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Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo) 
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Post Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
For the month of December, I challenge everyone who's interested to write a short story. The title of the story must have exactly three words: two three-letter words, and a six-letter word which is an anagram of those words. The three words may be in any order. There are no restraints on the length of the story. Also, feel free to write more than one if you're feeling ambitious!


Thu Dec 01, 2011 2:38 pm
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Post Re: Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
Fothex the Fox

Once upon a time there was a fox name Fothex. He awoke in the morning thinking, "I am hungry." So he went out to find some food. He got hit by a car and died. The moral of the story is that animals don't have very complex thought patterns, and also get hit by cars on occasion.

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Thu Dec 01, 2011 3:13 pm
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Post Re: Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
suddenly, this thread was turned into "5 second movies" meets "The Nonsense Thread"

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Thu Dec 01, 2011 5:22 pm
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Post Re: Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
Red Hat Dearth

"Well, you've got the black mustache," I said, carefully looking over Paul's Halloween costume in progress. "You've got the gloves, and of course you've got the blue overalls and red shirt. I'd say your Mario costume is missing only one thing."

"A red hat with an M on it!" Paul said.

"Of course! Once we have that, the costume will be complete! And I think I know where we can find one."

Following my instincts, I rode in Paul's car to the local haberdashery, Edgar's Headgear; unfortunately, when we arrived, it turned out the store had hundreds of hats in every color except for red. "How can you not have red hats?" I asked Edgar, the elderly owner of the store. "We need one for our Mario costume!" I pointed at Paul.

"And so does everyone else in town!" Edgar replied. "I don't know who this Mario is that you young whippersnappers all worship, but all of my red hats have been bought by other customers who want to be him for Halloween. Now buy something!"

"Maybe we don't absolutely need a red hat," I said, noticing a stovepipe hat. "Maybe you can be a cross between Mario and Abe Lincoln, Paul."

"No way!" Paul said. "It has to be a red hat. Otherwise, nobody will take my costume seriously."

I looked around the store. "How about a beret, Paul? You can be Mario's French counterpart."

"Are you kidding?" Paul answered. "Mario's French counterpart would give up instead of rescuing the Princess from Bowser!"

I kept looking around the store. "Hmm, here's a cowboy hat. Remember Western Land from Mario Party 2?"

"Yeah, and don't remind me!" Paul replied. "I have. . . depressing memories. . . regarding my brother Fred and Mario Party 2."

I had no idea what Paul was talking about, and decided not to inquire any further. "Surely we can find something for you. This store has chef's hats, diving helmets, aviator hats, derbies. . ."

"And none of them work for a Mario costume!" Paul shouted with exasperation, followed by a sigh. "Well, I guess I'll just have to dress up as Mario without a hat. But if Super Mario 64 has taught me anything, I'll probably take damage a lot more easily."


Thu Dec 01, 2011 6:29 pm
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Post Re: Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
red fox dexorf.

"What's a dexorf?", asked the red fox to the brown dog.
At that moment a dexorf erupted from the depths of the 5th circle and ate the entire town of oakville and the dog and fox with it.

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Thu Dec 01, 2011 10:31 pm
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Post Re: Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
who was Woshaw?

Two archaeologists were exploring a recently uncovered tomb full of Ancient Egyptian treasures. For centuries, it was buried under massive amounts of sand. They were proud to have been the first living beings in here in so long, until one man noticed something a bit off. On top of one of the mounds of treasure was a photograph. It contained only the image of a piece of paper that read, "Woshaw was here."

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Fri Dec 02, 2011 1:17 am
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Post Re: Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
Naming Gin Man

Todd Hathorn and Richard Watson were the finalists of Littleville's 10th Annual Men's Gin Rummy Tournament. None of the residents of Littleville were certain who was going to win the tournament and be named Gin Man this year; while Todd Hathorn had been the winner for five years in a row, the up-and-coming Richard Watson seemed to have gained much skill from training with his wife Lydia Watson, the champion of the woman's gin rummy division, and the title Gin Woman, five times out of the last six tournaments (three years ago, she had been unable to compete because her chemotherapy had been scheduled for that same day). The crowd went silent as the first cards were dealt.

