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Attack the above poster 
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Joined: Mon Oct 02, 2017 9:09 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
An extended plummet which ends with Silver Fox landing on tsMKG thanks to the mystical powers of falling body trajectory modification I have acquired through these two very large, somewhat painful head bumps you chaps given me during this thread. (ow...ow...ow...ow...).


Tue May 08, 2018 6:48 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
I zap you with a lightning whip, then latch a grappling cable onto your face so i can deliver a flying kick at high speed when it reels me in.

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Tue May 08, 2018 7:05 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
More ouch. Okay, as the cable propells you forward, I perform the little known seldom used eighth century Citcassian ballet slip which launches you and your detached cable into a grand splatter on the planet Mercury.

...anddddddd now I'm soliciting funds to pay for the EPA fine I just incurred. Sigh.


Wed May 09, 2018 7:12 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
I appear to have knocked mercury out of it's orbit, and you're at ground zero of the impending planetary collision.
i wouldn't bother running, there's not going to be much "earth" left after this.

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Wed May 09, 2018 8:17 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
Hmmmmmmm ... This could get me out of that fine .... Oh, wait, right, priorities !

So, persuading Elon Musk to fire a rocket ship at Mercury, the vehicle smashes into the wobbly planet, restores it to proper orbit, saves the planet (thereby again causing chagrin to poor Tarot), and a grateful Musk awards me a high-ranking, do-nothing staff job....

Oh, by the way, you were tied up on the rocket...


Fri May 11, 2018 11:39 am
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
I proceed to infect you with malware and then get you under my control, erasing any memory you had. Mwhahahaha

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Mon May 21, 2018 8:16 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
*ensures that your are thoroughly bricked by faulty firmware and ROM chips.*

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Mon May 21, 2018 9:51 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
...compels you to take all your software problems to Geek Squad !! NeeeeeeeeeeYaHaHa !!!


Tue May 22, 2018 7:50 am
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
Carp... Time to put that computer class that I didn't pay attention during to use! I use my very weak technical skills to write a lot of faulty code for all of you

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Tue May 22, 2018 9:46 am
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
NHWestoN Wrote:
...compels you to take all your software problems to Geek Squad !! NeeeeeeeeeeYaHaHa !!!


two issues with that, first, the head of the Geek Squad at my local store is an old friend who always gives me express service and discounts, so going to him isn't a bad thing.
second, 'problem' implies i can't figure it out myself. I'm tech support, figuring out computer stuff is half my day. save for situations i that require specialty hardware/software i don't have on hand, getting that stumped generally doesn't happen.

so while i'm busy debugging the mess all of you have made, i lock you lot out of all your favorite apps and forums.

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Tue May 22, 2018 7:19 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
U gonna fix me?

poof

Now I'm not a computer anymore.

So now...

I CAN THREATEN TO RIP YOU APART WITH MY REFINED CLAWS :twisted: shows claws way too long for a dog

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Tue May 22, 2018 8:40 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
Wait, I wasn't done...

*looks at the SID chip she took out earlier that now looks like a chunk of brain*

You MIGHT want to lie back down on the table... and hope i can put that back in...

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Tue May 22, 2018 8:44 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
Too late ... You are arrested for practicing brain surgery without a license as well as cruelty to technological components.


Thu May 24, 2018 1:37 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
*Flips the hidden 'deploy deathtrap' switch, and spends a moment watching you and the officers be dunked into a pit full of electric eels swimming in acid before turning back to tsMKG*

like i said, you really should lie down.

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Thu May 24, 2018 6:51 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
Fortunately, my long cultivated ability to befriend exotic aquatic creatures beguiles the eels into rescuing us from your plot, shocking you into immobility, and reducing the utility bills of the grateful residents of several western European and littoral African nations. Oh, and you now have a truly electric smile.....


Thu May 24, 2018 8:07 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
it also triggers the nuclear self destruct on my lab while all of you are well within 'ground zero' of the blast.

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Thu May 24, 2018 8:18 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
Um... what's this tube... "explosive gas tube"... Oh yeah! A pickaxe will fix it!

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Sat May 26, 2018 11:59 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
Wait! Here's a meat cleaver! You can get closer with it and be sure you don't miss the tube....


Last edited by NHWestoN on Wed May 30, 2018 6:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Sun May 27, 2018 7:41 am
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
I get Mariah Carey to do this.

https://youtu.be/6YsbsLHQabw?t=170

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Sun May 27, 2018 11:18 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
Quick spin of the ol'leaf blower and you're encased in smothering [but colorful] clay goo...


