Attack the above poster

For playing all sorts of silly I-don't-know-whats

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Ferret
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 10:32 am
Location: Washington State

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Ferret »

Dang. I use my TRUMP card!

>w<

My accomplices stir up anger between America and Russia... then decide to try and resurrect me somehow.

They do... with science and stuff... on a submarine... like all the great superheroes!

Anyway America and the tiny bit of Russia that is left and all of both sides' allies, duke it out, trading nukes to the death of everyone and thing on the surface of the planet.
NHWestoN
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Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:09 pm
Location: North of Boston Boy

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by NHWestoN »

Well, as sole survivor, I pull out my Glock and attack ... oh ... wait ... that's right ... aw, crumbs ............. sigh.
Ferret
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 10:32 am
Location: Washington State

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Ferret »

Then, we all wake up.

I, irrationally and furiously, attack Weston with a foam Nerf sword!
NHWestoN
Posts: 19292
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:09 pm
Location: North of Boston Boy

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by NHWestoN »

...and I retaliate by flattening you with my Nerf shield!
Ferret
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 10:32 am
Location: Washington State

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Ferret »

Nerf knife attack...

*Realizes how dumb this is*

Nerf gun attack!
NHWestoN
Posts: 19292
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:09 pm
Location: North of Boston Boy

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by NHWestoN »

Yeah, this whole Nerf thing is pretty drelbe....

Machete !!!!
Ferret
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 10:32 am
Location: Washington State

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Ferret »

FLAMETHROWER!!! DIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!
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TheSilverFox51
Posts: 281
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Location: The Planes of Oblivion

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by TheSilverFox51 »

Tomahawks! Tomahawks EVERYWHERE! ... Ill just go back to members vs mods, I'm no good at murdering my fellow humans... Or am I? TOMAHAWKS!!!
Allons-y
Ferret
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 10:32 am
Location: Washington State

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Ferret »

While you are turning your back I pick up a random stone and pelt it at the back of your head!
NHWestoN
Posts: 19292
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:09 pm
Location: North of Boston Boy

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by NHWestoN »

While you turn your back, I employ my geological training to careful select a large, smooth metamorphic rock of exotic color and exacting weight and bounce it off your skull....
Ferret
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 10:32 am
Location: Washington State

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Ferret »

good thing I'm a time traveling wizard of AWESOMENESS! I teleport to the moment before you threw the rock and directly behind you!

*SMACK!*
NHWestoN
Posts: 19292
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:09 pm
Location: North of Boston Boy

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by NHWestoN »

...and I deflect your teleport, leaving you in the depths of the LaBrae Tar Pits, surrounded by the depraved spirits of extinct Pleistocene mammals with exaggerated dental characteristics and no visual entertainment.
Ferret
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 10:32 am
Location: Washington State

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Ferret »

Wow... Let's just hope I perish quickly... JK! I'm invulnerable to depraved souls! I... I uh... teleport back?

I hurl a mug in your general direction.
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TheSilverFox51
Posts: 281
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Location: The Planes of Oblivion

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by TheSilverFox51 »

Wow, sure is muggy today, I throw a set of dishes and an entire cupboard of silverware at your face
Allons-y
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Buster
Game Master
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Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2015 9:26 pm
Location: Σ Disturbing Exploding Face

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Buster »

i steal a TARDIS and tele-frag your grandparents into red smears on the ground before they met eachother.

for those not familiar with the term, tele-fragging is making something explode by teleporting to a time and place it's already occupying, causing you to emerge inside it.
Most important thing I've learned from D&D?
No matter how tempting it may be, as a DM I can't both present a problem and solve it.
Every time a DMPC or NPC fixes something a payer couldn't i'm diminishing and undermining that player's contribution.
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Render
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Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2013 2:14 pm
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Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Render »

I smack your foot with a hammer.
ImageIf life gives you lemons, ask for salt and tequila.

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NHWestoN
Posts: 19292
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:09 pm
Location: North of Boston Boy

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by NHWestoN »

I wallop you in the back of the head with a drenched terrycloth bathrobe. Forest green, by the way.
Ferret
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 10:32 am
Location: Washington State

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Ferret »

I force you to drink orange juice after brushing your teeth...
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TheSilverFox51
Posts: 281
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Location: The Planes of Oblivion

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by TheSilverFox51 »

I make you step on a lego
Allons-y
Ferret
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 10:32 am
Location: Washington State

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Ferret »

I smack you with a frying pan!
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TheSilverFox51
Posts: 281
Joined: Sun Mar 11, 2018 2:47 pm
Location: The Planes of Oblivion

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by TheSilverFox51 »

