Death of a King(The Remake)

What do you call a fic that's not a fic

Moderators: Hagus, SeanWolf

Locked
User avatar
EmoPeanut
Posts: 356
Joined: Sat Nov 06, 2010 12:10 am

Death of a King(The Remake)

Post by EmoPeanut »

Now, for some who didn't know, a year ago I wrote a story with the idea of, look, King is always acting like no one cares about him. But what would happen if King died, However, thanks to me crossing the line on the themes.
(Curse the fact that the forums don't allow dark stories like mine!) Sadly, they shut down he fic.

But you see, I've rested, I've dabbled here in there with a few fics of mine, and I feel I can resurrect this story but this time keep it safe from the mods wrath. I think with a bit more patience and being careful where I step, I can rewrite the story anew, And yes Copper, it is the same story, just a bit changed to keep the mods happy. However I may make a different version on fan fiction net which will be uncensored, so look for that, okay?.

So here it comes ladies and gents, the return of an idea I love more than anything, and the darkness it will bring,

I EmoPeanut,Servant of the Kizer Zin, Presents you...

Death of a King
Prologue
It hurt. It hurt so much. It felt.... so painful, I could die. Oh wait. I am. I watched as the police finally get him, the killer in time. Of course, by then there is already a casualty... Me. Hey, me dying is worth it, to protect her. She stared at me, that beautiful face. If I was human, I would have said, "Oh god, I'm a furry!" But. I wasn't, not anymore. The snow, it was stained with red. Everything was turning red. Fox ran over, along with Sasha, who screamed for someone to help me. I smiled. It was good to see her care. I turned to Fox, who was staring in horror.

"I.... King, I" He tried to speak but I raised my weak paw. "What day is it?" I whispered, feeling Death approach. Fox teared up a bit. I smiled, for once I was happy.

"Christmas Morning." He said, tears streaming down his face. I smiled, at both Sasha and Fox.

"We met that night Two years ago, right? I guess everything does ends like it begins." I said weakly, Death was getting impatient. Sasha then began crying. I frowned

"Don't lose yourself because of me Sasha, be the happiest you could be, after all thats what I love the most about you." I murmured as finally Death forced me out of my body. Sasha stared, her tears adorned on her face. It was like mirror shattered. I was gone. Then, a single, grief-filled, wail was heard.
Why is she crying? Death asked. I sighed.

"I'm dead, duh." I said bitterly.
But why? Why does she care if your dead? Death asked. Your just a human turned dog I growled.

"She doesn't know that.". I said quickly. Death raised an non-existent eyebrow.
If you don't tell me why she's crying, I won't let you go to the afterlife. Death asked, angering me. I turned in anger, but sighed.

"It all started when Sasha entered the wolves house two months ago, bleeding and crying."
--------
"It hurts so much.... Help me..." Sasha moaned, Me staring at her broken and abused body.
Who did this? Bino? Some sick dog? Tell me! I had yelled, feeling so relied up, but the answer I got sickened me,
Daddie Then Sasha fainted.
---------
Death was about to ask me to continue when the police dogs pulled Sasha and Fox away from my body. I growled.

"I'll tell you later." I said, running over to my body, but now that I thought of it, I couldn't stop thinking about what happened two months prior.

---------------
Two Month Prior
"What do you mean I'm under arrest?" A drunken man screamed as he was thrown into a car. The officer growled.

"Animal Abuse, and in this Officer's opinion, hurting the nicest animal in this town!" Officer Johnson yelled at the drunk. Sasha gave nice presents to everyone in the Gardens, and was nice to everyone, so the man was angry,

"That stupid dog never got me any chicks, I had to teach something." The drunk said, falling asleep. Johnson growled and walked away, the man locked in the car.
------------
I was stroking her paw, since she was nervous. She was in the vets hospital to get her wounds healed.

"Come on Kinggie, I'm fine.... Just tired...." Sasha tried to defend herself but some fell asleep thanks to the medicines. I grinned, and stared at her, hoping the god she'll be okay. Right before I was about to leave she pulled on his fur. Her eyes sparkled. I stared at her, not understanding,

"I love you." Oh God. Did she just say? She then closed her eyes and went back to sleep. I sighed, not realizing those words will affect me in the future,
Last edited by EmoPeanut on Fri Sep 16, 2011 6:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
Im crazy......WAFFLES!!!
User avatar
copper
Puppy Wrangler
Posts: 6362
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Location: Florida

Re: Death of a King(The Remake)

Post by copper »

IT IS BACK!!! YAY!!!!

Thank you for bringing this back. I WILL be writing thast eulogy now. Just be careful about things. You got a little close with Sasha's injuries...

Oh, and you mentioned Sabrina instead of Sasha there.... :lol:

I cannot wait for the next update, my good sir!
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image
User avatar
RandomGeekNamedBrent
laughing maniacally
Posts: 21032
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:42 pm
Location: an invisible, flying volcano over Virginia

Re: Death of a King(The Remake)

Post by RandomGeekNamedBrent »

didn't seem to me like he got close.

I like it. your dark fics are always a nice change from the happy. and nice short updates, too.
Paradigm Shift by me
I do not actually believe any of what I'm saying.
RP character sheets
User avatar
EmoPeanut
Posts: 356
Joined: Sat Nov 06, 2010 12:10 am

Re: Death of a King(The Remake)

Post by EmoPeanut »

RandomGeekNamedBrent wrote:didn't seem to me like he got close.

I like it. your dark fics are always a nice change from the happy. and nice short updates, too.
Emo is my thing. But now I has a problem.


