic.
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Re: alpha male

Post by copper »

The spelling and grammatical issues notwithstanding, it is a great story. This update was fun and carefree. Very refreshing from the drama that usually plagues fanfics! :lol:

Sean has quite the childlike demeanor it seems. No wonder all the pets love him! :)
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

sorry guys i'm a little preoccupied at the moment, my updates may be postponed, depending on whether it gets resolved
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by copper »

Glad to see you finally being yourself. Can't wait to see if this translates into your story writing.
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

sorry for my absence my friend invited me over to his house when he fond out i was off the next two day which isn't very offten, he has the worst timing, anyways i want to share something before i continue, when i was a child Alex was my very first creation for he was my imaginary friend, as i grew older Alex gained more detail, like a last name, his birthday and my taste for music, four years later and Justin was born, i gave him my video game status and an allergy towards animals, a few more years had passed and i came out with another one who i named David, he's a recovering alcoholic and shares my love for water, eventually i had thought of Kenny who is; well, let's just say he's a bitter old man, i'm not really sure how Sean comes into this, i wanted another character but ran out of faces; so i decided to use my own, all i really did was twick my personalities a bit and made myself shy, clumsy and incompetent, its a bit like acting.

my original plan for Alex was to continue housepets where Sean left off, sense he felt that he was no longer welcomed but then i had an idea, what if i had them meet each other, i had never attempted that before and was getting excited how it would play out, it went horribly, but still contained good data even if it failed, thats one more thing you should know about me, i try actions then study the results, most of the time that gets me into trouble like it did here, i take that term 'learning from your mistakes' literally.
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by RandomGeekNamedBrent »

Little hint. If you like being other characters, you're more than welcome to do so in the Role Playing section. I have about 8 characters currently going and 2 more waiting for their neighborhood to start. Just as long as you go back to yourself when you leave the in character threads.

also, you were much more creative than I was. All of my imaginary friends were characters from TV or Movies and all of my characters in games I played (I suppose they could be considered games of imaginate) were amalgams of characters from many sources.

and learning from your mistakes is always meant literally.

now back on topic, I look forward to seeing how you write while writing as yourself and not responding to your own false comments :P
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Re: alpha male

Post by copper »

Personally, I'd rather know you than a character that is only a part of you. I look forward to seeing how you really write, and see who you really are.... and there are other ways to experiment dude! :lol:
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

Shawn "also i remember Copper saying something about my story lacking drama well that's because i don't like drama, althought Kenny seems to like cause it, isn't that right Kenny?"

Kenny "bit me you two faced *beep*"

Shawn "actually it's more like five faced, but why are we even having this conversation, we're the same person."

Alex *scolding finger* "you two be nice to each other, other wise it could cause a tomer, possably, i dont know ^_^ let's not test it."
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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Re: alpha male

Post by sean21 »

i'm off today which is great, all i want to do is relax, i hope none of you mind, how about i give you a short story while you wait for my main one


[spaced to center] PURE BREED CORGI

Name-King

Gender-male

Eyes-dark blue

Age-3 possibly 4

Height-2 and a half feet

Weight-21 lbs

Coat-well groomed

Daily diet-should be Pedigree

Relatives-none

Relationship-single (yes I know he has a girlfriend but Sean doesn’t)

Occupation-King is a very shy common household dog with short brown fur who loves being outdoors but from my assumption will only hang out with Fox, they seem to have an unbreakable connection, perhaps an event happened in their passed that formed their bond, King is an unusual dog for he does not drink form the toilet, he does not mark his territory, he does not chase his own tail, he does not bark at strangers or moving cars, he does not lick himself clean; and above all he does not like being petted, it’s almost as if he were human... It keeps going but King stops there looking up with a blank expression, standing next to him Miles asks “weird book right?” laughing nervously he replies “book right, heh; heh, weird.”

let me know what you guys think.
Shawn "hey."
Sean "greetings."
Alex "hi everyone ^_^"
Justin "wazz'up dudes."
David "i hope it rains today."
Shawn "this is my loving family, sort of speak."
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copper
Puppy Wrangler
Posts: 6362
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Location: Florida

Re: alpha male

Post by copper »

Interesting indeed. I do believe King ha gotten nervous by now.
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