I hit you in the face with a fire extinguisher.
Allons-y
Ferret
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 10:32 am
Location: Washington State

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Ferret »

DRIFTWOOD TO THE FACE!
NHWestoN
Posts: 19292
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:09 pm
Location: North of Boston Boy

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by NHWestoN »

Oh no, the stench of your driftwood attracts a thousand enraged sea gulls. I helpfully point them in your direction... using extra ellipsis dots.
Ferret
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 10:32 am
Location: Washington State

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Ferret »

I throw your dang ellipses at you! THERE IS A PLENTIFUL SUPPLY OF OVERUSED ELLIPSES!
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TheSilverFox51
Posts: 281
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Location: The Planes of Oblivion

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by TheSilverFox51 »

Not feeling too creative... Let's just release a zombie plague upon you all.
Allons-y
Ferret
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 10:32 am
Location: Washington State

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Ferret »

Fortunately, my katana will now come in handy! After destroying some zombies I punch you!
NHWestoN
Posts: 19292
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:09 pm
Location: North of Boston Boy

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by NHWestoN »

Excessive use of ellipsis periods has allowed me to store up tons of commas which I dump on everybody; resulting you all being swept away into a grammatical fire pit;

However, I'm now low on commas and periods so, until the next shipment arrives, I'm stuck with semi-colons:::
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Buster
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Posts: 5379
Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2015 9:26 pm
Location: Σ Disturbing Exploding Face

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Buster »

your grammatical atrocities offend so many people you get deported off earth into deep space.

In a shipping container.

that may not entirely be air tight.

how long can you hold your breath?
Most important thing I've learned from D&D?
No matter how tempting it may be, as a DM I can't both present a problem and solve it.
Every time a DMPC or NPC fixes something a payer couldn't i'm diminishing and undermining that player's contribution.
Ferret
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 10:32 am
Location: Washington State

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Ferret »

Unfortunately everyone on earth has gotten fed up with your totally awesome ways of destroying your foes... and the earth... several times.

They decide to public ally execute you-

-r sick new moves!

In a tar pit.
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Buster
Game Master
Posts: 5379
Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2015 9:26 pm
Location: Σ Disturbing Exploding Face

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Buster »

ungrateful little pests...

*snaps her fingers and disappears in a flash, a millisecond before the entire universe gets compacted down into a single infinitely dense atom that subsequently explodes and restarts everything.*
Most important thing I've learned from D&D?
No matter how tempting it may be, as a DM I can't both present a problem and solve it.
Every time a DMPC or NPC fixes something a payer couldn't i'm diminishing and undermining that player's contribution.
User avatar
Render
Wanna play a game?
Posts: 12355
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2013 2:14 pm
Location: Germany, Europe, Terra

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Render »

I staple toilet paper to your ears.
ImageIf life gives you lemons, ask for salt and tequila.

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Ferret
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 10:32 am
Location: Washington State

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Ferret »

I take out your kneecaps with a baseball bat.
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Render
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Posts: 12355
Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2013 2:14 pm
Location: Germany, Europe, Terra

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Render »

I stuff you into a tube and seal both ends.
ImageIf life gives you lemons, ask for salt and tequila.

Image Image
ImageImageImage
NHWestoN
Posts: 19292
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:09 pm
Location: North of Boston Boy

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by NHWestoN »

I bounce the tube off your head, knocking you flat.
Ferret
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 10:32 am
Location: Washington State

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Ferret »

I throw a half crazed, starving weasel at you!
NHWestoN
Posts: 19292
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:09 pm
Location: North of Boston Boy

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by NHWestoN »

SUMMON THE KRAKEN !!
Ferret
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 10:32 am
Location: Washington State

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Ferret »

I summon a swarm of pelicans to eat your kraken!
NHWestoN
Posts: 19292
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:09 pm
Location: North of Boston Boy

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by NHWestoN »

I call forth a mob of EPA investigators who bury you in a blizzard of court citations for inciting an ornithological riot, littering the beach, violating the endangered species act, endangering the violated species act, acting the species violated endangerment, and breaking the rule against feeding the wildlife...
Ferret
Posts: 18
Joined: Wed May 16, 2018 10:32 am
Location: Washington State

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by Ferret »

You can't prove anything! I shoot you in the leg and run!
NHWestoN
Posts: 19292
Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:09 pm
Location: North of Boston Boy

Re: Attack the above poster

Post by NHWestoN »

Your running panicked prey behavior attracts the kraken, your pelicans, and a legion of deranged sunscreen basted tourists with tragically lethal consequences for you. Oh, and your estate still has to pay all the EPA fines.
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