Granted, but no one understands you.

I wish peanut were here

I wish it gone. . .

Fine, but he stays in your mind.

I wish for the uncorruptible

Granted you got completely nothing.

I wish for something!

This post is your something

I wish I were fishing.

You are arrested for Phishing, false charges you say? Resisting arrest!

I wish for a plate of sushi.

It went bad, so have fun with that!

I wish that I could find a diamond in the ruff. Get it?

It was a dog's tag, you got bit.

I wish I'll stop making puns.

All the laughter is out of your life now.

I wish for horse sense.

Neigh!

I wish somebody noticed the missing "r" <- I kinda had to take it to post this. . .

Granted. Forget the next day.

I wish for one hyper kitty.

EDIT: Not you, Hypergenesis.

Granted, I'm a fox.

I wish for blue popcorn.

Granted. You eat it. Now your skin is blue for the rest of your life.

I wish for everything to go smoothly this weekend.

Granted, the world becomes so smooth, in fact, that all friction is lost and the world as we know it ceases to function properly.

I wish I had wished that wishing would henceforth wish to be wished upon the wishers of wishes which wish to be wished themselves.
(I was never good at these, in case you can't tell)

Self-fulfilling wishes never turn out right.

I wish for a single enchantment to be repeated forevermore.

O.K., your worst enemy is enchanted forever.

I wish that next time flint visits this topic that he would notice that my previous post is edited.

Granted. Your computer blows up in a mushroom cloud; therefore, you now have to wait ten hours to see him reply.

I wish for a fish so that I can slap someone with a big fishy trout.

the fish is forzen solid and you go to jail for assault with a deadly weapon.

I wish my enemies would suffer

Granted. However, you are your own enemy.

I wish for a lake.

The impending flood will down you.

I wish I were an oscar meyer weiner

You get a generic hotdog.

I wish for Copper's wish to be corrupted as well as this wish.

The wish corruption negates itself and our wishes become paradoxical in nature.

I wish for dead presidents ( money)

Granted. They now become undead presidents and take your money instead.

I wish for a paradox.

Your paradox shatters your concept of reality. You live the rest of your life as a broken man.

I wish facebook would crash

Granted. Your face now crashes into an university physics w/modern physics book while you were driving in a car at 100mph and hit the brick wall in front of you.

I wish I had a tank.

Granted, you get hit by one.

I wish to know the secrets of alchemy!

Granted, but you find out that the secret to alchemy is how to bake perfect cookies every time.

I wish I had a scheme.

You did, but the authorities are notified of it before you even do it.

I wish Dissension would just say hi already

He has, you just didn't hear him.

I wish that I could play the violin.

You play with the violin THE RIGHT WAY by using it as an action figure with a red cape.

I wish for no cheese.

You are now lactose intolerant.

I wish for envy

You are now envious of yourself

I wish for all of the wishes, creating a black hole and sucking in all of the wishes to make a state of neutrality among all.

You are sucked into the black hole as well and are never heard from again.

I wish for secondsight

You get secondsight after you've been mauled over by a truck, attacked by ravenous wolves, and are left in a coma.

I wish I had the same fate...

You get it, but you die in the process.

I wish for a Tenacious D concert

You do, but you end up having no tickets enter it in the first place.

I wish for sleep

You sleep for twenty years rip van winkle.

I wish I had a pwny

your wish was not understood and you got pwn'd instead.

I wish I had made a wish before. AGAIN!

You just wasted another wish

I wish for a shooting star