Suddenly, jaws dropped as Todd laid down all of the cards in his hand. Was he lucky enough to be magically dealt a hand that melded perfectly with no deadwood? "I don't know what's going on here," Todd said, "but I somehow have ten Sevens of Diamonds!"

"I have ten Sevens of Diamonds, too!" Richard replied. "What the heck is going on here?"

Meanwhile, half a mile away, a man named Carley Garrett was performing magic tricks at the party commemorating the 6th birthday of Billy Chapman. "By my mind-reading powers,", declared Garrett, "I have determined that your card is the Seven of Diamonds!"

"Um, actually, it's the Jack of Clubs," Billy said, showing the magician his card.

"What?!?" Carley yelped with visible shock in his facial expression. "First I lose in the semi-finals of the Men's Gin Rummy Tournament, and now this? Nothing's going right for me today!"


Sun Dec 04, 2011 11:14 pm
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Post Re: Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
Sleet wrote:
Fothex the Fox

Once upon a time there was a fox name Fothex. He awoke in the morning thinking, "I am hungry." So he went out to find some food. He got hit by a car and died. The moral of the story is that animals don't have very complex thought patterns, and also get hit by cars on occasion.

I would buy this book

Darn, I had a good idea for Monroe No More but no and more aren't three letter words.

Yes, Old Yodels
The yodelmaster approached his expectant chorus with a heavy head and heart. They watched his every step, and held their breath to hear him announce the new yodelling compositions he had prepared for the week. The instructor just stood and stared out the window.
"Well?" Paul stood, breaking the silence, "are we going to get our new yodels?" The old man just turned his head and sighed.
"I'm afraid," he said, his worn voice scratching against his throat, "we won't be getting any new yodels from now on." The chorus sat in stunned silence.
"...what do you mean?" Monica asked, timidly, "How could that be?"
"Frank Schultz, the last living yodelwriter, died last night." His desolate voice pierced the hearts of everyone in the room.
"Does this mean... we will be singing-"
"Yes..." the old man said gravely, "old yodels."
A flash of lightning punctuated the moment.
"Isn't there another way?"
"I'm afraid not." The yodelmaster crept to his podium. "We will be starting again from the beginning of our yodeling library with composition #1." He distributed the pages as death sentences to each member of his chorus. Paul's legs quivered, Monica felt short of breath as their instructor raised his hands in anticipation of the start of the peace. They were still for a moment, holding the chorus with them. Then they suddenly flew downward, and the chorus began yodelling.
"YODEL YODEL YODEL YODEL YODEL YO-"
Suddenly, a giant tentacle sprang up out of the ground, grabbed the chorus, and dragged every last member down to be devoured by Eric, the giant octopus who lives at the center of the Earth and needs to be fed new yodels every day to avoid killing everyone.
So the human race was wiped out. The end.

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Sun Dec 04, 2011 11:38 pm
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Post Re: Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
God and Godnad

This dog came from a poor family. He prayed every night. He prayed for his sisters, his brothers, his parents and even his mean mean teacher at school. He had a heart of hold, was amazingly selfless and especially talented with a banjo.

After an excessive night of banjo-playing for the old and disabled, he knelt down next to a street lamp to pray once more. It was a regular occurence for him, but what happened next wasn't.

A holy figure appeared to Dog, imparted his wisdom and grace unto him and vanished without a trace. From that moment on any song Dog played magically healed the injured and cured the Sick. He became forever known as Hurdy and somehow became a moogle. Details in the next, much longer book.

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Last edited by Souji on Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:33 am, edited 1 time in total.



Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:04 am
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Post Re: Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
Souji didn't understand the title rules. :P

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Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:16 am
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Post Re: Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
RandomGeekNamedBrent wrote:
Souji didn't understand the title rules. :P


your minimalist style is refreshing, but this story would benefit from a title.