Wed May 30, 2018 2:37 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
Whipping out a Nerf gun, I proceed to take all of the bullets out of the mag and throw them at you!


Wed May 30, 2018 5:33 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
I repeat the Matrix sequence but rewinded. That means that the bullets go to you. run

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Wed May 30, 2018 8:09 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
I press play and they fly back in super awesome slow motion!


Wed May 30, 2018 10:11 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
i pin a security guard badge on your shirt, then put on a trenchcoat and shades.

Om my, where did this absurd number of airsoft guns come from? :twisted:

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Wed May 30, 2018 10:13 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
I pretend to be dead on the ground! once you pass I shoot you!


Wed May 30, 2018 10:15 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
Upon discharging your weapon, I run you over with the steam roller that is always available in situations like this [at least in the cartoons].


Thu May 31, 2018 6:30 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
I, as a ferret, scoot out of the way and use the gigantic wooden mallet, that I pull out of nowhere, on your steamroller!


Thu May 31, 2018 8:49 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
*properly loads, aims, and fires an Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator from a safe distance away*

*pulls out cellphone*

Hello?
yes...
Yes i'd like to order a replacement planet? The old one blew up.
yes i'm aware the warranty doesn't cover that, just put it town as accidental damage.
No you don't need to rescue any survivors, i don't think there were any.
Next tuesday? Great!
Se ya.

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Thu May 31, 2018 9:32 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
I was on alpha centauri the whole time that was just a clone of me!

Losing connection with "Terret32." I send "Gerret2" and "Zerret24" to scout the "Solar system" (not to be confused with stellar system(Stars other than Sol)) G2 and Z24 broadcast "That wasn't nice Buster, so many innocent people were evaporated! We will find you eventually."


Fri Jun 01, 2018 12:16 am
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
Oh boy, the days we we're all trapped inside a SNES while the "real world" was burning...

Through to be honest... *grabs magic wand* HOOHAHOOHALOLAPAKIPOKI, I trap y'all inside a Sega Genesis! (Since that's my preferred console)

Annnd now... Time to set the world on fire so when you guys finally get out of the console, y'all will face an imminent destruction and of course, flames! :twisted:

*grabs flame-thrower and starts to put on fire the things around him*

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Fri Jun 01, 2018 10:20 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
I use my fully upgraded Fus-Ro-Dah(Force) shout from Skyrim on you and laugh as you do some sort of funny rag doll off a cliff and perish.


Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:57 am
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
Amazing how a simple double-barreled shotgun at close range cuts through all the complexities to achieve a successfully fatal outcome...


Sun Jun 03, 2018 10:02 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
As long as the one you're aiming at isn't wearing a CMC-660 MK.II sure... :twisted: Need a light? *FWOOSH*

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Sun Jun 03, 2018 10:36 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
This is no time to pick a fight with the queen! *ZERGLING RUSH TO TO DEATH*

nothing beats cheap and expendable!
-Russia (in any war ever)


Mon Jun 04, 2018 12:09 am
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
Except cheaper and more expendable ... unleash the Tatar hordes! So ... while you're getting massacre, I'll jes' pocket this lonely little ol' win here and move along quietly.


Mon Jun 04, 2018 3:10 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
While you slink back into "Last poster wins" I slap you in the back and take the win.


Mon Jun 04, 2018 3:59 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
...and I drop to the ground just in time to dodge Buster's ax-wielding assault, allowing me the entertainment of watching you both in full buzzsaw mode.


Tue Jun 05, 2018 3:26 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
two problems with that.

one, YOU are the one i'm swinging at,

And two, I'm not alone. *presses a button on her wrist guard, and a drop pod housing a quartet of 550kg Hunter-Killer drones lands on you creating a 30m wide crater*

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Tue Jun 05, 2018 8:44 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
Unfortunately you seem to have forgotten that I have a huge swarm of zerglings destroying everything you hold dear to you. And drones taking your minerals! You are vastly outnumbered!


Tue Jun 05, 2018 10:12 pm
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Post Re: Attack the above poster
Hold that thought a moment...
*pushes button on wrist pad*
[Target confirmed. Liquid Tiberium Bomb deployed.]

*massive explosion decimates half the planet while i hide inside a covenant bubble shield*

I'm sorry what were you saying? oh right, nothing, because you're a pile of ash.

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Tue Jun 05, 2018 10:20 pm
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