You get such a book from alternate dimension where everything written down on paper and every book is written in an extremely complex code. Its so complex you can't even decode the name of the book.

I wish nuclear power was actually safe

Wish granted, but now the world is thrown into economic crisis as engineers need trillions of dollars to develop ways to harness the new energy source for vehicles

I wish I had access to an unlimited supply of cooking ingredients, plus the training to be a culinary expert

Granted, but you are banned from ever using a kitchen ever again.
I wish that I could program a videogame by myself.

Granted, but the only game you can program revolves around guessing a randomly generated number between 0 and 1.

I wish my boss would let me telecommute.

uh, he lets you but its only to check his facebook status (like the games, actually that doesnt sound so bad)

ok i wish i had all the music CD's of the world

You get all the CDs, but by that time we're so advanced we didn't even use CDs anyway. Too outdated.

I wish for a blessed scroll of genocide.
(I have the bottomless jar so you can't throw it at me!)

You get them 60 years from now, which by then you'll be too old to care about them.
I wish the IRS wasn't so intimidating.

The US dollar crashes and there is a huge economic crash that crushes the IRS, it eventually becomes dissolved to nothing. Your money is now worth nothing too!

I wish for
+3 blessed silver dragon scale mail

Wish granted. However the silver dragon has decided to hunt you down in revenge for chopping off its scales.
I wish I didn't have to learn french.

Granted! Now, you have to learn Mandarin Chinese!

I wish there was a less stressful way of getting tooth cavities repaired.

Granted, tooth cavities can now be fixed in 5 minutes with no pain or needles. Too bad you don't have any teeth left...

I wish I got paid to go to uni!

You're now a graduate student, where you get paid to help your professor teach unappreciative freshmen. Now you grade papers, assign homework, AND do regular studying and stuff. Your pay sucks too.

I wish that I knew how to cook delicious, nonfattening food that isn't frozen.

Granted! Unfortunately you're stuck in Antarctica with no way to heat food.
I wish I could remember stuff better.

Now you don't forget anything.
You remember all the useless information that have accumulated throughout the years like incorrect answers on a test. You can also recall every instance of suffering in minute detail.
I wish that I can cross the barren earth undeterred.

granted. Now you are the sole living thing in the world. Nothing can deter you now!
I wish I didn't have language subjects in school.

Congratulations all your classes are now taught in Binary.
I wish Spring Break lasted an extra week.

Granted. However all other holidays are a quarter as long to compensate.
I wish I could think of something to write.

Wish granted! *Destroys writers block with a hammer* Write a story about Duchess remembering everything that has occurred since her meeting with the shovel that has left her clueless! She chases King with sweet revenge and Bino just for the thrill of seeing King all scared!

I wish for more wishes!

Granted, however, they can only be submitted in chinese characters with every second to last word in each sentence in Braille while balancing a glass of water on your head while waiting for wish approval.

I wish i could make inanimate objects talk.

Granted, however you are the only one that hears them so you are locked away in an insane asylum.
I wish I could write better.

Granted, however the only thing you get better at writing is your signature.

I wish i could read minds.

Granted. You hear everyone's mind all the time with no way of blocking it.
I wish I had more money.

Granted, you receive all the monopoly money in the world.

I wish i had control over the entire internet.

Granted, but you lose control and end up destroying the internet forever.

I wish I had a new bike.

granted, unfortunatly its too small for you to ride

i wish i was an actual furry, with claws and everything

(I ride the new bike anyway "WEEEEEEEE")

Granted, but you can no longer use a computer so your fan-fic is never updated and I become sad because of that.

I wish I had a toy to make me not sad.

granted, however it um... the toy looks like uh... Rick Griffin making you feel awkward, at least your not sad anymore

i wish i never had to cut my hair

Ganted, you are now bald.

I wish I didn't have to feed my pets.

granted they grow opposable thumbs and feed themselves, your now out of food.

i wish i knew what to wish for... i have it now, i wish i knew every song out there

Granted, your head explodes from knowing too many songs.

I wish my life was like a cartoon.

granted, your then kidnapped by a super villen

i wish Naruto was real :3

Granted, but you were a member of the uchia clan and were killed even before the story started.

I wish I had a robot arm.

granted but you forget to oil it and so it becomes unusable

i wish it would rain ice cream :3

Granted, but the icecream melts before you can get some.

I wish I was famous.

granted you now cant get any sleep from the poperatsy

i wish i was a vampire

Granted, but you wakled in the sunlight by mistake.

I wish I was taller.

granted you are now 10ft tall and cant fit in your house

ops i almost forgot, i wish for a bag of cheetos

Granted, but they are moldy...

I wish for a bigger house.

granted but you become lost for weeks on end

I wish that you would make a wish.