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Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:18 am
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Post Re: Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
RandomGeekNamedBrent wrote:
Souji didn't understand the title rules. :P


Hey now it's late at night, and for some reason.... it struck me as "This is fine" XP

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Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:33 am
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Post Re: Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
His Sed Hissed

John is missing his hat. (A sed is an animal indigenous to the greater California/Beijing area)

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Mon Dec 05, 2011 10:59 am
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Post Re: Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
Psykeout wrote:
His Sed Hissed

John is missing his hat. (A sed is an animal indigenous to the greater California/Beijing area)
We have a winner.

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Mon Dec 05, 2011 12:11 pm
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Post Re: Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
Sleet wrote:
Psykeout wrote:
His Sed Hissed

John is missing his hat. (A sed is an animal indigenous to the greater California/Beijing area)
We have a winner.


his+sed=hissed is more of a charade than an anagram. I personally prefer to see more impressive rearrangement than that. :)

________

This one will be posted in the form of a puzzle for now. Solve the missing words in the last paragraph.


It was August 8, 1879. Sheriff William Westwood stood outside a small bank in El Paso, Texas with his deputy Bill Brown. "I think this is the next bank Messy James and Rank James are going to try to rob," he stated. "If they come today, those sons of guns will be in for a big surprise from us!"

"Why don't we go inside and guard the bank, instead of standing out here?" Deputy Brown inquired.

"There's no need!" the sheriff assured. "While they are masters at disguising their faces, those James brothers can't possibly hide their disgusting odors. We'll be able to recognize their stench from a mile away, and arrest them before they have a chance to step into the bank!"

Thirty minutes later, two very clean men in clean outfits strolled into the bank, and Westwood and Brown thought nothing of it. A short while afterward, though, the law enforcers were stunned to see the pair running out of the bank holding bags of money as one of them shouted, "The James brothers strike again!"

"What the. . .?" Sheriff Westwood muttered as he chased the robbers on foot. "How did Messy and Rank James manage to mask their reek?"

Deupty Brown pulled his pistol out of its holster and trailed Sheriff Westwood. "I think abc def deabcf, Sheriff."


Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:17 pm
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Post Re: Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
OK ARE YOU SURE THOSE LETTERS ARE RIGHT BECAUSE THIS IS KIND OF DRIVING ME INSANE
mathgrant wrote:
Sleet wrote:
Psykeout wrote:
His Sed Hissed

John is missing his hat. (A sed is an animal indigenous to the greater California/Beijing area)
We have a winner.


his+sed=hissed is more of a charade than an anagram. I personally prefer to see more impressive rearrangement than that. :)

yes, but I used the second s for 'his' and the first s for 'sed'.

in all honesty I started with "hissed" and tried to make two words out of it and I didn't even notice the anagram was off.
I'm so disappointed.

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Mon Dec 05, 2011 4:25 pm
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Post Re: Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
The bad bathed?

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Mon Dec 05, 2011 9:53 pm
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Post Re: Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
Sleet wrote:
The bad bathed?

OH THOSE AREN'T THE ACTUAL LETTERS
OH WELL
THAT MAKES SENSE.
ALSO YOU SHOULD HAVE SPOILED THAT.

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Mon Dec 05, 2011 9:59 pm
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Post Re: Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
Psykeout wrote:
Sleet wrote:
The bad bathed?

OH THOSE AREN'T THE ACTUAL LETTERS
OH WELL
THAT MAKES SENSE.
ALSO YOU SHOULD HAVE SPOILED THAT.

It's called a cryptogram, Psykeout. :P

Sleet is smart!


Mon Dec 05, 2011 10:06 pm
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Post Re: Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)
mathgrant wrote:
It's called a cryptogram, Psykeout. :P

Sleet is smart!

If I were more familiar with the idea i could have gotten that.
probably.

and (s)he can be.
sometimes.

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Mon Dec 05, 2011 11:00 pm
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