Housepets!

Get yourself a fork and you'll have a technological advantage

Help, school library is out of interesting books

That's a little complicated... One possibility would be to read the uninteresting books instead, or maybe you should get you books somewhere else, maybe Ebay.

There is a cat on the lawn crying for love... What to do?

call max ! but don't let grape know
h-help ! grape's standing behind me holding a broom

PROTECT YOUR FACE!!

Peanut stopped bugging Grape, but now he won't let me sleep!

Play the Game with him, he'll go back to bugging Grape.

Help! The lecture is making me sleepy.

Show interest in the subject, or take caffeine.
Blargh! I forgot the word that you say when you are in trouble!

No Habla Ingles!

Help! My sleep is shifted back by 12 hours.

Just pretend that 'AM' is 'PM' and vice versa. Now the whole world is using the wrong time!

Help! I'm running out of ideas of what to ask for!

I can't give you any of my ideas. As i don't have any spare...

Help, I can't go faster than the light.

Create an Alcubierre Drive or infinite energy.

Help! I need to know what's the sqrt(-i).

Try this link: http://tinyurl.com/GeckoZY

Out of the window it is like November, but the calendar says end of March. How can that be?

You have traveled a bit faster than light, the rest of the world would have time traveling at a different rate. XP

I want to visit the core of the Earth and still be alive.

We need to invent a machine that can cut the earth into two halfs and split it so, that you can go there.

Help, I have no idea how to invent such a thing.

Luckily, I've done the math on falling through the Earth, and we discussed it in the comment section!

Help, I'm out of cokes!

Have you been able to buy new coke in the meantime? Elso, try orange soda as an substitute.

Help, I need to bring out the trash, but it's cold and i don't want to.

Create a trebuchet out of the trash to fling the trash out. Don't mind the neighbors.

Help, I need to go to the moon quick!

That's not so far away fom you as you think - just click here.

Help, I don't know what to cook during the easter weekend.

just put a computer with a blue screen on the table it'll work.

help Ive fallen and i cant get up