I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

"Dear Humanity, We regret being alien -censored-. We regret coming to Earth. And we most definitely regret that the Corps just blew up our raggedy--censored- fleet!" - Avery Johnson, Halo 2.

Chimpanzee 3 has escaped!

Oh. My. God. I have just fallen in love with this forum topic. It is where I BELONG! Yes! MWAHAHAAHA! Oh my, where to begin...I'll have to restrain myself from flooding this place, and limit myself to one quote each game...

"I'm sure we can put our differences behind us. For Science...you monster."-GLADOS, from Portal 2.

"Oh, another dangerous alien aboard, Commander. Thanks. Why can’t you collect coins or commemorative plates or something?"-Jeff "Joker" Moreau, from Mass Effect 2.

"Yes, but she's more 'Oh how pretty' crazy than 'Muwhaha I am princess stabbity stab stab.'"-Alistair, from Dragon Age Origins.

"Who's a good boy? Who tears the heads off hollow men? Is it you? Is it you, boy? Quite a companion you got. Remind me not to let him lick me again.
"-Sister "Hammer" Hannah, from Fable 2.

"Be careful, what I just gave you is highly radioactive, make sure you eat lots of lead before you open it."-Someone from Fallout: New Vegas.

"Clank: It says: 'In case of emergency, break glass to get wrench'."
(Ratchet prepares to break the glass with his wrench)
"Clank: Hold on! This one says 'Use rock to break glass to get wrench to break glass to get rock'. Ooh! I love logic puzzles! Let's see... If you break the glass with the--"
"Ratchet: (Breaks the glass) Solved it."-Clank and Ratchet, from..err...Ratchet and Clank.

Okay, I'll leave it there...for now. ^^' So many good Dragon Age and Mass Effect quotes, though...

"Just like shooting swamp rats back home!" ~Random marine, Halo: Reach

Better dead than red.

"I told you don't touch that dran thing", "This is what happens when you figh a better man.I AM better man" - Engineer, TF2
"Man, I feel like Gordan Freeman!" - Louis, L4D2
"LEEEEROOOOOOOY JEEENKINS" - Leeroy Jenkins, World of Warcraft
"Have a nice day" - main charaster, Postal 2.
"WUBUBU" - Ellis, L4D2
That's 1/100 of the list @_@

"Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said 'Goodbye' and you were like 'NO WAY' and then I was all 'We pretended we were going to murder you'? That was great..." - GLaDOS, Portal

How about some juice, or a mineral water?

If history is to change, let it change.
If the world is to be destroyed, so be it.
If my destiny is to die...I must simply laugh.
Magus-Chrono Trigger.

WELL THIS ARMOIRE IS A MONSTROSITY

The cake is a lie

I don't think that counts because it is so ubiquitous a lot of people who use it don't know where it is actually from... it bothers me when my friends do that.

SO, ABOUT MY DECORATING

Should I put a "- Portal" next to it?


BTW

"H3ll, t'was about time!" - Tychus Findlay - Starcraft II

You clearly knew where it was from, because you used it in the videogame quote section. I just felt like expressing frustration with the world. I never attribute mine, like this, for example:

YOUR PEOPLE ARE DESCENDED FROM LIMBLESS SPACE SLUGS

And if I say that "You must construct additional pylons", what are you going to do?

How did we miss this one?

Dead Alive

In the movie a kung-fu priest actually says, "I kick *** for the Lord!"

And let's not forget "Urban Commandos"...

"I WAS FROZEN TODAY!"

Moderator Edit: THE PROFANITY FILTER, DO YOU USE IT!? - Samuel L. Jackson, on what I did.

I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MONKEY FIGHTING SNAKES, ON THIS MONDAY TO FRIDAY PLANE!
snakes on a plane: tv edit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4t6zNZ-b0A

sooooooo....... many! I could never pick one!

"The names Bond, James Bond."

"yippy ky yay mother ****."

"My name... is NEO"

"Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie? Or are you gonna bite?"

I could think of dozens so I'll save our collective sanity and stop before I get carried away.

Moderator Edit: If you're going to self-censor, assume four asterisks are appropriate to replace any word. Otherwise, you're still getting the general idea across as well as circumventing the profanity filter.

It didn't take long to Reach to fall.
Our enemy was ruthless. Efficient. But they weren't nearly fast enough.
For you had already passed the torch.
And because of you we found Halo, unlocked its secrets, shattered our enemy's resolve.
Our victory -your victory-was so close.... I wish you could have lived to see it.
But you belong to Reach. Your body, your armor-
All burned and turned to glass. Everything, except your courage.
That, you gave to us.
And with it, we can rebuild.
-Dr. Catherine Halsey, At the end of Lone Wolf Mission.

The story of Halo: Reach was awesome, 6 would plough Chief

"You belong to ONI now." - Dr. Catherine Halsey

I say, you seem to be slightly dead, old chap!

mirrorS arE morE fuN thaN televisioN.

shE haS dyeD heR haiR reD.

-Pink Flamingo, Max Payne 2

"I enjoy the sight of humans on their knees.... That was a joke." EDI, Mass Effect 2

"..." -Squall, Final Fantasy 8

"It's time to split!" -Cortez, TimeSplitters: Future Perfect

Oh man, this is bad.
It's worse than the worst thing you've ever done.
Like, Chris Christopher's third album bad?
Worse.
No way! ~Haggard and Sweetwater, Battlefield: Bad Company

One who knows nothing can understand nothing.
Ansem-Kingdom Hearts

"Only >I< have the brains to rule Lylat!"
"Those tin cans are no match for me!"
-Andross, Star Fox64

Oh, and the G-Diffuser is the thingie that lets you do barrel rolls.
"Something´s wrong with the G-Diffuser!"

You want to know the meaning of life? Okay, here goes: Did you hear about the aliens who went into a bar on the moon? They left because it had no atmosphere! Hope that answers all your questions for you.

I am the very model of a scientist Salarian
I've studied species, Turian, Asari and Batarian
I'm quite good at genetics (As a subset fo biology)
Because I am an expert (Which I know is a Tautology)

My Xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian,
I am the very model of a scientist Salarian...


Mordin - Mass Effect 2

"Y'know, someday you'll just forget all about me. Then you'll miss me and cry, 'Oh, I wish we didn't abandon our poor friend Chroni!'"

"It's dangerous to go alone! Take this."- old man, Legend of Zelda
"What? Say something! Am I so beutiful that you've no words left?"- Midna, Twilight Princess
"Thank you Mario! But our princess is in another castle!"- Toad, Super Mario Bros. (Yes, grammatical errors must be included)

And there are many others, but these are on the top of the list.

"Is that a bottle of vomit?"
(roughly, I am tired and do not recall the exact quote. I may edit.)

"Ugh. Jars are not to be used to store zombie bodily functions"
~Ellis, Left 4 Dead 2