Now as Copper remembers in the original, the story shifted forward after King finished telling his story, then it switched to Sasha and Fox's P.O.V.
Sasha, being alone and at breaking point, almost allows herself to be run over by a car, but Fox saved her. My bet is that that is why the story got shut down.

BUt I need Sasha to do that or I can't continue the story, so it's going to be hard. So Copper, RandomGeek. I need you to help me. As a mod, you know whats good and whats bad, and whats On the line. So since you two read my fics, I need you to help me from crossing THE LINE. I'll send you messages with the uncensored content, and you can tell me what needs to censored. I asking, so if you don't want, I get it. But it would be helpful. Also I decided to go with a new style in the Remake.

Instead of flashback- then Fox and Sasha, I'm going to stick with Fox and Sasha's P.O.V's for a while then King talking about his past with Death. ANd it will be more than just him dying... after he explains how he died were going to go into a lot more than that. Death is to curious for his own good.

So Main Story Arc-Flashback-Mainstory Arc- Flashback-Main story ending-Flashback Story ending.)
Im crazy......WAFFLES!!!
musclecar326
Posts: 684
Joined: Tue Jul 19, 2011 10:30 pm

Re: Death of a King(The Remake)

Post by musclecar326 »

This is going to be a very sad and gripping story! :cry: I cant wait to hear this story, and ill be reading the uncensored version as well. I promise ill comment on both and good luck with the next chapter.
Image
Image
Yes, I am a furry.
User avatar
copper
Puppy Wrangler
Posts: 6362
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Location: Florida

Re: Death of a King(The Remake)

Post by copper »

I would be happy to read and offer advice. It wasn't so much the suicide, as how it was written, I think. Maybe just tweak it as it goes from Sasha's POV to Fox?Leave the suicide/accident question valid and never answered, but implied.

I can't wait to see an end!
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image
User avatar
RandomGeekNamedBrent
laughing maniacally
Posts: 21032
Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 10:42 pm
Location: an invisible, flying volcano over Virginia

Re: Death of a King(The Remake)

Post by RandomGeekNamedBrent »

yeah, I'd be happy with reading and advising, too.
Paradigm Shift by me
I do not actually believe any of what I'm saying.
RP character sheets
User avatar
EmoPeanut
Posts: 356
Joined: Sat Nov 06, 2010 12:10 am

Re: Death of a King(The Remake)

Post by EmoPeanut »

Thanks.
Im crazy......WAFFLES!!!
Aerroxosity
Posts: 176
Joined: Wed Aug 24, 2011 10:00 pm

Re: Death of a King(The Remake)

Post by Aerroxosity »

Every single one of your fics I read I get addicted to
Image
Image
User avatar
EmoPeanut
Posts: 356
Joined: Sat Nov 06, 2010 12:10 am

Re: Death of a King(The Remake)

Post by EmoPeanut »

Sasha sighed, watching Sasha cry. She had come over to see if King was still here. And sure enough King was there in a astral form. She sighed, musing these events. Sasha had stopped crying and began to whimper, her eyes wide open. If only she knew thaT King was still watching here. She thought sadly. She remembered when Sasha first forced herself into SAbrina's house.
-------------
Four Months Earlier. "By Kitsune!" Sabrina screamed as Sasha barged into Sabrina, knocking down spiritual items. Sasha gulped and picked Sabrina. up. Sabrina groaned, her head spinning. Sasha smiled.

"Oh Sabrina, I needed to ask you something. Don't you know how to break up with a boyfriend?" Sasha asked, causing Sabrina's eyes to widen. She jumped out of Sasha's arms.

"And what makes you say that... and why?" Sabrina asked, worried. Sasha then grinned. "YOu see, I really like King, but Bino won't let me talk to him, and Bino isn't really fun anymore.... or nice. King is so sweet and nice, and he cares about me.... but I've never broke up with someone before... successfully...." Sabrina watched as the usually happy Sasha became a bit sad. SAbrina stared directly in the eyes.

"How many times have you broke up with Bino... but he never listened." Sabrina asked, watch Sasha's reaction.
"38 times, plus 5 if you count my last date." Sasha whispered. Sabrina smiled.
"Don't answer his calls, don't talk to Bino, and if he still doesn't get it, send him a letter. If you like King then you need to let go of your baggage." Sabrina said, putting her paws on Sasha's shoulders. Sasha smiled and her eyes turned determined.

"Your right! Time for me to break Bino's heart!" Sabrina sweat dropped as Sasha blasted out the door, leaving destruction in her wake.
----------------------
It took two months for her to break up with Bino, one to tell King, and another for them to start dating.... poor Sasha.. Sabrina watched as Sasha curled up in Fox's arms. She was whimpering, but the thing that shocked Sabrina the most was Fox's expression. It wasn't grieving... it was murderous.
Last edited by EmoPeanut on Fri Oct 07, 2011 6:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Im crazy......WAFFLES!!!
User avatar
copper
Puppy Wrangler
Posts: 6362
Joined: Tue Sep 28, 2010 8:18 pm
Location: Florida

Re: Death of a King(The Remake)

Post by copper »

Ooh! Good stuff, but I think you may have mixed names a couple times?

Please continue. I want to write my eulogy already!XD
My characters
Everybody has a story to tell. What's yours?
Image
User avatar
KizerZin
Posts: 466
Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2010 8:18 pm

Re: Death of a King(The Remake)

Post by KizerZin »

Love is such a Evil thing~ HA HA Haaaa!
Image
Locked